To Live Again
by mk malfoy
Summary: De-aged Severus fic. Eleven years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Severus Snape returns to Hogwarts as a first year. Harry, a professor, helps him adapt, and he and Severus discover that there are other surprises in store for them. Is canon-compliant, bu
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: To Live Again I  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1115  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Prologue**

Laughter filled the air as a small boy with short black hair and rosy cheeks chased after a yellow balloon he had released. He called after it, telling it to stop. He skipped, ran, and clapped, watching it rise higher and higher into the deep blue sky.

Unbeknownst to the three-year-old, his mother had followed and now sat on the ground and watched with unfettered pride as her energetic son experienced one of the many wonders of being a child. She blew up another balloon, one that would not float away, and tied it to a string, then stood and neared her son, who turned around and gave her one of his huge grins.

"Mummy, look how high it is!" said the excited boy as he jumped up and down. "Where is it going?" Without waiting for an answer, he took the offered red balloon and began running again.

His beaming mother couldn't help the tear that fell.

**Chapter One**

After a two month reprieve, Hogwarts castle once again bustled with sounds of exuberance and youth. Its walls and mullioned windows, which had seen over a thousand welcoming feasts, were once again ready to host the wizarding world's future.

Professor Harry Potter, in his fifth year as the Potions master, and third year as the Gryffindor Head of House, stood inside the door to the Great Hall and watched as the students made their way to the house tables. As it always did as he awaited the beginning of the Welcoming Feast, his mind took him back eighteen years to his first year when he and Ron had entered the Great Hall and looked at the ceiling in awe. To an eleven-year-old who had grown up in an unloving home, Hogwarts had represented much more than a place to learn magic — it had called to him. From that first sight of the magnificent castle as the small boat had carried him across the lake, Harry had known Hogwarts would be his home, and it had been. He had lived elsewhere, yet Hogwarts would forever be his true home.

As he made his way to the High Table, Harry's eyes traveled to the middle of the table where Albus Dumbledore had sat for all those years when Harry and Voldemort had been involved in their dangerous dance. For all of Dumbledore's questionable tactics during that time, Harry had never blamed him for anything that happened; war was not nice and people had to make tough decisions.

It had been twelve years since Albus Dumbledore died, but his presence would linger forever. On more than a few occasions over the years, Harry had found himself in the Headmistress's office, talking to his former Headmaster. Against her better judgment, Professor McGonagall had relented and given Harry a master password so that he could converse with Dumbledore anytime he needed to because she knew Harry benefited from talking to him. Hermione repeatedly told Harry that it was unhealthy to spend so much time with someone whose days and nights were spent within the confines of a portrait, but Harry knew himself better than anyone else and he knew what he needed. He needed the council of his mentor, portrait or not.

Before his thoughts had any more time to turn toward the maudlin, McGonagall sat down next to him and smiled, but, as she always did on the first day of term, the Headmistress looked tense. Being in charge of a castle full of children couldn't be easy; Harry didn't envy his former professor in the least. They exchanged pleasantries and Harry updated her on what was going on with Ron and Hermione, who had moved to London two months earlier. When Hagrid and the first years entered, Harry grinned as his very first friend smiled and handed a handkerchief to one of the frightened girls who had a tear falling down her face. There was no one with a bigger heart than Hagrid.

Harry studied the latest wizards-and-witches-in-training. What new adventures awaited them? Would there be anyone as smart as Hermione, as devious as Fred and George, as unique as Luna, or as skittish as Neville? There were a few who looked like they would be prime Quidditch recruits in a year's time, and the little girl standing next to Hagrid, still sniffling as she clutched the handkerchief with white knuckles, looked as if she would be terrified of her own shadow. That one would have to be looked after. As Harry's eyes reached the last child and took in the palor of his skin and the distinctive angle of his nose, and the eyes that looked as black as… his entire body froze. Snape had a child? He laughed, but quickly stifled it at the reproving look from Minerva.

"Snape had a child?" Harry took a deep breath. He knew the truth deep inside — this child was not an amalgamation of Severus Snape and someone else — but he didn't want to believe it. He sank a little lower in his chair as Minerva shook her head and closed her eyes.

"No, Professor Snape never had a child."

Harry felt himself beginning to shake and he watched with dread as Minerva reopened her eyes and nodded again. Her eyes traveled to the student Harry was again staring at.

"It is him."

Harry's mouth opened as he stared at the boy. "No," he whispered.

The remainder of the feast passed in a blur as Harry tried to figure out how this was possible. He had heard of accidents where someone had been reverted to a child, but in each case, they had been returned to their former self within hours. Doing the math, it was obvious to Harry that Snape had most likely been reverted to a baby when Voldemort had tried to kill him with Nagini's venom, and had had to relive his life. This revelation shook Harry even more than his realization that he was gay, ten years earlier.

As he stood to leave after everyone had been dismissed, he couldn't take his eyes off the child who had been sorted into Slytherin, the child who he had watched die (he thought he had) as an adult eleven years earlier.

He heard Minerva speak to him but he continued to stare at the young Snape — that is until the boy looked at him and shrank back into the small group of students who stood around him. He looked frightened. Harry frowned and turned as a hand made its way to his shoulder.

"Severus knows everything, Harry, and he is terrified. Come to my office; Albus and I will explain everything."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: To Live Again: Part II  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1079  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Two**

Severus Snape sat on his bed as the other Slytherins sat in the common room laughing and having fun. He wasn't tired, but neither was he in the mood for stares and questions, even if they would be innocent in nature. He knew the curiosity was only natural, but that didn't make the looks and whispers any easier to endure. He was just like them; he deserved to be left alone. He hadn't chosen to be a Death Eater. Well, actually, he had, but that had been the old Severus, not him. Why couldn't everyone understand that?

Death Eaters had tortured and killed people. Had he killed anyone? Had he been as bad as he had been told? No matter that his mother had given him select pieces of information regarding his former life when he had asked, Severus knew there would be aspects of his former existence which he would never know about; perhaps that was for the best.

Severus fell back on his bed and closed his eyes. He wanted to go back to how things had been; he and his mum had been blissfully happy two weeks earlier. Now things had changed and Severus felt as if his world were crumbling around him.

He had spent the last eleven-and-a-half years becoming a person who anyone would be proud of. His mother had loved him and nurtured him and, when he had been plagued with nightmares, it had been his mum who had rocked him until he fell asleep, and it had been she who had told him he was okay, that no one would ever hurt him.

Severus wanted his mother to tell him that now. She always made him feel better, even if all she could do was hug him and tell him that they would get through this. That was all Severus wanted and needed. He knew life had changed for him, so he knew better than to wish that it hadn't, but he could always count on his mother to remind him that who he was, was the little boy who had chased balloons as he ran and laughed along the countryside in Wales.

* * *

For at least ten minutes after the last person left the Great Hall, Harry remained seated and stared ahead. He sipped on his pumpkin juice as he looked at the spot where Snape had sat minutes earlier. He shivered; it was cool in the castle, but the temperature wasn't what caused him discomfort. That look on Snape's face as he had looked at Harry — such terror and helplessness — no one had ever looked at Harry that way before and, if he lived the remainder of his life without seeing that lost expression again, that would be more than fine with him.

His goblet empty, Harry stood and made his way toward the gargoyle. So, Snape was alive. An eleven-year-old student who apparently knew about his past. Harry wondered just how much of the past the boy knew. He hoped not much. Someone so young shouldn't have to carry around such immense burdens, not even Snape.

As he neared McGonagall's study, all he could think about was his last image of Snape as he had lain in his blood on the floor in the Shrieking Shack — he had looked dead.

The sounds and sights of that night often kept Harry from sleep, and, now, knowing that he had left a man to die, he felt ill. How long had Snape been left alone? How long had it been before he assumed the body of his infant-self? And how had that happened?

He entered the circular room to see the former Librarian, Madam Pince, transform into another person: someone who, while not young, looked much younger than Pince. This new person had black hair, pale skin, a rather large nose, and a scowl on her severe face that sent the Gryffindor Head of House back a few steps. There was no doubt who she was. Harry took a deep breath and gulped, not sure he was ready for what he was surely about to hear. Hadn't Pince left after the war? Ron's dad had said she moved to Wales to be near her children…

Child?

Snape?

Perhaps Pince had used Polyjuice and had changed into this person. But no, Harry somehow knew that was not what had happened. She was…

Before he could say anything or even finish his thought, Minerva entered, her face going from pale to white as she witnessed the recently transformed lady standing across the room.

"Eileen? You were to wait for me before you… you were to wait," finished the weary-sounding Headmistress, her voice shaking, as she looked between Snape's mother and Harry. She waved her hand toward the chairs across from her desk before going to sit down. When her eyes met Harry's, he could tell that she was upset. So was he. He glanced at the nervous-looking lady who was still standing.

"You are Snape's mother?" A nod was all the response he received. When he turned toward Minerva she gave him a sorrowful shake of the head and sighed.

"Until two weeks ago, Harry, Severus was a little boy who had been allowed to live a normal childhood. Albus, Eileen, and I made a decision eleven years ago not to tell anyone what had happened. It was too dangerous at the time and, as the years went by, we didn't think it wise to upset little Severus's life, which would have happened had certain people found out."

Another glance at Snape's mother, Eileen Snape. Harry had many questions for her, but none of them were important at the moment. Instead he asked how Snape had found out about his past and how much did he know?

He heard a slight cough from above and looked up to see Albus Dumbledore beginning to speak. For the next hour he listened, without interrupting, which was not easy, to the two-dimensional form of Dumbledore give a lengthy explanation. When the yawning Dumbledore dismissed him, Minerva asked Harry to return the following evening at nine. He assured her he would, then left and headed for the Slytherin common room.

He and Severus Snape were going to have a talk, then Harry would be going to Malfoy Manor to pay his former year mate a visit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: To Live Again: Part III  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Eileen Snape  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1480  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Three**

Walking out of McGonagall's office, his thoughts filled with what he had been told regarding Severus, Harry couldn't help but touch the gargoyle. It, like much of the castle, was new, or looked new. There had been talk about abandoning the damaged castle in the aftermath of the war; some officials at the Ministry had wanted (and still did) to move the school to a smaller castle that had been located in a remote part of Ireland. Thankfully, more people than not had thought the idea merited little consideration.

Hogwarts had been given a second chance.

Harry had helped set the wards before the school reopened. Afterwards, he returned to his flat in Bristol and had tried not to think about Hogwarts. It had worked for a few months, but he had become restless. He could have gone and sought work, but who would hire him, and what would he be good at? Ron had asked him to work with him in Diagon Alley at the Joke Shop — that would have been fun, but being around Ron and his family still made Harry uncomfortable; no matter what others said, he felt responsible for Fred's death. There had been various offers to work at the Ministry, but that had never been a possibility — there were too many bad memories of that place. Harry had testified at two of the Death Eater trials, including Lucius Malfoy's, and each morning, as Harry had entered the Atrium, he had felt sick to his stomach. After the elder Malfoy had been sent to Azkaban, Harry walked out of the Ministry and hadn't returned.

With nothing else to do to occupy his time, Harry had begun to make potions. That he was doing something he had disliked so much as a student had not escaped his notice, but when he was in the middle of brewing a complex potion, his worries seemed to not matter so much. Before long, he had begun inventing his own potions.

When Madam Warner, who had replaced Slughorn as Potions master, decided to leave Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall asked Harry to return.

He did.

Teaching had not been easy, and it still presented him challenges on a daily basis, but he enjoyed helping the students and he did get satisfaction knowing that he was doing the same job Snape had done, just without the bitter chip on his shoulder.

Reaching the Slytherin common room, a tired Harry was relieved to see Jay Reese, a fifth year prefect, seated in the corner, reading a book.

Ten minutes later, Harry and Severus were in Harry's office, eating biscuits and drinking tea. Severus, who refused to look at Harry, had not spoken at all thus far and Harry knew it would be virtually impossible to get him to open up, especially since Harry had no idea what to say. He had never been good at talking to anyone. Possibly that was why he struggled daily as a teacher. Harry sighed. He had to get this right the first time; there might not be a second chance. Standing, he walked over to the window and looked out over the grounds.

"Mr. Snape, I am a teacher at this school and it is my duty to impart what I know about potions to my students. I do not play favorites, nor do I single out students who I might have a problem with. You are a first year here. I have never taught you. I do not know you. Whether you will be a good student or not is up to you, but you will begin in my class with a blank slate. What has happened in the past is of no concern to me at the moment."

Harry knew his voice sounded weak, but he was somewhat happy with what he had said. He only hoped his words had made sense. He turned around and looked at Snape, whose gaze focused intently on his cup of tea. Another minute or two passed. Harry sighed and scratched the back of his head. He had no idea what to do or say next.

"I do not hate you, Mr. Snape."

"But you hated _him_, didn't you?"

Two black eyes bore into Harry's green ones. How was it that this little boy had been someone whom Harry _had_ hated? Harry shook his head but then nodded.

"I won't lie to you. There was a time when I did hate _him_, but I got over that long ago. I do not hate you." Harry hoped his words helped, but Severus merely looked away.

"Do you think it would be okay if I went to see my mother? You must know who she is by now."

There was much more Harry had intended to say, but it was unlikely he would get anywhere, at least not tonight. He would go speak to Eileen, however, because he wanted to know why she had not taken Snape into hiding, or more hiding than he had already been in. Yes, his predicament had been revealed, but with a little ingenuity he could have remained somewhat sheltered from all of the madness that had resulted.

He dismissed Severus with an encouraging smile.

* * *

Malfoy hadn't changed much. He had filled out somewhat and his hair was darker (Harry had heard from Neville that Malfoy was trying to separate himself from his father), but his attitude mimicked the one he had projected at Hogwarts. He was haughty as ever as he summoned a house-elf to serve tea to him and his guest.

"So what brings you to my home, Potter? I must confess my surprise that you would step foot inside these walls willingly."

"Believe me, Malfoy, being here gives me no pleasure. However, you have information that I need regarding Snape."

Malfoy stood, walked to his desk and retrieved a parchment before returning to the sofa across from Harry, his expression unreadable. "So he is attending Hogwarts?"

Harry didn't feel like going through all of this with his former nemesis, but he would because he needed to know why Draco Malfoy had thought it necessary to tell Severus about his past. He coolly answered that of course the boy was at Hogwarts, then Malfoy asked if they had placed Severus under any protections, which Harry found quite interesting. He didn't answer; instead he asked who it was that had plans for Severus because it was obvious that Malfoy was not working alone. Malfoy remained silent. Harry fumed.

"No matter that you were an advanced student in school, Malfoy, there is no way you could have made Snape revert to a baby, and if his unfortunate reversal was because of an accident he, himself, had caused, you would not know what had happened, would you?" Harry smirked. He really had no idea of any of this. For all he knew, Malfoy had known how to revert someone to a child back in seventh year, but he doubted it. "Someone else had to have done it and told you about it. I _will_ find out who it is, Malfoy. I just find it difficult to believe that you of all people would put Snape in such peril. He helped you!"

"You have no idea what you are talking about, Potter. I had no choice but to confront him," Draco said, his voice rising with each word, his face turning red.

"You always have a choice, Malfoy… always." Draco shook his head. "Then tell me. TELL ME, Malfoy. What is going on? I have a student who is in danger because you exposed who he really is to the world. I can't believe you would do that. You looked up to him, Malfoy." Harry opened his mouth to say more but stopped. He was too angry.

"You should leave, Potter." Malfoy was now visibly shaking.

Now, besides being angrier than he had been in a long while, Harry was intrigued. Had that been the sound of concern in Malfoy's voice? And why was he trembling?

Harry retrieved his cloak and left without another word.

* * *

"He said he doesn't hate me."

"Of course he doesn't hate you, Severus. Mr. Potter has had many bad things happen to him in his life. So have you. He is not going to hold you responsible for that which you have no control over." Stepping back, she looked at him and shook her head as her son's impassive face stared back at her. "Oh, Severus, you have so much to offer the world. Please do not hide yourself away. Your burdens are many, but we can get through them if you allow me to help you."

Severus looked away. "I'm a Death Eater, Mum."


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: To Live Again: Part IV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 2261  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Four**

"_I can't do this, Harry. It's just too hard. Please understand."_

"Why? I could help you. I could help him. Let me take Ronnie to St. Mungo's."

"No, Harry. No magic."

"So what now? You're going to take him away and watch him die? You can't take him away from me. I love him, Brian. And what about us? Do the last three years mean nothing to you?"

"You've never loved me, Harry. I loved you the moment I saw you, but you never could bring yourself to love me. I am sorry that I'm taking Ronnie away from you. I know you love him like he was your own, and he loves you like you were his father, but that isn't how it is. I am his father and he is my son. I am losing my son, Harry, and it is killing me. I have lost you, now I am losing my son. I have to face what is happening to Ronnie, but I don't have to face you. I am sorry, but I've made up my mind."

"Ronnie!" Harry sat up, his heart racing. He retrieved his wand from beneath his pillow. It was five-fifteen; he knew he'd never get back to sleep so he got out of bed and walked out into his sitting room. He sat on the sofa and put his head in his hands. He'd been having this same dream every night for the past week, ever since he had seen Severus Snape. It was more than a dream, however. It had happened.

Harry had left, and eight months later Harry received a letter telling him that Ronnie had died. He had gone to the funeral and had exchanged condolences with Brian, but nothing more. After the funeral Harry had returned to his flat in Bristol, broken-hearted.

* * *

Severus curled his feet beneath him and opened the piece of parchment, which had been opened so many times that it was about to fall apart.

_Tobias and Eileen Snape announce the birth of their son…_

He quickly closed it and placed it in the book he had on his lap when he heard someone enter the common room.

"Hi, Severus."

Snape stared at the second year girl. Very few people spoke to him unless they had to, and certainly no females had approached him.

"What're you reading?"

"Nothing," Severus said defensively. He disliked people who pried.

"Oh okay. Er well, I just wanted to see what you were doing. G'night."

Severus stared at the girl until she finally left.

* * *

"You do not know that Draco or the Death Eaters had anything to do with what happened to Severus, Harry. Perhaps he discovered the information some other way."

Not for the first time, Harry felt as if he might scream. Minerva was convinced that Draco could not have been a part of something so sinister. Harry wanted to agree with her assessment, but he didn't think that Severus's de-aging had been an accident, and he was going to find out what happened.

"I know you mean well, Harry, but when Eileen found Severus in the shrieking shack, she found a vial of potion beside him. There was not anything left inside. It is likely that Severus took it on purpose, knowing what it would do. It was his idea, Harry. He did this to protect himself."

There was nothing Harry wanted to believe more than that, but he couldn't. How could Minerva be so sure? He didn't recall seeing a vial beside Snape, and Malfoy was the one who had exposed Severus's secret. These two things were not a coincidence. Harry set his teacup down and stood. He was going to get nowhere with Minerva. She wanted to believe that their new little charge was safe, and the only way to do that was to believe that this situation with Severus had nothing to do with Death Eaters.

"Minerva, I want to believe that, but I don't."

"Harry, you've been through a lot this past year. Albus and I haven't said anything before now; we didn't want to bring it up, but this thing with Severus… you're determined to protect him because of what happened to Brian's son, aren't you?"

Seven days. Harry had wondered how long it would be before someone mentioned either Brian or Ronnie. Harry shook his head but could feel his eyes beginning to burn. "Severus will not be harmed, Minerva; I will see to that. I have second year Hufflepuffs/Ravenclaws in ten minutes, so you'll excuse me if I need to take my leave before we are finished." Harry knew his words were clipped and harsh, but he was tired of everyone acting as if everything was fine and then, without warning, bringing up what had happened. It wasn't fair. And then there was Severus.

* * *

Severus raised his hand and answered the question Professor Binns asked. After a week of lessons, Severus had decided he liked History of Magic the best. Charms was easy, and he was fairly good at Transfiguration, but those lessons were boring. Of course, he was proficient in Potions, but how could he not? He had been the Potions master, after all. If it were not for Professor Potter, Severus would love Potions. As it was, he tried so hard not to do anything to attract attention to himself that he did not participate much in discussions.

"Very good, Mr. Snape. Five points to Slytherin."

A small smile made its way to the boy's face, but then it was time to go to his next lesson. Reluctantly, Severus picked up his bag and stood to leave, but he was blocked by one of the Ravenclaws. Severus tried to walk around him, but the boy stuck out his foot. Severus's breathing sped up.

"Who will you go to now?" asked the other student.

Not understanding, Severus remained silent.

"There are no more Death Eaters since Voldemort is gone. Who will you go to now, Death Eater?"

All Severus could do was shake his head. He wasn't a Death Eater.

"Kneazle got your tongue, Snape? Who do you answer to? My father said your lot killed a lot of innocent people. Who did you kill?"

Severus was now shaking. He looked for Professor Binns, but the diminutive man was talking to another student, his back facing Severus. "I—"

"You don't deserve to be here. You should have died that night."

Then the student left, leaving Severus at a loss. He dropped his bag and ran.

* * *

Eileen and Harry tried to calm down the hyperventilating Severus. Poppy helped him to breathe normally after only a few minutes, but he clung to his mother and refused to let go.

"I need you to tell me what happened, Severus, love. I've got you. No one is going to hurt you."

Harry stood back, unsure what he was doing there, but Eileen had asked him to come, so he had. Minerva was at the Ministry and wouldn't be returning for a few hours. Harry had informed Albus that something had happened, but, of course, there wasn't anything that the portrait-confined Headmaster could do other than offer his usual council.

No one seemed to know what had happened, and Severus refused to talk.

As he continued to watch Eileen (Surprisingly, he never thought of her as Madam Pince at all anymore), Harry thought he could understand why the eleven-year old was far more needier than most children his age, and why his mother catered to that need. Most mothers who lost a son did not get a second chance to show their children love. From what Harry had observed thus far, Eileen Snape was everything a child could ask for in a mother: she was attentive, loving, and was always there for her son. Harry envied that bond between mother and son, but he was happy that Severus had finally received the love he had missed the first time.

"He's asleep. Let me put him in bed and I'll be back."

Harry nodded and watched as Severus's mother lifted her son. Two little arms wrapped around Eileen Snape's neck and she looked back at Harry and smiled as her son turned his head. Perhaps the boy was a bit too old to be carried, but Harry thought it was the sweetest thing he had ever seen. A few minutes later, she returned and poured herself a cup of tea.

"I am not a vindictive person, nor am I violent, Harry, but I could kill Draco Malfoy for what he has done to my son. He has destroyed the little boy I knew. I don't think there is any way to get him back."

"Why did you bring him back here?" Harry blurted out. He hadn't meant to sound accusatory, but he wanted to know. As soon as he said it, Eileen visibly deflated — her shoulders slumped and she put her head in her hands. Harry wished he could take his thoughtless words back. Why couldn't he learn that sometimes it was best to not say anything? "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that."

"It's okay, dear. Believe me, it is a question I ask myself every day. I was scared, Harry, and I knew Hogwarts was the safest place for us. And Severus was not dealing with what Draco told him at all well. I didn't know what to do. I knew Draco would alert the wizarding world as to what had happened. I was desperate. I think I made the wrong decision. I don't know what to do," finished Eileen Snape as she dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. She glanced towards the room where Severus slept. "I can't lose him again."

All Harry could do was look at the mother of Severus and sigh. He was tired. He had somehow become attached to this situation and felt he should be able to come up with a solution, but he knew there wasn't one. This — Severus, who had been a Death Eater, who was now a child — was a reality that was probably not going to have a positive outcome.

* * *

A month later, there was another confrontation between a group of students and Severus, but, unlike the previous incident, this time, there were witnesses. Within the day Severus had been removed from his Slytherin dorm room and placed with his mother. That had brought more ridicule his way though, so the following day it was decided that Severus would move into Harry's rooms. A Slytherin student moving into the Gryffindor Head of House's rooms would not be much better and was sure to cause the other students to make snide remarks, but everyone was running out of ideas and, short of removing the boy from Hogwarts, there was little other choice than to have Severus move in with Harry.

* * *

"Can I add the beetle eyes now?"

"_May_ I add the beetle eyes," Harry corrected.

"_May_ I add the beetle eyes now?" Asked a meek Severus.

"Yes, you may. Don't forget to stir it clockwise, twenty times."

"Yes, sir."

Harry sat back and watched Severus prepare the potion. The boy really was talented, but then again, Harry had known that. The boy had been the one to teach Harry, after all.

"Was I a bad teacher, Professor Potter?"

The Potions master-turned-guardian frowned and shook his head. This was going to have to stop. Severus seemed obsessed about his past. Harry scratched the back of his head and stood. There were two more steps to go before the potion was complete and if they stopped now it would be ruined. Harry removed the ladle from Severus's right hand, set it down on the work table, put out the fire beneath the cauldron, and led the boy over to his desk and pointed to a chair.

When he had the boy's attention, he sat down behind his desk. "You are a student at Hogwarts, Severus. You are not a professor. You are not a Death Eater. You are not an adult. You are not a bad person. You will not ask any further questions about the other Severus Snape." Severus frowned and opened his mouth, but Harry lifted his hand and shook his head. "Yes, there are things you do deserve to know and you will know everything you want to in time, just not now." Severus's frown increased. Harry sighed.

"How can I defend myself from my past if I do not know what my past was?"

Not for the first time, Harry cursed Draco Malfoy under his breath.

"You come to me or your mother if anyone says anything about… that." Harry was unsure of himself. He was a teacher but he hadn't the first clue how to really talk to children. He watched Severus nod, but then the boy stood and walked with drooped shoulders to his room. Harry leant his head back and closed his eyes. Maybe Minerva had been right. He had done a really good job of blocking out Ronnie's death, but now he couldn't stop thinking about him. Severus and he would have gotten along wonderfully.

A few hours later, as Harry was redoing the potion, he heard Severus's door open, and watched as the boy sat in front of the fire. His black eyes stared into the flames as if he were looking for answers. Harry wished he had answers. He needed help. Maybe it was time he contacted Hermione.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: To Live Again: Part V  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 2113  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Five**

Harry walked into the room and looked around at all of his students. It never ceased to amaze him that he was a teacher. He certainly had not been the most studious student during his six years at Hogwarts. Had anyone told him back then that he would, in the not so distant future, be responsible for teaching students about potions, he would have laughed out loud.

He waved his wand towards the board behind him and cleared his throat to get his students' attention. It being so near the beginning of term, Harry still had a captive audience; his first years seemed eager to learn. No doubt, that would begin to change as November neared. For some strange reason, the first of November seemed to be the day students began to not pay attention. Perhaps it was in anticipation of the holidays, even though they were not until December.

Retrieving a parchment from his desk, Harry informed his students that they would be making the Shrinking Potion they had read about and discussed during the Double Potions lesson a few days earlier.

After half an hour, Harry walked the aisles and critiqued the color, clarity, and smell of each potion. It was early in the year yet, but Harry was already impressed with the progress he was seeing in each of his lessons.

As he approached Severus's cauldron, Harry heard stifled laughter from across the room and turned to see one of the Hufflepuff girls pointing at Severus and whispering loudly. He sighed when he realized who it was.

"What is so funny, Miss Skeeter?" Almost as soon as he asked, he wished he hadn't. Anything Rita Skeeter's niece had to say couldn't be good.

"Are you going to make us test the potion, Professor Potter? Snape would be a good test subject if you are since he has already shrunk himself before." Giggles followed.

Severus's face went blank.

"One-Hundred Points from Hufflepuff and detention for a week with Mr. Filch, Miss Skeeter. I do not want to hear another word from you. You will receive an incomplete for your work today." With a wave of his wand, the girl's perfectly brewed potion was gone.

When he dismissed the students, Harry approached Severus and watched him turn his head and look down as he retrieved his book bag.

"Severus, may I have a word with you?"

Severus shook his head.

"I am afraid I must insist. Please meet me in my office."

Severus did not move.

"Severus? Look at me." When those black eyes looked up, Harry flinched. He was looking into familiar eyes. Instead of the young, innocent ones of a boy, they were the angry eyes of someone who had seen too much horror in his life. Harry had seen them before, when the boy before him had been a man. More than anything else had thus far, this confirmed Harry's thoughts that, no matter what anyone did, the likelihood that Severus Snape would grow up to be the same as he had been before, was high.

* * *

London was so big; Harry had no idea how Hermione and Ron could stand the constant barrage to the senses. All the people made him feel claustrophobic as he walked down the crowded pavement toward their flat, and the noise was never-ending. Harry much preferred the quiet of Hogwarts.

Neville and Luna, newly married, lived nearby and had been asking him to visit for the past three months. He hadn't kept in touch with anyone recently, and he knew he needed to remedy that. If he had enough time after he visited with Hermione, he would go see them, then he wouldn't have to come back here anytime soon. He loved his friends, truly, he did, but the city just wasn't for him.

When he finally reached number fourteen, he let out a whispered, "It's about time." He knocked on the door and waited. Was he doing the right thing by talking to Hermione about Severus? The door opened and he was enveloped in a hug.

"Harry! You didn't let me know you were coming. I could have made us dinner. Ron will be home in an hour. How are you? We've been so worried. You never answered Luna's invitation."

He pulled out of the hug and stepped back. This was why he rarely visited. Hermione was a wonderful friend, but she was so high-maintenance and seemed to think everyone else should be the same. "I'm fine, really. Things are a bit hectic is all." She was giving him that look. Harry hated that look. "Don't look at me that way, Hermione, like I am about to fall apart. I'm not. Really, I'm not."

"Have you spoken to Brian?"

As he had expected, he wasn't going to be able to escape talking about what had happened. He swallowed. He didn't want to, but he would, if only to get it over with. "No. We haven't spoken since the funeral. He left me, remember?" Harry didn't want to talk about this.

"Oh, Harry, how could he have done that to you? Ronnie was almost like a son to you. You have had to grieve alone. Oh, Harry."

"Hermione, I'd rather not…" but Harry shook his head. Maybe it would help if he just told her how he felt. "If you must know, no, I'm not okay. I am so angry. I can't accept that Ronnie is gone. I know he is, but he was so real. He was such a huge part of my life for three years, then he was gone. I could care less about Brian. I mean, yeah, I miss the hell out of him; I thought he and I were going to be together forever. But, I was wrong. He's doing what he needs to do to cope. So am I. So that is how things are. Please don't ask me anything else. I promise that I'll talk to you more when I'm ready. There's so much I want to tell you, just not now, okay?" Harry finished, out of breath.

"Okay," Hermione replied, on the verge of tears.

It was clear that she wanted to say more, but she didn't. "Thank you. The reason I am here is Severus Snape…"

For the next hour, Harry explained what had happened and asked Hermione what she would do if she were him. When Ron came in, he was filled in on what was going on; Harry didn't feel right leaving him out. The three of them sat at the kitchen table and sipped on butterbeers and talked about Severus, as well as what had been going on with Harry's two best friends.

"I told Harry we need to find out what happened to Severus," Hermione said to her husband as she handed him another butterbeer, "but, unfortunately, I don't think that is going to help him. I'll begin the research straight away though. I can't believe I am saying this, but I wish we could somehow hide him away or change how he looks, and change his name to get him away from what is going on."

Harry nodded. "Yeah well, that should have been what happened when this all first came out, but it isn't how it is and there is no way it'd work anyway. Malfoy knows. He isn't going to let this go. If Severus disappears, Malfoy'll go after him; he has unlimited resources at his disposal."

"Well, we all know I hated Snape," Ron said, "but I think what he needs more than anything we have talked about so far is some fun. If he is as scared as you say he is, Harry, he needs to have a day where he doesn't have to worry about anything. It won't change anything, but it'll do Snape some good."

Hermione kissed Ron on the cheek. Harry grinned. Who knew Ron had a heart when it came to Snape?

* * *

"Mum?"

"Yes?"

"You told me when I was younger that I could go to any wizarding school I wanted to. Can… may I go to Durmstang?" Severus's eyes, usually dull and expressionless, were bright now.

"Why would you want to go there, Severus? All you ever talked about was Hogwarts. I don't know if Durmstrang would accept a student this late into term."

"I want to like it here, but everyone hates me, Mum. At least at Durmstrang I'll be with other people who most people do not like. I know you brought me here so I would be safe, but Mum, they all hate me; sometimes I get scared and think maybe I'd rather not... I just think I need to go somewhere else."

"Is that what you truly want?"

"I think so. Professor Potter will be upset with me if I leave, though," Severus said, sadly.

"Why do you say that?"

"He keeps telling me I am good and that he can't wait until I can help him make potions for Madam Pomfrey. If I leave, I won't be able to do that."

* * *

An owl Harry had never seen before came through the window and deposited a parchment on his lap. Harry gave the owl a treat, sent her on her way, then opened the parchment and scanned the contents:

"_Meet me at The Three Broomsticks at three this afternoon. Moody. Do not ignore this._"

Harry smiled. So it seemed that Malfoy wanted to talk, but didn't want to be seen. Harry banished the missive, went to the fire, and grabbed a handful of Floo Powder from the mantel.

"Eileen Snape." He saw her seated on her sofa reading. "Might I have a word?"

"Hello, Harry. Come on through. I have a few minutes before I need to return to the library."

A few minutes later he was seated, a cup of tea in his hands. Severus, who usually spent his free periods in his mother's rooms, was no where to be seen, but that was no surprise. He had hardly spoken to anyone since the latest incident in Potions.

"To what do I owe this visit, Harry?"

"Would you consider allowing me and two of my friends to take Severus on a picnic?" Harry waited nervously for an answer. Ron's idea just might help.

"Harry, I would trust you with Severus anytime, you know that, and I trust your judgment, but I don't think this is a good idea. Severus already knows we are trying to make him feel better. This might do more harm than good. It won't change anything. Severus came to me earlier and asked if he could go to Durmstrang. As much as I do not like the prospect of him going there, I am actually considering it. I think I made a huge mistake bringing him back here."

Harry didn't understand. How could getting Severus away for a day be anything but a good thing? He opened his mouth to respond when Severus walked into the room and looked at his mother.

"Please, Mum? May I go? I think it would be loads of fun."

* * *

Anyone who passed by the small table at the back of the crowded Three Broomsticks at two-fifty seven saw an elderly man with white hair and a beard sitting down at a table where a younger man who had longish red hair was reading a book.

Harry waited a few minutes then lowered the book. "I'm listening."

"Had I not made his predicament public, he and his mother would have been killed. So, no, I did not have a choice, pretty boy."

Harry watched Malfoy smirk as a witch passed by and looked at Harry. This wasn't the first witch that had given him a closer look. How was it that he, as Harry Potter, could not attract anyone, male or female, and now, as someone whom he thought looked less than homely, he seemed to be attracting more attention than he wanted? Malfoy seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself as he rolled his eyes at the witches. "Who is behind this?"

"I can't say."

"Why?"

Draco glared at Harry. "I rather like my life and am not ready to see it ended."

"Please. He needs to be kept safe and we can't do that if someone is out there trying to get him."

"He'll be okay. No one is going to get him at Hogwarts."

But what about at Durmstrang? Harry wanted so badly to tell Malfoy that Severus was probably about to leave Hogwarts, but he was not quite that foolish. "How do you know that?"

"I have to go."

"No. You can't just tell me this and not tell me who it is."

Malfoy left without another word. Harry continued to sit at the table, his mind reeling. Who was Malfoy afraid of? Who had tried to kill Severus and his mother? Could Harry trust what Malfoy said?

Harry stood and made his way to the door. When he got there, a young witch winked at him and told him he had pretty eyes. Harry grinned as he nodded his thanks.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title**: To Live Again: Part VI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,128  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Six**

"Professor, she can't take him out of Hogwarts," Harry said as he sat on the edge of Minerva's desk and looked at Dumbledore.

"I am afraid she can, Harry. Severus is her son."

"But she—"

"Harry. Listen to me. You are too involved. Take my advice and let this go. Eileen Snape can keep her son safe."

"I don't understand why you seem to not care. That first night you were genuinely concerned. What changed?"

"Nothing has changed, Harry. I merely worry that you are too involved. You are projecting your feelings for Ronnie onto Severus."

"I am not doing any such thing. I am merely concerned for his well-being. He is my student." Harry watched Dumbledore smile and nod, and it only served to frustrate Harry more. Why was Dumbledore always so evasive with his words? And why did Harry still come visit with him, knowing that he was never going to get an answer he wanted?

"If you insist on pursuing this, Harry, you might want to consider that you no longer seek my council as you once did. You have grown up over the past five years and I am fully confident that you will be up to the task to handle whatever comes your way. Minerva would never have asked you to be Head of Gryffindor if she didn't think so. You underestimate your worth, my boy. I will only ask one thing — that you be careful."

Was he being dismissed… for good? Dumbledore's voice sounded resigned, but he hadn't told Harry to stop what he was doing. Then again, when had he ever listened to anyone who told him not to do something? Perhaps Dumbledore realized this and had decided to let it be. "I have to go."

"Going to see Severus?"

"I have a meeting with Derrington; I am helping him tomorrow with a dueling presentation. Afterwards, if it is not too late, then I might go see Severus."

"He is a child who craves attention and love, Harry. Be careful."

Harry slid off the desk and stared into the eyes of Dumbledore before turning to leave. He respected the man, but sometimes… "Don't worry, Albus. I do not like little boys."

"That's no—"

Harry closed the door behind him and began his descent, so he didn't hear what else Dumbledore said.

By the time he got to the Defense against the Dark Arts room, he was ready to duel. He wanted to take his frustration out on someone else. He opened the door and slammed it behind him as he entered. He noticed Derrington sitting on his desk. The man looked good enough to eat.

"You look unwell, Potter. We could postpone this."

"Actually, I'm looking forward to this. I am so mad right now that I could just about kill someone."

Sean Derrington gave Harry a questioning look as he retrieved his wand. "Wonderful. My seventh years have been giving me trouble all week and I need an outlet to get my frustrations out."

Harry smirked. Too bad Derrington was straight; they could work out their frustrations quite well on the desk. Unfortunately, for Harry, Sean was married to someone who was in Parliament, and he didn't look like he would be the type to have someone on the side.

An hour later, both men, completely out of breath, sat on the work table in the staff room drinking coffee.

"You're good, Derrington. We should do this more often."

"I'd like that. I hope our demonstration impresses upon my sixth years how important it is to know how to cast spells silently."

Harry laughed. "I hate to say this, but I didn't get it and I was the _Boy Who lived_. Some things just can't be impressed upon students no matter how much you try. I didn't get it even after Snape practically begged me to keep my mouth shut."

"It's good to know Harry Potter is human," Derrington said, as he smiled good-naturedly. "It'll be a good show then. They can see how it can be done. I pray to Merlin that none of these students ever have to put any of this to real use."

"Same here. I never want any of them to go through what I did. War is a nasty business. It changes you… forever. I'll never be the same again. Sometimes I wonder if I should even be here."

"You might not realize it, Potter, but these kids think the world of you. I know you have doubts about your ability to teach, but you are doing a fine job, especially with Severus Snape. Most of the staff look down upon him; it makes me so angry. I am glad you have put the past behind you to help him. I know it can't be easy after what happened to your little boy."

The staff had known about Ronnie, had seen him with Harry roaming the corridors, but since Ronnie's death, there had been little mention of him, which Harry appreciated. It was still difficult to think about him, but Harry was finding that talking about it helped.

"No, it's not easy. I miss Ronnie more than anything. He was my world for almost three years. Minerva thinks it unhealthy for me to be so concerned about Severus; says I'm trying to replace Ronnie, but I'm not. I know he's dead. Severus deserves to be happy is all." Harry smiled as he stood and walked to the door. The duel had rejuvenated him, but the words Derrington spoke did more for him than anything else could have. "Same night and time next week sound good to you?" Harry asked.

"It does."

* * *

Severus entered the library and walked to the desk where his mum was writing. She looked busy but he needed to talk to her. She looked up and smiled.

"Hi, Severus. How was Charms?"

"Okay, I guess." It had not been at all okay. Well, the lesson had been fine, but the same girl who had been trying to talk to him for weeks had come and sat by him, and that had not been at all okay. "I wanted to ask you about going on that picnic with Professor Potter and his friends. May I go?" Severus looked expectantly at his mother, wanting this so badly. It was not looking like he was going to be able to go to Durmstrang, but at least if he could get out for one day, he could forget about everything.

"It isn't safe for you to be out. I can't allow you to go. I'm sorry, Severus."

"I am unsafe here, Mum. Don't you understand? Please let me go."

"You are safe as long as you are near me."


	7. Chapter 7

**Title**: To Live Again: Part VII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 2,000  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Seven**

Harry entered, curious as to why Eileen needed to see him. Her letter had asked him to come for tea in the staff room at his earliest convenience. This had become an almost daily routine, one that Harry looked forward to. Unfortunately, today hadn't been a good one thus far. Perhaps whatever Eileen had to say would improve his mood, but Harry was doubtful that would be the case. He sat across from her and accepted the cup of tea she handed him. He took a sip and welcomed the warmth it provided him.

"Filch told me one of the fifth years decided to see if he could recreate what Fred and George did as sixth years," Harry said, humor in his voice.

"Yes, and I am not the least bit amused. I've never seen the library in such disarray. I have Mr. Ray scrubbing the floors and walls as we speak — without magic. I closed the library and put Peeves in charge of making certain our wayward student does as he was told."

"You must be mad," Harry said before he took another sip of his tea. "I'm sure with Peeves in charge, there is sure to be mass chaos, but, I guess it should ensure that there are no repeat incidents."

"Precisely what I was thinking. I'll give it a few hours then I'll wave my wand and have the library back to how it looked before."

"How very Slytherin of you, Eileen." Harry removed the parchment his owl had brought him. "You needed to see me?" He watched as she nodded.

"Yes. I think there is something you should know. The reason I am unwilling to allow Severus to go with you and your friends is because he is safe when he is near me; I am the one protecting him. It is blood magic, Harry. I told Severus that when he is near me he will be safe, but he doesn't know why that is. He came to the library earlier and said I was too afraid to let him go have some fun. If he only knew. I don't know what to do. If he and I are too far apart, he is unsafe. I have protected him all these years… forty-nine years my blood has protected him."

Well that certainly was interesting; Harry had certainly not expected to hear that as an explanation as to why Eileen didn't want her son to go on a picnic. Severus was being protected by the same magic that had protected Harry all those years ago? Harry had never heard of another situation like his, but he had always known that he couldn't possibly be the only person to have benefited from blood magic.

"You need to tell him why it is that he needs to be near you, Eileen. It'll make him understand that you're not being overprotective. He'll have to understand then that you are only being practical. And I don't know why we didn't think about this earlier, but you should go with us, then everyone can go and be happy." Harry watched the frown turn into a smile. It was such an obvious solution.

"I'll think about it; Severus really does need to get out. I talked to Albus earlier and he said the same as you: that I need to be honest with Severus about the blood magic. It's just that Severus has so much to deal with; I don't want to tell him anything else that is going to worry him."

Harry understood, but he also knew that withholding information wasn't always the best course of action. Lack of information had got him in loads of trouble, and had cost his godfather his life.

As he returned to his office to retrieve the papers he needed to mark, Harry thought about what Severus had told him as they had eaten breakfast.

"_It would have been better had I died that night."_

Harry's response had been harsh: he had said perhaps Severus was right, and that Madam Pince would not have had to worry about her son any longer. She could've gone wherever she wanted, but that wherever she would've gone, she would have been heartbroken, but at least she would've no longer had to worry. Then Harry had looked Severus in the eyes and told him that he was selfish and that he needed to stop being so dramatic. Severus had gone to his room without another word.

Perhaps Harry's reaction had been too severe, but when Severus had said he'd rather have died that night, all Harry could think about was Ronnie, and how much he had wanted to live. He had fought for his life, and here Severus was saying he wished he would have died.

A few hours later, as the marked papers' stack increased, Harry's mood began to improve. Marking had always been relaxing for him, which most of the other staff found difficult to believe. Many of them said they dreaded marking papers more than anything else.

"Professor Potter? Are you busy?"

Looking across the room, Harry saw Severus standing in the doorway of his room. There were two stacks still to be marked, but they could wait. Harry wrote an A at the top of Miss Skeeter's paper on the History of Potion Making in England, then set his quill down and looked up as he pointed to the chair across from his desk. As Severus sat down, Harry noticed the boy held something in his hands. Harry couldn't see what it was, but he guessed it was Severus's birth announcement. Why Severus carried it everywhere he went, Harry couldn't guess, but it wasn't hurting anyone and it seemed to be something Severus felt better for doing.

"I apologize for what I said earlier, Professor. I didn't mean it."

"Your mother has gone through a lot for you, Severus. You should be a little more appreciative, and you should be glad you had another chance to live. I do not want to ever again hear you saying you would have rather died. That is not the least bit funny and I refuse to listen to you spout off such ridiculous histrionics." Harry knew his voice and gaze were sharp and he did his best to look menacing. He was probably failing miserably; nevertheless, he was doing his best to show how upset and disappointed he was.

"I am appreciative of what my mother has done for me. I don't know what I would do without her. And I know how fortunate I am. My words were thoughtless. I am glad I had another chance at life." The black eyes were bright, and his chin showed signs of quivering, but there were no signs of tears. Harry wondered how often Severus cried.

"I am glad to hear you say that. You are eleven, which is rather young to be dealing with everything you are, but you are having to deal with it, so I think it is time you and I had a talk. I owe you some information." Harry smiled, trying to prepare himself. It helped when Severus smiled back. This was one of the reasons why he had become a teacher. He had always wanted to help, and now he felt as if he really did help; it was a feeling unlike any other.

A few deep breaths later, Harry began telling Severus about Lily Evans-Potter, with two exceptions: he had no intention of telling him that it had been Severus who had been the one to give Voldemort part of the prophecy, and he refused to say anything about Severus calling Lily a Mudblood in fifth year. Those two things, while important, were not what Severus needed to hear at the moment. What he did need to hear was that the former Severus had had a good heart; he had loved someone, and he had loved her enough to protect her son even though he had not liked him.

It wasn't easy for Harry; he had tried to forget what he had seen in the memories that the older Severus had given him, but nothing that involved Snape and his mother had ever left his mind.

Severus listened intently, grinned a few times, looked sad toward the end, but he never said a word. Harry wished he would. He wanted so badly for Severus to talk to him, to let him in.

"No matter what you think, Severus, the former Severus Snape was a good person. He loved my mother. He protected me. He saved my life on numerous occasions, and he risked his life every time he went to the Death Eater meetings. I only wish I had realized all of this sooner so I could have thanked him. Without his help I would have never been able to defeat Voldemort," Harry said as he watched Severus frown.

"Is that why you are helping me? Because you think you owe it to me?"

Typical Snape attitude: No one would ever help him because they wanted to. "Not all all. I am helping you because you need help and I think I can offer it. But if you would rather me not help you, I won't." Harry acted as if he were about to stand.

"I didn't say I didn't want to talk to you. Do you think your mother loved m—_him_?"

Harry sat back and got comfortable. "I have no idea how my mother felt about Severus Snape, but from what I know about my mother, there is no doubt that she cared very much about him. What I do know is that he loved her with a love that was so deep that it never left him."

"So you are saying I am capable of having a good heart then?"

Harry grinned. "I am."

"So he loved. He also did bad things. What makes you think I am any better than he was? He was once young too and I am sure he didn't always have bad thoughts about wanting to be evil."

Just when Harry thought he was making progress… "He was not evil, Severus, he followed an evil man. But, since you have brought this up, let me confirm something you asked me earlier because you need to understand that there is a big difference in who you are and who the other Severus Snape was. "Yes, Mr. Malfoy was correct when he said your father abused you." Harry hated saying those words, but he noticed that Severus didn't flinch; there was no way he hadn't already come to that conclusion. "You, on the other hand, have been raised in a loving and nurturing environment. I am not saying you are always going to make good choices, but the likelihood that you will want to follow someone as bad as Voldemort is not as high." But the chances were higher than he wanted to think. Harry had known Snape and had seen how passionate he had been. If Severus fell in with the wrong crowd… Harry didn't want to think of the uphill battle Severus was going to face.

"I hope you are right, Professor. Thank you for telling me this. Now may I ask you a question about Ronnie?"

"Y—yes," Harry said after a few seconds' hesitation. He held his breath. He didn't wish to change the subject, but perhaps it was best they did. But did it have to concern Ronnie?

"Did he have a mum?"

"He did. She loved him very much."

"But he didn't live with her?"

"No, he lived with his father." This discussion was entering into territory Harry was uncomfortable with.

"I overheard Professor Binns telling one of the other teachers that Ronnie called you daddy, but that you were not his real daddy… some bloke named Brian was."

Harry could imagine the wheels turning in Severus's mind. "I think perhaps this is a conversation for another time, Severus." The boy nodded, and Harry sighed in relief.

"You miss him very much, don't you, Professor?"

"I do, Severus."


	8. Chapter 8

**Title**: To Live Again: Part VIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,284  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE (Epilogue-What-Epilogue — the epilogue in DH did not happen in this fic)  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!  
**A/N**: The amazing art in this chapter was done by lamenting_quill. I can't even begin to express my thanks to her for this awesome bit of art.

**Chapter Eight**

"Hi, Severus, is this yours?"

Severus turned around and saw Magnolia Steele, the red-headed girl with the curls who had taken to following him around like a puppy, holding his birth announcement. He reached out and grabbed it, confused as to how he could have dropped it.

"Hi, Magnolia."

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere that concerns you," Severus said harshly. Then he tried to backtrack. After his talk with Professor Potter, Severus had decided it might be a good idea to try to be a bit friendlier, but he was finding that it was not easy. "Er, sorry, I'm just not accustomed to other people asking where I am going." But it wasn't any of her business. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone that he was going out for the day.

"Do you think that maybe we could study together tomorrow, in the library?" she asked, smiling at him, her eyelashes fluttering. His rudeness hadn't deterred her in the least.

No was what Severus wanted to say; he didn't want anything to do with her, but he didn't have many friends… actually, he didn't have any. Maybe he should let her in just a little. It couldn't hurt. "Yes, that would be acceptable," said a very uncertain Severus.

"Okay, meet me there at nine."

Severus nodded and watched the girl go ahead of him and walk down the steps onto the grounds of Hogwarts. Maybe they would end up friends.

"Hello, Severus. Ready to go?" Severus gave a small smile as he continued to watch the girl as she neared the lake. "Hi, Professor Potter."

An hour later, Severus called to Professor Potter's friend, who was about to be overtaken by Professor Potter. "Kick it to me, Mr. Weasley, I can score!" A few seconds later, Severus kicked the football into the goal. "Score!" and he jumped up and down, grinning like he had just kicked the winning goal in the World Cup. Three goals later (all of them scored by Severus), Professor Potter, who, along with Mrs. Weasley, had played against Severus and Mr. Weasley, called the game, saying there was no possible way they could catch up. After the adults sat down, Severus kicked around the football on his own and imagined he was that Muggle, David Beckham.

For lunch they had fish and chips, which was Severus's favorite. After eating, Mr. Weasley told Severus stories about when he and Professor Potter had been students. Severus laughed uncontrollably. His mother contributed a few of her own memories of the two boys; it seems that they hadn't used the library to study much at all. Severus was tempted to ask Mr. Weasley what he had thought of the old Severus Snape, but he knew that was not an option, so he kept his mouth shut.

While the others continued to talk, Severus walked over to a small lake and sat on the bank and watched the wind make ripples on the water. It was so peaceful. He wished he could stay out here all day. For the first time in months, he felt at ease. Professor Potter's friends were loads of fun, and Mr. Weasley had taken him flying on his broom.

"Mind if I sit down?"

Severus shook his head. Professor Potter sat beside him, then picked up a blade of grass and began to play with it as Severus returned his gaze to the water.

"Your Mum wanted me to tell you that it's too late to go to Durmstrang this term. If you want to go next term, you can do that."

Severus shook his head. "I don't want to go anymore. I want to stay here."

"I'm happy to hear that. If you do change your mind, don't worry that it would hurt your mother's feelings. She only wants you to be happy, Severus."

Severus nodded and returned to watching the water. He wasn't happy, but he wasn't unhappy, either. If today was any indication, things might begin to improve.

As they were getting ready to leave, about an hour later, Severus felt a chill in the air, and he had a bad feeling. He looked around, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. His mother and Professor Potter were standing by one the trees they had used as part of a goal, talking, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were standing over by a copse of trees, kissing. Severus grinned, wondering if he and the red-headed girl would ever kiss.

As he began to walk towards his mother, someone grabbed him. Severus screamed. Everything went black.

* * *

Harry sat beside Ron in Minerva's office. How had this happened? They had been having such a good time, and Severus had been so happy; it had been just as Harry had hoped.

"I wish I'd never suggested this. I'm sorry, Harry," Ron said, hanging his head.

"It isn't your fault, Ron. I just want to know how this happened. Eileen was supposed to be able to protect Severus," Harry said as Ron raised an eyebrow, "the same as my mother protected me. She told me a few weeks ago. It never occurred to me before, but they could have got some of Snape's blood in the Shrieking Shack, I guess. I just can't figure it out."

The door opened and Hermione walked in, her arm around Severus's mother. Eileen was still crying. Hermione helped her sit down, then took the chair beside Ron.

"Professor McGongall is still at the Ministry trying to see what information she might be able to find out. She said she'd Floo us if she found out anything." She looked at Harry and sighed. It wasn't difficult to see that she was holding back information. He looked at Ron and then motioned with his head towards Eileen and the door. Ron took Eileen out of the room.

"It doesn't look good, Harry. We have no idea who could have taken Severus. It's not like it was eleven years ago. Back then when someone went missing, it was a foregone conclusion that Death Eaters had been involved. We also had spies within the ranks. There has been no Death Eater Activity in over nine years, so we have not had need for spies. All of the Death Eaters who were in what was considered Voldemort's inner-circle are either dead or in Azkaban. I talked to Ron's dad and he agrees that this has to be Death Eater-related, but he is at a loss as to where to begin.

"Percy came in as we were talking; he is already working to find out what happened. He said he'll have set up surveillance on certain wizards and witches within the next three hours. When I asked him to elaborate, he said he would once he had set everything up. I hope that what he is doing will help. Harry, Severus could be anywhere."

"We've got to find him, Hermione. Dumbledore thinks we shouldn't keep this quiet; he said we should plaster Severus's picture everywhere we can. He said that everyone knows who Severus is, and the idea of being the one to find the boy and return him might appeal to people."

Hermione smiled as she took out a piece of parchment, and showed it to Harry.

_A poster of Severus should go here, but this site does not allow images within the fic, so if you want to see it, you will need to go to hp fandom and see it there._

"While I was talking to Percy, Arthur made these for us. Eileen had the picture with her. I am about to go put them up around Hogsmeade and the surrounding areas."

"We've got to find him, Hermione. If anyone asks where I am, tell them I've gone to see Malfoy."


	9. Chapter 9

**Title**: To Live Again: Part IX  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,965  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Nine**

After Harry contacted Arthur and set up a time to meet with him later in the day, he retrieved his cloak and was about to leave when he heard tapping on the window. Why was it that when he wasn't busy, no one seemed to bother him, but the first sign of chaos and everyone seemed to seek him out?

The owl didn't look familiar. Harry's heart sped up. Could it be from the people who had Severus? Probably not, but he had to keep thinking that this was all going to end well, and for that to happen, he needed to be positive. That led him to hope that the owl brought news… good news.

He opened the window, retrieved the rather thick parchment, and immediately opened it, ignoring the screeching owl.

_Harry,_

Brian has asked me to send this to you. I refused, but he said it was of the utmost importance. I don't believe him, but he looked desperate, so I said I'd send it to you. I am so sorry that I'm sending this to you, but if it is important and something you should know… well, I just thought it better I not take any chances. I hope everything is going okay for you. Take care of yourself, Harry.

Alan

Why now? Harry opened the other parchment, but almost immediately, set it down and backed away. He couldn't do this now; he had other things to do. What Brian had to say would have to wait until later. Taking a couple of deep breaths, Harry composed himself and left his room.

* * *

When Malfoy answered the door, it was obvious that he already knew what had happened. He was ashen-faced. Harry didn't feel the least bit happy that Malfoy was in distress.

"Has Percy been here?"

"He has. He said he wasn't going to mess with the esoteric ways with me, that he wanted me to know he thought I was behind this." Malfoy backed up and ushered Harry into the sitting room. Harry sat on one of the sofas, but Malfoy remained standing.

"Are you… behind what happened to Severus?" Harry looked at Malfoy and wondered how it had come to this… again? How was it that Malfoy was again the one Harry was chasing after?

"Not that I expect you to believe me, Potter, but I didn't have anything to do with this."

There was a look of despair on Malfoy's face. Harry wanted to believe him. "Then tell me, Draco. Tell me what you know. Please," Harry pleaded. Malfoy began to shake. "Draco, Severus is missing. If you don't tell us what you know, he might die." Malfoy again maintained his silence. "Is your father behind this? He is, isn't he? Why are you protecting him?"

"Potter, he is in Azkaban. How could he be behind this?"

"Very easily I'd say, and you know that, Malfoy. I am going to take your refusal to answer that question as a yes — that your father is behind this. Listen, Malfoy, and listen closely: I haven't pressed you before, but the game is over now. You're messing with the wrong person. You need to think carefully before you speak again and begin spouting off lies. I will find out what the truth is. Since you have decided to protect him, I'm going to go have a little chat with dear old Lucius and see what I can get out of him."

"No! You can't do that, Potter," Malfoy said, fear seeming to envelop him.

Harry was going to get Malfoy to talk, no matter what he had to do to accomplish that. "Why not?"

"Severus will be killed for sure if you do."

Just as Harry had expected, he had been right. No matter his rashness and stubbornness, he had good intuition. "I think you better start talking, Malfoy, unless you want me to take you in to the Ministry; I'm sure they can find an empty holding-cell for you."

* * *

"So you're telling me that Lucius Malfoy is answering to someone else? I find that hard to believe," Arthur said as he sat down behind his desk.

"That's exactly what I said, but yeah, Malfoy says his father is answering to someone else," Harry said as he looked at one of the posters with Severus's picture on it. "According to Draco, this other person has something over Lucius, something Lucius refuses to tell Draco. Draco told me that his father had known about Severus's condition all along, and he had known that the plan from day one had been to kidnap him when he was old enough to attend Hogwarts. I guess he got scared and told Draco what was about to happen. Draco thinks Lucius told him because he knew Draco would make certain that I found out. Draco says he was too scared to say anything until now because he thought whomever was behind this might have him killed. I don't know that I really believe any of what he said, but I guess it's possible, and it is Malfoy — he seems to always be involved. This entire situation is rather difficult to believe."

In actuality, Harry believed every word of what Malfoy had said, but, as almost everyone else thought the younger Malfoy was someone Harry had always had an unhealthy obsession with, he had learned to downplay anything that had to do with him. He knew he didn't fool Arthur, however.

"I agree. I'll ask you to be careful since we both know what you are capable of."

"I always am," Harry replied.

"We need to begin interviewing anyone and everyone. Eileen told me about the blood magic. Blood magic is impenetrable, but someone managed to get through it. How is that? Even without the blood magic, someone followed Severus and his mother. You know how careful we were about setting up wards; no one could have just happened upon the five of you. We need to speak to anyone who had contact with Severus and Eileen before the three of you left. Could you give me a list of Severus's friends? I'll talk to Eileen this evening."

Harry nodded. "I'll compile a list and owl it to you." Saying it was easier than it was going to be to do, though, because there were no friends. Harry could think of a few year mates that Severus could have spoken to before he had left, but as for as he knew, there had been no real friends.

"If I'm not here, leave it with Percy."

Harry nodded as he pinched his nose. This was a nightmare.

"Harry, we're going to do everything we can to find Severus."

* * *

A loud noise woke Severus. His head hurt and he was cold. "Mum?" No one answered. "Professor Potter?" Severus looked around the room, but it was dark; he could barely make out a few shapes. He was on a bed, and he thought he was probably wearing the same clothes he had worn at the picnic. Where was he? And what had happened? He tried to remember, but couldn't. All he could remember was that he had been by the lake, talking to Professor Potter. Sleepy. He was so sleepy.

When Severus next woke, someone was staring at him. "Who are you?"

"None of your concern, Snape."

"Why am I here?" Severus cringed when the man laughed. He didn't have a happy laugh like his mum or Professor Potter; his laugh was evil.

"Again, none of your concern."

"You're a bad man," Severus said, sticking out his bottom lip.

"Not at all. I just do what I am told is all. Just trying to make a living so me and my family can live."

"Are you going to hurt me?" Severus began to cry. He hated to cry. It showed weakness, and he wasn't weak.

"No, you're safe with me."

"But he's not safe with me. Hello, Snape. It's so nice to finally see you... again."

Severus scooted back as far as he could. This man looked scarier than the first. He was big and had curly red hair.

"Ah, scared of me? No need to be. I have no intention of hurting you. Well, not really. Your mind may be a little hurt, and you might be somewhat different, but well, your mum and Professor Potter will take care of you, so you need not worry. You are happy with your mum, yes?"

Severus refused to speak.

"From what I hear, she has kept you safe. Others have reported to me that you are a happy child. Is this correct?"

Again, Severus refused to speak.

"It's amazing what a happy childhood will do for a person. You're no where near the same person you were when you were eleven the first time. That boy was always depressed and frowning. It would be a shame for all of your mother's hard work to be lost, wouldn't you say?"

A wand was pointed at him. Severus blocked his face with his hands. "Leave me alone! Don't hurt me!"

"Cabbot, hand me the potion."

Severus looked through his fingers and saw the man who had entered first hand a vial of something to the meaner man. This wasn't good. The mean man approached him.

"Drink this, Snape."

When he refused to take it, the mean man motioned for the other man to join him and called out several other names. A few seconds later, an even bigger man than the mean man entered. Severus began to cry harder. These mean men were going to hurt him. He heard someone else speaking as he entered the room. He was saying something about a poster and how they had to hurry.

"So they are looking for him. No surprise there. By the time they find him, he'll no longer be the little boy they remember."

"You pry his hands from his face, I'll open his mouth, and Cabbot will give Snape the potion. The others can hold him down."

Two other men entered the room and joined the others around Severus. "No!!!!! No!!!!! Help!!!!!!!!!!!" Severus screamed as loud as he could.

"You better shut your mouth if you know what is good for you, Snape. Okay, let's do this."

Severus began kicking and screaming. Tears poured from his eyes as his fingers were pried from his face, as his nose was pinched, and as his mouth was opened. Then he couldn't move; his legs were being held by two men, and he couldn't move his arms because they were pinned down as well. He fought as much as he could as the potion vial got closer, but he couldn't stop it from being poured into his mouth. He tried not to swallow, but they made him. It was awful.

Then it was over. Everyone released him and left the room. He began to scream. He cried so much he began to make himself choke. What had they done to him?

Severus cried himself to sleep.

He woke up to shouting.

"It didn't work! Nothing! You said it was ready! You said there was no possible way this could fail! Look at him! He is still the same! He is supposed to be like he was that night! I can't believe you did this. We haven't had him that long and already they're out there looking for him. You know they'll find him. They can't find this place! You have endangered us all now."

Severus watched as the man who was yelling pointed his wand at the man across from him and shouted the Killing Curse. He wanted to scream, but didn't want to draw any more attention to himself. The man turned towards him.

"Sorry, kid, but they can't ever know what happened. Obliviate."


	10. Chapter 10

**Title**: To Live Again: Part X  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,665  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Ten**

Harry took a seat at the back of the room and acknowledged the two Aurors who were seated next to him, and had to stifle a snort as Dumbledore, who had a portrait located by Arthur's desk, sighed and shook his head. Yes, Harry knew he was late, but at least Arthur hadn't begun speaking yet. As Ron's dad caught his eye, Harry grinned; this was going to be Arthur's first major test as the newly elected Minister For Magic.

Arthur cleared his throat. Everyone (ten Aurors, three Unspeakables, two senior members of the Wizengamot, along with McGongall and Dumbledore) ceased talking with one another and turned their attention to the front of the room.

"I've received information that there has been some unusual activity in Dublin over the past month that _could_ be related to young Mr. Snape's disappearance. A lab was broken into and some rare ingredients were taken. I have consulted with Horace Slughorn and he has a suspicion that, because of the nature of the particular ingredients that were stolen, they were taken in order to create an age-regeneration potion. There is a possibility this is not the case, but, if it is, I don't need to tell any of you that this is very serious. This would mean that Severus Snape's reversion to an infant eleven years ago was no accident." Arthur looked at Harry. Harry gave a nod. "Percy Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt have gone to Dublin to see what they can find, and they have taken a team of some of our finest Aurors and researchers with them. If there is anything to find, we will. We will get Severus Snape back."

* * *

As he stepped out of the shower, Harry stretched. The hot water had felt wonderful as it had soothed his aching body. He had barely got three hours sleep, and even that sleep had been filled with bad dreams. Retrieving a towel, he dried off and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked tired. He sighed and walked to his bedroom to get his clothes. It was cold out so he found a jumper, then he retrieved a pair of jeans from the floor that needed to be washed, and pulled them on. After all of this was over he would get a house-elf to come down to his rooms and clean them properly.

He was about to leave when he decided he might need some extra protection from the wind. As he donned the faded blue cloak that Hermione had got for him a few years earlier, his eyes fell upon something on the table by the window: Brian's letter. Harry looked at it for a few seconds, then went and picked it up. It was too early in the morning to read this, but he guessed he needed to get it over with.

_Harry,_

Are you in any trouble? Some rough-looking people came round asking questions the other day. They asked me how you had been with my son: If he liked you, if you treated him well, if the two of you got along, and other similar questions. What is going on? I told them I'd rather not talk to anyone about my son. They left, but I'm guessing they'll be back. Why are they asking questions about you and Ronnie? Let me know.

While I am writing you, there are a few things I need to say. I am sorry how things ended with us, Harry. There is not a day that goes by that I don't wonder how you are, or miss you. Sometimes I think I made a huge mistake by letting you go, but at the time it was what I needed to do. I know what I did to you and Ronnie was wrong. He never asked for you, but I know he wanted you there with him. I was selfish; I made his last months harder for him than they should have been. You have no idea how that haunts me. I apologize, Harry. Nothing I can say will make up for how horrible I was to you about all of this, and I don't expect that you'll ever want to speak to me or see me again, but please know that, other than Ronnie, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Please be happy, Harry. I wish you everything good. You deserve only the best.

Brian

Minutes passed as Harry stood by the window staring at the letter. Leaving Brian had been the hardest thing Harry had ever done, and it had taken months for him to be able to function halfway normally. He had mourned for Ronnie even before the boy had died. At the funeral, Harry had kept it together for Ronnie; he hadn't wanted to detract from his day, but when he had arrived home, he had cried for the little boy who had not quite been his, yet had been his.

Now, when he was finally emerging from that dark time in his life, Harry was facing another rough patch with Severus. That being the case, this letter was the last thing Harry needed. He shook his head.

"Damn you, Brian."

He sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. He couldn't cry, but he wanted to. This was all too much for him to deal with, but he knew it really wasn't. As Dumbledore had said, Harry was an adult now; he was no longer a little boy who needed someone else to solve his problems for him.

First things first. Harry had to concentrate on what was important, and that was Severus. Once he was found, then Harry could think about what Brian had said.

So Severus…

Why had someone kidnapped him? Ever since Harry had heard mention of age-regeneration, he had felt sick to his stomach. How could anyone even think about doing something so horrible to a child? They couldn't. They just couldn't.

But Harry knew they could, and would. Severus could be anywhere, and no telling what could have been done to him. If Death Eaters had taken Severus, there was very little anyone could do. Harry understood that. He just didn't want to believe it.

Lucius had refused to speak. Harry wanted to give him Veritaserum, but since Malfoy was a prisoner, and since there was absolutely nothing to connect him with Severus Snape's disappearance, the use of Veritaserum in this situation had to be approved by the Ministry, which took time — time that they didn't have. Nevertheless, Arthur was working on getting approval.

"Harry? Are you there?"

Harry reluctantly stood and walked into his sitting room. The Headmistress's head hovered amid the flames. "Hi, Minerva. Any news?"

"They found him."

They found him. It was almost too good to be true. He hadn't been gone that long. But they found him. They had found him! Harry grinned, but that turned into a frown.

"Is he—"

"Come to my office," Minerva said before disappearing.

His shoes. Where were his shoes? "Accio Shoes." Harry put on his shoes and grabbed a handful of Floo Powder before stepping into the fire. A few seconds later he stumbled out into Hermione's arms.

"Thanks. Where is he?" His heart was racing. Hermione didn't say anything. "Tell me, where is he?"

"He's with Percy."

Harry was about to ask where when Percy entered the room holding Severus. "Is he okay?" Harry asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"He seems okay, just asleep, but Poppy wants to examine him. We are about to take him now."

"I'll take him." Harry approached Percy and looked at Severus. He had been so scared. "Where is Eileen?"

Ron is with her and will bring her to the hospital wing."

Harry carefully took Severus in his arms and moved a strand of hair away from the pale face. "Where did you find him?" he whispered.

"In an alleyway near Manchester; he had a blanket over his body, and there didn't seem to be any visible wounds on him."

"Are you going to be here for a while? I need to talk to you about Malfoy."

"I have a meeting in half an hour, so I have to get back. Dad wants to see you if you can get away. He has no other meetings scheduled for today, so he should be in his office until five."

Harry nodded. "Do you think they did anything to him?" It was a stupid question. Of course they had done something to him. "I mean, they wouldn't have let him go so soon otherwise… right?"

"Yeah, I hate to say it, but I'm fairly certain they did something to him. We'll just have to watch him and see what happens. Harry, you need to get some rest. Dad and Mum are really worried about you."

"I'll be fine. Tell your dad I'll be at the Ministry as soon as I know that Severus'll be okay."

A few minutes later, Harry was seated in the hospital wing, watching Poppy examine Severus, who was still asleep. Eileen was talking to Hermione in the doorway, and Ron was visiting with Minerva. Poppy had said very little, and Harry was beginning to get nervous. When she pulled up the covers over Severus's bare chest, she called Eileen over. Harry took a few deep breaths.

"The good news is Severus was not harmed physically. There is slight bruising on his left wrist; it looks like fingers, so perhaps he was being held down, which brings us to the not so good news. There is evidence that he was given a few different potions, including the potion we were all so concerned about. It is very odd though because it appears as though it was given to him sometime yesterday. It should have worked within an hour. Tomorrow, after he has got a good night's sleep, I want to run some other tests on him to see why it has not worked."


	11. Chapter 11

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,540  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Eleven**

"_She is dead, Severus."_

"She can't be. You're wrong, Peter." Severus didn't believe it. No, the Dark Lord had said he'd spare her life.

"I followed our Master; I assure you, she is dead. But something happened to the Dark Lord as well. He is—"

"Take me to her."

"I can't."

"You can and you will."

Within a few minutes, Severus was kneeling before Lily's body, shaking his head. She couldn't be dead. How could she be dead? He had said he'd spare her life. When he heard crying, he turned his head and saw a baby — Harry — the reason Lily was dead.

"It's all your fault. You killed my Lily…"

"Look at me." Severus could feel himself dying. It made sense that Potter, the one person he loathed more than any other, would have to witness his death. Those green eyes, Lily's, stared at him.

He watched as the boy left, and could feel his body getting weaker. Every part of him was on fire. Why wasn't the potion he had taken working? It hurt so badly.

The small body of Severus Snape tossed and turned, and he whimpered in his sleep.

* * *

"They have declined our request to use Veritaserum on Lucius Malfoy," Arthur said, opening the door to his office. "The guards say that he has been delusional over the past two years, and anything he has said to anyone, including his son, can't be believed."

Harry took a seat across from Arthur's desk. "But Draco told me his father knew Snape would be kidnapped! How is that being delusional when he _was_ kidnapped? Bunch of incompetents is what they are. So what are we supposed to do? Just wait for something else to happen?" Harry asked, exasperatedly, his voice rising exponentially with each word. "You can override them; you're the Minister for Magic. You can make them give him Veritaserum."

"I'm not going to do that, Harry."

"Why not? You have to know he is behind this! Why would you allow this to go on? I don't understand." Harry took a few deep breaths. Arthur looked at him with the same look he had used in second year when he and Ron had used the Ford Anglia to get to Hogwarts. It hadn't made Harry feel good then, and it was no different now.

"I'm going to wait for you to calm down, Harry, then I'll explain."

It was rare that Arthur used a stern voice with Harry, but on the occasions that he had, it had been warranted, and Harry knew this time was no different. Ron's dad was one of the easiest-going people he knew, but he also knew that with him having raised six sons, he was accustomed to dealing with tempers. Harry nodded, mollified.

Arthur asked him what Veritaserum did. After Harry responded, Arthur told him that very little happened in one part of Azkaban that didn't reach the other parts. He then told Harry that giving Lucius Veritaserum could jeopardize his life, and that it might eliminate the one hope anyone had of getting any information about what was going on. Arthur then told Harry that they were keeping a close eye on Lucius.

Harry had never thought of any of this.

When he left, he felt much better than he'd felt when he arrived, but he was still uneasy. He was convinced that Severus was going to return to how he had been that night. He had yet to wake up; Poppy had said she would Floo Arthur's office if he did awaken.

As Harry made his way through the Atrium, he glanced around him. So much had changed since that night in fifth year: the entire Ministry had been remodeled, yet the feeling Harry had experienced as he had watched his godfather die, and as he had been possessed by Voldemort, would never change. He felt uncomfortable. He began walking quicker.

* * *

As Eileen left the room to go get some rest, Harry sat in the chair beside Severus's bed and began marking papers; Minerva had arranged for someone else to take his lessons for the day, but tomorrow he would return to his teaching duties.

He looked at the pale figure of Severus. It was still a bit shocking to look at the young boy and know that he had once been the adult Severus Snape, someone whom Harry had never spared a good thought for.

Now, it was a completely different story. Harry had come to care for the young boy, and sometimes, he wondered why. They hadn't spent that much time together; even with Severus living in the same rooms as Harry, they rarely saw one another during the day, and it wasn't as if Severus depended on Harry for anything. Eileen was his mother, and she saw to all of his needs.

Then why did Harry feel responsible for him? He helped Severus occasionally with Defense Against the Dark Arts, they ate breakfast together when they didn't go down to the Great Hall, and he allowed Severus to help him make simple potions. That was about the extent of their contact with each other.

The young Severus looked so tiny and helpless as he slept. Harry's memories took him back a year to another hospital. Harry had sat next to Ronnie's bed, reading to him, the little boy holding his hand, and squeezing it when the pain got too bad. Those moments had been especially rough for Harry, and he had barely been able to hold his emotions in check, but he had.

* * *

Someone was talking. Where was he? Had he fallen asleep? Severus tried to open his eyes, but found that to not be as easy as it should have been. What was wrong? Where was he? His bed was not this soft, or comfortable. He tried again to open his eyes, and this time succeeded. He saw a man with green eyes seated near him. Green eyes. He knew those eyes. But they didn't look right on the man who was looking at him. Severus looked around and sighed.

"What happened?" he asked, his throat dry. He watched the man with the green eyes grin.

"Hi, Severus. How do you feel?"

"Thirsty." He took the offered goblet of water. "My head hurts. What happened?"

Before he could receive an answer, a lady walked over to the bed and began poking and prodding him. She gave him two potions, asked a few questions, then helped him into a hospital robe before putting out the light by his bed.

"Shut your eyes and try to sleep, Severus. The potion will help your head."

"Okay. What is your name?"

* * *

"Harry, a word?"

Harry joined Poppy in her office. "How is he?"

"He was not very responsive, so next time he wakes, I'll do a more in-depth examination, but I did find out that the regeneration potion has worked its way out of his system; there had to have been an ingredient missing, or it was made incorrectly. Otherwise, it wouldn't have left his system."

"So he's going to be okay?" Harry asked, expectant of a positive answer, but that thought quickly dissipated at the look on Poppy's face.

"He didn't know who I was, Harry, and he didn't know who you were. He did know his name, however, so that is encourging. I am hopeful the memory-loss is a result of the potions that have yet to work their way out of his system, and not because of anything else. He is going to be sleeping quite a bit over the next few days; that should help… if it is because of the potions."

Harry scratched the back of his head. Had they performed a Memory Charm on Severus? There were so many different forms. If Death Eaters had performed one on Severus, the likelihood of them using the least powerful one was not high. What if Severus had no memories?

"So we just watch and wait? Forever? Anything could happen to him at anytime? He could have no memories?"

"Harry, I am not telling you this to upset you. I am telling you this because you need to help him. I am telling you this because I cannot tell his mother. Eileen Snape has been through more than her fair share of sorrow. This might not be the right thing to do, but I am not going to tell her that there could still be something wrong with her son, at least not until we know more. I need you to be on the lookout for changes. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Was this really happening?

Harry returned to the back room where Severus was, and resumed his marking. Eileen joined him a few minutes later; she looked like she hadn't slept in over a day. She sat on the bed beside Severus and took one of his hands in hers.

"Poppy told me Severus woke up for a few minutes. How is he?"

"He's fine, just sleeping. Poppy said he might sleep a while."

"I can't lose him again, Harry."

Harry watched as Severus's mother pushed some of her son's hair out of his face. What if Severus had no memory? What if he changed? How would his mother react?


	12. Chapter 12

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,058  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twelve**

"_We can't be friends anymore, Severus. You've made your choice. Now I am making mine."_

"But Lily—"

"No, Severus. No more. I am tired of you saying you'll change; you'll never change."

"I overheard a prophecy, Master. I think you'd like to hear what it says."

"Please, Severus."

"Avada Kedavra."

Severus sat up and looked around, his breath speeding up. Why was he having these dreams? Each time he'd slept, he had had them, and none of them had been good dreams. They were filled with screams and scary-looking people, and he had watched an adult, who looked like him, kill someone.

He couldn't remember any names from his dreams, but he hadn't met many people in his life, so why would be dreaming about these people? And who was the person who looked like him?

"I see you're awake. How are you feeling?" asked the lady who was always poking him.

"My head hurts."

"I need to examine you, but after I finish I will give you a potion for your head. You haven't remembered who I am, have you?"

"No."

"My name is Madam Pomfrey. I am the matron at Hogwarts."

That name didn't sound familiar to Severus. "Who is that man who was in here earlier? The man with the green eyes."

"That would be one of your teachers, Professor Potter."

"What does he teach?"

"Potions."

There was something about that word — _potions_ — why did it sound so familiar? "I heard a lady's voice talking to Professor Potter earlier. Was that you?"

"No, that was your mother. She left a few minutes ago, but she was in here with you all night. She'll be back in an hour; she went to her rooms."

"Her rooms? She lives here?"

"Yes. She works in the library."

"Oh. Why was I kidnapped? I heard the man say they would make certain that no one else could get me again."

"I think that is a conversation you should have with your mother, not me. Let me examine you, then I'll Floo her and tell her you need to talk to her."

Severus nodded. Madam Pomfrey did a body scan on him. When she finished, she gave him a potion.

"You seem to be doing much better today, so I am going to allow you to leave the hospital wing this afternoon as long as you promise me to rest for the next few days."

Severus nodded.

"I imagine you'll most likely want to have a bath or shower before you go. Would you rather take one now, or wait until after you visit with your mother?"

"I'll have a shower now."

Five minutes later, Severus stood underneath the warm water and ran his fingers through his hair as the water ran down his face and body. He looked down at his rather lanky figure: his skin was creamy white. Hadn't he had a few scars? He examined every part of his body that he could, but found nothing, other than a bruise on one of his wrists, and a little bit of hair that marred his skin. He washed himself, then grabbed a bottle of shampoo and lathered his hair.

_Greasy git._ _I bet he never washes his hair._

What was that?

_Snivellus_

Were these memories?

_Who wants to see Snivellus's pants?_

_Mudblood_.

A sick feeling enveloped Severus and he had to lean against the wall of the shower. He had wanted his memories to return, but now he wasn't at all certain that was a good idea. These dreams, or memories, seemed so familiar, but how could they be? All of these people were much older than Severus. He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. As he picked up the towel to dry off, he caught his reflection in the mirror, and frowned. He donned a clean robe and stared at his hair, which was dripping in his face. Hadn't it been longer? It looked too short. Who was he? Had he been happy? He was beginning to think not.

Severus left the bathroom and climbed back into bed. Madam Pomfrey came in a few minutes later, smiling.

"It appears as though you have an admirer."

Severus took the card she handed him. On the front was a picture of a pretty flower. Severus opened the card and read it:

_Severus,_

I hope you are not hurt too badly. When you didn't come to the library, Saturday, I got worried, then I found out what happened. I am so glad they found you before anything could happen. I bet you were so scared. When you get better I will try to come see you.

Magnolia

Severus stared at the card. Who was Magnolia? Was she his girlfriend? She seemed nice. Severus sighed. Why couldn't he remember anything? He put the card underneath his pillow.

A few minutes later, his mother entered the room, and her face broke out into a huge smile.

"Oh, my son, it is so good to see you awake. You are looking much better."

Severus stared at his mother, but didn't say anything. She came and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Madam Pomfrey says that you can get out of here today. I see you had a shower. Would you like me to brush your hair? When you were younger you would let me brush it. You have the most beautiful hair."

_Greasy Git_

Severus nodded and sat staring straight ahead as his mother sat behind him and brushed his hair. It hurt a little when she had to untangle his wet hair, but mostly it felt nice.

Two hours later, Severus was seated in Professor Potter's sitting room, looking at a book. His mother was talking to Professor Potter in the other room. They were no doubt talking about him.

Severus stood and walked to the bookshelf. Professor Potter had told him he could read anything he wanted to. Most of the books were about potions, but there were various other books as well. Severus pulled one off the bottom shelf. He opened it and froze: the girl waving at him — a feeling of overwhelming sadness overtook Severus — she had been the girl in his dream who had told him they could no longer be friends, and she was the one who that mean man had killed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 2,471  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Checkmate. I thought you said you could play chess, Professor."

"I never said I was good," Harry replied, none too happy that an eleven-year-old had beat him, but he knew that he was a bad chess player — an eight-year-old Severus probably could have beaten him. "Okay, time for you to do your homework. You have an hour before Mr. Weasley will be here." Harry sent the chess set to the bookshelf and watched as Severus took out a sheaf of parchment. "I see you are going to attempt the dreaded Astronomy assignment; I thought you were going to work on that tomorrow with Magnolia."

"I was, but she said her father is coming to visit her, so she can't meet me. After he leaves, do you think it would be okay if she and I went down to the lake? She doesn't believe that the Giant Squid will take food from my hand."

"You know you aren't supposed to feed it, Severus; the food you students feed it isn't good for it."

"But everyone does it, why—yes, sir," Severus amended. "So can we go, if we don't feed the Giant Squid?"

"You'll have to ask your mother."

"She'll say no; she thinks I'll be kidnapped again."

"You can't blame her for being concerned about your safety, Severus. I'd think you would understand. It hasn't even been a month since you were kidnapped and we still don't know why. Until we find out who did this, you can bet that your mother, and yes, all of us, are going to keep a closer eye on you."

Once Severus was busy writing, Harry found a book and sat down to read until Arthur arrived, but his mind wasn't on reading — it was on Severus. Harry looked over his shoulder at the table and saw Severus writing — it was so good to see him doing something normal.

It had only been seven days since Severus's memories had begun to return. He couldn't remember anything about the day he was kidnapped, but he seemed to remember everything else, even if it did take him a few minutes to think about what he had been asked, and his memories of the other Severus had, for all intents and purposes, gone away (Harry knew they hadn't gone far, and that they would more than likely return).

Even with his improving memory, Severus still showed signs of the potions that he had been given, and he was more withdrawn than he had been before, which meant he wanted absolutely nothing to do with other students… with one exception: the second year Slytherin, Magnolia Steele.

Harry wasn't certain what to think about her, but he couldn't deny that the girl seemed to be the only one, other than him and Eileen, who could get Severus to talk. Harry couldn't recall ever seeing her around Severus before the kidnapping, but he was hesitant to question why Severus would want to spend so much time with her now; the last thing anyone needed to do was to question Severus about his friends, because that might make him withdraw more, if that were possible.

Perhaps Arthur could help; he was going to bring pictures of former Death Eaters who had been seen around Dublin over the past month to show Severus, in the hope that Severus might recognize the person who had taken him.

This worried Harry: what if seeing Death Eaters, people whom Severus had once known and associated with, conjured the wrong memories? Arthur had assured him that he only had a handful of pictures, and that if Severus didn't recognize them immediately, he would leave. Severus was, after all, the only person who could identify who had taken him, so Eileen had reluctantly agreed to this.

When the Floo lit up, Harry set down the book he hadn't read one word of, and stood. Severus had already put his parchment and quill away.

"Hello, Harry and Severus. Harry, might I have a word before we begin?"

Did he have any news? Harry couldn't tell from his expression. "Eileen should be here before we begin with Severus; she'll be here soon. Let's go in the kitchen. Tea?" Harry entered the kitchen and began preparing the tea as Arthur took a seat at the table.

"I found out why there have been people asking Brian questions about you and his son."

Harry thought he noted amusement in Arthur's voice. He hadn't given much thought to why anyone had been asking Brian questions, so he was glad Arthur had. "And?"

"You're not going to believe this, but apparently, Lucius Malfoy had someone look into what you have been up to during the past eleven years."

"He what?" Harry stopped what he was doing and turned so he faced Arthur. Harry knew what he'd heard, but…

"Of course, when my men came to me with this, I went straight to Lucius and demanded to know why he had done this."

There was more amusement in Ron's father's voice, but now a grin accompanied it. Harry brought two cups of tea to the table and sat down, his curiosity burning. "Do I even want to know?"

"I think you do. It seems that he was concerned for Severus's well-being. When he heard you were the one Severus would be living with, he didn't like it. He began an extensive background check on you. _You passed_."

Laugh or be angry — Harry didn't know which he should do. "Seriously? He had me checked out? How do you know he's telling you the truth? Remember, he is delusional — the Ministry's words, not mine — he could be the one who had Severus kidnapped, and I don't think his motive would have been because I wasn't fit to care for Severus."

"Yes, well, your thoughts mirror mine and Kingsley's when we first heard this, but Lucius named me two families he had found to take Severus in if he decided you were not up to the task of caring for him. I had to laugh when he mentioned that, thinking he thought he was going to take Severus away from Eileen. I contacted the families and they confirmed what Lucius told me, and said that Lucius contacted them a few weeks ago and told them there would be no need for their services as the boy would remain in Mr. Potter's care. Harry, If Lucius had been behind the kidnapping, I doubt we'd have ever seen Severus again."

There was no denying that. If it were anyone other than Lucius Malfoy who had done this, Harry would have been upset with Arthur for believing such a tale, but Harry knew that if anyone would ever protect Severus, young or old, it would be Lucius. Harry knew that Arthur was aware of this fact as well. "You're going to keep an eye on him, though, right? He can still give us information regarding what happened to Severus eleven years ago, and according to Draco, he knows who kidnapped Severus."

"Believe me, there are several eyes on him, Harry. I just wanted to tell you that you probably don't need to worry about this thing with Brian being asked questions."

"Thanks for telling me. I'll have to let Brian know not to worry." As completely ludicrous as it was, it made Harry feel good that someone, even Lucius Malfoy, a person he had no love loss for, a person who would spend the rest of his life in Azkaban, had cared enough for Severus to make certain that he was being taken care of properly.

When they entered the sitting room, Eileen and Severus were seated on the sofa talking. Severus looked happy. Harry smiled.

"Hello, Eileen. Severus, do you mind if I show you a few pictures?"

"No, sir. That would be fine."

Arthur sat down across from Severus and Eileen. Harry sat by the fire, nervous about what might happen.

Fifteen minutes later, Arthur left without knowing anything more than when he had entered. After the Floo returned to normal, Harry allowed himself to relax.

"I'm sorry I can't remember anything about that day, Professor Potter."

"Don't worry about that, Severus. I'm just happy you're okay, and that your memories have returned."

* * *

"He thinks I can help him, Minerva, but I don't think I can. You don't know what it's been like these past few weeks — what it was like when he had no clue who I was, or where he was, and when he had those memories about his past. He is eleven years old, Minerva. He can't deal with knowing he killed someone. I am surprised he's doing as well as he is. I've had no idea what to say to him, or how to help him. I wasn't qualified to help him at the beginning of term, and these past few weeks have proven that." Harry took a sip of his tea and noticed that Minerva was giving him that motherly look she was known to give from time to time.

"You do yourself an injustice, Harry. You are doing a fine job with Severus, and I don't think you want him to be in anyone else's care, no matter what you say. I have been so very proud of how you have dealt with his lost memories, as well as his recovered ones from the past. I know it hasn't been easy; remember, you have not been the only one to help Severus and to have to deal with the unknown. Eileen has commented to me on several occasions how much she appreciates your help with Severus. We both know you are more than capable of the task that you have been given. I think you know that as well, but, as per your usual, when things look bleakest, you begin to doubt yourself. Not everything in life is going to be a task you feel up to; we can't all go traipsing around hunting Horcruxes and Dark Lords all the time."

Normally, Harry would have been offended by such a remark, but the look on Minerva's face showed that what had been said was meant to be humorous. He nodded.

"Let me tell you a story, Harry."

"With all due respect, Minerva, I'm not in the mood for a story tonight," Harry said, setting down his tea as he caught a glimpse of a sleeping Dumbledore.

"Indulge an old woman, Harry."

A nod was Harry's only response.

"Eighteen years ago, this little boy entered Hogwarts, only he was not just any normal boy: he was Harry Potter, the boy who lived. His Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, had been preparing for the boy's arrival and had settled on a plan of action that would get the boy through his years at Hogwarts. Only, that plan soon changed once the Headmaster got to know the boy. You see, our Headmaster, he had a heart, and he began to care for that little boy. He cared so much that he neglected to tell him many important things. He withheld this information because it would have caused the boy more worry. He made many choices over the years that many people questioned, but his heart was always in the right place. And do you know what? He got that little boy through his years at Hogwarts."

Harry stood and walked to the window and watched a couple of owls return to the castle. "It's not near the same, Minerva. There is nothing that I can guide Severus with. I'm not Dumbledore."

"No, you are Harry Potter, and I expect you to go through with what you began in September. Severus is not an object to be passed around. You decided to help him. If you knew how many times Albus talked to me about this very thing, I think you would be surprised. He wanted to cease being the one to mentor you; he didn't think it was going to work. I made him realize that you deserved him to finish what he had started. So does Severus, Harry."

"But—"

"Do you know that I almost chose Derrington to be Gryffindor Head of House instead of you?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "You probably should have."

"With that attitude, I'd agree, but would you like me to tell you why I chose you?"

Harry didn't think he had much of a choice. "You're going to tell me whether I want to hear it or not."

"These children, Harry, most of them have parents who witnessed the last war. They have grown up hearing how horrible it was. These kids are in a peaceful time right now, but they know that probably won't last forever. When I had to make my decision regarding a Head of House, Derrington, on parchment, seemed the logical choice. He possessed everything a Head of House should. I'll not go over those qualities because I know you are aware of them. Most people would have looked no further, but I did. I knew that these students needed someone whom they could look at and see and know that there is life after war — a normal life. You, who so many have fawned over, chose not to go off and travel and spend your money seeing the world. You chose to remain close to where you grew up, and when I asked you to, you didn't hesitate to return here to teach.

"I watched you, and I saw the joy in your eyes each day as you talked to your students, even those days when I knew things had not gone so well. I witnessed you reassuring them, and I looked on proudly five years ago when all of your fifth years got OWLs. I also remember having such pride when you decided to hold lessons at the weekends for students who needed extra help.

"Some might have questioned my decision to appoint you Head of Gryffindor, but I have never regretted that decision. You might have forgotten, but there was a Head of House not so long ago who most people frowned upon. Albus Dumbledore gave him a chance and, no matter your feelings about the former Potions master, he was good for his Slytherins. They all looked up to him, and he adored them… in his way.

"Harry, you have to know that you are more than qualified to help Severus. He isn't your Potions master. He is a little boy who needs help."

What was Harry supposed to say? That was a lot to digest, and he was never going to win this. "So what you're saying is that I need to buck up and get on with it."

"I couldn't have said it better, myself, Harry."


	14. Chapter 14

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XIV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,096  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fourteen**

Severus walked out into the sitting room. His dreams and memories hadn't been filled with haunting images as much as they had been a few weeks earlier, but they still occurred. He had had one the previous night and didn't want to have another, so he was making himself stay awake. The dreams, once only faces and voices, were no longer filled with strangers; Severus now knew the old man was the former Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, and that the girl with the green eyes and red hair, was Lily Potter. And while he was not certain, he was fairly sure that the boy he was chasing was Professor Potter when he had been a student at Hogwarts.

Did these memories mean anything? Severus knew he had been given an age-regeneration potion when he was kidnapped. Would he turn back into an older man? Severus didn't even want to think about that being a possibility, but it was one. He might go to sleep and wake up as an adult; that scared him even more than going to sleep and having the dreams about him doing bad things to people he cared about.

It was late, but Professor Potter was still up, marking papers.

"Professor Potter?" Severus stood by the mantel and pushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. He was so tired, but those dreams and thoughts about him turning into a man scared him, and Mr. Weasley showing him those pictures of former Death Eaters hadn't helped.

"Severus? What are you doing up at this late hour? You should be asleep; tomorrow is going to be a busy day."

"I've been having those bad dreams again, the ones that could be memories from my other life. Am I going to turn back into him?"

"Come over here and sit down, and we'll talk about it, okay?"

Severus sat down beside Professor Potter and curled his feet underneath him as he pillowed his head on the arm of the sofa.

"Your mother says you won't tell her about these dreams. You know that we can't help you if you don't let us know what you are dreaming about, Severus. I thought they had stopped; why didn't you tell me you were having them again?"

"I didn't want to worry you."

"If you don't tell us what is going on, we can't help you."

"I know, Professor, but I'm scared. If these are my memories, that means I did some bad things to people I cared about, and then maybe I'll become a man again since they gave me that potion. I don't want to become him again. How could he have hurt those people?" Severus watched as Professor Potter put an O at the top of one of the papers. He then set the stack aside and turned his attention to Severus.

"Did you have some dreams about my mother, and possibly Headmaster Dumbledore, Severus?"

Severus nodded. "I saw her in one of your photo albums the day I got out of hospital wing; that's how I knew the girl in my dreams was your mother. You told me I loved her, so how could I have called her a Mudblood and how could I have caused her to die? And how could I have killed a man I respected? You didn't tell me that I did those things." Professor Potter summoned a pillow from his room, and Severus lifted his head as it settled where his hands had been previously. When he was once again lying down, he closed his eyes and felt a blanket cover him.

"You are right about that, Severus. Sometimes we keep things from people we care about so as not to upset them. Can I tell you a story?"

Severus nodded.

"Two years ago, a little boy whom I loved very much was diagnosed with Leukemia. He was nine years old, and was full of life. One day, not too long after we found out this awful news, he was in hospital and asked me if he was going to die. There was hope that he would live, of course, but we knew the chances of that happening were low. I knew this, but do you know what I told him? I said he was going to grow up to be just like me because he had always said he wanted to be me when he was older. I don't know what a nine-year-old child processes about these things, so I don't know if he knew I was trying to make him feel better, or if he thought I was telling him the truth, but what I do know is that Ronnie stopped crying and hugged me, telling me that everything would be okay. Severus, we all care for you so much, and we don't want you to worry about things that you can't do anything about. If we have kept things from you, it is because we want you to live as happy a life as possible. Can you understand that?"

"I think so, but please be honest with me from now on; I need to know what is happening."

"We will, Severus."

"I wish I had known Ronnie."

"Me too, Severus; the two of you would have been the best of friends, I'm sure."

"I'm sorry he died, Professor Potter. I know you loved him."

"That I did, Severus, very much."

"So sleepy," Severus murmered.

"Go to sleep. You're safe, Severus."

* * *

Harry lifted the sleeping boy into his arms and carried him into his bedroom. He smiled when he saw a Quidditch book open on the bed. It was good that Severus was taking an interest in something other than his past.

Once Severus was under the covers, Harry leant over and placed a kiss on the boy's forehead. He hoped what he had said would help Severus. They hadn't discussed the possibility of Severus returning to an adult Severus, and Harry wasn't certain that would be a good idea to do at any time. There was almost no good way to put a positive spin on that improbable but possible occurrence.

After he finished marking papers, Harry checked on Severus, then decided to have a shower. Talking about Ronnie had brought up so many memories, and Harry was having a difficult time dealing with them. Like Severus, Harry knew that some memories were better left alone. But he didn't regret telling Severus what he had. Ronnie had been such a special little boy, and Harry wanted to keep his memory alive. If he could help Severus by telling him about Ronnie, he would.


	15. Chapter 15

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,582  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifteen**

It was Hogsmeade/Quidditch weekend, so all of the third years and older were leaving for the day; they looked excited. Severus wished he could go. He sat on the bench in the entrance hall and imagined that he was a third year who was waiting for his girlfriend so they could walk together. Maybe when he really was a third year, he and Magnolia would walk to Hogsmeade together.

A few of the students gave him odd looks, but no one said anything; no doubt they had been told to leave him alone. Why was he so different? He wanted to be like everyone else. But he wasn't anyone else; he was him, someone who had been a man eleven years earlier: a mean man.

"Hi, Severus. This is my dad."

Severus turned to see Magnolia standing before him with her dad, a large man with red curly hair. Severus's eyes widened. The man looked like he would be mean.

"Are you okay, Severus?"

"Huh?"

"You don't look so good; maybe you need to go lie down. Since my dad is here, I can go into Hogsmeade with him. We are going to get some ice-cream, and I wanted to see if you wanted to go with us."

"My mum won't let me go. I'll see you later, when you get back." Part of Severus was sad he couldn't go, but he wasn't too certain he would want to go anywhere with Magnolia's dad.

"Okay, bye, Severus."

Magnolia and her father exited the hall. Severus shivered. That man had not looked nice at all, and he hadn't said anything to Severus; he'd just looked at him.

Sometime later, he returned to his mother's rooms. She was repairing some old books. He sat down to watch as she was waving her wand at the binding of an old divination book.

"Mum?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I haven't told you about my dreams. I've been having dreams about some things I did when I was the other Severus, and they weren't nice things. Do you think I am going to grow up to be a good person this time?"

"Of course I do," said his mother as she set down the book and retrieved another from the stack beside her. "You are a good person, Severus, and if necessary, I will tell you that every day for the rest of your life. I refuse to allow you to think less of yourself than you should. The other Severus did do many things that upset me quite a bit, but I loved him, very much. And Severus, you can come talk to me anytime about your dreams. I want to help you."

Severus smiled. He loved his mum so much. "Was I a good child last time?" Severus didn't expect an answer, but he hoped he would get one. Professor Potter had been right: he needed to talk more to his mum about what was going on.

"You were a precocious child who had an unhealthy interest in things a child should not care about, Severus, but yes, you were a good child. I couldn't have asked for a better son. In the circumstances we were surrounded with, you did fine." Severus's mother set down the book she was not finished with and looked at him. "I shouldn't indulge your curiosity about that time, but I guess you deserve to know about it; they do say those who do not know their history are destined to repeat it."

Severus nodded. "I was unhappy, wasn't I?"

"You were. I did the best I could, but we had very little, and your father was the only one bringing home any money. I did the best I could for you after he left."

Severus kissed his mother on the cheek. "I am glad you and me got another chance to be happy."

* * *

Harry observed the students from his seat at the High Table. Hogsmeade/Quidditch weekends always made the students more talkative and apt to act unruly. Filch had already confiscated several illegal items, and Harry had given detention to ten students within the past hour. By the time the Quidditch match concluded the following day, many others would be given out as well.

Having Hogsmeade weekends and Quidditch matches at the same time was a change that Harry quite liked. It did make the students more rowdy, but instead of possibly two weekends each month where the students were overly excited and difficult to control, there was only one, and having the Quidditch matches on Sunday afternoons was a good way to end the weekend.

Along with Sean Derrington, Harry had been on duty today, and the students had behaved better than usual: probably because they knew this would be the last Hogsmeade weekend before the really cold weather was upon them.

For most of the day, Harry had walked around the village, his eyes looking for trouble, his mind thinking about Brian and Ronnie. He had tried to compose the letter he needed to send regarding why someone had been asking questions about Ronnie, but he hadn't come up with anything to write. As bad of an idea as it seemed, Harry had thought that he might go see Brian. Not that he wanted anything to happen between them, because he didn't. He only wanted to see him.

Someone had then interrupted Harry and his thoughts… Malfoy.

He had asked Harry to join him for a cup of tea, so Harry had. Malfoy had asked him how Severus was, then he had told Harry that his father was ready to talk, and that he wanted to meet with Harry the following Wednesday, at seven in the evening. Harry had said he would need to see if that night was a good night, but that he did want to talk to Lucius.

Harry's thoughts about the day were interrupted when someone spoke to him.

"I see they are riled up as usual after a day in Hogsmeade. I knew today was too good to be true."

Harry looked to his left and nodded as Derrington sat beside him. "We should make it illegal for them to go to Honeydukes."

"Ah, but what's the fun in that? Having mannerly students on Hogsmeade/Quidditch weekend? Where is your adventurous side, Potter?"

"I think I left it back in the Forest of Dean," Harry deadpanned as he watched one of his sixth year prefects admonishing a third year. "Have you seen Severus? He should be here by now."

"He is in the corridor talking to Miss Steele and her father. That is one man I wouldn't want to be caught alone with, but he seems to adore his daughter."

* * *

"Daddy let me get a triple strawberry with fudge."

Magnoloia need not have told Severus — the red and chocolate on her face told the tale.

"And I got to see the new Firebolt 3000. It was so pretty. Daddy might buy me one and let me try out for Quidditch next year."

"That would be fun; then I could ride it," Severus said, a wide grin on his face. "I think the seeker for Ravenclaw has one and is going to use it in the game tomorrow." He couldn't wait to see it; he had heard it was two times as fast as the Clean Sweep 2010, which had been released at the same time.

"Do you enjoy Quidditch, Mr. Snape?" asked Magnolia's father.

Severus still felt a bit nervous around the big man, and wished the man wouldn't ask him anything, but he smiled as much as he could. "I don't fly much, but I do like to play when I do. Quidditch is bloody brilliant; I'd play all day if I could."

"Maybe sometime you and Magnolia can play together on our pitch."

"You have a Quidditch pitch?" Severus asked, excitedly, his nervousness ebbing away.

"I do, and I would be happy to host you and your mother for a day of Quidditch sometime in the future."

Severus tried to temper his enthusiasm. "That would be great fun."

"For now, I need to be going. I will be at the match tomorrow; perhaps we can visit again then."

Any nervousness Severus had previously felt, left him. He watched as the man hugged his daughter, then as he turned toward Severus. "It was nice to meet you, Mr. Steele." Severus stuck out his hand, but took it away when Magnolia's father put his hands behind his back. It was a bit odd, but Severus just shrugged his shoulders.

"It was nice to meet you too, Severus. Take good care of my girl, okay?"

"Yes, sir," Severus said as he sneezed. Before he could conjure a handkerchief, Magnolia's father handed him one.

"Keep it; I have more than I need."

Severus nodded and stuffed the handkerchief in his robe pocket as he entered the Great Hall.

As soon as he sat down at his House table, he turned to the High Table and found his mum. She looked concerned, so Severus knew he'd get a talking to later. It upset him that he had to be so careful, but he did understand that he had been kidnapped. That wasn't anything to take lightly, but talking to his best friend and her father couldn't hurt anything.


	16. Chapter 16

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XVI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,808  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Sixteen**

_Bellatrix's_ _wand sent the curse and it moved as if in slow motion before it hit Sirius in the chest. He fell into the veil._

"NO!" Harry sat up in his bed, breathing rapidly. He hadn't had this dream in months, and the reprieve had been welcome.

After he calmed down, he got out of bed and walked out into the sitting room. The first vestiges of light were appearing through the window, so at least he wouldn't have to worry about trying to get to sleep again. After checking on Severus, who had kicked the covers off and was snoring, louder than usual, Harry had a quick shower. After he dressed, he fixed himself a cup of tea and finished his marking. With the Quidditch match between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, it promised to be another busy day. Hermione and Ron were going to be at the match; it would be good to see them. Since the kidnapping, Harry had been busy dealing with Severus.

When the last paper was marked, Harry sent them to his bedroom, and then retrieved some parchment and a quill. He wished he didn't have to write this, but he had no choice.

It took him six different beginnings, and three different endings, but finally he had it written, and he hadn't shed a tear or even felt sad. It had to be perfect. Harry began reading from the beginning:

_Dear Brian,_

You will be relieved to know that there is nothing sinister going on with someone asking questions about Ronnie and me. It seems as though a friend of someone I am currently responsible for did a background check on me because he was worried that I was not a good choice for this person to be living with. It's complicated, but he means no harm, I assure you. He'll not be doing any further investigating.

I don't know how to write to you and pretend that I am okay. I'm not okay, but I am getting there. You hurt me, Brian. I've only had one hurt worse than the one you put me through, and I'll never get over either. I don't want to be angry with you, but I don't know if I can ever forgive you for what you did to me. You'll never know what it took for me to leave the hospital room that day, knowing that I'd never see Ronnie again. You didn't even let me say bye to him.

You have said repeatedly that I never loved you, but you are wrong. I loved you, probably more than I've ever allowed myself to love anyone. I know I didn't show it the way you probably needed me to, but I tried.

I can't ever see you again. I thought about it, but it is better that we don't. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you. You always knew what I needed, and you never got upset with me for being so emotional. You'll be happy to know I am not nearly as emotional anymore. I'm not sure if that is a good thing, but there you have it. If I wasn't there for you when you needed me, I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you.

No matter what else happens in my life, I'll never regret the time we spent together. You gave me so much, and allowed me to be a part of your son's life for three years. That is a gift that I'll cherish forever. I'll always love you, remember that.

Harry

Not as eloquent as Brian would have worded it, but Harry was satisfied. He folded the parchment and set it aside. He'd send it via his owl to Alan, and Alan could give it to Brian.

By now the sun was shining through the window; it would be a perfect day for Quidditch, unlike the previous month, when it had been raining and the visibility had been very low for the Hufflepuff/Gryffindor match.

The Floo lit up and Eileen's head appeared. It was rare that she contacted Harry this early.

"Harry?"

"I'm here. Is anything wrong?"

"I had a dream last night. Is Severus okay?"

"He's sleeping; you can come check on him if it'll make you feel better." Within a few seconds, she stepped through the flames. Harry walked with her to Severus's room, and she saw that her son was indeed asleep, looking as if he hadn't a care in the world.

When Eileen was seated on the sofa, a cup of tea in her hands, Harry excused himself and went into his bedroom and shut the door. This was just a coincidence; his having a bad dream the same night that Eileen had one… it didn't mean anything. He gathered himself and returned to the sitting room, where he found Eileen and Severus talking. To give them some privacy, Harry walked into the kitchen and fixed some toast. He put marmalade on Severus's, then got out some beans and put them on his. It was habit by now, and Harry found that he quite liked it. His rooms had always been so quiet before this year, but since the young Severus had moved in with him, it had been anything but quiet.

* * *

After he watched Professor Potter enter the kitchen, Severus stood and stretched. He had left his homework for today, and wanted to complete it before the Quidditch match; he was determined to talk his mother into allowing him and Magnolia to go to the lake, but she didn't currently look to be in the mood to say yes to that, so Severus would wait until after the match was over.

"Are you feeling well, Severus? You look ill. Perhaps you shouldn't go to the match today."

So now she was trying to keep him from going out at all. "I feel fine, and you can't keep me from doing anything fun just because you are worried about me, Mum. I'll be okay."

"Severus, you don't have to like what I say or suggest, but I am your mother and will always worry; it is part of being a parent. I still say you look and sound as if you are catching cold, but unless you get worse, you may go, but you must wear your cloak."

There was nothing for Severus to do other than nod.

After his mother left, Severus entered the kitchen. As he sat across from Professor Potter, eating his toast, his thoughts were about his mother. He didn't like how overprotective she was, but he did understand. Had she protected the other Severus this much? He knew the answer.

* * *

"You better not let your mother see you without your cloak on," Harry said, as he picked the cloak up and set in the seat beside him.

"It was getting hot with it on. She's just worried because I've been sneezing; she thinks I'm catching cold." Not a second later, Severus sneezed twice. "Could you give me the handkerchief in my cloak pocket?"

Harry pulled the handkerchief out of Severus's cloak pocket and looked at it, then turned toward Severus. "Not catching cold? I'd beg to differ. Where did you get this?"

"Magnolia's dad gave it to me when I sneezed yesterday; he said I could keep it. He's sort of scary-looking, but he is really nice; he said I could go to his home and play Quidditch on his pitch sometime."

That wouldn't be happening, but Harry smiled. "I still think you should wear your cloak. The last thing you need is to catch cold. You were breathing a bit louder than usual this morning. You probably should go see Madam Pomfrey after the match."

"You and mum worry too much, Professor," Severus said as he looked for Magnolia and her father. "Oh there they are. See that man with the red curly hair over there? That is Magnolia's dad."

Scary might not have been quite how Harry would have described the man who was talking to his daughter, but he definitely didn't look like anyone Harry wanted to get into an argument with.

"Can—may I go talk to Magnolia and sit with her and her father during the match?"

Harry hedged. He didn't think it was a good idea, but there really wasn't a reason to say no, other than the fact that Severus had been kidnapped. He was about to say no when Severus gave him that look that he knew how to do so well. How was it that one look could completely do Harry in? "I guess so, as long as you don't leave your seat. I'll have a clear view of you and I'll be able to see if you leave. Your mother will be here in about an hour, and she'll want to you sit with her then, but until then, it should be okay."

"I'll come back when I see Mum. Thanks, Professor Potter."

As he watched Severus leave, Harry tried to smile. It wasn't easy — trying to balance safety and Severus's need for some freedom. It hadn't been too difficult in the past because Severus hadn't wanted to wander off by himself, or with others, but now, since he and Magnolia had become such good friends, he wanted more freedom.

A few minutes later, as the announcer, a sixth year Ravenclaw, was announcing the Slytherin Quidditch team members, Draco Malfoy took the seat next to Harry.

"What is it, Malfoy?" Harry asked, not wishing to be in the other's company, but when Malfoy held up a piece of parchment: Severus's birth announcement that had never been found after the kidnapping, Harry felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. This couldn't be good.

"There are specialized traces on it with Severus's signature. I found it at the lake. I decided to go see if I could find any clues and I found it then."

So they might be able to find the kidnapper; this could be good. Harry's face lit up. "You said traces. Who else is on the trace, Malfoy," but no sooner had he said the last word when there was a shrill scream: Severus's. Harry turned just in time to see Magnolia's father with his hands around Severus's neck, then they disappeared, leaving a sobbing Magnolia behind.

"Ophiuchus Steele," Draco said as he and Harry ran over to where Severus had been seconds earlier. Magnolia looked as if she were going to be sick. Harry looked around and saw one of his prefects. He pointed to Magnolia and told the prefect to take her to Madam Pomfrey. Harry knelt to see if there was anything that might help locate Severus, but there was nothing.

Harry looked at Malfoy and shook his head. "They can't have him, Draco."


	17. Chapter 17

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XVII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,946  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Seventeen**

He tried to scream, but there was no sound. He tried to kick, but he couldn't move. He tried to see where he was, but he couldn't open his eyes. This wasn't good, and the worst part of all of this was that it was his fault. Hadn't he felt uneasy when he met Magnolia's father yesterday? As much as he liked Magnolia, he should have listened to that part of him that said there was something not quite right with her dad.

Had Magnolia known what her dad was going to do? Severus hoped not.

He heard footsteps.

"Our attempt failed last time, but it will succeed this time, Snape. Eleven years ago, the Dark Lord asked me to revert you to an infant so that his successor would have a ready-made follower when he rose to power. You will take your place beside him. We were going to allow you to age naturally for a few more years, but our new master is ready now, and he needs you, so you will forgive us if we have to return you to the age you were eleven years ago."

No. No. No. No. This couldn't happen. Severus again tried to scream, but couldn't. He felt someone opening his mouth, and he felt the vial as it pressed against his lips and then as the cold liquid went down his throat. NO! He didn't want to be that mean man; he wanted to be Severus, who lived with Professor Potter, who was friends with Magnolia Steele, who had a mother who loved him and took care of him, who loved Quidditch, who loved life. He knew the other Severus hadn't been happy.

He choked and began to cough, but more liquid was poured down his throat as tears ran down his face. He couldn't breathe.

"It's all over now, Snape; you'll be back to you in no time," said the laughing man.

Severus lost consciousness.

* * *

Hermione was talking, but Harry had no idea what she was saying. He heard Ron speaking to his dad, and he could see Poppy and Minerva consoling Eileen, but all he could think about was the scream and the look on Severus's face before he had disappeared. Harry looked out of the window and noticed that it was getting dark. What time was it? His memory of the day wasn't clear. After Severus's scream, everything blurred.

"Potter?"

Another voice: Malfoy's. Harry turned and saw Malfoy approaching him. "What have you found out regarding Steele?" Harry stood and walked with Malfoy to the kitchen. Someone had prepared tea. Harry poured himself a cup and leaned against the table.

"Percy Weasley is running another check on him now, but from what I have found out, he seems to be clean; there are no Death Eater connections. The specialized trace led me to his fingerprints and signature, but it is strange: there seems to be no other record of him."

Harry gave a mirthless laugh. "No matter what information there is on him, I know that Steele has to be connected to Death Eaters. Why else would he kidnap Severus? They are trying to bring him back to how he was the night of the Battle of Hogwarts; we know that from the last time they took him. Who else has a stake in that?" Harry asked, his hand shaking so much that he had to set down his tea.

"No one that I can think of. Look, Potter, I'm going to do everything I can to find him. No matter what you think, I don't want anything to happen to Severus."

"You do that, Malfoy. Tell me who did this, or get your dad to tell me. I don't care which, but I want to know. I want to know who has Severus." Harry turned to pour himself more tea, but his hand was shaking so badly that he couldn't. A few seconds later, the cup, filled with warm tea, was placed in his hand. Harry tried to smile, but it was little more than a frown. "Thanks."

"I'm going to see my father. I'll let you know what I find out."

Two hours later, Harry sat across from Lucius Malfoy. It took every ounce of restraint he had to keep his hands to himself. If it weren't for the fact that Lucius might be able to lead them to Severus, Harry might be tempted to kill the man with his bare hands.

"You know why I'm here, Malfoy; I'm not leaving until you tell me what you know about Ophiuchus Steele. He looks to be in his fifties, and has red, curly hair. Your son did a trace on a piece of parchment that Severus had before he was kidnapped the first time, and it came back with specialized tracings on it, ones that included Steele's. There are too many similarities for this to not be connected to what you have told your son. I want to know what you know, and I want to know it now." Harry heard someone clearing their throat, and glanced at Arthur, who had an amused look on his face. "Sorry. I'll let you ask the questions." Harry sat back and stared at Lucius, who continued to look at him.

"I wonder who you think you are, Mr. Potter. You don't have clearance to question me, but, as you asked, _so nicely_, I'll answer your question. I did not know that he was using Polyjuice Potion, nor did I know that he had a daughter who attended Hogwarts. If I had known, I would have voiced my concern sooner," replied Lucius, now looking, not at Harry, but at Arthur.

Polyjuice Potion? Voicing his concerns? What was Lucius going on about?

"Could you begin at the beginning, Mr. Malfoy?" asked Arthur, his voice calm and steady, a stark contrast to the emotionally-charged voice of Harry. "I need you to tell me everything you know about Mr. Steele."

"I can't do that, Weasley. You may give me Veritaserum and question me that way if you wish, but that will be the only way you get any answers from me."

An hour later, Kingsley administered Veritaserum to Lucius, who looked frightened. Harry and Arthur sat on the other side of the glass, along with Percy. They would be able to hear everything that Kingsley and Lucius said.

"Harry, you cannot speak at all during the questioning," Arthur said as he looked at Lucius. "I know it's not going to be easy, but you will be asked to leave if you say anything."

"Yes, sir."

Kingsley cleared his throat. He was ready. Harry didn't know if he wanted to hear what he was about to, but he had to know what Lucius knew.

'What is your name?"

"Lucius Malfoy."

"What year were you born?"

"1954"

"What is the nature of your relationship with Mr. Steele?"

"He is my uncle."

''Is your Uncle's real name Ophiuchus Steele?"

"No."

"What is his real name?"

"Cepheus Malfoy."

"Before today were you aware that your uncle and Mr. Steele were the same person?"

"No."

"When did you make this connection?"

"My son paid me a visit this morning and told me that the specialized trace from Severus's first kdnapping had come back to a Mr. Steele. I knew that specialized traces had been a favorite of my uncle; when we were younger he employed the use of those traces often, and that form of tracking is not used much anymore. I was uncertain of the connection, but there was no doubt it seemed likely that it was my uncle who had been behind this."

"Why did your uncle kidnap Severus Snape?"

"He wanted to return him to the age he was eleven years ago."

"Was he responsible for Severus Snape being reverted to an infant eleven years ago?"

"Yes."

"Do you know why your uncle reverted Severus Snape to an infant?"

"No."

"When did you find out about your uncle's plans?"

"Six months ago."

"Why did you not tell anyone about any of this?"

"My uncle threatened to kill my son."

"Yet you did tell your son that something was amiss with Severus, even though it wasn't the truth?"

"Yes."

"You invented a story to tell your son?"

"Yes."

"Why did you tell your son what you did?"

"I didn't want Severus to be hurt."

"Why didn't you say anything to the authorities when Severus was kidnapped the first time?"

"I didn't know that was my uncle's doing. I had my suspicions, but I wasn't certain."

"Your son made Severus Snape's predicament public knowledge. How did you and he get away with this without being punished?"

"I didn't. My uncle said I would regret my decision."

"Do you know where your uncle took Severus Snape?"

"No."

"One final question: how did your uncle revert Severus to an infant?"

"He gave him a potion."

"That is all for now. Guard, take him to the holding room. I will be there later to transfer him to his new cell." Kingsley joined Harry, Percy, and Arthur in the other room.

"Well, that certainly wasn't what I expected," Kingsley said as he sat down across from Harry.

It hadn't been what Harry expected, either. "Lucius should have known there was a connection; if anything has happened to Severus, I am going to ask that Lucius's sentence be upgraded to the Dementor's Kiss." Without another word, he stood and left the room.

* * *

He woke to someone kicking him in the stomach. It was cold. He was cold. The floor was hard, and he was naked. He could taste blood and could feel blood running down his face and into his eyes. He hurt everywhere.

"I think we've had enough fun for today, Snape. It's time to reintroduce you to your former life. Don't worry; you haven't seen the last of me. You'll be seeing quite a bit of me, you just won't know you've seen me before. Obliviate."

The next thing Severus sensed was the lack of pain, which was strange as he hadn't added a numbing agent to the anti-venom. Nagini's bite had left him in excruciating pain, yet now he felt nothing. He touched his neck, but there was no sign of the bite. Perplexed, he sat up and looked around, which only confused him further. There were no signs of what had happened: the blood he had lain in was now gone.

There was something very wrong. Severus stood and looked down at his body: his robes were no longer covered in blood. His eyes then took in his surroundings: the room looked the same; a strong gust of wind could knock down the walls. Nonetheless, there was something amiss.

As he made his way through the tunnel, Severus thought it odd that there was no barrage of noise assaulting his ears. Had he been unconscious long enough for the battle outside to have ended? If that were the case, had Potter been able to finally defeat the Dark Lord?

Perhaps the snake bite had damaged Severus more than he thought, and he was hallucinating.

He found a stick so he could stop the Whomping Willow from harassing him, then made his way into the dark night. As his eyes perused the grounds, they took in a much more tranquil sight than he had seen as he'd entered the Whomping Willow. It was disconcerting. There was no possible way that this was the same night. He then looked towards Hogwarts: it was barely visible because of the late hour, but he could see the outline. He began walking towards the castle; he needed answers.


	18. Chapter 18

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XVIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,390  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Owl me if you need anything, Harry."

"I will. Tell Ron I'll talk to him in the morning." With a nod, Hermione stepped into the fire and disappeared.

After stoking the fire, Harry went round retrieving empty teacups. This was the first moment all day he'd been alone, and he didn't like the silence; it enveloped him like a Dementor attacked its victim. After banishing the cups to the kitchen, he walked to Severus's bedroom and stood in the doorway. As usual, Severus had haphazardly made his bed. No matter how many times Harry told the eleven-year-old that it couldn't be that difficult to make his bed properly, it always looked the same. Now, staring at the empty room, Harry thought that if he had the chance, he'd never complain about the state of Severus's bed again… well, he would try not to.

Normally, about this time, Severus would be having a shower. The noise from the shower had become as normal as eating to Harry, and the lack of said noise was deafening. Harry shut the door to Severus's bedroom and walked into his own bedroom. He found a pair of boxers, then went to have a shower. The first thing he noticed as he stepped under the warm water was Severus's shampoo bottle, lying on the floor, open. Harry grinned and shook his head as he picked it up and returned it to its proper place.

Severus's presence was everywhere.

As Harry dressed, he looked longingly at his bed. Sleep would probably be the best plan of action since he was exhausted, but he'd be getting no rest this night. There weren't any papers to mark, but Harry decided he should prepare for the following day's lessons, so after he donned his dressing gown, he sat down at his desk.

His seventh years were working on antidotes; his sixth years were learning about runespoor eggs; his fifth years were finishing up with Blood-Replenishing Potions; his fourth years were about to begin Calming Draughts; his third years were in the midst of a discussion on hellebore; his second years were studying the Forgetfulness Potion; and his first years were about to begin finding out the importance of bezoars. Harry tried to have each year working on a different aspect of potions; it made for more interesting lessons — he wasn't hovering over potions all day, but neither was he talking all day — he had no doubt that his students benefited from this variation.

He opened the seventh year book to page forty-five and found his quill and parchment. He hadn't written five words when he heard a noise coming from the sitting room.

"Harry? Are you in there?"

"I'm coming, Minerva." Harry put away his books and parchment and entered the sitting room. "Did they find him?"

"Not yet, but the wards have been breeched. The staff have been notified and have gone to their checkpoints. I told them I was going to get you myself."

Of all the times… Harry sighed. "Do you think this could have anything to do with Severus?" A stupid question, probably, but one he needed to ask nonetheless.

"It could."

Within ten minutes, Harry was standing on the steps leading to the grounds of Hogwarts. Minerva had already notified the Ministry, and Aurors were on their way — Arthur was convinced that this had to do with Severus.

"I'm going to the Whomping Willow," Harry said to Minerva as he began walking across the grounds, "since that's where the sensors that went off were located."

"Be careful, Harry."

Harry retrieved his wand and lit it; there was not much of a moon, so the grounds were almost in complete darkness. He pointed his wand in all directions as he made his way toward the tree that had done its best to injure him and Ron at the beginning of second year. No telling what it had in store for him this night.

"Who is there?" demanded a voice that Harry hadn't heard in eleven years.

_No_.

Harry aimed his wand in the direction the voice had come from, and there stood Severus Snape… an adult Severus Snape.

_No_. Harry's entire body deflated as if it had been a balloon someone pierced with a needle.

"Potter? Is that you?"

Severus Snape stood a few meters away, his wand lit, aimed at Harry. Harry called his Patronus and sent it off to find Arthur, then turned around and retraced his steps. He passed Minerva and Derrington as he ascended the steps, but didn't speak. He entered the castle and made his way to his sitting room. He Flooed Ron and asked him and Hermione to come through. They did, but Harry refused to tell them why he needed them there. He sat on the sofa and stared ahead.

"What happened, Harry? Did they find Severus? Is he… dead?" Hermione asked, hesitantly. "Harry, please tell us what happened. You don't look so good," she added a minute later when he still hadn't responded.

His head was about to explode with everything running through it. Harry opened his mouth to ask Hermione to please give it a rest, but Arthur entered the room, his face pale. Harry showed only the slightest indication that he had seen Ron's dad enter.

"He's in Minerva's office, Harry."

"Who's in Minerva's office?" Ron asked.

"Does Eileen know?" Harry asked, not caring that he had interrupted Ron.

"Wha—"

Harry looked at Hermione. Couldn't she just wait? "Severus has been found; they returned him to how he was eleven years ago," he said, barely any emotion in his voice. Hermione's face crumpled and she hugged Ron. Harry knew how she felt. He returned his attention to Arthur. "Eileen?"

"I thought it would be best if you were with her when she found out. Poppy is with her now; we made up a story to keep her occupied."

This was a nightmare. Harry nodded, then turned and looked at the door that led to Severus's room: he was gone and he wasn't coming back. Harry shook his head and backed away when Hermione tried to hug him. He was so close to losing it, and he couldn't give in to his emotions, not yet. He had responsibilities.

He looked back at Arthur. "Would you please go get Eileen?" Then he turned toward Hermione. "Would you mind taking care of Severus's things? I think it best if you remove everything."

"Are you sure, Harry? You might think diffe—"

"Just do it, Hermione," Harry said, his voice shaking. Of course he was too emotional to make any decisions at the moment, but he just didn't want to see anything of Severus's. "Please."

* * *

"That can't be, Minerva."

"Oh, Severus, I assure you, what I have told you is the truth."

"You are telling me that I was reverted to an infant eleven years ago and that today I regained the body I had eleven years ago?"

"That is precisely what I am telling you."

Severus's fingers gripped the sides of his chair so tightly that the arms began to creak. This couldn't be true. He was having one of his bad dreams; that had to be what he was experiencing, which meant he would wake up eventually.

"I want to know everything, Minerva. Leave nothing out."

"You will be told everything, Severus; there are others who need to be here for that, however, so you'll have to wait a few minutes."

He didn't want to wait. "My mother?"

"She's at Hogwarts; she will be here shortly."

"The Dark Lord? Did Potter finally succeed in killing him? Will you tell me that, or do I have to wait to hear that as well?"

"Harry rid our world of Voldemort, yes."

"He suffered no lasting effects?"

"No. Harry is fine, Severus. Why do you ask? You certainly didn't seem to care about him before."

"No reason," Severus replied, but there was a reason: Severus had done something right; he had saved Potter's life. As much as he loathed the boy, he was thankful that Lily Potter's son still lived. "And his reward for saving our world was a teaching position at Hogwarts? I find it difficult to believe that our resident hero would want to teach."

"Then you'll find it impossible to believe that Harry is Hogwarts's Potions master."


	19. Chapter 19

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XIX  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 1,980  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Nineteen**

Harry Potter… teaching Potions? That was a deplorable thought. They had lost their minds. Completely ludicrous. Severus bristled at the mere idea. "How did this unfortunate circumstance come about? Certainly, he would have requested to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor."

"You have much to catch up on, Severus. Mr. Potter is a world-famous Potions maker who came to Hogwarts to teach because I requested he do so."

"May Merlin help us all." When he heard the door open, Severus looked toward the door and watched as an adult Harry Potter, his face pale, entered. He hadn't changed much at all from the seventeen year old that Severus had seen that night eleven years ago. His green eyes traveled to the far wall, then the floor, toward the portrait of a sleeping Albus Dumbledore — anywhere that was not Severus. "Still unable to muster the courage to look at me, Potter?" Severus smirked when his comment had the desired effect: Potter glared, as if challenging him.

"Severus, that will be enough," Minerva said, tersely. "Harry, come in, please."

Severus watched Potter take a seat; he looked about as happy as Severus felt. "Where is my mother, Potter? Minerva says she is here."

"She'll be here in a few minutes. She is upset, so you better not upset her further."

"She is my mother, thank you; I think I know how to treat her, and I would never upset her, Potter," Severus replied, disdain in his every word. The door opened again and Severus's face broke out into a huge grin as his mother entered. He hadn't seen her as she truly looked in seven years.

"Severus," she exclaimed. Her voice sounded weak, but her face showed only happiness.

Severus stood, walked over to his mother, and hugged her. He tried to pull back, but his mother clung to him, and he could hear her crying. "I am here, mother; I am alive. There is no need to cry."

"Oh, Severus."

There were more tears. Severus pulled back and tried to wipe the tears away. "Please do not cry. I survived."

"But you were young and happy. I'm so sorry, Se—"

"Eileen, he has no memories of that time; all he remembers is being bitten by Nagini, and almost dying," said Minerva, her voice shaking ever so slightly.

"You have no memories of returning here earlier this year? You don't remember the balloons? You don't remember how I would blow them up for you when you were little?"

From the tone of his mother's voice, it was evident that she wanted him to say yes, but Severus had no memories of returning to Hogwarts, nor did he recall anything about balloons (other than those that Peeves had dropped on his head throughout his stay at Hogwarts as a student). "I apologize, mother, but no, I do not recall either of those things."

"I think I need to go lie down. Severus, I am very happy to see you; I thought I'd never see you again. If you'll come see me tomorrow, I'd be happy. For now, I need sleep."

Severus didn't understand. Why did he feel as though his mother was disappointed to see him? After she left the room, he turned his attention to Minerva. "Please explain to me why my mother is unhappy to see me, and then I would like to be informed of what my life has consisted of for the past eleven years."

"Please don't take your mother's reaction to mean she is unhappy to see you. The happy little boy she had known for eleven years was taken from her, and here you are after eleven years; it is a lot to take in. Give her some time, Severus."

Severus pinched his nose; he could feel a headache building. "I must give her my apologies for being a disappointment; I'd thought the one person immune from that where I was concerned was my mother. It seems I was mistaken. Now I would very much appreciate it if you would tell me what your role was in my second chance at _happiness_, Mr. Potter?"

"I—I…"

"Well? Spit it out, Potter. I am aware that you have already taken over Potions, but my intuition tells me that there is more to your involvement; you always were one for foolish wand waving."

"Severus, enough. You have been gone eleven years, perhaps not in your mind, but you have been, and in your place has been a sweet little boy. I refuse to allow you to come in here and wreak havoc on my innocent staff. Mr. Potter has gone beyond the call of duty for you. If you only knew what he has done, you'd not be so quick to upset him."

"And I have no reason to be upset, Minerva? Is that it? I wake up and find out that I have missed eleven years, yet I am the one who does the disappointing — how very unsurprising. Excuse me if my reemergence has ruined what the three of you had going with your little progeny. Am I such a disgrace that you would rather have an eleven-year-old me around?"

"Severus, don't be ridiculous; you know how I feel about you."

"Do I, Minerva? I thought I knew how my own mother felt about me — how very wrong I was — so pardon me if I am uncertain how you feel about me. How would you feel if your mother looked at you the way mine did? She didn't want me, she wanted that little boy. You don't want me here, you want that little boy. Then there is Potter: he has always detested me, but the look on his face tells me that he must not have hated that little boy. And Albus, whom I thought might have had an encouraging word to say on my behalf, has not once opened his eyes, although I know he is not asleep, so he must prefer that little boy as well. Well excuse me for living. I'll take my leave now. Where should I go, as I am sure my old rooms are no longer mine." Severus stood. He needed to escape this nightmare.

"As a matter of fact, no one is using them," Minerva said, her tone much softer. "If you wish, they can be yours again, but you are not going anywhere, Severus, until we finish here. You asked Harry a question, so you are going to listen to what he has to say."

How dare Minerva. "Very well. Potter? Perchance, do I owe you for the nice little boy that all of you so desperately want back?"

"No, you owe that to your mother."

"So what exactly did you do for me to temper my wayward spirit? Minerva told me I came to Hogwarts after hearing some disturbing news. If you would be so kind as to expound on that, I'd be most appreciative."

"Of course, _Severus_, but I'd appreciate it if you would keep your condescending remarks and sarcasm to yourself. Arthur Weasley can give you more details than I can, but Draco Malfoy found out, somehow, that you were in hiding as an eleven-year-old. He made this information public, and he confronted you and your mother and told you about you being a former adult Death Eater. So that is why when you came here you were upset. Your life, which had been previously happy and carefree, had changed, and now others knew about it, including other students here at Hogwarts. Minerva, your mother, and I did the best we could to help you."

"Draco Malfoy did this? Please tell me it was not he who is behind what happened to me."

"No, it is a rather long story, one that you might want to hear from Arthur, who, by the way, is our new Minister for Magic. I will tell you that Draco, as well as his father, seem to have made your situation public in order to protect you. I'm not completely satisfied that Lucius had nothing to do with what happened to you, but it is looking more and more like he is innocent in this situation."

"Yes, I am certain that Draco and his father had nothing to do with what happened. Will you—" Severus stopped speaking when Arthur Weasley entered.

"I apologize for interrupting, but I need to speak to Minerva. Severus, I know it is late, but Poppy needs to examine you."

Severus nodded, then glanced at Potter. It seemed as though any further answers would have to wait.

An hour later he entered Poppy's office and sat across from her, waiting to hear her report.

"All of the scans look normal, but I want to examine you each night for the next week to make certain you haven't been given anything that has a time-delayed activation period."

* * *

Hermione and Ron had said they'd wait for him to return before they left, but Harry didn't want to talk to them; he just wanted to be alone. The walk around the lake hadn't done much to calm him, and he wanted to forget about it all, if only for a few hours.

As he expected, Hermione didn't even wait for him to have a seat before she began with the questions. Harry listened but didn't answer. Why was this happening? Was he such a bad person that he couldn't have anything good in his life? He had never asked for much, but it seemed that what little he had been given was always taken from him.

"Harry? Are you listening?"

Harry didn't want to sound ungrateful, but Hermione was about to get on his last nerve. He looked at her and shook his head. "I'd rather you and Ron left; I just want to be alone." As soon as he said it, he felt bad; he didn't want to hurt her feelings. He lowered his head.

"I don—"

"Hermione, he wants us to go. After the day he's had, if he wants us to go, then we'll go. No questions," Ron said, his voice defiant.

Harry raised his head just enough to see Hermione's face. He had never lived with her, but being her friend for eighteen years, he knew that there probably hadn't been many people to tell Hermione no.

"You'll Floo us if you need us, right?" Hermione asked, her worry obvious.

"You know I will. I know you mean well, really, I do, Hermione, but this is something I need to deal with on my own, at least tonight. So much has happened today; it's a lot to deal with. I hope you understand." When Hermione approached him, Harry allowed himself to be hugged. "I'll Floo you tomorrow and let you know how things went in Minerva's office."

Once Harry was alone, he sat on the sofa and closed his eyes as he leaned back. He had forgotten how infuriating the old Snape could be, but he hadn't forgotten how much he had cared for the younger Severus. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

He went to the kitchen and made tea and toast. As he put beans on his toast, his thoughts returned to the morning, when he had made toast for Severus. It had been such a normal thing to do, and it was something he would never do again. Thinking about not making breakfast for Severus ever again was such a depressing thought that Harry found the marmalade and banished it. It was a childish thing to do, but it was about the only thing he could do at the moment. He was so mad. So mad. But there was nothing he could do.

He returned to the sitting room and stared into the fire. Was there any part of the little boy still left in Severus Snape?


	20. Chapter 20

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XX  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 2,092  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP slash, but not for a while. EWE  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twenty**

In his mind, he had been here twelve hours earlier, but in reality, it had been eleven years since Severus had set foot in his rooms. How could that be? Had he really been reverted to an infant? And had his mother raised him again? And had he been a happy child?

What was he to do now? Severus no longer had a place at Hogwarts; there was someone else teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Potter was teaching Potions. Time had moved on without him, yet he was expected to continue living as if these anomalies he had experienced were normal… well, no one had said that to him, but that is what he was going to have to do. He was here and had to find his place again.

And he would.

First, he needed to cease feeling sorry for himself regarding Minerva and Potter and their less than warm reception. No one had been a huge fan of his eleven years earlier, so why would that be any different now? Of course they would have adored a young Severus and would mourn his loss.

Yes, that was what he needed to do… but not tonight. He was bitter and thought he deserved to be frustrated and angry about the current situation he found himself in.

Whoever had done this to him would pay.

There were a plethora of reasons why Severus had a right to be upset, but amid all of the chaos and discord he now felt, there was one positive to emerge: he had been able to see his mother in her true form for the first time in… well, to him, it was seven years. Seeing his mother and knowing she was safe made everything else not matter much at all.

"Severus?"

What was Minerva doing down here this late? "Minerva? It is almost morning; you should be asleep."

"I could say the same to you."

"I no longer teach here; you are the Headmistress."

"I came down here to relay a message and to talk to you. First, the message: Harry wants to talk to you tomorrow evening at seven, in his rooms."

What if he wanted to say no? "I'll be there." Severus wanted answers more than he wanted to get on Potter's bad side.

"I'll let him know to expect you then. Secondly, I wanted to tell you that no one is upset you are back, Severus. You have a home here, and we would never ask you to leave. You risked your life time after time for your students; your service to Hogwarts has been commendable. I wish things could have turned out differently for you."

Minerva would never know how fervently Severus wished the same. He had never wanted recognition for his efforts, but he had looked forward to the day when everyone would discover the truth. All he had wanted was respect from the people he admired the most: Minerva and Albus. Someone had taken away his chance at that, and now, eleven years later, he was that person again, but he wasn't the Severus Snape he had been born to be in 1960. Instead of being forty-nine, he was thirty-eight, and instead of gaining respect from someone he cared about, he was receiving her pity.

"Thank you, Minerva. Your words are kind. I would have done anything asked to save those students."

"I know that now, Severus. It pains me greatly to know how very wrong we were about you, but just as it was in the first war, it was impossible to know who was good and who was bad in the second war as well, and you had embedded yourself rather deeply in Voldemort's trenches. We did the best we could with what we had. When Harry came to me with the memories you had given him, I can't tell you how happy I was to view them. It is eleven years later, but please know that I thank you for what you did for us all; what you did for Harry. You saved his life."

_Again_ is what Severus wanted to say, but he kept that thought to himself. "This is all so very surreal, Minerva. I thought I'd walk out and see a war-torn Hogwarts in chaos where I was still a reviled person; instead, I stepped onto the grounds of a peaceful Hogwarts eleven years in the future where people are aware that I was working for the good instead of against it."

"It is surreal for all of us, Severus. Please remember that when you talk to Harry tomorrow evening. We all want to help you in any way we can, but Mr. Potter does not deserve your ridicule for what he has done. He, more than anyone else, deserves your understanding and patience. Your mother, no doubt, will be back to her old self in a few days and will be thrilled to see you; you are, after all the same person you were eleven years ago. She loved that Severus. Harry, on the other hand, did not like the Snape of eleven years ago, and you certainly did not like him. Young Severus looked up to Harry, and Harry cared for that little boy. So you can't expect him to just accept what has happened."

It always came back to _Harry_. All about _Harry_. However, Severus had to admit that what Minerva said made sense. "He was upset when he found me. The look in his eyes when he saw me by the Whomping Willow, Minerva, it was as if he were about to cry."

"He's had a really rough year."

"Wha—"

"Ask him."

When Minerva left, ten minutes later, Severus went to have a shower. As he washed himself, he marveled at the thought that it had been eleven years since he had done this; it was a difficult concept to grasp. He looked over his body — everything was just as he remembered it: scarred and ugly.

* * *

The Great Hall was noisier than usual; everyone seemed to have a copy of the _Daily Prophet_. A picture of the young Severus, taken in happier days, covered half of the front page, with the words: Child Snape Kidnapped, Again!

As far as everyone knew, other than the Ministry and Staff of Hogwarts, Severus hadn't been found. Arthur thought it best if they kept it a secret, at least for now.

"You look like you didn't get any sleep," said Derrington as he took his seat next to Harry.

Was it that obvious? Harry pointed to the _Daily Prophet_ and told Sean that he was about to have Magnolia Steele in his first lesson of the day, and wasn't looking forward to it. He then turned back to his plate and stared at it until he couldn't stand being where he was any longer. He needed to give his owl the letter to take to Alan, so he made his way to the Owlery and found Solitas, his Eagle Owl. She was beautiful, but Harry was determined not to become attached to her.

A few months after Hedwig died, Harry had bought Amo, another snowy white, and it hadn't taken him long to become attached to him. He had lived for over eight years, and had died a natural death. Harry hadn't wanted to get another owl, but he knew an owl was a necessity, so he had gotten Solitas… well, actually, Alan had found her in France and had bought her for Harry to help cheer him up after he left Brian.

"Come here, Solitas. I need you to take this to Alan, and no side trips this time. Straight there, then straight back, okay?"

A peck on his finger was his response. Once Harry finished tying the parchment around the owl's leg, he let her go. It was a wonder she didn't fly away and never return; Harry hardly ever visited her. He only saw her when he needed something delivered.

After he left the owlery he went to his office and found what he needed for his first lesson of the day. As he picked up his quill, his hand almost knocked over a picture of him and Severus that had been taken a month earlier. Harry shook his head and turned away; he couldn't deal with this now. He had to go face Magnolia Steele.

Arthur had thought it best that Magnolia be taken out of lessons, but Harry had been adamant that she not. His thoughts were that she had been traumatized enough already; separating her would only serve to deepen her confusion and sadness, and not many students were even aware that it had been Magnolia's father who had taken Severus, so Harry knew she would be better off in class.

Kingsley had wanted to question the girl, but again, Harry had requested that he be the one to question Magnolia. He had dealt with Severus enough to know that children needed to be handled with care. Harry wanted Magnolia to feel as though she was the one in charge, rather than having someone ask her questions as if they were interrogating her. Kingsley had reluctantly given him permission, but Harry knew that eventually, someone from the Ministry would have to question her.

As the students filed in, Harry put on a happy face and began the lesson. Magnolia's eyes followed him throughout the lesson, and Harry was certain that if provoked, she would burst into tears.

After he dismissed everyone, Magnolia approached his desk and asked if she could talk to him, which surprised Harry; he had worried that she wouldn't want to talk. He asked her to follow him to his office and they could talk while he gathered a few items he needed for his next lesson.

Once inside his office, he directed Magnolia to have a seat, and he gathered the parchment and bezoar he needed for his next lesson.

He always looked forward to teaching about bezoars because it reminded him how close he had come to losing Ron. Had he not been paying attention in Potions that first day, he might have missed Snape telling his students that a bezoar could absorb poison. Harry wanted his students to understand how important it was to listen to everything they were taught. He knew he was never going to have everyone pay attention, but, for that one person who could save someone else's life because they had listened to what their professor had told them, that was why he would never cease his lesson on bezoars.

Once he had what he needed and was seated, he turned his attention to Magnolia. "How may I help you, Miss Steele?"

"Does my daddy have Severus?"

And how was Harry supposed to respond to that? He had been the one to plead her case: saying that she should remain in lessons and not be told what was going on. It all sounded good and safe, but it did him no good now when that same little girl was looking at him, waiting for an answer to a question that didn't have an easy answer. If she weren't twelve, Harry might be a bit more forthcoming, but there was no way she could understand… or perhaps she would understand, but why should she have to?

"I am going to tell you something, but you must not repeat what I tell you to anyone, okay?" Magnolia nodded. "No one is going to hurt your friend, Magnolia. Severus is safe, but he's not coming back to Hogwarts."

"Why?"

"He is safe now. You want him to be safe, don't you?" Harry watched the young girl nod again.

"He was my only friend, Professor."

_And you were his only friend_. "I know he is going to miss you very much."

"Will you ever get to see him again?"

"I don't think so, Magnolia."

"Is my daddy in trouble?"

"Your daddy did a very bad thing, so yes, he is in trouble."

"He left me all alone."

"He knew you'd be safe here with us."

"But I miss my daddy."

Another problem… what was going to happen to Magnolia? Harry had thought of a possibility, but he was almost worried to enquire as to the feasibility of his idea. Nevertheless, Magnolia was not going to return to her father, so Harry scribbled himself a reminder to owl Malfoy when Solitas returned.

He sent Magnolia on her way when he heard the usual in-between-lesson traffic, and thought that this idea of his just might work out.


	21. Chapter 21

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 2,723  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Eleven years earlier, when an infant Severus had been discovered sleeping in the Shrieking Shack, his mother made the decision to take him back to Wales. Before they left Hogwarts, she had seen to it that her son's possessions were boxed up and put in storage; she had known that one day her son would need them again.

That day was today. As Severus stood in his work room unpacking some of the rarer potion procurements, he allowed himself a small grin of satisfaction; it had taken him years to accumulate all he had, and he was grateful that he would not need to start anew.

Once everything was in order, Severus sat down on one of the stools and looked around at the results of the last three hours. As the Potions master, and as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, he had spent countless hours in this room brewing, stirring, researching, inventing, and waiting, and this was where Severus had spent a majority of his nights during his brief tenure as Headmaster: concocting the anti-venom that he hoped would save his life if Nagini's fangs tried to kill him. He'd had to walk a very fine line that year. For _the greater good_ he had cursed off George Weasley's ear and had allowed his students to be cruelly punished… yes, a very fine line that he'd been told to cross if he had to.

Not wishing to dwell on those dark times, Severus decided he should take a break and eat. Normally, he would have gone to the Great Hall, but that was not an option; most people weren't aware that he had been retuned to his former self. Instead, he called a house-elf and asked for fish and chips, which seemed a bit odd to him because he had never cared for the greasy food before, but for some reason, he now had a craving for both.

A voice from the sitting room interrupted his attempts to not think about anything while he ate: it had to be Minerva. He banished his food and walked out to see the Headmistress seated on the sofa, and noticed that she didn't appear to be in a good mood. Severus tensed. Her meeting with Arthur must not have gone well.

"Hello, Minerva. What does Arthur think we should do?" Severus took a seat by the fire.

"He wants to keep you hidden to see if whoever is behind this will make a move. He wants to see you in his office, so he set up your Floo to connect to his."

"Anything else?"

"No. Now If you'll excuse me, I'll take my leave; I have much to do."

Severus nodded and watched Minerva step into the Floo and disappear.

Ten minutes later he found himself in the Minister's office, looking at the pictures on Arthur's desk. One of them was a poster of himself as an eleven-year-old, the words _Kidnapped_ in bold letters at the top. Eerie didn't even come close to describing the feeling Severus experienced while looking into his younger self's eyes — ones that had seen life not even a day earlier. The little boy looked happy; Severus couldn't think of many happy times: only sad and frightening ones.

On one side of the poster, there was a picture of Arthur and Molly with their grandchildren, and on the other side was a picture of Potter and a young boy. Had Potter married the Weasley witch? Severus recalled separating the two one evening down by the lake in the boy's sixth year. Severus had thought it disgusting to see the boy with someone who looked so much like Lily; he had been jealous: he had lost out to Potter's father where Lily's love was concerned.

"It must be disconcerting to see yourself, yet it's not exactly yourself," said Arthur as he entered his office and deposited a folder in front of Severus.

That was a vast understatement. "You have no idea." Severus wanted to ask about the boy in the picture with Potter, but couldn't think of a tactful way of doing so. He turned away from the picture so that he faced Arthur.

"The little boy is Ronnie."

"Po—Harry's son?"

"No, Ronnie's father was Harry's partner."

_Potter is gay_?

"…it's been really hard on him since Ronnie died. I don't understand how his father could have—I apologize; it just upsets me when I think about it. Harry's like a son to me, but you don't want to hear about that now… back to the reason you're here. I think you'll be interested in looking inside that folder."

Curiosity regarding Potter and the boy almost caused Severus to enquire further, but that would be inappropriate. He instead opened the file: it was Lucius's transcript from his questioning under Veritaserum. As Severus's eyes scanned the parchments within, he shook his head. This couldn't be. When he closed the folder, he looked up at Arthur. "Who makes the Veritaserum for the Ministry?"

"We have it made by a witch who lives in Berlin. Why do you ask?"

"Why not Mr. Potter?"

"The Ministry decided, about seven years ago, that it would be best to get an outside source to make all Ministry potions. Again, why do you ask?"

"Cepheus Malfoy, at least the Cepheus Malfoy I knew, was not intelligent. In fact, if I had to guess, I would say he was below average. I find it difficult to believe that it was he who is behind what happened to me. I know that I am the last person anyone wants to trust and believe, but I'd say that the Veritaserum was not what it appeared to be."

"So you are saying Lucius lied? Do you think Lucius could be behind this?"

It was evident Arthur was not happy. "You can't know how much it pains me to say this, but yes, I think Lucius lied; he has to be the one behind this. Why else would he make up such a story?"

"Perhaps he didn't make it up. He could have had others in on this as well. Tell me more about Cepheus Malfoy," said Arthur as he retrieved his quill and began taking notes. "He must not have grown up around here; I thought I knew all of the Malfoys but I can't place him."

"He lived in France with an aunt when he was younger, and only came to Scotland or England when he was needed. Lucius never did like him much, but when he needed something, Cepheus was always willing to do his bidding. Lucius was the younger one, yet Cephius was the one who followed Lucius. He was harmless, didn't have the brains to do anything… certainly not like this."

"If Lucius was behind this, then how do you explain him telling Draco? He had to know his son would make it public."

"You would have to ask Lucius, but it would be my guess that he realized what he had done was wrong."

"Thank you for telling me what you have, Severus; you have given me much to think about. I need to do some research, and it seems as though I need to set up surveillance at Azkaban and at Malfoy Manor, and get to the bottom of this Veritaserum situation."

"I do not think Draco would be involved," Severus said, not feeling as confident as he wanted to.

"Neither do I, but neither did I think that Lucius was involved. If what you say is true, then Draco could very well be involved. Regardless, it may be that Draco could be the key to unlocking the mystery."

"Minerva said you want to send me into hiding."

"I did, but with this information you have given me today, I don't think we need to make any decisions now. I do think you need to keep your self invisible for the next few days, however."

Severus was relieved that he'd not have to go into hiding. Images of his mother, fourteen years earlier, came to his mind. When he had told her that he was returning to the Dark Lord in order to spy, she had begged him not to go because then she couldn't protect him. He hadn't a choice, so he had gone, and had broken his mother's heart in the process. He hadn't looked forward to going through that again.

Her blood protected him… but then…

"Was my mother at the Quidditch match when I was kidnapped?"

"No."

That made no sense to Severus; his mother would have never let him go anywhere without her. His mother and father hadn't given him much support as he was growing up, but once at Hogwarts as a spy for Dumbledore, his mother had always insisted on being near him.

"My mother protects me; it is the same ancient magic that saved Harry. I don't understand why she wasn't at the match."

"Unfortunately, Severus, we think that your protection was somehow compromised since you were kidnapped weeks earlier with your mother not even fifteen meters away from you."

He had been kidnapped twice? What else hadn't they told him? "I had been kidnapped previously?"

"Yes, but you were found a few days later; you were… not hurt."

Severus doubted that, but that was a conversation he could have with his mother. "The only way my mother's blood magic could have been compromised is by the very blood that protected me."

"Yes," said Arthur as he set his quill down. "It would appear so."

As a Death Eater, Severus's body had been through every possible torture known to wizard-kind, and he had left the meetings bloody more times than not. It wouldn't have been difficult for anyone to get his blood. Now that he was thinking about it, it seemed obvious. How could he have never thought of that before?

* * *

As the hour approached seven, Harry's mood began to turn from somewhat pensive to extremely maudlin. He wanted to talk to Severus, yet he didn't. Knowing that the child that Severus had been would never return was still difficult to accept, but he knew that this couldn't be easy for Snape, either. Still, Snape didn't seem to have any memories of the past three months, so he wouldn't miss the time he had spent at Hogwarts. Harry, on the other hand, had so many memories, and that is all they were now. One second the little Severus had been here, the next, he hadn't.

He heard tapping on the window. He hadn't expected a response from Brian this quickly, but he found himself hurrying to the window so he could see what Brian had said.

Once he had the letter open, he told Solitas to go to the owlery; he then sat on his bed and began to read:

_Harry,_

Thank you for responding to my query regarding Ronnie. It is a relief to know there will be no more strange people calling at strange hours enquiring about him and you.

I met someone — he's a Muggle, like me. I'm very happy. Alan doesn't think it will last because he says I am too accustomed to magic. He's wrong. Magic is nice and all for blokes like you and Alan, but I'm just a plain old Muggle who enjoys the simplicity that living a Muggle life gives me.

I think it best if we cease communicating with one another. I have yet to get through a letter from you without breaking down and sobbing myself to sleep. We both deserve happiness, and the only way that is going to happen is if we cease all communication.

Goodbye, Harry

It was no less than Harry had expected. Brian was right; they would never be able to move on if they didn't break all ties with each other.

There was a knock at the door. Snape.

_Wonderful_.

Harry placed the parchment underneath his pillow, then walked out into the sitting room and pointed his wand at the door: it was Snape. "Enter," Harry said, sounding about as excited as a prisoner who was about to receive the Dementor's Kiss.

"Do you greet all your guests this warmly, Potter?" Snape asked as he entered.

As difficult as it would be, Harry refused to allow Snape to upset him any more than he already was. "I didn't invite you here to insult me. I asked you here to tell you about your life these past few months."

"My mother could tell me about that."

"She could, but when I talked to her earlier, she was happy that you and I were going to talk. Whether you like it or not, you did like me when you were a child, and I liked you." From the look on Snape's face, Harry knew that the mere thought of mutual admiration between a Potter and Snape must be inconceivable.

"I went to see her after my meeting with Arthur Weasley. I told her I was thinking about not coming to see you and she told me that it would help if I talked to you, so here I am."

"Don't sound so resigned, Snape. I'm not about to tell you that you were a _horrible ill-mannered child that I loathed_." Harry couldn't help the smirk; his description was precisely what Snape had thought of him eighteen years earlier. "You went to see Arthur?"

"I did, and that is another thing we need to discuss, but that can wait."

"Okay. Would you like a cup of tea? I'm out of biscuits, but if you'd like some, I could call for a house-elf."

"Tea will be fine."

A few minutes later Harry returned and handed Snape a cup of tea, then sat down. Snape looked as surly as ever. Harry took a breath. "I'm just going to start talking. If you need to ask a question, stop me," Harry said, hoping there would be no interruptions.

Snape merely nodded and looked as though he were about to hear the worst story ever. Possibly, to Snape, it would be: Once upon a time, a Potter took care of a Snape… Harry had to bite the side of his cheek to keep from laughing at the thought.

"You were sorted into Slytherin… again, and you lived in the Slytherin dormitory for about a month, but then students started harassing you quite a bit, so you moved in with me. Your mother wanted you to live with her, of course, but she knew the students would use that to tease you more, so we decided to have you move in with me. You still spent most of your time with her when you were not in lessons." Harry watched as Snape's eyes traveled to the three doors to his right. "Your room was the one on the left." Snape continued to look at the door. "Would you like to see the room?"

"Yes, please."

Manners? Snape? Harry couldn't believe it. He stood and walked slowly to the door and opened it. He really didn't want to go in.

"You do not like to go into the room? Please do not tell me you miss my presence that much."

A glare, then a shake of the head. Harry bit back his retort as he entered and stood against the wall and watched Snape look around.

"Does anything look familiar?" Snape shook his head, and Harry frowned.

"No, nothing looks familiar, but I can feel two magical signatures of children… one of them is mine, much weaker than it is now, but I can feel it. The other one is barely there, but like mine, with age, it would mature."

If Snape would have been looking, he would have seen Harry's face pale. No, the magical signature would never have the chance to mature. Harry closed his eyes and breathed in and out.

A hand touched his shoulder.

"Potter? Are you ill?"

Harry couldn't talk. He shook his head.

"I will take my leave; we can finish our talk tomorrow evening."

Harry opened his eyes and nodded because he still couldn't speak. He watched Snape back out of the room, and a few seconds later, he heard the door to his rooms shut. He leaned his head against the wall.

Ronnie had been a wizard?


	22. Chapter 22

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,665  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst; and I finally get to warn for sexual situations!  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

Harry wiped his eyes as he walked out into the sitting room and shut the door to the room that had been Ronnie's, and then Severus's. Would it ever get any easier? Probably not, and now Harry had the added thought that Ronnie's being a wizard could have possibly saved his life had anyone known. It was a useless thought now, and no one ever benefited from second-guessing choices made, but Harry couldn't help but think _what if_.

The flames changed color and Harry sighed; he wasn't in the mood for company.

"Harry? Are you okay? You don't look so good, mate," Ron said, as he stepped out of the fire and went to have a seat on the sofa.

"Good to see you, too, Ron. Is that why you're here? To tell me how bad I look?" Harry sat down in the chair by the fire and pulled off his socks and placed his feet nearer the fire.

"Apparently, Snape was concerned that you were ill, so he Flooed my dad, then my dad Flooed me. So I came to check on you. From what Snape told dad, you must have been thinking about Ronnie?"

Snape had been concerned? That wasn't the Snape Harry remembered. Then again, the Snape who had left half an hour earlier wasn't the Snape of eleven years ago, even if he looked like he was. "Yeah. I took Snape into the room to see if maybe he'd see it and remember something. He didn't, but he felt two children's magical signatures. One of them was his."

"And the other was Ronnie's."

"Yeah."

"You didn't know he was a wizard, right?"

"I thought he was like his dad. I didn't know, Ron." Harry didn't want to talk about it. "I need to go find Snape; we need to finish our talk."

"You look like you need a good night's sleep."

"Yeah, well, that's not going to happen; I owe Snape an explanation. Your dad shouldn't have bothered you, and you shouldn't have Flooed; we're not supposed to use the Floo unless it's an emergency."

"My dad is the Minister for Magic, and he told me to Floo you, so I think it's okay, Harry."

"Breaking the rules? You sound like me now." Harry grinned. A memory of a much younger Ron not speaking to Harry, because he thought Harry had put his name in the Goblet of Fire, came to mind. That boy had been jealous of Harry on and off for seven years. That had long ago abated, but Harry knew that it meant a lot to Ron that his father was Minister for Magic; his family had finally achieved some notoriety, and Harry thought no one deserved it more than the Weasleys.

"Tell him I'm fine. I might go for a walk, then if it isn't too late, I'm going to try to find Snape."

"Okay. Floo me or Hermione if you need us."

After Ron left, Harry stoked the fire and went into the kitchen to find something to eat, but found that he was in need of food; all he had was beans and bread. Perhaps he should heed Minerva'a advice and use the house-elves to bring him something to eat, but he preferred preparing his own meals when he didn't go to the Great Hall… Ronnie's doing.

Ronnie hadn't liked the house-elves, so whenever he'd stayed with Harry, house-elves had stayed away, and as Harry became more accustomed to their absence, he decided he didn't need them. Perhaps now he needed them again.

After he ate, Harry sat at his desk and took out his quill and parchment so he could compose a brief message for Solitas to take to Malfoy.

_Draco_

A situation has arisen that you might be able to help with. Are you free tomorrow night? This is important. Let me know if we can meet.

Harry

* * *

Severus stepped out onto the Astronomy Tower and wrapped his cloak tighter around him as he approached the battlement. He hadn't been here since the night he killed Albus, and he knew it wasn't a good idea for him to be here, but he had been restless, and this is where he had ended up.

His thoughts were on Potter — he had been more than merely upset earlier: he had been distraught. The look in his eyes was similar to how it had looked the previous night when he and Severus had met on the grounds below.

As his eyes scanned the grounds of Hogwarts, Severus's thoughts went back to that night of the Battle of Hogwarts. In his life, Severus had known fear, but he had never really experienced it in such an intense way as he had then. No matter that he had prepared, he had found himself almost too terrified to speak when the Dark Lord had asked him a question. Then when he had realized what the Dark Lord's intentions were, the fear had literally paralyzed him. The pain he had felt was worse than any Cruciatus he had ever been under, and he had thought he was going to die. When he had given Potter his memories, and then again when he had told Potter to look at him, he had wanted so badly to ask Potter to help him, but his pride had prevented him from doing so. It was sad thinking that he would have rather died than to have received help from a Potter, but the one time had been traumatizing enough and had kept him from seeking it a second time.

Potter…

Was that him walking by the lake? Of course it was; who else would be out in this weather? Severus sighed: the boy... not boy... man... wizard didn't have the sense of a troll. It was freezing out, yet Potter had on jeans and a short sleeved shirt, and he was barefoot. Severus had half a mind to go down there and tell Potter to cease acting like a brainless twit, but he wouldn't. Potter might catch cold, but that would serve him right.

"Severus?"

How had his mother known where to find him? She had always told him that she had a sixth sense that allowed her to feel him. He hadn't ever believed that, but she did have an uncanny ability to find him. "Mother?" Severus turned from watching Potter, and smiled. "What are you doing out here?"

"I wanted to talk to you, and I had an idea that you might have come here."

"You do know me well. When I left the dungeon, I began walking, and this is where my legs led me."

"You miss Albus a great deal, don't you?"

"I do. For all of you, it has been twelve years since he died, but for me, it has only been a year. I miss his council. Yes, I know what you are about to say, and yes, he did talk to me through the portrait, and he helped me by doing so, but that was not anywhere near the same."

"No, I suppose it wasn't, but it was better than not having him there at all, Severus."

His mother spoke the truth: Portrait Albus would always be preferable to no Albus. "Did you notice that he wouldn't even look at me last night?"

"I did, but I think you'll find out that his silence was a request from Minerva. It seems that our former Headmaster has been asked to allow this situation to evolve without interfering. I gather from what Minerva has told me that Harry was becoming too dependent on what Albus told him."

That made sense; Potter had always thought highly of Albus, and Albus certainly had used that to his advantage, just as he had taken advantage of another student... perhaps not precisely the same — Severus had been a Death Eater and Potter hadn't. "He still could have at least acknowledged me."

"Yes, he could have, and I could have reacted like the mother I am instead of someone who was upset over losing something that she really didn't lose. I really am sorry about the way I acted last night, Severus."

Just as Minerva had predicted. Truth be told, Severus had known from the moment he first saw his mother that his mother and him would be fine. "You apologized earlier; no need to do so again. It must have been a shock for all of you to see me again."

"That it was, Severus."

"You didn't tell me that I had been kidnapped previously. Arthur says I was uninjured, but the way he said it suggests otherwise."

"You weren't hurt physically, but the potion they gave you caused you to begin having memories from your days as a student and Death Eater. They eventually went away, but you were rather upset by them."

A child having memories of death, betrayal, torture — none of the memories could have been easy for a child to deal with. Severus shivered and pulled his cloak even tighter around him.

"Will you tell me about how I was as a child… a happy child?" Severus asked his mother. Immediately, her face brightened. Severus wanted to know about his childhood, but even more than his wanting to know, he knew his mother needed and wanted to talk about this.

"Of course I will, Severus, but let's go to my rooms; it is frigid out here. It is beyond my comprehension how men can sometimes be so reckless; you must be freezing, and I see that someone else had the same idea you did. Harry's going to catch cold out there. You did go talk to him earlier, didn't you?"

"I did. It seems that a comment I made reminded him of Ronnie." It was only a guess that Potter's sudden onset of extreme melancholy had to do with Ronnie, but Severus thought he was probably correct in his assumption.

"You know about Ronnie?" asked his mother.

Severus shook his head. "All I know is what Arthur told me: tthat Ronnie's father and Harry were together, and that Ronnie died."

"He had leukemia."

"How old was he?"

"He was eleven when he died."

"The same age I was when I lived with Potter."

"Yes."

"What happened to Ronnie's father?"

"He made Harry leave him… and Ronnie. Brian couldn't accept what was happening to his son and he just closed down. He and Harry were so very good for each other; it about killed him when Brian made him leave."

"Was Brian a Muggle?"

"Yes. Harry has never been completely comfortable about his sexual preference, so he tried to not date within the wizarding world."

Severus didn't miss the look his mother gave him, or the look she then gave Potter. The little grin on her face was unsettling, and sent warning signals.

"I think it is time we went inside, Mother."

"I'd have to agree with you. I certainly do wish Harry would do the same."

"Potter has always had a rather stubborn streak; he'll end up with the wizard's flu just to spite everyone."

"You are positively horrible, my son," his mother said as she shook her head.

"I am, aren't I?"

"It certainly is good to have you back, Severus. I've missed you."

* * *

_Harry,_

If you can meet me tomorrow night at seven, then we can talk. I am going out of town Wednesday for the remainder of the week. Let me know if you can meet. If not, then we can meet Sunday evening when I return.

Draco

Harry quickly scribbled that yes he could meet at seven, then sent it off with Solitas. He had wanted to finish speaking to Snape tomorrow night, but he needed to speak to Draco, so Snape would have to wait. That done, he stepped into the shower and closed his eyes as the hot water ran over his body and thawed his cold feet. As the water reduced his shivering, he decided that going outside in his bare feet hadn't been the best idea, but at the time he hadn't exactly been thinking clearly.

After he stepped out of the shower, Harry walked into the sitting room to get his dressing gown; he was out of pants, so he needed to get a house-elf to wash his clothes. It felt odd walking through his rooms naked, but it also felt somewhat nice. It reminded him of how he used to walk around naked when Brian was there with him.

Once the house-elf had taken his dirty clothes, Harry got in the bed and thought about Brian. It wasn't the smart thing to do, but he felt like it, so he did. Of course, he knew where his thoughts would lead him — he smiled — he hadn't wanked since before Severus had moved in with him, and he missed it.

He removed his dressing gown and got under the duvet, then turned on his side and grasped his cock with his right hand. It felt good, but he knew he needed a little help, so he summoned the lube and coated his cock liberally before he began to pump it quickly; he wasn't even trying to be gentle — he wanted to have a hard orgasm. A few minutes later, he shot his come onto the duvet and panted until his heart beat normally again. That had been intense. He found his wand and cleaned himself, then put out the fire and tried to sleep. In the past, a good wank had almost always assured him a good night's sleep.

* * *

His talk with his mother had gone well, and Severus found himself feeling somewhat better. She had helped him see that even though this situation was unfair, it could end up being a positive in his life, and she had ended their conversation by telling him that he had a responsibility to himself, and no one else.

As Severus entered his sitting room, he marveled at the fact that it had been one day since he had returned. He still felt like he didn't belong at Hogwarts, but perhaps that would change.

He was about to enter the kitchen when he heard a tapping at the window. It was late, and very few people knew about Severus being an adult again, so there were only a few people the letter could be from. Severus took the parchment from the owl and sent it on its way.

_Severus:_

I was to meet with Harry tomorrow morning during his free period, but another matter has come up that requires my immediate attention and I will not be able to make it to Hogwarts. Could you please send Harry a letter and ask him to meet you in your rooms during that time so you can tell him what you told me regarding Lucius? It is not imperative that he know right this moment, but I would rather him be in on this. He has been known to meet with Draco occasionally, and I would rather he be aware that we are watching both Lucius and Draco.

I truly am sorry to ask this of you, but I really do want Harry aware of this latest development.

I am trying to make it possible for you to talk to Lucius, but we need to be very certain that he is in fact behind this before we confront him. I will keep you apprised of any developments.

Arthur

Severus sighed; it seemed that he was going to be seeing Potter sooner than he had expected. He found parchment and a quill and wrote a short note asking Harry to meet him during his break. Then he set it on his bedside table. He had no plans to go out again tonight — talking to Potter; visiting with his mother; and going to see Poppy, so that she could tell him he still appeared to be normal — his night had been eventful enough already.


	23. Chapter 23

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M  
**Words**: 2,595  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

Mornings were not Harry's favorite time of the day. As he lowered his feet to the cold stone floor, he looked toward the window and silently cursed whoever had thought it prudent to interrupt his sleep. Owls usually made their deliveries during breakfast, so he knew that whatever it was must be important.

After he retrieved the parchment and sent the owl on its way, Harry opened it and sighed: it was from Snape, who wanted Harry to meet with him during his break. As much as he wanted to ignore the missive, he knew he wouldn't, but meeting with Snape was going to completely ruin Harry's morning. He had hoped to get some work done after Arthur left, but if Snape was the one meeting with him, Harry knew he'd get no work done since he had to meet Snape in his rooms down in the dungeon. That being the case, he needed to get some work done before he met with Snape, and that meant missing breakfast.

An hour and a half later, he leaned back on Snape's sofa and sighed after Snape told him about Lucius.

"And how can you be so confident that Steele… Malfoy… whatever his name is, isn't the one behind what happened to you? The results for the Veritaserum haven't come back yet; you said that yourself." Harry knew that what Snape said likely had merit, but he had actually begun to think Lucius Malfoy mightn't be as bad as he once thought.

"Did you not listen to a word I said, Potter? Cepheus Malfoy, as I knew him, was little more than a troll when it came to intelligence. Unless he had a brain transplant, he did not mastermind this. The results of the Veritaserum will be in this evening. Perhaps, when you have definitive proof, you'll believe me. Common sense is a virtue, Potter, one I use quite often. Would you believe someone who told you that Draco Malfoy was in love with you?"

"Of course not." What was Snape going on about? What did this have to do with what they were talking about?

"My hearing that Cepheus Malfoy masterminded what happened to me was akin to you being told Draco Malfoy was in love with you."

Harry shook his head. "That is flawed logic, Snape. You can't compare the two. You've been gone eleven years; a lot can happen in that time." But he did know that what Snape said was probably true.

"You'll have proof this evening, Potter."

"If Lucius did this, then why would he tell his son about it? Draco told me his father told him so that Draco would tell me."

"And that is most likely the truth. Lucius probably realized what he had done was wrong, and had second thoughts. A bit too late, but second thoughts, nonetheless."

"Do you think Lucius would lead you to his uncle if you went to talk to him?"

"If he wants to live, he will. Arthur has arranged a meeting with Lucius, and I am going to pay him a visit. I think that he'll be begging to tell the truth by the time I finish with him."

Harry didn't doubt Snape's words. "I'm meeting with Draco tonight regarding Magnolia. Maybe I should tell him we'll have to meet when he returns."

"No, I think you should go ahead and meet with him. I plan on using Draco to get Lucius to talk. From what you and Arthur have told me, Draco has been living a clean life, but he is a Malfoy, and he has information regarding what happened to me. He could very well be implicated in this. If his father doesn't want that to happen, he'll talk. If there is one thing that is important to Lucius, it is his son."

"Won't it be risky to show yourself? No one knows you are alive. If you're wrong, you could be placing yourself in more danger."

"I didn't know you cared, Potter."

Said with all the sarcasm of the old Snape. "I think I'd prefer you to call me Harry. I'm not your student, and hearing you say _Potter_ the way you do… I don't like it." Harry waited for the explosive response.

"Very well, _Harry_. I must admit to being surprised that you have reverted to calling me Snape. You did use my actual name last night when we were in Minerva's office."

"It doesn't seem right to call you Severus."

"Because that is what you called him before I came back?"

"Yeah."

"You really did like _me_ as an eleven-year-old?"

"Yeah. I can't explain it. You needed someone and I wanted to help. Not that I did, but I tried. It's hard, sitting here and looking at you, knowing he's gone. I probably shouldn't say this to you, but I cared for that little boy. He made me smile and laugh, and I haven't done either in a long while."

"I apologize if I upset you last night talking about the magical signatures. That was not my intention."

"Someone told you about Ronnie."

"When I was in Arthur's office I saw a picture of a young boy and you, and Arthur told me who he was and that he had died. Then last night I was out on the Astronomy Tower with my mother and we saw you walking by the lake. I mentioned that I had upset you, and she told me about Ronnie."

"I'm glad she told you. Brian was a Muggle. I had no idea that Ronnie was a wizard. Maybe that's why nothing worked for him. We tried everything, but he just got worse and worse. I kept telling Brian we needed to take him to St. Mungo's, but he refused to use magic to heal his son."

"Our world can be intimidating to outsiders; you know that, Harry."

Yes, Harry knew that all too well — he had been an outsider once. "But he should have trusted that I knew that magic might have helped Ronnie."

"It does no one any good to dwell on the past. I understand that now more than ever."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Harry said as he looked at the clock on the wall. "It's time for my first class of the day. Thanks for telling me about Lucius; I won't say anything to Draco about it. It's going to be quite enough to ask him the one question I have."

Harry returned to his office and retrieved what he needed for his fourth years, then made his way to his classroom. His meeting with Snape had actually not gone that badly, and Harry was hopeful that they could eventually cease their ill-feelings; the past was behind them.

By the time he sat down to eat lunch, Harry was hungry and frazzled — he was one incident away from needing to take a calming draught, which, incidentally, his fourth years had been learning about. How was it that fourth years could act worse than first years? It made no sense. He certainly had never been that immature.

Snape would have flayed Harry alive had he ever stuck his partner's hand in a cauldron filled with frothing liquid. Harry had considered it when one of his Gryffindors had thought she'd be swotty and injure a Slytherin, but he'd settled on detention for the remainder of the year, and a meeting with the Headmistress. Harry was secretly hoping that Minerva would suspend the witch who was responsible — there was no excuse for what she had done. Fortunately, Madam Pomfrey had been able to stabilize Mr. Lucas, but it would be a long while before he could participate in potions again; it was a wonder he still had a right arm.

When he heard Eileen's voice, Harry looked up and tried to smile as she took her seat on the other side of him.

"I heard what happened to Mr. Lucas. Minerva is meeting with Miss Moore. I passed her as she was on her way up to Minerva's office, and she looked terrified."

"Good. It'd serve her right to be suspended. I can't believe she would do such a thing." Harry would never understand how people could do such mean things to others.

"So you probably aren't aware that Mr. Lucas and Miss Moore were boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Harry gaped. "Seriously?"

"Yes. Word has it that Mr Lucas decided this morning that he didn't want to be Miss Moore's boyfriend anymore, and she was overly upset."

Harry's mind took him back to _Oppugno_. Even though Hermione's method of getting back at Ron had not injured him nearly as much as what had happened to Lucus, he had to admit that a woman scorned could be a dangerous thing.

"Seems as though she has some problems if that would set her off and cause her to do something so dangerous," Harry said, shaking his head and trying to calm himself; he knew his adrenaline was running high. "I can think of a thousand other ways she could have reacted that wouldn't have resulted in one of my students almost losing their arm."

"Yes, I agree. I guess we'll find out soon what will happen to her."

As they were talking, Derrington sat down.

"How is Mr. Lucas, Harry?"

"He'll be fine; he's in hospital wing."

"I'm surprised they didn't send him to St. Mungo's."

"If it would have been any worse, they would have."

After lunch Harry had third years, and they were much better behaved. He marked papers while they were reading, and by the time the students left, he had caught up… for now. Next lesson would see the students turning in their foot long essays on _Phoenix_ _Tears and their uses in Potions_.

After his final lesson of the day, Harry Flooed Minerva to see how her meeting with Miss Moore had gone and found out that the fourth year had been taken out of Hogwarts by her parents. Apparently she had been giving them trouble for a while. There was a small part of him that felt badly for her that she had been removed, but more of him was relieved; he didn't need the added worry of having someone in his room, as well as his house, who was a danger to others.

During supper, Derrington and Harry discussed an article in the latest Defense Against the Dark Arts journal, and they scheduled another duel for the following week. Their attempt at their previous weekly duel sessions had never had a chance to work, so Harry looked forward to possibly making this a weekly exercise.

By the time Harry returned to his rooms at half seven, the house-elves had washed his clothes and had restocked his kitchen. It was nice to have a clean home again. Harry was tempted to have a shower but he was running late as it was, and he didn't want to keep Draco waiting since this meeting was important. He performed a quick cleaning charm on himself and grabbed his broom.

A half hour later he sat in the sitting room of Malfoy Manor drinking a butterbeer and waiting for Draco, who was conversing with someone via Floo in the drawing room. Did people actually draw in a _drawing room_? Harry wondered what Draco actually did. Did he even work? Harry had never thought about it before; he hadn't cared. He still didn't, but he was curious. Would Draco be a good father? Was Harry mental for even thinking that Malfoy might want to take in his cousin and be her guardian? Probably so, but as he saw it, Draco was as good as anyone else, and he was family — that had to count for something. Or not. All Harry had to do was think about the Dursleys — they had been family, yet they had treated their nephew and cousin with all the compassion that a crup pays a kneazle.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Harry. I promise there will be no further interruptions," Draco said as he poured himself some tea. "What did you come here to ask me? You've been fidgety since you arrived. If you were a girl, I'd say you fancied me."

Harry glared and opened his mouth to make a retort, but then shut it. His need to ask Draco what he had come to ask was more important than having a bit of fun, so he ignored the comment. "Cepheus Malfoy has a daughter: Magnolia. With her dad being involved in what happened to Snape, she needs a home. Will you think about letting Magnolia live here with you? She's so sweet, Draco, and I don't want to see her placed with just anyone. And you're family to her."

"Yeah, I am her cousin, but I don't know her, and I haven't the first clue as to how to be a guardian to a child."

"She's twelve, Draco; she just needs love and guidance. You can do that; I know you can."

"Even if I wanted to do this, there is no way the Ministry would approve me; they think I am working with my father. It doesn't matter how much proof I can give them, they will still find something that will keep me on their watch-list."

"Yeah, well, that might not be a problem for much longer. Don't ask, because I can't tell you. So, if the Ministry would allow you to do so, would you consider taking in Magnolia?"

"Of course I would. She's a Malfoy. Malfoy's take care of their own."

Harry smiled and felt such relief. As much as he had hoped Draco would say yes, he hadn't thought he would. "You will be allowed to do this, Draco."

"The Harry Potter of eleven years ago would not have reacted this way — he would have done everything in his power to keep me from being a guardian in this situation."

"Yeah well, I'd like to think I've matured a bit… a lot. Seems as though you have as well."

"Yes, well, when your mother is killed in front of you because she chose her son over her devotion to the Dark Lord, it makes you think. She risked it all for me, and when she died, it all seemed so pointless. I was tired of people hating me for who I was and who I wasn't."

"So you left."

"Yes, until my father called me back in August. I didn't want to return, but as always when my father needed me, I came running. Malfoys have to stick together."

Devotion to family was important to Harry, and if he had one, he'd do anything to protect them. "You aren't planning on leaving again, are you?"

"No. This is my home. Were Magnolia and Severus really friends?"

A look of unbelief crossed Draco's face, which Harry understood. "Yeah. I can't explain it, but they really did like each other. When I talked to her about Severus never coming back, her little face was so sad. Part of me wanted to take her to see the real Severus, but I knew that couldn't happen." Harry looked toward the window, then at the clock on the wall. "I need to go. I still have some things I need to do, and I have a full day tomorrow. I'll Floo you on Sunday evening with the latest."

As Harry flew back to Hogwarts, he thought that both his and Draco's mothers were probably looking down on their sons and thinking that their two boys had come a long way since their first meting eighteen years earlier.


	24. Chapter 24

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXIV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,559  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst and language  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

The last time Severus had been at Azkaban was thirty years earlier when he'd been accused of being a Death Eater. He had spent sixteen hours in a small, musty, dark cell that had been infested with rodents and their excrement, and other unidentifiable creatures. Dementors had hovered near his cell the entire time, waiting for him to let his guard down so they could swoop in and claim his soul.

Not even a day in the wizard prison, and Severus had lost weight, become ill, had sicked up the cell floor, and worst of all, he had had to sit in his own excrement because the _whatever_ _they called it_ that they had for the prisoners to relieve themselves with, had overflowed. Just thinking about it now made Severus feel ill.

Conditions had changed for the better over the three decades: no Dementors, no rats, and real facilities to relieve yourself — a haven for the criminally proficient.

Being within the walls of Azkaban as a visitor this time, Severus once again thanked Merlin that he had decided to become a spy for Albus. As the guard and he (with the help of an invisibility charm) had passed several of the cells on their way to meet with Arthur, Severus had seen former Death Eaters, and shuddered. He knew how close he had come to ending up in Azkaban for life, and it wasn't a pleasant thought. Even being in the prison now, when he was perfectly safe, Severus shivered.

As he waited for the signal to enter, Severus studied Lucius: the years had been kind to him. His hair was still as long and blond as ever, and his face showed only slight wrinkles. His clothing left much to be desired, but then again, Azkaban attire couldn't compete with the latest fashions for wealthy wizards.

Lucius answered Arthur's questions with such fluidity: he moved his hands, made eye contact, and looked as though he were an important businessman having a meeting with a client, instead of a prisoner being questioned by the Minister for Magic.

According to Arthur, Lucius should have been able to get out of Azkaban already, but a few members of the Wizengamot had been unwilling to let him go. It was illegal of course to keep him in after he had served his time, but knowing what Severus knew now, he didn't feel the least bit sorry for the man. He deserved to be where he was. In fact, he deserved to be kissed for what he had done, a fact that didn't give Severus any satisfaction. He and Lucius had been through a lot together and it was difficult to think that the Lucius Malfoy whom Severus had known all those years ago would do something as reprehensible as mess with someone's life like he had.

There was so much Severus wanted to know, and he was about to find his answers, or that was his hope. One thing he knew for certain was that his former friend was about to have the shock of his life. Severus smirked at the mere thought. He couldn't wait to reveal himself; to see the horror on Lucius's face, but more than that, he couldn't wait to hear the explanation for all of this.

The signal.

Severus stood and prepared to enter the other room. He was grateful that Arthur had allowed this. Arthur had told Severus he could say as much or as little as he wanted to. There was a part of Severus that didn't want to face Lucius and the reality of what had happened, but more of him wanted to stand in front of his former friend and show him what his meddling had done — it had erased eleven years. Severus wanted Lucius to squirm.

He placed a shaking hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly. The anticipation was pumping the adrenaline through his body, and he had to calm himself. As he pushed open the door, he watched as Lucius's head slowly turned, and as his grey eyes opened wide.

"Hello, Lucius," Severus said as he entered the small room which was furnished with only a table and four chairs.

"Severus."

"Surprised to see me?" Severus asked as he sat in the chair nearest Arthur.

"Should I be?"

"I guess not, Lucius. Grown men who are turned into infants and have to grow up again and then at age eleven are returned to the age they were when they were originally de-aged shouldn't be any surprise to you. After all, it was your doing." There was bitterness in Severus's every word, and he didn't try to hide it. Lucius had taken eleven years away from him — years that he would never get back. His mother and Harry and Minerva said he had been a happy child, so that was a positive, but it was a positive that Severus had no memory of.

"I beg pardon? I did not do this, Severus. You can ask Arthur. Shacklebolt gave me Veritaserum and questioned me."

"Oh yes. I read the transcript. Lucius, my _friend_, did you not think that your uncle's lack of intelligence would ever be noticed? Perhaps I am the only one who is still alive who can attest to how you once made Cepheus do your bidding for you, and how he was unable to follow the simplest of directives. What is his IQ? Sixty? There is no way he masterminded this. You disappoint me. If you're going to make up a story, make it a good one that people can't disprove."

"Severus, I give you my word that I had nothing to do with this. You know me better than that."

"Your word? Coming from someone who did not try to stop his wife's murder, I don't give _your word_ any weight. Oh, you didn't think I'd know about that? Minerva told me all about how you didn't even try to save your wife's life. A man who can sit by and allow his wife to be killed is not a man whose word holds any weight in my mind. And The Lucius I knew? He would have never done this to me. Did I mean so little to you that you would do this? Are you so petty that you thought this was proper revenge?"

Severus stopped and looked at Arthur. He knew the answer to his question, but he had to ask. "Would it be possible for Lucius and me to have a word alone?"

"You know I can't allow that, Severus."

"I didn't think so." Severus then looked back at Lucius and saw a look of smugness on his face. "I made a mistake, Lucius, and I apologized for it twelve years ago. No matter what I did, I didn't deserve what you did to me. You have made your choices and are paying for them. I wish they could bring in a Dementor right now and let them suck your sorry soul out of your head, but they won't — you'll have the opportunity to prove your innocence, but you are guilty and you know it. Did Arthur tell you that your son is being watched? Yes, Lucius: Draco. They think he helped you. Unless you tell us the truth, your son will end up in Azkaban. Do I think he had anything to do with what happened to me? Absolutely not. But the Malfoy name is not what it once was. So, unless you want your son to spend the remainder of his life in Azkaban, you better speak up."

Anger consumed Severus, and he tried to calm himself. He stared at Lucius and thought that it was a good thing that Arthur was present.

"I am sorry, Severus."

Severus glanced at Arthur. Was Lucius about to confess? Arthur was busy writing. Severus returned his attention to Lucius and continued to stare at him.

"It didn't go the way I had planned. I just meant for you to stay an infant for a week or two, but then they took me to Azkaban and there wasn't anything I could do. When they took me away, Cepheus had no place to stay so he returned to Paris. Then he showed up again a few months ago, saying some really bizarre things about a new Dark Lord and about having Snape as a follower. He wasn't making any sense. Severus, I have no idea what he did, but he must have found other people to help him. You'll probably never believe me, but I had nothing to do with these latest kidnappings. It was all Cepheus. I guess one of his friends decided to exploit what Cepheus knew. I agree with you: Cepheus could not have done what he did on his own, but I did not have anything to do with what happened to you after the initial de-aging."

Severus lifted his hand and brought it down on the table, hard enough to make Lucius flinch. "I don't care, Lucius. I could care less that you might be the most law-abiding citizen ever at this moment. The only thing I care about is that you played with my life. You took a human being and you decided to play Merlin? Who in the FUCK do you think you are? I have never been a happy person. I have never expected people to like me. I have done bad things. I deserve to be where you are right now. But, Lucius, I am a real person, with real feelings and real wants and needs. How dare you decide for me what my life is going to be like. I hate you, and I hope you die a miserable death. Before you leave this world, however, you will clear your son's name. He will not suffer for your stupidity."

"As I said, I am sorry, Severus."

"It's too late, Lucius. You had a true friend in me. I would have done anything for you… ANYTHING. I loved you. I loved you more than I loved myself. And this is how you pay me back? Fuck you, Lucius."

Not one tear had been shed; Severus felt good about that. He stood and walked to the door where the guard was waiting on the other side. "Thank you for letting me talk to him, Arthur."

"Thank you, Severus. I'll Floo call you when we are finished. If you ask the guard at the door, he'll give you the information you need to get out of here."

An hour later, Severus stood at his work table stirring a simmering potion — a calming draught. He hadn't thought talking with Lucius would affect him as much as it had, but he should have predicted that it wouldn't be easy.

He heard the Floo activate, so he turned off the fire and walked into the sitting room. It was Arthur, who looked tired as he looked through a file he had brought with him. He then handed a sheet of parchment to Severus.

"This is Lucius's confession. He continues to deny that he had anything to do with what happened to you after the initial de-aging to an infant. He did give an address for Cepheus, but as I had expected, no one lived there. Aurors are searching for him. I don't know that I believe Lucius, but it is possible that his uncle was behind the latest kidnappings. I know you have said that Cepheus wasn't smart enough to plan this on his own, but you know, better than anyone, that all Cepheus needed to do was find someone to help him, and he could have done this."

Severus nodded. He also remembered what Harry had said earlier about people changing. Perhaps Cepheus had a bit more intelligence now, but Severus doubted it. "It is possible. What about Draco?"

"Lucius cleared his son of any wrong-doing."

"What happens now?" Severus asked.

"You'll never believe it, but Lucius requested to be kissed."

The Lucius that Severus knew would never request to be kissed unless he had a secret he planned on taking to the grave with him. "Will that request be granted?"

"I am going to do my best to have his request carried out; not because he requested it, but because what he did to you is worthy of such a punishment."

Arthur's matter-of-factness regarding someone getting the kiss surprised Severus, but this was Lucius Malfoy they were talking about — a Death Eater — it had been Death Eaters who had killed Fred Weasley, according to Minerva.

"He is hiding something, Arthur; that is why he is willing to be kissed."

"He probably has many secrets, Severus. I know I shouldn't say this, but I look forward to seeing him kissed. I am not a vindictive person, but he contributed to my son's death, and I want to see him pay. I know he has been in prison for eleven years, but no matter how long he sits in there, it won't be enough. I want him to suffer... really suffer."

Severus understood and felt sadness that, at one point in time, he had willingly participated as a Death Eater. "I can understand that."

"After you left, Lucius seemed subdued; you really affected him, Severus."

There were only three people, as far as Severus knew, who knew what Severus was about to tell Arthur. Not that he wanted to talk about it, but he thought Arthur deserved to know the truth. "Lucius and I — we were involved in a relationship for about ten months. One night, when Lucius was gone, Narcissa and I had a bit much to drink and ended up making love. Lucius found us in his and Narcissa's bed."

"And this is why you think he did this to you, Severus?"

"Yes." Severus appreciated Arthur's not judging him, at least not by questioning him. "I would prefer this information not be shared with anyone else."

"Thank you for telling me, Severus. You have my word that I'll not share what you told me with anyone. I should go; Molly has been wonderful about my long hours, but I know she doesn't like me being away so much."

"Tell her I said hello, please, and will you please tell her… and this is for you as well, Arthur: I am so sorry that I cursed George's ear off. I've done many regrettable things in my life, but that is by far the worst — he was an innocent who had to pay for my remaining a spy. I wonder if it was even worth it; I don't think it was." Severus could feel his voice beginning to quiver, but he would not give in to his emotion.

"There's no need for apologies, but thank you. You need to go talk to George, Severus. He'll tell you that what you did was worth it because it allowed you to help Harry do what he needed to do."

Severus watched as Arthur disappeared, and as he walked into his bedroom, he gave a small laugh. Everything seemed to always come back to Harry, and it probably always would.


	25. Chapter 25

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,883  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

Severus straightened his robes and stood as Poppy entered the room. She had examined him and found nothing amiss, which he was relieved about, but he did wonder if anything had been done to him. Would he be fine one second, and the next feel compelled to go seek out whoever had done this to him? It was a disconcerting feeling.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Severus. A student came in complaining of pain in her side and I had to find her a vial of pain-relief potion. I need to ask Harry to restock my stores."

"I could do it, Poppy. I feel useless and need to do something." Severus retrieved his cloak and walked toward the door.

"I'll ask Harry. I'm sure he'd be happy for the help. I'll let you know tomorrow, Severus."

"Thank you, Poppy." Severus muttered a few words, then entered the main room of the hospital wing. A student with a bandage on his right arm was asleep, and a red-headed girl was lying on her side with her eyes open; she looked sad. As he approached the door, it opened and Harry entered. Severus was curious if Harry would be able to sense his presence, so he backed up against the wall. Harry walked over to the bed where the student had the bandaged arm, then about a minute later, he began to walk toward Poppy's office, but stopped when he saw the red-headed girl, who now had her eyes closed. Severus saw the look of concern on Harry's face. Who was the girl? Then he remembered being told about Magnolia Steele. Didn't she have red hair? This student must be her. It was strange to think that days earlier he had been an eleven-year-old who had been friends with this girl.

Once Harry entered Poppy's office, Severus thought about waiting for him, but there was no reason for him to do so, so he left the hospital wing. He passed the Grey Lady, but she didn't seem to sense his presence, or if she did, she didn't say anything. He turned into another corridor and, as he had on his previous visits to the hospital wing, noticed the areas of the castle that had been rebuilt after the Battle of Hogwarts — eleven years earlier in reality, but a few days prior, to Severus. He had the disconcerting feeling that his sense of being displaced would not dissipate anytime soon. How could it be that he had missed so much time? As he neared the Great Hall, his thoughts were interrupted by a barrage of noise. No matter that it was near curfew, students filled the entrance hall.

As Professor Snape, and then as Headmaster Snape, it had been his responsibility to send the students to their common rooms, but now he had no title, nor any responsibilities to anyone else. He didn't even have a sense of belonging. Severus's only safe haven ever, other than his mother, had confessed to de-aging him. These disturbing thoughts ran rampant as he passed the students and descended the stairs that would take him to his rooms.

His visit to Azkaban had made him feel dirty, so Severus decided he would have a shower. He entered his rooms and began to undress as he walked to the bathroom. As he removed his shirt, he turned his right arm so that his dark mark faced him. It was ugly and reminded him that when he'd received the mark, he had not only ruined his life, he had compromised his family's life as well.

He stepped into the shower and ran his hands through his hair and allowed the warm water to relax him as he shut his eyes and tried to clear his mind. He had been adept at this when he had spied for Albus because his life had depended on his ability to block others from his mind, but as with anything else, it took practice. No matter that to him it had been only a few days since he had last occluded his mind, it had been eleven years, and his mind needed to be retrained.

After his shower, Severus donned a pair of boxers, then put on his dressing gown before going to his kitchen and making a pot of tea. He sat at the kitchen table as it was brewing and thought about his meeting with Lucius. Lucius had always been an excellent liar, and Severus was certain the man wasn't telling the complete truth. There had to be more. Finding the truth might be difficult though, and Severus knew he might never know what really happened.

Tea in hand, he entered his work-room and began gathering what he needed to make the pain-relief potion. Even if Harry didn't want help, Severus knew that help would be appreciated.

As he added the first few ingredients, he thought about his future — he wouldn't remain at Hogwarts if he wasn't going to have anything to do. Was his house at Spinner's End still standing? The last time Severus had left it, he had heard a few other Death Eaters say they were going to burn it. If they had, it would not be a great loss. It held no happy memories, only ones of abuse and crying, of loneliness and longing for escape.

He could always go to Wales where his mother had taken him when he had been de-aged. His grandparents' house was there and it would be perfect for Severus. He would ask his mother about it the next time he saw her. If he moved to Wales then he could begin making potions and selling them. It would be the perfect way to begin anew. His life here had run its course, and he had done as he had been asked. Now it was time for him to live life for him. As his mother had told him the previous night, Severus owed it to himself to live a good and happy life.

As he added the last ingredient, Severus turned down the fire so the potion could simmer, and inhaled. Potion-making was such an exact art, one that most of his students failed to realize. Each potion had a distinct aroma, and the slightest variation could alter a potion's potency. As a student, Severus had lived for Potions lessons, and had it not been for Lily Evans, he would have been the best in his year. If anyone had to best him, he was glad it had been lily.

His wards alerted him that someone was about to enter his Floo. Wand out, Severus entered his sitting room and sighed as he watched Harry tumble out of the fire.

_Foolish boy._

"Might I ask what you are doing here at this late hour, Mr. Potter?" Severus asked before taking a sip of his tea.

"Poppy told me you offered to help with potions for her, and I wanted to tell you that I'd be happy to have you help," answered Harry, a grin on his face.

How could anyone look so happy this late at night? "You could have conveyed that message with a Floo Call."

"And it is good to see you, too, Severus. I also came down here to ask why you were spying on me in the hospital wing? I felt your presence. I've never been good with deciphering people's signatures, but yours, I know."

Severus was impressed. "I was not spying. Poppy had just finished examining me and, as I was leaving under the invisibility charm, you walked in. Perhaps it was wrong of me to not alert you to my presence, but I wanted to see if you could feel my presence. Tea?" Severus asked as Harry knelt by the fire and warmed his hands.

"Yeah, tea would be good."

A minute later Severus placed a cup in front of Harry, who was still staring into the fire. After Harry took it, Severus sat on the sofa. "That girl in the hospital wing — she is Magnolia Steele?" Harry nodded. "What ailment has her under Poppy's care?"

"She was complaining that her side hurt. Poppy gave her a pain potion, but it didn't help. If she isn't better by tomorrow, Poppy will perform a full medical on her."

It was easy to hear the concern in Harry's voice. "She will more than likely be fine by tomorrow. Who was the other student?"

"Lucas. Philip Lucas. One of my Gryffindors thought it would be amusing to submerge Lucas's hand in his cauldron of Calming Draught that was half an hour away from being complete."

That was bad. In all of Severus's years of teaching Potions, he had been fortunate that none of his students had ever done anything near as dangerous as that. "I am surprised he didn't lose his arm."

"Yeah, Poppy got to him straight away, so that helped."

"And your Gryffindor sadist?"

"Her parents took her out of Hogwarts. I hate to say it, but I'm glad."

Harry turned around to face him, and Severus was taken aback by how old Harry looked. Not really old, but older than Severus remembered him looking. "How was your meeting with Draco?"

"It went okay; he agreed to let Magnolia live with him. He's so different from how I imagined he would be."

"Draco has a good heart, Harry. He just never had a chance when he was younger. His father never allowed him to have a normal life."

"Yeah, I'm learning that. How did your meeting with Lucius go?"

Severus shook his head as he drank the last of his tea. "He confessed." Severus didn't have the strength to go into the story at the moment. "I need more tea." He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. Severus had wanted to hear Lucius confess, but the reality of it — looking at the person who was responsible for what had happened to him — it had been too much. He stared at the wall.

"Severus? Are you okay?"

What should he say? Should he say anything? "Would you be okay if your former lover confessed to de-aging you?" Severus pushed away from the counter and went to the table and sat down. He watched as Harry sat across from him, no doubt about to begin asking questions. "You should go. I need sleep. I'll start making the potions tomorrow."

"You don't lo—"

"HARRY, just go. I do not wish to talk about it." Harry remained where he was, and Severus stood and walked to the door. "I am not the eleven-year-old who depended on you, Harry. He is gone and he isn't coming back, so you can cease your incessant worrying about me. Now go." Harry then stood and stared at him.

"I know that, Severus. Believe me, I know that Severus, as I knew him, is gone. You don't have to remind me. Sorry, I bothered you." Then Harry shoved past Severus and left.

After he heard the Floo activate, Severus walked out into the sitting room. He hadn't meant to say the things he had to Harry, but he had, and perhaps it was for the best. Any thoughts of being a friend to Harry Potter were completely ludicrous. People such as Harry Potter were not friends with people like Severus Snape.


	26. Chapter 26

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXVI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,241  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Blood-Replenishing Potion  
bruise-healing paste  
burn-healing paste  
Calming Draught  
cough potion  
Invigoration Draught  
Murtlap Essence  
Pain-Relief Potion  
Pepperup Potion  
Skele-Gro  
Sleeping Draught  
Strengthening Solution  
wound-cleaning potion

Eight hours and 650 vials later, Severus waved his wand and the last label attached itself to a vial of wound-cleaning potion. Another flick and the vial joined the others. As always, after he finished making this many potions, Severus felt a sense of accomplishment as he looked at the results. There was little in his life that he was proud of, but his potion-making skills were one of the few things he took great pride in. Fortunately, his lack of practice hadn't affected his ability to brew potions as it had when he'd tried to occlude his mind the previous night.

Half an hour later, Severus entered the hospital wing. Poppy wasn't in her office, but she was often not in when Severus made his deliveries, so he made his way to the storeroom. Other than a few minor changes, it looked as it had the last time Severus had seen it. He carefully arranged the boxes of potions where they belonged, then took a mental inventory of everything. A parchment on the wall with Harry's illegible scrawl on it documented when new potions had been added. The last time Harry had restocked the hospital wing with potions, according to the parchment, was 27 October 2009. Severus found a quill on one of the shelves and added his name and the date: 25 November 2009.

That done, Severus left the storeroom and decided he would go visit with his mother. He needed to get away from Hogwarts and all of the memories, and she could help him. These thoughts were running through Severus's mind when he turned the corner and almost ran into Poppy.

"Oh good, I was hoping you would be here, Severus, Arthur needs to see you in his office."

It had to be about Lucius. "Do you know what he needs to see me about?"

"No, but it must be urgent."

When a pensive Severus stepped out of the fire into Arthur's office, Percy Weasley and his father were looking at a parchment. Arthur looked up as Severus cleared his throat, and when their eyes met, it was evident that Severus was about to receive bad news. He sighed. Hadn't he been through enough already? Did he deserve this? Then again, Severus knew it could always be worse. He knew that what he had been through was indeed bad, but many people in the world had been through much worse than he had, including the man who was about to give him bad news. Losing one's child — that had to be a hurt that was worse than any other. Severus was alive, he had his mother, and he had his health. And after the last few days he had experienced, what could be worse? Nothing that he could think of. He had been a child three days earlier; he was now eleven years younger than his birth year said he should be; he was no longer employed at Hogwarts; and the student he had loathed above all others now taught the subject Severus coveted. Certainly, whatever Arthur had to tell him could be no worse.

As much as Severus wanted to believe these thoughts, he couldn't. Worse news was always just a second away.

"Severus, please have a seat," Arthur said as he took off his glasses and placed them on the desk. "Percy, have them search the house and surrounding grounds once more, and send a message to Jones and tell him to guard Malfoy's cell. No one is to go in or out without my permission."

Severus watched Percy leave, then as Arthur took a seat behind his desk and retrieved a parchment from an open file. "What has happened, Arthur?"

"Cepheus Malfoy is dead. His body was found two hours ago on the property of the address Lucius gave us yesterday. Several boxes and other items were discovered inside the house. Ministry officials have been going through all of the documents and found this one, which you need to read."

Severus took the parchment and looked at Arthur, who looked somber, then looked down at the parchment in his hand. He opened it:

_Cepheus,_

Once I am in Azkaban I shall do my best to locate someone whom we can use as our go between. Adolpho is in Paris waiting for you and Magnolia. Unless you want to receive a similar fate to that of my late wife, you will keep the glamour on you and Magnolia at all times. Adolpho will be giving the two of you monthly doses, and you must take them. No one can ever know that Magnolia is the daughter of Severus Snape and Narcissa Malfoy. If you do not heed my warnings, the consequences will be dire.

Lucius

All activity around Severus ceased to exist; he was in a tunnel and there was no end in sight. He felt as if someone had punched a hole in his stomach, and he couldn't get enough air. He read the words on the parchment twice more before looking up at Arthur. "She is my daughter?"

"I am sorry you had to find out this way, Severus."

Severus thought about the previous night when he had seen Magnolia looking so sad and pale in the hospital wing. "The glamour — that must be what is wrong with her. It is fading and is depleting her strength." Severus stood and walked to the window. He had a daughter? There was a part of him that didn't want to believe the letter, but it had to be true, and it made everything else make more sense. This is why Lucius had done what he had.

"She is dying, Arthur. We have to save her."

* * *

Harry quickened his pace and wrapped his cloak tighter around him, but the wind was doing its best to prevent him from getting back to the castle. Why had he decided that today would be a good day to visit Hagrid? Minerva had warned him earlier that the winds were strong, but had he listened? Of course not. Whenever he had it in his mind to do something, he usually did it. Such stubbornness had nearly cost him his life on more than a few occasions.

His foolhardiness had been worth it today, however, because, after he'd eaten, he'd decided to go visit Hagrid. The half-giant knew how to make Harry laugh, and that is what Harry needed. So much had changed in the eighteen years that Harry had known Hagrid, but the one thing that hadn't was the smile that greeted Harry at the door whenever he visited the first wizard he had ever met.

Once inside Hogwarts, Harry took off his scarf and cloak as he made his way to the hospital wing so he could see how Mr. Lucas was doing. Poppy had said he'd probably have to remain for a couple of days so she could monitor him and make certain that an infection didn't settle inside his arm. As he neared the hospital wing, he heard several voices. He quickened his pace to see what was going on. When he opened the door to the back room he saw Poppy, Minerva, Eileen, and Severus standing around Magnolia's bed. Severus looked at him.

"Magnolia is my daughter, and she is dying."


	27. Chapter 27

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXVII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,480  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

There was very little moonlight, but Harry didn't need it to know that the Giant Squid was on the prowl. Perhaps it had found some fish. According to the calendar, it was the perfect time for fishing.

As he sat against the beech tree, Harry wrapped his cloak tighter around him. Hagrid had said it would snow; he said he smelled it in the air. Harry sniffed, but couldn't smell anything other than the usual smells. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the bark. Minerva had told him she would come talk to him after she finished her meeting with Severus, Eileen, and Arthur, but that had been over three hours ago, and Harry had become impatient waiting in his rooms, so he had decided to take a walk.

Was it true? Was Magnolia really Severus's daughter? It had to be true, but… Who was her mother? Hadn't Severus said he and Lucius had been lovers? Not that it mattered — Harry had been with both wizards and witches.

"Harry?" Severus's voice called out, breaking the silence that had previously been interrupted only by sounds of the Giant Squid making its way through the lake. "Your level of stupidity never ceases to amaze me. It is -7 degrees out here. If you are interested in what I have to say, you'll follow me."

When he entered Severus's sitting room, Harry removed his scarf, gloves, and cloak and hung them by the door, then stood in front of the fire to warm himself.

"Your judgment leaves much to be desired, _Mr. Potter_. Does it not register in your mind that freezing weather just might not be good for you to be out in? What compels you to do these inane things that you do?" Severus asked as he took a seat on the sofa.

"Thank you for caring, _Mr. Snape_. Your concern fills me with such warmness. And to answer your question, the thing that compels me is the same thing that compelled you to treat me as if I were the scum of the earth for six years. It's who I am." Harry smirked, but he hadn't come here to be talked down to or to get into a verbal sparring match. "Could we please dispel with these _niceties_, Severus? I've been waiting for three hours to find out what is going on." Harry sat in one of the chairs by the fire (there were now two; previously, there had been one).

"Very well, but do not interrupt me once I begin. I am only going to say this once, Harry, and I need not tell you that nothing I say should ever leave your mouth. I am trusting you enough to tell you this information because you played a rather significant role in my life while I was here at Hogwarts as a student for the second time; please do not give me reason to lose that trust."

As foreign as it was to hear Severus speaking cordially to him, Harry was glad for it. Miracles did happen. "Fair enough."

"As you know, I returned to the Dark Lord the summer after your fourth year. Soon thereafter, Lucius Malfoy and I began a relationship. It continued until he was arrested and sent to Azkaban after the debacle at the Ministry. Two months later, Narcissa and I began a relationship. She left for Europe soon after and I didn't see her again until the summer of 1997 when Lucius escaped from Azkaban. I continued to see both of them. One evening, a few weeks before the Dark Lord decided that Malfoy Manor would serve as his headquarters, Lucius was called to meet with the Dark Lord, but I remained at Malfoy Manor. Narcissa and I consumed far too much wine, which resulted in us being reckless. Lucius caught us together.

"When they found Cepheus's body, several boxes of documents were discovered, and one of the letters, that just happened to be near the top, was a letter from Lucius to Cepheus that mentioned the fact that Magnolia was Narcissa's and my daughter. Narcissa must have discovered that she was pregnant soon after she and I became intimate; that is why she left for Europe. I have no idea what happened after that but perhaps as more of the documents are read, more information will be uncovered."

Harry had no idea what to say. What had happened certainly did make more sense now. "Do you think that is why Narcissa was killed?"

"I have no doubt that is why she was killed. Lucius loved her and she loved him, but he did not share, and I knew once he found us together, that her life was in danger. I regret that I was not in a position to help her."

The thought of Lucius Malfoy having his wife killed, then having Severus de-aged, made Harry so angry. "So Lucius was behind everything," Harry said, wishing that he could go and hex Draco's father.

"I believe so."

"Will Magnolia be okay?"

"I don't know. Flitwick is going to remove her glamour in the morning. She is extremely weak, but Poppy thinks that with time, she'll be okay. I received a harsh rebuke after I informed you that Magnolia's condition was dire. Poppy told me that no matter how dire her situation was, I was to never talk about it in front of Magnolia. I think I have much to learn about having a child. My mother and I have decided to take Magnolia to Wales so she can recover there."

That made sense. Severus's reemergence as an adult had yet to be publicly acknowledged, and both Severus and Magnolia needed their space to get to know one another. It was for the best, but Harry found himself not wanting them to go. He had come to depend on Severus being near."When will you go?"

"Once Magnolia is stable."

"So how are you coping with all of this?" Perhaps Harry was delving into territory he shouldn't, but he was genuinely concerned for Severus. The man had been a child a few days earlier and now he was an adult again and had a twelve-year old child who was extremely ill.

"The truth? Not very well. I find it difficult to believe I have a child. I am grateful my mother will be able to help me."

"Will you remain in Wales?"

"I imagine so; there is certainly nothing keeping me here."

"But Magnolia will come back to Hogwarts when she is better?"

"Yes. If she is well enough, she'll return after Christmas break."

"When I walked in the hospital wing earlier, Magnolia was asleep. Has she seen you?"

"She was medicated so it is doubtful that she'll remember anything from our meeting, but yes, she did see me. She doesn't know anything about what is going on, however. She asked if I was her friend Severus. She knew about me being de-aged to a child eleven years ago, so I guess she put two and two together. It was quite a shock that she figured it out. I was worried what her reaction would be, but she smiled and said she hoped I could be her teacher someday. I am not looking forward to telling her I am her father, nor am I looking forward to talking to Draco. I don't think he is going to be too pleased with me when he finds out that his mother and I had a child together."

Draco. Harry's heart sped up; he didn't have a good feeling about Draco. No matter that Draco had always looked up to Severus, Harry didn't think that Draco would hesitate to try to get Magnolia away from Severus. Perhaps he was wrong — he hoped so. "Yeah. You're probably right about that. What time is Flitwick going to remove her glamour?"

"As soon as she wakes up."

"I'll come by during my break."

"She'll like that. She asked about you."

Harry grinned. "She's a very special little girl. She found a way to get through to you when no one else could."

"Yes, and that is what makes this entire situation awkward. At some point I will have to tell her that I am her father. I am not sure that a twelve-year-old will be able to resolve the two: the same person as her eleven-year-old friend and then adult father."

Yes, Harry knew that wouldn't be an easy conversation. "She will; it might take time, but I think she'll be fine. And as much as I don't want to, I need to get to bed. Six o'clock comes far too quickly as it is." Thanks for telling me about everything." Harry stood and retrieved his cloak, scarf, and gloves.

"You will remember to use discretion regarding what we have talked about tonight?"

"I told you I wouldn't say anything, Severus."

"See that you don't."

Hand on the door, Harry shook his head and sighed. "See you in the morning."


	28. Chapter 28

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXVIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,329  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

A stack of essays needed to be marked, and owl post needed to be opened and answered, but those things would have to wait. Harry had told Severus he would see Magnolia during his break, and that was what he was going to do. If he had time, he also needed to stop by Minerva's office in order to tell her that he would be remaining at Hogwarts over the Christmas break.

When he entered the main room of the hospital wing, Harry was happy to see that Philip was awake. He looked much better than he had the previous evening.

"Hi, Professor Potter."

"Hi, Philip. Feeling better today?"

"Much better, thank you. Madam Pomfrey said I can leave this afternoon."

"Are you able to move your arm any further today?" Harry breathed a sigh of relief when Philip's arm moved normally. Harry was responsible for his students' well-being, and he knew he could be the one held responsible if anything bad happened to Philip. "If you get a chance to stop by my office this afternoon, we can talk about what you will be doing for the remainder of term."

"Yes, sir."

Madam Pomfrey chose that moment to enter the room so she could examine Philip's arm. Harry took his leave and entered the back room. Magnolia was asleep, as was Severus, who was seated in a chair by the bed, his hair hiding most of his face. The resemblance between father and daughter was eerie. Magnolia looked very much like the young Severus had looked, with the exception of her nose, which was most definitely Narcissa's. Harry thought that Severus must have been relieved about that.

Two days earlier, Harry had been afraid that Magnolia might end up with a family who wouldn't love her, and now she had a father. Yes, her father was Severus Snape, who had never been the easiest person to get along with, but Harry had an idea that Severus would be exactly the father that Magnolia needed him to be.

Poppy entered and Harry watched as she placed a Silencing Charm around the two of them.

"She didn't have a good night, but she seems somewhat improved this morning. Severus has been here since eleven. I told him to go get some proper sleep, but he refused to leave."

"He'll be fine," Harry said as he looked at Severus. All-nighters at hospital — Harry wasn't a stranger to those. He had spent many a night sitting in an uncomfortable chair as Ronnie had struggled to breathe and live. "I guess Severus was happy that Magnolia has Narcissa's nose?"

"Yes, and she also has Nacissa's blue eyes."

Harry nodded as he looked toward the door. "I need to go talk to Minerva. Tell Severus I stopped by to see Magnolia. I'll try to come back later today."

"I'll tell him."

As Harry approached the gargoyle, Derrington was descending the staircase.

"Harry, you're just the person I needed to talk to. I see that you are about to go talk to Minerva, but perhaps we could talk later?"

"Yeah. I should be in my office this afternoon. Just stop by whenever."

By the time Harry sat down across from Minerva's desk, he didn't have much time before his next lesson started. He watched as Minerva retrieved a file from her bookshelf, then as she sat down.

"What can I do for you, Harry?"

"I won't be going home for Christmas break; the house won't be ready until February, so I wanted to let you know that I'll be here."

"Of course I am happy you'll be here, but you would rather stay here then go to Ron and Hermione's?"

"I'll be spending Boxing Day with them, but they are going to Hermione's parents' home for Christmas."

"I know how much you were looking forward to being in your own home for Christmas, but I must admit that it will be wonderful having you here with us. I was thinking that it would be rather quiet and not festive without Derrington, but your presence will brighten the students' moods."

"Derrington won't be here? Where is he going? He's always here, at least on Christmas Day."

"He is leaving Howarts. His wife is running for some important office and he is going to campaign for her full-time."

Derrington had been one of those teachers who'd said he wanted to teach until he had to retire, and he had even joked that he might end up like Binns. Harry would miss their talks and dueling sessions. "I can't believe he's going to leave."

"Neither can I. He is so good with the students. I'll be sad to lose him. Harry, I wasn't going to mention this for a few more days, but since you are here, I have a rather huge favor."

Minerva's demeanor was suddenly much more serious, and Harry knew why. Derington's leaving was a surprise, but now that Harry knew that was going to happen, the favor Minerva needed to ask was no surprise. "Severus. You want me to let him teach Potions and for me to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts." Harry had known for the last few days that this _favor_ would eventually be asked, but it didn't make it any easier to actually hear someone asking him to give up teaching Potions.

"Yes, Harry, that is what I am asking. I know how much you love potions, but you can teach Defense Against the Dark Arts just as well as you teach Potions. Severus cannot teach Defense Against the Dark Arts for reasons we do not need to discuss."

Being a Death Eater, killing a Headmaster, cursing off someone's ear… no, the reasons Severus Snape could never teach Defense Against the Dark Arts again didn't need to be discussed. There was every possibility that Severus wouldn't be allowed to teach Potions, either, but Harry had an idea that he'd be allowed to do so.

Harry didn't want to give up teaching Potions, but he knew that Severus deserved another chance. He stood and walked to the door, and tried to figure out what to do. "Yes, I think that would be the best for everyone, and that would also mean Severus can be near Magnolia."

"Thank you, Harry. I wouldn't ask you to do this for anyone else. I think we all owe Severus a debt that can never be repaid. I wish there were another way, but if there is another way, I haven't thought of it."

Albus gave a nod. Harry smiled, and it was genuine. He had done a lot of growing up over the past five years, but at this moment, he felt as if he had finally grown up: he now knew what it felt like to make a decision based on what would be best for someone else instead of him.

* * *

One of Severus's earliest memories was of his parents and him at a play park. He remembered watching a kite that another boy had: It had been bright yellow, with a long purple tail on the end. Severus had been mesmerized as he'd watched it climb higher and higher into the sky and as the little boy ran after it as he held onto the string. Severus had asked his father if he could get a kite, and his father had said no, that Severus was not responsible enough. That had been the last time Severus had asked his father for anything.

As he watched Magnolia sleep, Severus made a promise to his daughter that he would be there for her, and that he would never dismiss her because she was a child.

She was his child. Even looking at the little face that looked so similar to his, Severus shook his head. It was unbelievable, yet true.

"Your mother would have loved you, Magnolia. I'm so sorry that you'll never get to know her and that she'll never get to know you."


	29. Chapter 29

**itle**: To Live Again: Part XXIX  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,472  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

There were a plethora of bad memories associated with the circular room Severus now sat in, but none worse than the night Severus had discovered that Harry was probably going to have to die in order to finally defeat the Dark Lord. Never before had Severus felt so helpless. He had helped Lily's son live and suddenly he had been asked to help the boy die. It hadn't been fair.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Severus. How is Magnolia?" asked Minerva as she sat behind her desk.

"She is improving. If you could tell me why I am here, I would very much appreciate it; I do not wish to be away when Magnolia wakes."

"Very well, Severus. Sean Derrington, our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, is leaving at term. Would you consider teaching Potions next term?"

Harry taught Potions. "Is Mr. Potter leaving as well?"

"Harry is not leaving us. He has agreed to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Why would Harry agree to this? "I am aware of how much he enjoys teaching Potions. I find it difficult to believe that he would willingly agree to this."

"He wants you to teach Potions."

Severus looked up at the portrait of Albus, who was looking at him, awaiting Severus's answer. What had been said to Harry for him to agree to give up teaching a subject which he loved? "I will not take Potions away from Harry, Albus. I am aware that my teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts is out of the question, but I would rather not teach than take Potions from Harry."

"But you will, Severus. I know how much you want this, and I also know how much Harry wants you to teach again."

_But you will_. So Severus was still following orders? Perhaps not an order per se, but it certainly resembled a missive such as the ones Severus had received and followed for years.

This wasn't fair to Harry, and every part of Severus wanted to say no. However, he nodded. Did he have a choice? Not really. He had a daughter who depended on him, and he needed a way to support her. "I'll do it," he said, resignation in his voice. Then he stood and left the office, angry that Harry had been asked to give up teaching what he loved.

When he reentered the back room of the hospital wing, he was surprised to see Harry, but the timing couldn't have been better. "Harry, may I speak to you in Poppy's office?" He waved his wand again and was once again invisible, but became visible once he and Harry were in Poppy's office.

"I accepted the Potion's position, but I want to know why you're willing to give up teaching a subject you so love? And I want the truth."

"I want you to be here, Severus; I don't want you to go away."

That is what Severus had thought. "I'm not the Severus you want me to be, Harry, and that is never going to change. It's only been a few days, so I can understand how it is easy for you to look at me and still think of the eleven-year-old Severus, but over time, you are going to realize that I am nothing like him. I can never be to you what he was. He needed you. Do you understand what I am saying?" It wasn't difficult to see that his words had hurt Harry, which Severus hadn't wanted to do, but it was better this way. Harry would get over his hurt and would be fine.

"Yeah, Severus, I think I do. I'm sorry if I've assumed you'd want to be friends. It's been really difficult these last few days. For the past three months I felt needed and it was good for me. It kept me from thinking about Ronnie. Now both Ronnie and the eleven-year-old Severus are gone. But I'll be fine. I'm Harry Potter, after all, right?"

Melodramatic as ever, but Severus understood and felt badly for Harry, whose entire demeanor changed. Where there had been sadness, now there was an unreadable expression. "Yes, you are Harry Potter. If you decide that you want to continue teaching Potions, tell Minerva. I don't want to take away something you love, and I know you love Potions." The blank expression on Harry's face briefly morphed into something else that resembled pain, but then there was nothing once again.

"I won't change my mind, Severus. Tell your mum I'll talk to her later; I need to go."

After Harry left, Severus stared at the door and wondered what he had just done. What was he to do now? This was such a nightmare. Not that he regretted having a daughter — he didn't, but his being de-aged and then returned to that same age eleven years later — just thinking about what he had been put through; what his mother had been put through — it was enough to make Severus want to go to Azkaban, find Lucius Malfoy, and strangle him.

* * *

Harry's thoughts as he flew over Hogsmeade centered on Severus and what he'd said to Harry about not being what Harry needed. It had been true a few days earlier. Harry had wanted to have the little boy back, but now he wanted Severus — the older Severus — to be a part of his life. Perhaps it was only because he missed the younger Severus and didn't want to let go. So many things had been taken from Harry over the past year, and maybe he wasn't ready to lose Severus as well. But he was losing him, and he had to accept it.

Minerva had been right to say that Harry was too dependent on others, but he didn't know how else to be — it had to do with him growing up lonely — he didn't like to be alone, which made no sense when he thought about the house he had bought earlier in the year. There were no other houses anywhere near it, and he had bought it because it would give him plenty of privacy. He was a constant contradiction, even to himself.

A few hours later he landed near a copse of trees on the edge of his property and looked at his house. They had already removed the conservatory, and the results pleased Harry. He was tempted to enter the house, but he didn't want to interrupt the workers, and he thought once he entered the house, he might not want to leave. Instead he kicked off and flew to the cemetery where Ronnie was buried. He hadn't planned on ever returning after the funeral, but now he needed to be near the place where Ronnie was buried.

He found the small headstone and knelt before it.

_Ronald Michael Collins_

March 12, 1998 ~ March 16, 2009

One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.*****

Harry wiped the tears but didn't try to stop them from falling. Ronnie had been the one to choose the epitaph — when he found out he was ill, he had told his dad that if he died, he wanted that quote to be on his headstone. He knew it was most likely too late for him, but he also knew that because of what he was going through, someone else might live.

"I miss you so much, Ronnie. Everyone at Hogwarts misses you as well. Hagrid still has the box of toys and books that you left at his house. I asked him if he wanted me to take them with me, and he said no one would ever take them away because that had been your special place and he wanted to remember you."

Harry reached into his cloak, retrieved a letter, and placed it against the headstone. "Professor McGonagall gave this to me when I told her I was coming to see you. You were a wizard, can you believe that? This is the letter you would have received." Then Harry stood and wiped away more tears. "I love you, Ronnie." He stared at the small headstone and shook his head. It just wasn't fair.

Several hours later Harry climbed into his bed and allowed the tears to fall again. He hated people to see him cry, but here, in the privacy of his rooms, he needed to do this. It was okay to cry. Whenever he or Brian had been crying and tried to stop so that Ronnie wouldn't see, Ronnie would tell them that it was okay, that tears were meant to be shed, and it didn't matter if you were a boy or a girl, an adult or a child.

Words of wisdom from an eleven-year-old boy who had died much too young.

***** Chinese Proverb


	30. Chapter 30

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXX  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,267  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirty**

Wiltshire was not a place Severus had ever wanted to set foot in again. For all the good times he had spent within the walls of Malfoy Manor, the memories of death and torture of more recent years (whether eleven years or several months, they were recent to Severus) overrode any good will that he had held for the grand house or the family who had inhabited it.

No matter his intent to stay away, his past once again necessitated him to face that which he didn't want to. One thing he had learned from his many mistakes was that one's past is always with them, good or bad. His had definitely been more bad than good, and that bad had begun in earnest at the age of seventeen.

As Severus walked through the snow-covered meadow that bordered the Kennet and Avon Canal, he thought about how it — his life of servitude — had begun.

The Dark Lord had been adept when it came to giving hope to the hopeless. That was how, over a twenty-one year period, Severus Snape had gone from a lowly Slytherin out-cast to a highly-coveted member of The Dark Lord's inner-circle. He had been privy to all of the inner-workings and had had a hand in forming the new hierarchy. He had been a part of the machine that had killed and injured countless wizards and Muggles, and he had done it all willingly.

For his first three years as a Death Eater, Severus had done all that he had because he believed in what the Dark Lord taught — he truly thought a better life awaited him if he followed the strange man who had changed his name from Tom Riddle to Voldemort.

All it had taken to alter his perception was a prophecy that threatened the life of the one person, outside of his family, whom he had loved. From that moment forward, Severus's dealings with the Dark Lord had been theatrical in nature, and he had had to perform night after night as if it were the most important performance of his life.

Eleven years later, Severus thought he had done rather well, even if he had paid for his deeds in a rather harsh manner.

"Severus."

"Draco," Severus said as the door opened to allow him entrance into Malfoy Manor. He followed Draco into one of the sitting rooms, one that had not seen much use while the Dark Lord had been in residence. Severus took a seat in a chair by the fire, and Draco sat in the other. The younger Malfoy looked nervous, which surprised Severus, although it shouldn't. Draco hadn't seen him in eleven years, and to know that his own father had been the reason, well, anyone would have to be a bit uncomfortable in such a situation.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me, Severus. I visited my father this afternoon. He informed me that he confessed and he also informed me why he had done what he had. I need to ask: is what my father told me true? Did you and my mother have a child together?"

"Yes, but I did not know about her until I was given a parchment that was found with Cepheus Malfoy's belongings."

"My father also told me that you and he were lovers. You were seeing both of my parents at the same time?"

Severus had agreed to talk; he had not agreed to discuss his personal life. "I agreed to come here knowing you would have difficult questions for me, but I refuse to answer questions that serve no purpose other than to satisfy your unregenerate curiosity, Draco." That handsome patrician face, that so resembled his mother's, morphed into a frown and Severus forced himself not to make a caustic remark about spoiled little boys not getting what they wanted.

"You do know that Harry asked me to allow Magnolia to live here, do you not?"

"Yes, I am aware of what Mr. Potter asked of you, Draco. Am I to infer from your question to me that you are under the impression that this is still what will happen?"

There was a lengthy pause, and Severus feared what would come out of Draco's mouth. If he wanted to, the young Malfoy could more than likely prevent Severus from keeping his daughter. Death Eaters, whether active or not, were not exactly looked upon favorably, and in the wizarding world, money had a way of speaking in a way that blood didn't.

"As much as I wish to see my half-sister in my care, Severus, you are Magnolia's father. If you want to be a father to her, you should. My mother would wish for you to have Magnolia in your care."

There was no doubt Draco did not want this to happen, but that mattered to Severus not at all. "Thank you," Severus said, in as calm a voice as he could manage. He shouldn't have to thank anyone for allowing him to keep his daughter, but he knew what his lot in life was, and he knew that he would always answer to someone else.

"You and Magnolia are welcome at Malfoy Manor anytime, Severus. I seem to recall Harry mentioning that you and your mother lived in Wales before you came to Hogwarts this year. Will that be where you live?"

"Yes. I will be working at Hogwarts beginning next term, but when not there, we will reside in Wales." There were questions behind the raised eyebrows, but Severus wasn't going to be forthcoming. No doubt, Harry would fill the younger Malfoy in on the latest when they next spoke. "Have you spoken to Mr. Potter today?"

"No, and I have no plans to."

Severus opened his mouth to respond, but decided against it. "Is there anything more you wish to discuss with me, Draco? If not, I need to return; Magnolia is not doing very well today."

"Did you love my mother?"

There was every reason for Severus not to answer. It was none of Draco's business. "I loved both your mother and father, Draco. No one, other than my mother, ever made me feel as wanted or needed as your parents. So much of what I did during that time was an act, but what I had with your parents was real. I regret that I allowed my wants and needs to destroy their marriage; that was wrong of me and I will always feel remorse for that, but I will never regret that your mother and I had a daughter. She is beautiful, Draco, and she is the best of your mother and me."

"Do you think I could meet her?"

Severus stood and retrieved his cloak. "She remains weak and not up to visitors at the moment. Once she regains her strength, my mother and I are taking her to Wales. Before we go I will owl you so you can come to Hogwarts and see her."

* * *

Diagon Alley looked like a Christmas card: snow-covered roof-tops and thestral-drawn carriages were the backdrop for witches and wizards as they shopped and visited. A red-headed thirty-one year old wizard carried a stack of boxes into the back of the building that had WWW in big red letters on the store-front.

"Oy, Charlie, get in here and help me with the inventory."

"I'll help," Harry said as he took one of the boxes from George. "It's a madhouse out there; is it always like this on Sunday?" Harry set down the box on a table that George pointed to.

"Yeah, but the snow brings more people in. By the end of the day, I'm always relieved, but days like today are good for business, so I can't complain. I wish Ron were here, though; he and Hermione should be back by now. He said they were going to stop by here before going home. Speaking of, what brings you to Diagon Alley?"

"I needed new gloves, so I decided to come see how things were going here."

"How are things at Hogwarts? Hermione says Snape is back."

Harry frowned and looked around. "Shh. Yeah, he is, but your dad wants to keep it quiet until after Christmas break." The door opened and in walked Hermione, a huge grin on her face.

"Harry! I'm so glad you're here to hear the news!"

"And what am I, a Flesh-Eating slug?" said George as he set down the last box and turned to look at Hermione. "Oy, little brother, what secret are you and the wifey hiding?" he asked when Ron entered, carrying a box filled with muggle toothpaste.

"Yeah, don't keep us waiting. Tell us," added Harry.

"Do you want to tell them, Ron, or should I?" asked a beaming Hermione.

"We're going to have a baby, er, well, Hermione is," Ron said, a huge grin on his face as he set down the box and put an arm around Hermione. "We found out Friday."

"I get to be an uncle again? Another little Weasley to help around here. You know that if it's a boy you have to name him Fred," George said.

"Yes, we've already talked about that, George," Hermione replied as she put an arm around Harry. "How is Uncle Harry doing? I didn't expect to see you here today."

"I'm good. I'm so happy for you and Ron. Little Fred or Fredrika, whichever it is, is going to be so spoiled if I have anything to say about it."

"Oy, not my child, mate. There will be no spoiling of my children."

Harry glanced at Hermione, who was rolling her eyes. "Yeah, right, Ron. He or she is going to have you wrapped around their finger and you'll be the one spoiling them."

"Yeah, Ron. You can't keep an uncle from spoiling their nephew or niece; we have rights, you know!" retorted George.

"I'll remember that, George. We'll call you to babysit."

"You do that, Hermione. It's never too early to train him or her up to help here."

Harry snorted at the image of an infant Weasley sitting in the doorway to get more business.

"Harry, Ron and I are on our way home. Want to go with us? I want to show you some of the baby clothes my mum got for the baby."

A few minutes later, Harry sat at the kitchen table while Hermione made tea. He picked up a biscuit and took a bite. "These aren't as bad as the last ones your dad sent."

"Yeah, I told him that since I am with child, I wouldn't be eating them, that Ron and you would, so he gave me some sweeter ones."

Harry took the offered cup and took a sip. "Thanks."

"So how are things at Hogwarts? Arthur told us about Severus and Magnolia. What a nightmare."

Harry couldn't have put it better. "Magnolia isn't doing so great today. She has her good days and then ones like today. Severus has been wonderful with her though, which is so strange. I would've never thought he'd be the fatherly type."

"Yeah, but he wasn't exactly given a choice, was he? As gruff as Snape is or was, he doesn't seem the type to not take responsibility for that which is his." Hermione sat down and gave Harry a put-upon look as he pushed the cookie tin towards her.

Harry took the tin back and retrieved two more biscuits. "Yeah, I guess you're right. He went to talk to Draco. I'd love to be there to hear that conversation. I'd like to think that Draco is going to be adult about what happened, but I have a bad feeling that he might try to take Magnolia away from Severus."

"You think so? I can't see him doing that, Harry."

"I hope you're right. Are you going to show me the clothes for the baby? I should get back."

"Oh yeah, there aren't many; it won't take long at all."

Harry followed Hermione into the room that was going to serve as the baby's nursery, and sat on the bed while Hermione laid out six outfits: three for a girl, and three for a boy. They were so tiny; how could someone ever fit into such little clothes? Harry imagined himself rocking the little girl or boy to sleep. He couldn't wait until that could really happen. Just as he had done with all of the Weasley babies, he would spoil this one rotten, no matter what Ron said.

"I need to go, Hermione. I need to prepare for my lessons tomorrow."

"Are you okay, Harry? You seem different."

"I'm fine, really."

"You miss the young Severus, don't you?"

"Yeah, but he's gone, so that is that." Harry watched as Hermione walked to the cupboard and retrieved something, then she moved the baby clothes and sat beside Harry.

"I found this the night you told me to pack all of Severus's things. You might not be ready to read it yet, but I think you should. I haven't read it because it is none of my business, but I think he would want you to read it. He was a very special little boy and he filled an empty space in your heart. He is gone, but Severus isn't. It might do the both of you good to read this."

Harry took the diary and smiled as he looked at it. He didn't think he'd read it, but he knew someone else who needed to. "Thank you, Hermione."


	31. Chapter 31

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXXI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,760  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirty-One**

Twelve-year-old lesson plans; spectacles; a teacup; various documents that attested to the fact that Magnolia was, in fact, a Snape; and tomes about glamours littered Severus's desk, while the man who had been reading the aforementioned, sat up and yawned as he looked down at his sofa — it was comfortable for sitting; however, it did nothing for his aging back.

He hadn't meant to fall asleep; he'd just needed to rest his eyes for a few minutes. A look at his desk reminded Severus that he'd been in the middle of filling out paper work so that Magnolia's name could legally be changed to Magnolia Druella Snape. Arthur needed the forms before Christmas break, which was a fortnight away.

A wave of Severus's wand, and his desk appeared orderly once more. He had told Poppy he'd be back in two hours, and a glance at the clock alerted him to the fact that he had been away for four hours.

Perhaps Magnolia would be awake and talking again, but Severus doubted his daughter had improved — he needed to let go of his negativity, but habits ingrained over a lifetime were difficult to change — that is why his mother had brought him every book on glamours that the library had. He was determined to find out what was wrong with his daughter.

Half an hour later he entered the hospital wing. Poppy and his mother were whispering in the doorway that led to the back room. Severus studied their faces, hoping to find some indication that there had been improvement in his daughter, but all he saw were tired and worried expressions.

"I apologize, Poppy. I fell asleep. How is she?"

"She is not doing well, but she was awake earlier for a few minutes."

Severus looked at his mother. "Did she say anything?"

"She answered Poppy's questions, but nothing more."

"I don't understand it. She was talking to me and seemed happy yesterday, then today she has not said one word to me." An uneasy feeling crept in when Severus saw his mother and Poppy sharing a glance. "What? What are the two of you not telling me?"

"Last night Harry stopped by to show me some new cauldrons that he'd ordered, and when he went to visit with Magnolia, she saw her reflection in one of the cauldrons."

It would figure that Harry was involved. "And why didn't you say anything to me earlier?" Not that he needed an answer: Poppy and his mother were protecting Harry.

"Harry didn't do it on purpose, Severus," his mother said as she stood, "and we didn't want you to upset him further; he felt bad enough as it was."

No, Potter never did anything on purpose, did he? "Harry has told me how bright Magnolia is. No doubt she knows who I am if she saw her reflection."

"Yes, I think you are right," replied Poppy as she placed a hand on Magnolia's forehead. "Her temperature has risen."

Severus went to the other side of the bed and took the little hand, which was much too warm, in his. "It has been more than a week; I don't understand why she keeps fluctuating. It is as if her glamour and her body are warring with one another. Flitwick removed the glamour, so how could this be?" Severus asked Poppy, knowing she had no more answers than he.

"I wish I had an answer for you, Severus. Had her glamour been renewed correctly, this wouldn't be happening, but it wasn't, so what ails her is not as easy to ascertain. Her scans appear to show no trace of the glamour, but there has to be something I have missed. Your mother tells me you have been going through the old tomes."

"Yes, but as of yet, I haven't found anything. Did you talk to Healer Thomas? Flitwick said you were meeting with him this afternoon."

"I did, and he wants to admit her to St. Mungo's. I told him I would get back to him this evening. Severus, she would benefit from being there, but if she goes, your status will be revealed, and I know you and Arthur agreed to wait until Christmas break to go public."

A fortnight was not much time, but it was time, and Severus wanted the fourteen days to prepare himself for what was to come. Everyone would know he had been re-aged and that he now had a daughter — a daughter whose mother had been Narcissa Malfoy. However, such trivial matters were no longer a priority — Magnolia was — and Severus was willing to do whatever it took to ensure that his daughter received the best care possible. He had lost so much in his life; he would not lose his daughter if he had anything to say about it. "I will speak to Arthur and tell him that we are taking Magnolia to St. Mungo's tomorrow. Mother, may I have a word with you in the other room?"

* * *

Casual or dressy? Blue, green, or black? Why had Harry agreed to this? He didn't feel like going to a pub, and he didn't feel like meeting someone who was probably going to expect more than a peck on the cheek at the end of the night. If it weren't for the fact that this bloke was a friend of Hermione's whom she'd grown up with, Harry wouldn't be doing this. It was cold and blustery out, and he didn't feel that good, but he knew he was making excuses, and he knew that this might work out. He did miss having someone in his life. Brian and he had been so good together, and Harry wanted that again. He wanted the comfort and the warmth that having a mate gave him; he wanted someone to talk to at the end of the day, and he wanted someone to love him.

His bed covered in slacks and jeans, jumpers and cardigans, Harry decided on a black pair of jeans and a button-neck light blue jumper, then he went to have a shower. As he lathered his hair, he tried to remember the bloke's name who he was supposed to meet. All Harry could remember was that the bloke was thirty-one years old, had dark blond hair and green eyes, and was a Muggle. Wasn't his name funny sounding? Harry thought and thought, but it just wouldn't come to him.

Once dressed, Harry checked his reflection in the mirror, and frowned. He wished he had contacts, but they bothered him. Hermione assured him that he was very attractive and that the glasses added to his allure. Harry didn't believe her. Nevertheless, there was little he could do since he needed to see.

He found some shoes, retrieved his coat and gloves and was headed to the door when he heard a knock. He couldn't imagine who it could be. He retrieved his wand and pointed it at the door and it showed that it was Severus, which was interesting because they hadn't spoken much at all since their confrontation in Poppy's office a week earlier. Harry had checked on Magnolia daily, but he always checked to see that Severus was not there. He had sent a summary of his lesson plans by way of owl, and Severus had replied with a few questions, but they hadn't talked in person other than to exchange pleasantries when necessary.

Harry opened the door and motioned for Severus to enter, then after he closed it, he leaned against it and crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Severus. "I have somewhere to be, so whatever you have to say, say it." Was he acting childish? Probably so, but he couldn't be bothered to care.

"Magnolia is not improving as we had hoped she would, so she will be admitted to St. Mungo's tomorrow. As such, my predicament regarding my de-aging and re-aging, as well as my relationship to Magnolia will be made public. I have given Arthur a brief interview that will be published in tomorrow's _Prophet_. I did not mention your name, but there will no doubt be questions regarding you and your feelings about me being returned to my former age, so I thought it would be prudent for me to warn you about this before you were inundated with owls tomorrow."

And this day just kept getting better and better. Harry shook his head and let out a put-upon sigh. Life was far too unfair. He didn't want Magnolia to be so ill, and he didn't want the owls to come the next day, but both seemed to be a foregone conclusion.

"Thank you for telling me, Severus. I'll stop by and check on Magnolia when I get back." Harry watched Severus's eyes as they took in his _Muggle_ attire. A raised brow asked the question, and while Harry didn't want to tell Severus where he was going, part of him did want to tell everyone that he was going to meet someone; he was tired of everyone asking him when he was going to get over Brian. He would likely never get over him, but he couldn't remain closed off for the rest of his life if he wanted to be happy.

"I am meeting someone — a Muggle — in London. Hermione assures me he is perfect for me, so maybe I'll meet him and fall madly in love and you won't have to worry about me coming round anymore to bother you." The frown that appeared on Severus's face had not been Harry's intended reaction; he'd not meant to sound so harsh, but what was done was done, and he couldn't take it back.

"Sorry to bother you, _Mr. Potter_. I do hope your evening goes well." With that said, Severus walked to the door, opened it, and left.

For at least a minute, Harry stared at the door. That couldn't have gone any worse had he planned it. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he had an evening with a strange bloke to look forward to. It could end very badly, but just maybe it could end happily. Harry thought it was time he had a bit of happiness.

Half an hour later he walked into Muggle London and took a taxi to Monmouth Street to a place called Dress Circle. He was supposed to meet…

"Hi, Harry, I'm Carter."

Harry turned and grinned as he stuck out his right hand. He was impressed, and thought the evening might be salvageable. "Hi, Carter, I'm Harry."


	32. Chapter 32

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXXII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,800  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

The hour being so late, Harry was hesitant to enter the hospital wing, but he'd said he would stop by to see Magnolia, and he wasn't about to go back on his word. He only hoped that Severus wouldn't ruin his good mood. The evening with Carter had been rather pleasant, and Harry knew that no one could place a damper on a good mood like Severus Snape.

After they'd met, Carter and he had walked to a pub and had a few pints, then they'd gone to a restaurant and had a filling meal. Afterward, they had walked along the Thames and admired the skyline of London. Their night had ended with a memorable kiss, which, much to Harry's relief, hadn't been a mere peck on the cheek. Harry was breathless just thinking about it and the preceding hours. For all of his trepidation of a few hours earlier, his evening with Carter couldn't have gone better. Carter had asked Harry out again for Saturday night, but Harry had said he couldn't. He hadn't given a reason, but he'd asked if they could see each other Sunday instead, and Carter had said he'd like that.

As he thought about the kiss and the prospect of many more to follow, Harry traced his lip with a finger, and smiled. It had been far too long since another man had made him feel all warm inside.

The sound of a throat clearing distracted him from his far too erotic thoughts. He growled, but only in his mind, then he regrettably allowed the image of Carter sliding into him to fade away. He turned his head and saw Severus standing in the doorway, a finger to his lips. Harry nodded and walked toward the back room and entered the open door. "How is she?"

"Her temperature is no longer dangerous, but she has slipped in and out of consciousness all evening. You seem flushed; are you feeling well?" asked a grinning Severus, amusement in his voice.

Severus knew precisely why Harry was flushed, and Harry didn't appreciate the teasing. "I'm feeling quite well, thank you. If you want to go rest, I'll sit with Magnolia. You look like you could use a good night's sleep."

"As tempting as that offer is, I am not leaving. I will use one of the other beds if I need to rest."

"What time are you taking her to St. Mungo's?"

"Eight."

Not that he had expected anything different, but Harry wished Severus wouldn't sound so curt with his answers. Then again, what else should he expect when he had spoken so rudely to Severus earlier? "I guess you haven't found anything about what is wrong with Magnolia yet?"

"No. I am beginning to think what ails her might be unrelated to the glamour. Poppy is in the process of trying to gain access to Narcissa's medical records."

Narcissa… she was a Black… like Tonks. Harry wanted to grin in relief, but he didn't. "Do you know if Narcissa was a Metamorphmagus?" Harry tried to keep his voice calm, but he was too excited by this thought he had, and he could tell that Severus must be thinking the same because his entire countenance changed; he actually grinned.

"Not that I know of, but she could have carried the gene and passed it to her daughter. Harry, this could be the problem. Let us go into the other room and talk so we do not disturb Magnolia."

Once Harry and Severus were seated in the empty hospital wing ward, Harry made himself calm down. They still had a long way to go. "Maybe she is unknowingly trying to alter her appearance and it is sapping her of her strength." Harry wanted so badly to go wake Poppy, but he knew she needed her rest, and this was not an emergency, even if it were to him.

"You could be correct, Harry. Thank you for remembering that the Black family have the Metamorphmagus gene. I would have never thought of that."

A compliment from Severus was rare, and Harry didn't take it at all lightly. "Tonks would change her nose and hair while we were at Grimmauld Place and it was rather memorable; not one of those things you forget," Harry said, his voice now much softer as he thought about Tonks and Remus. He knew his face reflected his sadness. He missed them, and he missed his godson; it had been over a year since he'd seen Teddy.

"Have you spoken to Andromeda recently? I am somewhat surprised that Teddy did not begin Hogwarts this term," Severus said as he stood and walked toward the store cupboard. "Tea?"

"Yes, thank you." Harry waited until Severus returned with two cups of tea, then he continued. "I don't talk to her much; she keeps herself and Teddy away from everyone. She did tell me that Teddy will begin Hogwarts next year, but she didn't explain why he didn't start this year, and it wasn't my place to ask."

"You are his godfather, are you not? I think that would give you a right to enquire about his schooling. Andromeda would understand."

That Severus was sitting not a meter away, speaking almost effortlessly, and seeming to validate Harry's right to know something about his godson, was foreign, but Harry welcomed his and Severus's current ease with one another. And to be fair, it wasn't the first time this had happened, but Harry knew that they were both prone to hot-headedness, and it was that which prevented them from carrying on this way every time they spoke.

"If I see her, I'll be sure to ask," Harry replied, somewhat flippant.

"Children who are Metamorphmagi have a tendency to have learning disabilities. I would not be surprised if Teddy needed another year to mature."

"But Magnolia is smart. She—"

"I said they have a tendency, Harry, I did not say Metamorphmagi were by default plagued with learning disabilities. We don't even know if Magnolia is a Metamorphmagus yet."

Harry had an idea that she was. "I can feel it, Severus. She is, and she's going to get better; she just has to learn how to control her abilities." Harry looked toward the back room and smiled. "She's going to be okay, Severus."

"You always were an optimist, weren't you? I do hope you are correct, Harry. I want my little girl to be healthy and happy, and I want her to live a long life."

"She will, Severus, I feel it." Harry then stood and began walking toward the door. "I guess I should go and let you get back to whatever you were doing when I interrupted you."

"You didn't interrupt me. I was just willing my daughter to get better. You are in early. Did your meeting with the Muggle bloke not go as well as you had hoped?"

Harry turned and faced Severus, and felt the grin that spread across his face. "It went very well; I am seeing Carter again on Sunday."

* * *

_Andromeda:_

Please accept my apology for this unexpected letter, but I am desperate, and you might well be my only hope. My daughter, Magnolia, has been under a glamour that was not performed correctly. We had it removed, but she has not improved, and her condition has perplexed us. Earlier this evening I was reminded that several members of the Black family have been Metamorphmagi, and I am aware that your grandson is indeed a Metamorphmagus. My daughter is a year older then Teddy. Do you think it might be possible for your grandson to meet my daughter and help her control her ability to alter her appearance? I am certain that Harry would be happy to see Teddy. He told me that you and your grandson do not get out much. I completely understand if you do not wish to involve yourself in this. I am sure there is another way; I only wanted to see if Teddy could possibly help.

I know that I do not mean anything to you or your family, but my daughter is your niece, and she deserves to live. Please let me know as soon as possible if you will help. Thank you very much for your time.

Severus Snape

After he completed the letter, Severus folded it and placed it in his robe pocket. He couldn't send it until two important tasks had been performed: Poppy had to confirm that Magnolia was a Metamorphmagus, and the article in the _Daily Prophet_ had to be published.

He then returned to the backroom and watched his daughter sleep while his thoughts returned to Harry. Hours earlier, when they had talked in Harry's sitting room, Severus had intended to ask about Magnolia seeing her reflection; he had wanted to make Harry feel bad, yet he hadn't, even when Harry had been so rude to him. It would have been so easy to sour Harry's mood, but Severus hadn't been able to do it.

He had missed his second opportunity, hours later, because, by that time, he'd realized that getting back at Harry just to be vindictive wasn't worth it. What was done was done, and everyone was going to have to deal with what was, not what wasn't.

If only that thought would persist. As it was, Severus knew that at the first moment he had the opportunity, he would throw what had happened in Harry's face.

"Severus? My goodness. Why aren't you asleep?" asked Poppy as she entered the room.

Severus looked up, then stood and motioned towards the other room. Once they were in Poppy's office, Severus told Poppy what he and Harry had talked about. She didn't give much of an indication regarding what she was thinking, but Severus hoped she was thinking as he was, that this was their answer.

Then she smiled and nodded.

"We won't know for certain until I run a few specialized scans in the morning, but I think you might owe Harry a great big thank you."

For the first time since he had been returned to his older-self, Severus was truly hopeful that the future might not be all bad. He had a daughter and he would do anything for her. He would find out tomorrow if Harry's hypothesis was correct.

He would also discover how reviled he was by the wizarding world. No matter that he had been working for the light, there would be people who would hold him responsible for what the Death Eaters had done.

If that was his price, Severus could handle that. He didn't mind if he was hated by everyone. All he needed, he had: his mother and his daughter. Nothing or no one else mattered at all.


	33. Chapter 33

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXXIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,590  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

Was someone calling his name? Why were they yelling at him? Harry wished they would stop; it was too early for noise of any kind.

"Potter!"

Harry sat up. That was Severus, and he was yelling through the Floo. "Just a second and I'll be there," Harry yelled, then he put on his glasses and found his dressing gown. It was much too early to be up on a Saturday, but he knew better than to ignore Severus, who might have come to tell him that Magnolia was a Metamorphmagus and that she would be okay. He donned his dressing gown and hurried into the sitting room.

"Okay, I'm up. Did Poppy examine Magnolia? And come on through; I don't want to talk to your head." Severus stepped through and took a seat on the sofa. Harry remained standing. He was impatient and wanted to know what had happened. "Well?"

"Congratulations, Mr. Potter on your correct diagnosis of what ails Magnolia. She is indeed a Metamorphmagus. I have already made her a new potion that should help. As we now know what is preventing her from regaining her strength, I have decided she does not need to go to St. Mungo's."

This was the best news, but one would have never guessed the news was indeed good from Severus's delivery: there hadn't been one ounce of inflection in Severus's voice — each word had been said exactly the same as the previous, and his voice was its usual droll quality. Some things would never change, but Harry found that he didn't care. "I knew it! I knew it, Severus! She's going to be okay." Harry didn't think he could grin any more than he was. "Is she awake now?"

"No, she is sleeping, and soon, so shall I. I'll take my leave so you can get a few more hours sleep."

Yes, sleep sounded like a good idea, and Harry planned on returning to that place of dreams as soon as possible. "What time is it?"

"Five."

A yawn overtook Harry. "Way too early to be up, but I'm happy you woke me; this is the best possible news."

"That it is, Harry. Thank you for giving me my daughter back."

Harry watched as Severus stood and walked to the mantel, where he grabbed a handful of Floo powder. "I'm happy I could help." Severus looked at him and smiled, then he was gone. Harry then returned to his bed. He had two more hours before he needed to wake.

* * *

Two hours of sleep wasn't nearly enough rest, but that was all Severus was going to get. He reluctantly sat up and allowed the duvet and blanket to expose his body to the cold dungeon air, and a second of exposure made him want nothing more than to go back to sleep in the warmth that had cocooned him for the past two hours. Regardless of his wants, however, his feet met the stone floor and he quickly walked out to the sitting room and lit a fire, then he went to the kitchen and made himself tea.

An hour later, he stood over a cauldron making more of the strengthening potion for Magnolia. As he added two drops of Re'em Blood, he made a mental note to order two more vials. There were a few other ingredients he was running low on as well. Perhaps he would go to Diagon Alley later in the afternoon, or Sunday.

That was one good thing that would result from his story being made public: he would no longer have to keep himself hidden. Unfortunately, that was about the only positive. In a couple of hours, the students and the rest of the wizarding world would know what had happened to him, and he would be the center of attention for the next fortnight. Christmas had never been Severus's favorite time of year, but he now wished it were here so he could leave and take refuge in Wales.

A half-hour later, Severus walked into the hospital wing, and was happy to see Magnolia looking better. She still looked pale, but at least now there was a real chance that she would get better.

"Poppy, is it alright if I speak to Magnolia?"

"I'll be in my office. Do not upset her, Severus," said Poppy, her voice low but stern.

Severus nodded and sat in a chair by his daughter's bed. He wasn't looking forward to this any more than he was looking forward to what would be in the _Daily Prophet_, but there was nothing to do other than forge ahead.

"You are going to get well, Magnolia. Professor Potter figured out what was causing you to be so weak." Severus was not quite ready to tell her she was a Metamorphmagus, but he knew she would need to be told soon.

"I look like you did when you were younger. Are you my real father?" Magnolia's smile disappeared.

"I am. Does that frighten you?" Magnolia shook her head. "I wish I had known that you existed, but I had no idea, Magnolia."

"Am I going to live with you now?"

"Yes, when you are not at Hogwarts you will live with me in Wales." Severus had always prided himself on being able to read people, but his daughter was not giving him any indication of her feelings, and it worried him. His daughter closed her eyes and nodded as a little smile crept across her face. Then she fell asleep.

That had gone much better than Severus had expected, but he knew Magnolia was still quite ill, and once she improved, she might not be so willing to accept him as her father.

His thoughts were interrupted when Poppy entered holding a copy of the _Daily Prophet_.

"Percy just floo-called and gave me this to give to you."

Severus took the paper with an attached parchment and nodded his thanks. Once Poppy was back in her office, he sat down and opened the parchment.

_Severus:_

I have decided to omit the nature of why we are going public with this today. It is no one's business unless you wish it to be.

Arthur

Relief swept through Severus, although he would now have to rewrite his letter to Andromeda. He was glad to have to do so; he hadn't looked forward to everyone asking him about Magnolia.

Setting down the parchment, he willed himself to read the article with the headline:

_Severus Snape: The Man Who was a Boy Who is a Man_

It is rare that we at the Daily Prophet _are not the ones to write the articles within this paper. Today is one of those rare occasions. Arthur Weasley, our new Minister for Magic, has asked us to publish an article he wrote last evening, and we have agreed._

Eleven years ago, as our world was rid of the man known as Voldemort, Severus Snape, who was instrumental in bringing down Voldemort, was reverted to an infant. Per his birthright, he began Hogwarts this term as an eleven-year-old. Last month he was kidnapped and returned to the age he was eleven years ago. Next term he will resume teaching Potions at Hogwarts.

This transition has not been easy for Mr. Snape, and I ask that everyone give him his space and not inundate him with questions if you should see him. If he wishes to speak about his experiences, he will, but he owes no one information, and I have asked him to alert me if he encounters any problems.

Thank you for your time.

Arthur Weasley  
Minister for Magic

His reemergence into society was almost complete; there was only one more hurdle: lunch in the Great Hall. Minerva had asked him to join them for breakfast, but Severus had said he'd prefer to make his first official appearance after everyone had the opportunity to read or at least hear about the article in the _Prophet_.

"Severus?"

Severus set down the paper and looked up to see his mother. "Good morning, Mother. Did you sleep well?"

"I did. I've come to sit with Magnolia. Is she any better this morning?"

A rare grin found its way to Severus's face. His mother had no idea what had transpired over the past several hours. He asked her to sit down, then told her about Harry's thoughts about Magnolia being a Metamorphmagus, and how Poppy had confirmed that thought.

"Oh, Severus, that is wonderful news! She should begin to improve now."

"Yes, I certainly hope so. She knows I am her father; we talked briefly, and she seemed fine with it, but I doubt that lasts when she is well."

"You are entirely too negative, my son. Yes, I do think there will be adjustments that need to be made, and Magnolia might need time to accept you as her father, but I think you need to give her a bit of credit. She is a bright and happy little girl, and with time, I think everything will be fine."

"I do hope you are correct in your assessment."

"There is something else worrying you. What is it?"

Per usual, nothing escaped his mother's notice. "I have a bad feeling, Mother. It is only a matter of time until Lucius's involvement in my de-aging and re-aging is made public, and he will not be happy. As we already know, his being in Azkaban hasn't prevented him from wielding his influence on the outside world."


	34. Chapter 34

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXXIV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,500  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

Not since the day, five years earlier, when he had returned to teach at Hogwarts, had Harry seen the staff and students so animated. Severus Snape's reemergence seemed to be the only topic of conversation. Everywhere Harry turned, groups of students stood around someone who had a _Daily Prophet_.

None of these students had ever known Professor Snape, but a few of their siblings, and many of their parents had. Harry heard a couple of students relaying stories that their older siblings and parents had shared with them.

There was no doubt in Harry's mind that on 11 January 2010, there would be a Potions Room filled with terrified students who awaited their fate from the dreaded Potions master. The image made Harry laugh; he didn't know who he felt more sorry for: the students or Severus.

As he entered the Great Hall, he was somewhat surprised to find Severus already seated at the High Table; he'd assumed that Severus would wait until the last possible moment to enter. Few students had entered as it wasn't quite time to eat, but Harry knew that once word began to spread that Severus Snape was in the Great Hall, that the students would enter en masse.

Harry took his seat in between Severus and Sean. "I see the two of you have met."

"Yes, Severus has been regaling me with stories about your exploits as a student," said Sean as he grinned.

There was no way Harry could reply to that comment without using rather colorful language that was not appropriate for the Great Hall.

"Yes," said Severus as he turned to face Harry, "and Mr. Derrington has been telling me how much the students and staff adore you. Still the celebrity, I see."

Harry plastered a fake smile on his face. "Of course, and you're my number one fan, yes?" Severus ignored him, choosing instead to scan the Great Hall with his eyes, so Harry turned to Derrington. "I'm sorry we haven't had an opportunity to talk, but I am guessing what you wanted to talk to me about was your leaving at term?"

"Yes. I hear that you are my replacement. I was a bit—" Derrington stopped when Harry shook his head and motioned his head toward Severus.

"I am neither deaf, nor blind, Harry," Severus said as he looked at Derrington. "Harry is doing me a favor by teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts so I can teach Potions."

Harry saw the determined look in Severus's eyes, and he opened his mouth to respond, but Minerva entered the Great Hall at that moment and made her way to the High Table. Harry decided his comment could wait, but he didn't like it at all that Severus had got the last word. Soon thereafter, the Great Hall filled with students, and the stares began.

Per a request by Severus, not one word was said by Minerva regarding his return, and Harry knew that she wasn't happy about that. She thought Severus deserved to hear the welcome that the students would have given him. Harry agreed with her, but he understood Severus's not wanting any acknowledgement — he was a private person, and this day had to be overwhelming enough as it was. Harry glanced at Severus several times throughout the meal, and each found the dour man looking paler and paler. A part of Harry actually felt sorry for him.

He tried to engage Severus in light conversation, but a curt reply was all the warning Harry needed; he didn't want to further upset Severus, so he kept to himself for the remainder of the meal.

After he finished eating, Harry stood to leave, but first he leaned down so he could whisper in Severus's ear: "They're not going to lynch you. Relax." The look Harry received was reminiscent of all those times Harry, as a student, had faced the Potion master's wrath. Harry gave Severus a small grin, then left.

* * *

Severus watched Harry leave the Great Hall, then he stood up to leave as well. He was somewhat surprised that he hadn't been inundated with questions. No one other than Harry, Minerva, and Derrington had spoken to him, but that was more than fine with him. No matter how welcome the present reprieve was, he was under no illusion that the silence would continue; the questions and speculation would begin within the day.

Minutes later, he entered the library and saw his mother speaking to a student. After the student left, Severus approached the desk. "I am not interrupting you, am I?"

"No, no, just your everyday library-related tasks. I must apologize for not having lunch in the Great Hall. A student opened one of the books in the restricted section and the book did its best to divest the young witch of her fingers. How did it go in the Great Hall?"

"Much better than I thought it would. Minerva must have spoken to the staff, and I wouldn't put it past her to have spoken to the students as well. No one, other than Harry, Sean Derrington, and Minerva, spoke to me." Severus watched his mother shake her head, a small grin on her face.

"It wasn't Minerva who spoke to the staff and students. It was Harry, Severus. He asked that everyone respect your privacy."

Such a revelation shouldn't have been a surprise to Severus, yet it was. "He did, did he? Mr. Potter seems replete with goodwill these days. He helps me find out what ails my daughter, and he asks people to respect my privacy. If I were not convinced that he genuinely cared about my daughter and my well-being, I would think that he wanted something from me."

"He did these things because that is the type of person he is, but I do think he wants something from you, Severus, and you are well aware of what it is that he seeks. He wants your friendship," replied his mother, wistfulness in her voice.

"Yes, I know," Severus said, his voice much lower as he lifted a hand and shook his head, "and for the life of me, I cannot figure out why. He has friends his own age. Why does he seem intent to claim me as one as well? I think he simply misses the young Severus and thinks that if he is my friend, he can have that little boy back."

"It is not as simple as that, Severus. I don't doubt that Harry misses the little boy you were, and I don't doubt that he wishes he could have that time back, but I think you are very wrong about why he wishes to be your friend. And yes, he has friends, but they have their own lives in London."

"Oh, so I am supposed to keep him entertained while he is at Hogwarts so he has no need to miss the company of Granger and Weasley? I hadn't thought of that, but no, I'm still not interested," Severus said, sarcastically. "As it is, he has found himself someone else to be the object of his obsession now, so perhaps he'll get over his thoughts of winning me over to his side."

"Oh? He is seeing someone?"

His mother's disappointed look did not escape Severus's notice. He had seen that look his mother had given him and Harry on more than a few occasions, and he knew it meant trouble. "Mother, do not speak what you are thinking. The day that I would consider courting Harry is the day the wizarding world no longer exists. And to answer your question, I do not know how serious it is, but yes, Harry is seeing someone. His name is Carter and they are seeing each other again tomorrow."

"Harry told you this, did he?"

"He did. Mother, please do not continue with these inane and quixotic thoughts. Harry has no interest in me other than friendship, which is quite enough to be going on with."

"And you, Severus? What do you want?"

"For this conversation to be over. Please do not speak of this again."

"I apologize, Severus. I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't. You could never upset me, Mother." But Severus knew that his mother knew the truth: her words had upset him. Until he had given in to his darker urges, all Severus had ever wanted out of life was to marry someone whom he loved, and to have a child or two. That dream had long ago died, and Severus did not appreciate his mother reminding him of his failures.

Sometime later he returned to the hospital wing and sat by his sleeping daughter. He took one of her hands in his and kissed it. "How is it that two selfish people such as your mother and I could bring such a wonderful child into the world? I don't deserve you, but I promise you, I'll never let you down, Magnolia."


	35. Chapter 35

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXXV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,860  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: Maybe a bit of angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

As Poppy helped Magnolia back into her bed and propped her up with two pillows, Severus was encouraged to see that his daughter looked healthier than she had a few hours earlier. He retrieved and uncorked a vial of the strengthening potion and handed it to her. She swallowed the contents and made a face before she handed the empty vial back to Severus.

"I tried to make it more palatable. Unfortunately, the Ra'em blood's bitterness cannot be masked."

"That's okay. Madam Pomfrey says the potion is helping me. When will I be able to get out of the hospital wing?"

Severus sat down and placed the empty vial on the table by his daughter's bed. "You have improved, Magnolia, but you are not going to be getting out of the hospital wing before Christmas break. If you continue to progress as you are now, you should be well by then." Severus felt Magnolia's forehead, which was slightly warm, but not nearly as warm as it had been earlier. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Why do I want to sleep so much? I don't understand. I didn't think glamours could make someone ill like this," Magnolia said, her face showing her worry.

It wasn't going to be possible to keep the truth from Magnolia; she was far too intuitive. Severus wanted to wait until Teddy could come see Magnolia, but since she asked, Severus knew he had no choice but to tell her.

"You are a Metamorphmagus. Do you know what that is?" His daughter shook her head and furrowed her brows. "You have the ability to change your appearance at will. Madam Pomfrey thinks that your body is unknowingly trying to alter its appearance. Your glamour has interfered with your natural abilities, and now that the glamour has been removed, your abilities have been compromised to some extent. The potion I made for you should help, but we don't know if you will ever recover all of your abilities; we just have to wait and see." That was a lot of information to digest, and Severus only hoped that what he'd said hadn't scared Magnolia.

"You mean I can change my hair, or my face?" asked an animated Mgnolia.

So much for the fear factor. Children really were resilient and could find the positive in every situation. "That is the idea, yes, but until you have your strength back, I do not want you to even try to alter what you look like. It could set you back, and we want you well. Your cousin, Teddy, is also a Metamorphmagus and I am going to see if he can come and help you learn how to control your abilities."

"Oh that will be great fun!"

For the first time ever, Severus saw his daughter looking somewhat healthy, and very happy. "Now that you know what ails you, you need rest. The more sleep you get, the quicker you will regain your strength." He watched Magnolia open and close her mouth several times. "If you wish to ask me something, please do."

"Are you going to make me call you Daddy?"

"No." Being a father had been a dream of Severus's; one that he had thought about earlier when he had been talking to his mother. Here before him was the dream: he had a daughter, but the reality frightened him, especially when he was asked questions such as this. Being called daddy by a child of his would mean everything to him, but this little girl had been raised for twelve years by another man, and it was that man whom Magnolia thought of as daddy, and no amount of wishing it to be otherwise would change that fact.

"I think I want to call you Daddy Severus. Is that okay?"

Would it be okay? "That is more than okay, Magnolia."

"I have one more question then I'll go to sleep."

Severus nodded.

"I overheard Madam Pomfrey and Professor Potter talking the other day. Is my daddy dead?"

"Yes, he is. I am very sorry, Magnolia." Severus was perplexed at Magnolia's reaction. She didn't appear to be upset. Other than the smile she had shown when she found out she could change her appearance, her expression hadn't changed much at all the entire time they had been talking — her face had a slight smile on it, but she appeared somewhat pensive.

"He was a bad man and did bad things. He hurt my friend; he hurt you. I thought he loved me, but I guess he didn't."

"I'm sure he loved you very much, Magnolia."

"I think I want to go to sleep now."

Now she was visibly upset, and she had every reason to be. Severus wished he knew how to help his daughter.

Once Magnolia was asleep, Severus retrieved the empty vial and placed it in his robe pocket, then he left the hospital wing after telling Poppy that Magnolia was asleep. His plan had been to sit with Magnolia until she fell asleep and then to go set up his office, but now he thought he might like to take a walk around the grounds since he could finally do so.

After Severus retrieved his cloak, scarf, and gloves from his rooms, he made his way upstairs to the entrance hall, then he donned the three items that would protect him from the blustery air. He was surprised that there weren't more students out since it was not near curfew, but it was rather cold, even within the castle walls, so Severus guessed most of the students were probably seated around their common room fires. He did see someone seated on the bench by the doors; she appeared to be a first or second year.

"Hello, Professor Snape."

How long had it been since Severus had heard himself addressed as Professor? When he had been the headmaster, the students had been ordered to address him as such. "Hello. What are you doing sitting here by yourself?" The little girl lifted her arm and Severus saw that her hand was wrapped in a bandage.

"I was curious and took a book off of a shelf in the restricted section. I knew I shouldn't, but the old book looked so interesting. When I opened it, it tried to eat my fingers. Madam Prince knew how to make it let go, and she took me to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey told me I can't go outside because it is too cold and my fingers need warmth to heal, and this is the only other place I like to come when I want to be alone."

"Oh, I see. Might I ask your name and how old you are?"

"I am Amanda, and I'm twelve. I'm a Ravenclaw."

"Well, Amanda, I know this is a good place to think when you want to be alone, but you'll catch cold if you remain in here too long without your cloak. You should get back to your common room, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

He watched the girl leave, then he opened the door and walked out into snow. He walked towards the lake and could see that there were patches of the lake that were frozen, but he could still see the Giant Squid making its rounds across the lake towards…

_Potter_.

There was no likelihood that his presence would be overlooked, but Severus continued on his walk as if he hadn't seen Harry. He had come outdoors to enjoy the night air and to think, and he planned on doing both. He walked the perimeter until he could stand the biting wind no longer, then turned around and began his trek back to the castle, stopping by the lake only long enough to retrieve Harry, who was at least dressed for a night out in freezing weather.

"You do seem to like it out here. Is there no place else that you can go to think that won't result in your imminent death?"

"I haven't died yet, have I?" Harry stated as he joined Severus, his face expressionless.

"No, and I think Minerva would prefer to keep it that way."

"Yes, my supposed death eleven years ago hit her rather hard and she has made me promise that I won't put her through that again."

There was a sadness to Harry's voice that Severus hadn't heard before. "So you did almost die. My mother won't speak about it; it is the only topic that I cannot ask her about."

"Yes. It's difficult to say why I didn't die that night, but I should've," Harry said as he looked at Severus with a sorrowful look on his face.

"From what I have read and heard, you had a double protection that night, and maybe three reasons why you lived: your mother's blood, you being the owner of the Elder Wand, and the fact that you were a Horcrux." Harry shook his head and looked at Severus.

"I am alive today because Narcissa saved my life. Yes, the Elder wand saved me; there is no doubt about that. If I hadn't possessed that, I doubt the other two reasons you mentioned would have mattered, but Narcissa did save my life that night."

"Were you afraid when you faced the Dark Lord?" There were no reasons that Severus had for asking these questions, and the answers seemed obvious, but he was curious.

"I was terrified, but my parents were with me, and it is them who gave me the courage to face my death."

"It was unfair of Albus to send you to face your death."

"No, Severus. Unfair is me not growing up with a mother and father who loved me. Unfair is you growing up unloved. Unfair is you being reverted to an infant. What you call unfair saved my life. I had a piece of Voldemort in my head; he lived within me; he made me act out in ways that I wouldn't have otherwise. Had I not faced him, I might very well still be carrying around a piece of his soul with me."

That was an astute observation and it reminded Severus that as peculiar as Albus had been, he had ultimately been correct in his assumptions. "I owe you an apology, Harry, for the way I acted towards you during your years at Hogwarts. There were aspects of the way I acted that were necessary for my cover not to be revealed, but most of the time, I must admit that it was my immaturity that dictated the way I spoke to you."

"While we are apologizing, I owe you one as well, Severus. You did far more to help me than I ever knew, and without you, it is likely I would have never succeeded in my endeavor to kill Voldemort."

As Severus neared the doors to the entrance hall, he stopped and turned toward Harry, who also stopped. "Your mother was a beautiful person inside and out, and she meant more to me than anyone other than my mother. I made a promise to myself that I would protect you. I did, and I will."


	36. Chapter 36

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXXVI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,400  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings: this chapter has elements of het sex, but that bit is not to be missed. You will miss important information if you skip reading that part. There is also slash in this chapter.**  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

There weren't many Saturday or Sunday sunrises that Harry witnessed because such a feat would necessitate his being awake before eight, and that was an undertaking he rarely attempted. His usual response when someone requested he wake early on one of these days was always the same: weekends are for sleeping late. The last sunrise he'd seen during the weekend had been the morning after he'd bought his home in Bristol — he'd sat on the ground in front of the conservatory, not quite believing that such a beautiful view could be his each morning if he wished.

Carter and Harry were meeting for breakfast in London at 9:00 AM, so a yawning and stretching Harry found himself awake at 7:49 AM, looking out of his bedroom window watching the rising sun. As he admired the beauty that was a Scottish morning amidst the snow-covered moors, Harry dried his hair, then let the towel drop from his not-quite-dry body as he walked to the cupboard. He chose a pair of grey Chinos and a white zip neck jumper.

He grinned as he put on the jumper — Ginny had sent it to him last Christmas. She and her husband lived in Liverpool, but they might as well live in The United States. Molly was forever lamenting the absence of her daughter, and every once in a while, she would remind Harry how much she had wanted him to be her son-in-law.

Although he would never acknowledge such sentiments to Molly, Harry had wanted nothing more than to be her son-in-law, but no matter how much he'd tried to deny it, the fact that he'd found himself attracted to men, and not attracted to Ginny, hadn't gone away, and no matter how much he'd wanted to ignore his feelings, he'd ultimately chosen not to.

His telling Ginny that he was gay had been the most difficult thing Harry had ever done. Her response had been to cry, and then to tell him that she loved him, and always would. Harry had kissed her, then the two of them had ended up in bed together. Harry recalled that the sex had been rather good — better than it had been in a long while — but he also remembered that when his orgasm had hit him, he'd thought not of Ginny, but of someone else… someone who was dead.

After checking that he looked presentable, Harry grabbed his gloves, scarf, and coat, and left his rooms, excited about seeing Carter. He passed Sir Nicholas, who was ascending the stairs from the ground floor, and wondered if the ghosts still met for Deathday parties. Harry's memories of the one he'd attended made him a bit wistful for his younger years when Ron, Hermione, and he had roamed the corridors of Hogwarts. The translucent ghost gave Harry a curt nod, but said nothing.

Half an hour later, Harry stepped outdoors into Muggle London, and, as he did each time he arrived in the busy metropolis that was the capital of England, he thanked Merlin that he didn't live in the city. Carter had a flat in Chelsea, so Harry had an idea that he might be spending more time in this city than he'd like, but Harry thought it would be worth it.

He hailed a taxi and sometime later found himself at _Tom's Kitchen_ (Carter had told him they had to-die-for Belgium waffles). He entered and grinned when he saw Carter sitting on one of the barstools nearest the door.

"Is it always this crowded?" Harry asked as he leant against the bar and faced Carter, who looked quite dashing in khakis and a yellow jumper. Harry could get lost in those green eyes if given the chance.

"Yeah. Let's go up to the first floor so we can sit at the bar. A friend of mine is saving two stools for us."

Harry followed Carter up the stairs, and admired his bum as he did so. Once they were seated and had placed their order, Harry asked Carter how he liked living in Chelsea, then he told Carter that he wasn't that keen on London, but that it was growing on him.

As they ate and chatted, Harry caught Carter ogling him, and Harry knew he was doing the same to Carter. In the past, when Harry met someone, he and his partner had taken their relationship slowly; Harry had never been one to go out with someone and want to have sex straight away. Now, however, Harry only had one thought on his mind, and that was to get as close to Carter as he could. He didn't understand why he felt as he did, but he didn't care. All he cared about was Carter making him scream.

"You don't have any plans for today do you?" Carter asked Harry as he took a sip of his water.

"I set aside all day for you," Harry replied, perhaps a bit more meekly than he had intended, but it had been a long time since he had been with someone, and the mere idea of it was almost too much. It was only their second outing together; perhaps sex was not on the menu for today, but Harry hoped it was.

"Normally, I like to go to Kensington Gardens on Sunday afternoons, but I dare say we'd freeze our bums off. Not exactly a great day to be out and about," Carter said as he looked toward the window.

Harry turned his head toward the window and saw that snow was once again falling. "No, but it's a good day to be inside where it's warm." Harry knew he must be blushing as he looked back at Carter.

"We could go back to my flat and watch a movie and talk," Carter said, as he grinned and winked.

Harry had a fleeting thought that Carter seemed as anxious as he did to get closer. "Yeah, I'd like that."

Once they left, they kept their distance from each other as they walked to Carter's flat, but the minute they were inside, Carter pushed Harry against the door and kissed him, and it wasn't long before Harry kissed him back. Their clothes soon found their way to the floor, and Harry had to grasp the doorknob when Carter's talented tongue licked the underside of Harry's much-too-neglected cock.

Sometime later they gathered their clothes and walked upstairs to the first floor, where Carter's bedroom was. Harry, his breathing still not back to normal after his last orgasm, laid on his stomach and listened to Carter as he opened a drawer. When he felt Carter get on the bed and probe his much-too-neglected anus with a finger, Harry smiled and closed his eyes in anticipation of what was to come. Minutes later, he grasped the sheet and duvet as a second finger was added. It had been far too long since someone had done this to him, and Harry thought that there was no way he would go this this long without sex ever again.

Then he froze.

Someone with a magical signature was near, and not near as in the same road.

"Carter, there's someone in here, and I don't have a good feeling," Harry said as he tried to think what he should do. Carter had no idea that his soon to be sexual partner was a wizard.

"What? Did you hear something? I didn't hear anything."

Harry's breathing began to speed up. "Carter, I can't explain right now, but there's someone here and we are in danger." There was nothing for it — he summoned his wand, but before he could get his hands on it, he heard a popping noise, then heard Carter gasp.

Then everything went black.

* * *

Begins during breakfast in the Great Hall

After a restful night's sleep, Severus felt much better than he had in the past few days. He'd already visited with Magnolia, who was looking much improved; had begun setting up his office; and had ordered more potion ingredients, including several that were now almost impossible to procure. He had also stopped by to visit with Minerva, but she had been meeting with a student.

When the owls entered, Severus watched the students as they received their packages. There were smiles, frowns, laughter, and sharing of their goods with friends. Evee since he had been a student, Severus had been entranced by this time of the morning, even though he had never received any owl mail.

When he heard a sigh, he looked to his left and saw Derrington shaking his head. Then Derrington turned and looked at Severus; it was not a happy look, more like a pitying one.

"You might want to read this."

Severus took the offered _Daily Prophet_, and unfolded it, then frowned. It had taken all of one day before someone had written about what had happened to Severus, and whomever had done so, had left nothing out. Lucius's involvement was mentioned, as was his request to be given the Dementor's Kiss. Severus read the article, then gave it back to Derrington, and stood. He had lost his appetite.

On his way down to his rooms, Severus acknowledged the few students who greeted him, and he took a detour when he heard Peeves. He hadn't been inside his rooms for a minute when there was tapping at the window. He retrieved the parchment and opened it:

_You will pay. If you think what you have been through these past eleven years was bad, you are about to see how bad I can really be._

Severus left his rooms and ran to the hospital wing, passing students and staff as he went. Many of them asked him what was wrong, but he ignored them. Magnolia had to be okay. She was protected; no one could get to her while she was inside Hogwarts.

When he finally reached the doors, he ran to the back room where he saw his daughter and Poppy talking. Poppy looked at him, her face asking why his entrance had been such a dramatic one. Severus knew he must look frightful; he was out of breath, and he was distressed.

"Severus, what is wrong?"

"May I speak to you in your office, Poppy?" Once inside he placed silencing and locking charms around the room. "Lucius, or someone working for him, sent me a letter that said something bad was about to happen."

"Catch your breath, Severus. Magnolia is safe; no one is going to get her as long as she is here at Hogwarts."

Severus left the office and checked on Magnolia, who was now asleep.

An image of Harry popped into his mind.

Harry.

Poppy entered the room and Severus turned to her. "Poppy, make certain that no one is allowed in this room other than you and Minerva, and Harry if he comes to see her. May I use your Floo? I know we are only supposed to use it for emergencies; this is an emergency, Poppy," Severus said, fear now engulfing him.

"I don't understand. Of course you may use my Floo, but wh—"

"I can't explain now, Poppy. Remember what I said about Magnolia." Severus grabbed a handful of Floo powder and disappeared after saying _The Leaky Cauldron_.

When he stepped out of the Leaky Cauldron it took all of five seconds for the patrons to recognize Severus. He just did escape the onslaught of questions. He ran outside into Muggle London and hailed a taxi.

"Tom's Kitchen. 27 Cale Street, and make it fast; this is a matter of life and death." Severus's insistence that Harry tell him the address of the place he would be meeting Carter now seemed to be a stroke of genius, but it had been no more than Severus's constant vigilance. Moody had never been one of Severus's favorite people, but he had had the right idea when it came to being on the look-out for trouble — not that it had done him much good — he had ended up in a trunk for a year as someone else had impersonated him, and three years later, he had died as he had protected someone who was impersonating Harry.

As the taxi stopped, Severus reached into his cloak pocket and retrieved a handful of pounds (It was a good thing he always carried fifty pounds with him). He threw fifteen pounds at the driver, then stepped out and closed the door, then ran inside Tom's Kitchen.

"I need to speak to whomever is in charge, straight away; this is important," Severus said to the first person he saw who looked as if they worked there.

Five minutes later, Severus ran out of the door and took off towards the address he'd been given.

_Please let me be wrong_.

Severus ran until he reached the building where Carter's flat was located. He closed his eyes, but couldn't feel any foreign magical signatures. That was good. He found the correct flat and banged on the door. No one answered, so Severus pointed his wand at it and forced the door open.

He felt a trace of a magical signature, but it was probably Harry's. Severus took a breath and released it. Then he heard a moan, and his blood went cold. It wasn't the pleasurable moan one would expect to hear when two people were engaged in sexual activities — it was a painful moan.

"Harry?" He ran down the passage and checked all the rooms on the ground floor, but found no one. He then ascended the stairs and knew Harry was nearby. The first room was empty, but the second one was a bedroom. Severus entered and heard the moaning from the other side of the bed. He found someone covered in blood — not Harry — lying in a pool of blood. Severus removed his cloak and tried to stop the bleeding, but there was too much of it. Severus did a quick search of the other rooms, but Harry was no where to be found. Severus went back into the bedroom, gathered the naked man in his arms, and Disapparated. He hadn't Apparated in a long while but he had no time to travel any other way.

He arrived at the Apparition point and ran to the castle. He covered the man with the bloody robe, then entered the castle and ran to the hospital wing.

"Poppy, this is Carter, Harry's friend. Someone used Sectumsempra on him. Harry wasn't there. They have taken him. I've got to go find him. Please take care of Carter."


	37. Chapter 37

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXXVII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,470  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings: Mentions of torture, including attempted rape; near-death scenario; language**  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**

Harry was barely conscious, but he could feel someone moving him by his arms. It was cold. So cold. Where was he? He tried to open his eyes, but couldn't. Someone let him fall to the ground. He hit his head on the stone floor. He lost consciousness.

* * *

After alerting Minerva and Arthur what had happened, Severus returned to Carter's flat to see if he could find anything that might lead him to Harry. When he entered the bedroom, his first thought was that he couldn't believe Carter had lived: The section of the floor where he'd been found was covered in blood. Unfortunately, nothing that looked like finger prints or hand prints were anywhere to be found. Severus's eyes then focused on… Harry's wand — most of it hidden by a pillow — it seemed to stick out like a… wizard's wand in a Muggle flat. He performed several charms, but the wand revealed nothing that would lead Severus to its owner.

Severus performed the Patronus Charm to inform Arthur what he had found, then he descended the stairs and was about to open the door to leave when he saw Harry's coat thrown haphazardly on the floor. Severus didn't need to imagine why it was on the floor by the door. He retrieved it, then left.

* * *

Next time Harry woke, he screamed. His skin was covered in blood, and he hurt everywhere. He tried not to think about how much it hurt, but the pain consumed his every thought. He eventually cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Severus's next stop was Azkaban, and thanks to Arthur, Severus was immediately admitted into the fortress. A guard took him to a holding room, and a few minutes later, Lucius entered, his hands and feet chained. After his guard led him to a chair and helped him sit, he backed up against the wall and nodded to Severus, alerting him that it was alright to speak. Severus wished the guard would leave him and Lucius alone, but that was not going to happen.

"Where is Harry, Lucius?" There was no time to exchange meaningless banter, and Severus could barely stand to look at the man whom he had once thought so highly of. The smug smile Lucius wore taunted Severus.

"No _hello, Lucius_, or _how are you, Lucius,_? My my, Severus, how very churlish."

"Where is Harry?" Severus asked, trying his best to control his anger — he was so close to hitting Lucius, and he would if not for the fact that he couldn't afford to get himself thrown in Azkaban. "I want to know, now, Lucius. What did you do with him?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Severus. Chained up as I am, I am in no position to do anything. And they call _me_ delusional."

"I know you are behind this, Lucius. I know you are the one who had the letter sent to me this morning. If you have a score to settle with me, I suggest you settle it with me. If you think you can have me killed, try it. If my punishment for what I did to you and your wife is death, then that is fine with me. I can live with that. I deserve that. Harry had absolutely nothing to do with what I did over ten years ago. Do not make him suffer for that which I did." Lucius's grin increased, and Severus could feel as his control began to slip. He had never loathed anyone as much as he did Lucius.

"Answer me a question, Severus. Why do you care what happens to Potter? If I recall correctly, you couldn't stand him when he was a student. You told me on several occasions that he was a spoiled brat and it would have been better had he died along with his parents."

Leave it to Lucius to throw the ugly truth back in Severus's face and to remind him of how wayward his past had been. Severus had said that Harry should have died that night, and he had meant it. However, that was in the past, a past where he had said and done many things that he was ashamed of. "Not all of us live in the past, Lucius. I have grown since that unfortunate period in my life. It is quite obvious that you have not."

"You haven't answered my question. Why do you care what happens to him?"

"He doesn't deserve this. Lucius."

"I think you love him, Severus," Lucius said as he tried to lean closer to Severus. His chains impeded his attempt. "Do you want to know why I think that? I remember the night that the Dark Lord was about to punish me severely for speaking to him before he had spoken to me first. I see it in your eyes — you remember that night. You pleaded with the Dark Lord not to punish me. You risked your life to save me. You did it because you loved me. And you are pleading for Harry's life because you love him."

Lucius was so far off base. Severus ignored the preposterous comment. "If you ever cared for me, Lucius, you will not harm Harry any more than you already have. I want him back at Hogwarts tonight. If you hurt Harry — if he does not return, I will kill you, and do not doubt me." Severus then turned to the guard. "I have said all I need to say."

* * *

Harry next woke to see a man standing over him, laughing as he wielded a whip in his hand. Harry tried to scream when the whip hit his back, but couldn't. He wished they'd kill him. When the man finally stopped, Harry watched, horrified, as the man removed his clothing.

"I'm going to find out how good of a fuck Harry Potter is. I heard that you and your loverboy were about to fuck and that you were moaning. I want to hear you moan for me."

Harry shook his head as much as he could, but every movement sent sharp pain coursing throughout his body. Then another man entered and hit the naked man hard enough to make him fall to the ground. The man then dragged the naked man out of the room and left Harry alone. Harry tried to scream again, but he hadn't the strength to even whisper.

* * *

"Severus, I have told you: My father would not inform me if he had ordered someone to kidnap Harry. He is delusional half the time, but he is not that far gone."

Had Severus expected Draco to reply differently? Certainly not. Severus knew Lucius too well, but when he'd left Azkaban, he knew he had to at least question Draco. "Do you have any idea where Harry could have been taken? Did your father ever mention any other places where he or the Dark Lord kept prisoners? I have checked the places I am aware of, but have found nothing."

"I wish I could help, Severus, but I have nothing that can help you. My father was never one to include me in his business dealings."

Draco could be withholding information, but Severus didn't think so. "If I find out that you knew where Harry was and didn't tell me, I assure you, Draco, you will wish you were dead."

* * *

Harry's next bout of consciousness found him unable to open his eyes, but the fact that he was freezing and lying in what must be ice or snow, as well as the sounds he heard, seemed to indicate that he was outdoors. He couldn't move, but he could feel immense pain — it was far worse than his almost dying had been eleven years earlier.

* * *

A cup of tea was handed to Severus as he, Arthur, Minerva, and Kingsley stood over a map of Manchester. That was where Severus had been found when he had been kidnapped, and Arthur thought it was a good place to begin searching for Harry. Percy and a group of Aurors had already left for Manchester, and Kingsley was about to leave with another group.

They didn't have much time; Severus knew that Lucius wouldn't hesitate to have Harry killed, and the killing part might actually not be the worst of what would be done to him.

No, he couldn't allow these thoughts to invade his mind. Harry was going to be fine. Severus took a sip of tea, then set the cup down when Arthur asked him for Harry's coat and wand. Severus retrieved the two items from his robe pocket, returned the coat to its normal size, and hesitantly handed both to Arthur.

After Kingsley left, Severus walked over to the window and looked toward the Forbidden Forest. It was completely dark; the moon, what there was of it, was blocked from view by clouds. The wind, which had been relentless the previous night, was now non-existent. He turned away and left the room. He needed to go check on Magnolia and Carter.

Poppy sat beside the bed Carter occupied, and as Severus stood in the doorway, he could tell that Carter's condition wasn't good. He entered the room, walked over to Magnolia's bed, and smiled at the peaceful look his sleeping daughter wore on her face. He hesitantly let his hand settle on her forehead. "Her temperature has risen."

"Yes, it has been fluctuating most of the day, but all of her other vital signs are fine. I am monitoring her closely, Severus," Poppy responded, wearily.

"I apologize, Poppy; I know that you are taking excellent care of my daughter. I just worry."

"No need to apologize. If I had a child, and she were as ill as Magnolia is, I'd be just as concerned as you are."

"How is Carter? He doesn't look at all good," Severus said as he walked over to the bed Poppy was seated by.

"I never was as good at healing these types of wounds as you. He should recover, but he is going to be badly scarred, much worse than Mr. Malfoy was."

Images of that night unsettled Severus; he had been so afraid that Draco would die, and had reacted immediately. Unfortunately, it hadn't occurred to Severus to try to heal Carter as soon as he found him, but he had been thinking about Harry. "Were there any other curses on his body?"

"No, but someone did kick him in the ribs a fair few times. Six of his ribs are broken. I gave him—" But Poppy stopped speaking when she heard a bang from her office.

Severus watched as she went to her office, and then as she returned, her face almost completely white as she handed Severus a piece of parchment. He looked at it and froze… momentarily.

_Potter is in the Forbidden Forest._

"Someone threw it through the Floo. I don't know how they were ab—"

Severus didn't wait to hear Poppy finish her thought, but he knew what she was going to say: no one, other than Arthur, Minerva, Harry, and now him should have been able to Floo-call the hospital wing. That was not good, and scared Severus since his daughter currently slept in the back room of the hospital wing, but he would have to deal with that dilemma later. At the moment, his objective was to get to Harry. It might not be as windy or as cold as it had been the previous night, but it was still far too cold for anyone to be out in the elements while not dressed for the weather. He ran as quickly as his legs would allow, and thankfully there weren't many students roaming the corridors.

Once outdoors, Severus ran to the edge of the forest and pointed his wand toward the trees, then pulled out a box that had been in Harry's coat pocket. Severus aimed his wand at the box. "Find Harry Potter."

"A beam of light shot out of his wand and led the way into the Forest. Severus followed where it led him. He walked for what seemed like minutes, then he saw him — Harry was a few meters away lying on his back, naked and bloody, with what appeared to be several broken bones. He was not moving or making any sounds. Severus knelt down before the broken body and touched Harry's neck and tried to find a pulse. There was the slightest indication of life, but not much. Severus's immediate inclination was to pick up the injured Harry and take him to the hospital wing, but that was far too risky. Instead, he conjured a stretcher and walked beside it until they were in the castle, then he directed it through the corridors, and was once again thankful that students were not out and about. When he arrived at the hospital wing, Poppy met him at the door and led him to a bed in the back room beside Carter. Severus glanced toward Magnolia's bed.

"I placed a silencing charm around this bed so Magnolia and Carter won't hear Harry, and he won't hear them, Severus."

Severus watched as Poppy examined Harry, and he knew that it was bad. She looked up and shook her head. "His heart has stopped, Severus, and I don't know if it would be better to try to bring him back or to let him go."

Severus sat on the edge of the bed Harry was in and placed his right hand over Harry's heart. There was no movement beneath his hand, and one look at Harry told Severus that his body had been put through hours of torture. Severus had begged for death many times, but he had never been given that reprieve. He knew Harry would rather die than be brought back if he were going to be in such pain, but there was no way Severus was going to allow Harry to die. He placed his other hand over his right one and began compressions as he looked at Harry's bloody face and willed those eyes to open. "He is not going to die, Poppy; he is going to live. You have to live, Harry. Do not die on me," Severus said, feeling as if he were close to showing how much he cared. Harry had to live. Severus half-expected Poppy to try to stop him. She didn't, but after two minutes, she did try.

"Severus, he's gone. I'm sorry, but his body couldn't take the damage."

"No," Severus replied calmly as he threw her hand off his and continued the compressions. "He did not give up on me, and I am not going to give up on him."


	38. Chapter 38

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXXVIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,200  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirty-Eight**

"Severus, Harry is gone. Let him go," Poppy said, gently, yet authoritatively, as she neared and reached out to remove his hands.

No. Harry was only in a deep sleep; he was not dead. Severus shook his head as he felt himself remove his hands from Harry's motionless chest. "Wake up, Potter. Do not die on me," Severus said, his voice much louder. "Let me see that you are alive. Give me a sign. Come on, Potter." Severus then took Harry's left hand in his. "Squeeze my hand, Harry." There was no movement and Severus felt no pressure on his hand, but he gasped when a tear rolled down Harry's cheek. From her reaction, Poppy had seen it as well.

"Oh my. Did you see that, Severus?"

All Severus could do was nod, even though he knew Poppy was not looking at him — she was tending to Harry.

"He has a pulse; it is weak, but it is there," Poppy said as she conjured a bowl of water and flannel. She began removing the blood from Harry's face. "I need to clean him so I can see the extent of his injuries before I complete the scan."

As Poppy continued to clean Harry, Severus leaned down so he could speak to Harry. "Fight, Harry. Do not give up."

A moan from the next bed startled Severus. He turned and watched as Carter opened his eyes. They were almost as green as Harry's. "Poppy, I'll clean Harry; you take care of Carter." Severus took the bowl and flannel, and began wiping away the blood from Harry's face. It wasn't easy — every inch of Harry looked to be injured, and Severus didn't want to hurt him any more than he already was. As he removed the blood from beneath Harry's eyes, he tried to be gentle. There was no movement at all from Harry, but Severus knew that Harry had to be in a lot of pain. He held Harry's chin with his left hand and carefully removed the blood from Harry's nose, chin, then he cleaned Harry's ears, and that was what finally elicited a reaction out of Harry: He let out a small groan.

Severus thought about cleaning the remainder of Harry with his wand, but he wouldn't because Poppy needed to see the extent of his injuries first before he channeled magic into Harry.

Once Harry's face was free of blood, Severus used his fingers to brush back the fringe from Harry's forehead. His temperature was extremely high. Severus summoned another flannel, dipped it in clean water, and wiped off Harry's forehead. He then turned to Poppy. "His temperature has risen dangerously high."

Poppy left the room and returned with a potion. "Give him two drops of this."

Severus took the vial of fever-reducing potion and measured out two drops. "Harry, I'm going to give you a fever-reducing potion. Can you help me by opening your mouth?" As expected, there was no movement, but that was not a problem. Severus needed only to get the potion past Harry's lips — the potion would dissolve into Harry's system. Severus placed two drops worth into the small mouth. "Can you swallow?" Severus asked. Again, there was no response.

"Harry, can you hear me?" Severus said as he leaned down and spoke to the seemingly lifeless body. Then he reached down and grasped a small bloody hand in his. "Can you squeeze my hand, Harry?" There was nothing — Harry was silent and motionless, and appeared lifeless, but Severus had seen the tear. Harry was there; he was alive.

Poppy's voice roused Severus from his thoughts.

"You may not get out of bed, Carter; you have six broken ribs," Poppy said as she checked his temperature.

"Harry? Is he alright?"

Carter sounded much stronger than Severus thought he would after such an ordeal.

"He was badly injured and hasn't yet woken up," Poppy replied.

"Where am I?"

Severus tuned out the remainder of the conversation and concentrated on removing the blood from Harry's neck and chest. He tried to guess the curses used, but there were so many of them that it was impossible to define each one. He could tell that someone had used a whip, and he thought someone had probably kicked him in the ribs, but that could have been a curse.

After Harry's upper body was free of blood, Severus lowered the sheet and did a cursory examination of Harry's lower body before he began wiping away the blood. Harry's legs and feet looked to have been broken, and there was a large open gash on Harry's right thigh, but there didn't seem to be any evidence of sexual assault, which was a relief, but only a small one. The amount of pain that must have been inflicted on Harry had to have been overpowering, and Severus hoped that Harry had been unconscious for most of it.

"Severus? Carter is asleep. Let me finish. You need to go inform Arthur and Minerva how Harry is, and I insist you get some rest. I have an idea that you are going to be a constant in here, and if I am going to have to put up with that, then I insist that you get plenty of rest."

"How is Harry's friend?" asked a tired Severus. He didn't want to leave, but he did need sleep.

"Carter will be fine. I am going to have him transferred to a Muggle hospital in London; if I know Harry well enough, and I believe I do, this young man has no idea that he currently sleeps in the midst of wizards and witches. We do not need a hysterical Muggle in here at the moment. I hope Harry understands."

"I think he will, Poppy," Severus replied, his voice sounding tired. There were several questions he had wanted to ask Poppy, such as what had she meant with that statement about knowing that he was going to be a constant, but he hadn't the strength to ask any of them. He set down the flannel and bowl on the bedside table, then lightly squeezed Harry's hand before standing and walking over to the bed his daughter slept in. He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, then walked to the door before looking back at both Harry and Magnolia. They had to get better.

His first stop was Minerva's office, and he wasn't surprised to see Arthur, but he was somewhat surprised to see Molly.

"Oh, Severus! How is he? Is he going to be okay?" enquired Molly, her voice shaking.

Severus stood against the window and shook his head. "Poppy hasn't completed her scan of him yet, but it is obvious that he has been badly injured. He has yet to regain consciousness, although he did shed a tear."

"Will he live?" Arthur asked.

"We almost lost him. I don't know if he has the strength to survive, but Poppy is doing all she can for him. If you'll excuse me, I need to go." Severus left Minerva's office and made his way to his room, then he removed his clothing and walked to the bathroom and stepped into the shower. His every move was robot-like. He found himself washing his hair, drying his body, putting on a pair of boxers, climbing into bed, wishing sleep would claim him, praying to some unknown entity that Harry would recover.

* * *

When Harry awoke, he wanted to scream. He was in such pain; so much worse than what he had imagined a painful death would be like. Unlike earlier, however, now he wasn't cold. Wherever he was, it was dry and warm. He tried to open his eyes, but couldn't. "Hurts," Harry said, albeit that is not at all what it sounded like to his ears when it came out of his throat.

Then someone was touching his face, and opening his eyes. It was so bright. He tried to get away, but couldn't move. It hurt so bad. He wanted the pain to stop.

"Harry? Can you hear me? It's Poppy. You're in the hospital wing."

"Ca... Cart… sect..." but Harry hadn't enough strength to get the words out. He wanted to know how Carter was.

"Shh. Carter is going to be fine, Harry; he has been transferred to a Muggle hospital."

Harry tried to speak again, but instead felt himself losing consciousness. The last thing he remembered was someone touching his face.

* * *

_Harry will be missed by all. His loss is immense and no one who knew him will ever forget him. I loved him as if he were my own brother, and you can't know how difficult this is for me. I had to bury a brother eleven years ago. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. And today I am having to bury my best friend. I loved him, and I wish I would've told him. He deserved to know_.

Severus sat up in his bed and tried to catch his breath. It had only been a dream. Weasley had not really given a Eulogy. Harry was alive. Severus shook his head and moved his hair out of his eyes.

It was much too early to wake, but Severus knew he'd be getting no more sleep. He showered, dressed, then went into the kitchen and made a pot of tea.

Tea in hand, he sat on the sofa and summoned the box that he had found in Harry's coat pocket. It was none of his business, but he was curious, so he opened it. He removed a parchment and saw what appeared to be a diary or journal. He set it down and opened the parchment:

_Happy Christmas, Severus. Hermione found this and thought you might want to read it; it is a journal that you kept when you were younger. You should read it. I have not tried to open it, so don't think that I have been reading it._

Harry

Severus set down the parchment and picked up the journal and ran his hand over it. This had been his? And he had written in it when he had been a child for the second time? He opened it (he had the idea that had Harry or anyone else tried to open it, it wouldn't have worked for them) and saw his name in his small handwriting. He turned the page and began reading.

For the next hour, Severus read about happy times with his mother, then the entries turned somber, and those lasted about half an hour. Then the entries turned somewhat happier when the young Severus moved in with Professor Potter.

Half an hour later Severus entered the hospital wing. Magnolia was asleep, but Severus could tell that she had been awake because she was wearing different pajamas. Poppy was seated by Harry's bed, wiping away his tears. He was awake, and his green eyes, although almost swollen shut, turned to look at him.

Poppy turned around and smiled. "Good morning, Severus. You can take my place. He can't speak yet, but he has been crying for the past hour. Just talk to him and assure him that he is going to be fine. He has improved quite a bit since you left. If you need me, you know how to call me. I'll be back before he needs any potions."

After Severus asked Poppy a few questions, he sat down by Harry's bed and watched as she left, then he turned toward Harry. Green eyes looked at him through slits, and the flow of tears seemed to slow. Severus wiped them away with his thumb. Harry continued to look at him, no expression on his face. Or perhaps it was one of pain.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Hurts," said Harry, his voice barely understandable.

Severus summoned a cup of water and a cup of ice chips to him, wet his finger, and pressed it to Harry's lip to see if Harry would make any movement to get the water. It probably wasn't the most sanitary thing to do, but Harry had to be thirsty and Severus was going to help him drink any way he could. Harry's mouth opened, but only slightly, and his lips barely made any movement, but Severus did feel the slightest bit of pressure on his finger, and he could see Harry trying to suck it into his mouth further. Severus removed his finger, retrieved an ice chip, and placed it against Harry's lips. Harry's mouth opened a bit wider, and Severus placed the ice chip between Harry's lips and watched as the small pink lips closed around both the ice chip and the tip of Severus's finger, and sucked. When Harry opened his mouth, Severus removed the ice chip and set it on the bedside table.

"More," Harry said as he shut his eyes.

Severus placed a fresh ice chip against Harry's lips and just as before, Harry sucked on it for a few seconds, then stopped. Severus then took Harry's left hand in his. "Squeeze my hand, Harry, can you do that?" There was pressure, but not much. "When you are hurting, or if you need something, squeeze my hand. I'm not leaving, Harry."


	39. Chapter 39

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XXXIX  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,070  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Thirty-Nine**

5 Os  
7 Es  
6 As  
2 Ps

Never before had Severus marked so many first year essays with Os and Es. When he'd taught, it had been a rarity for him to mark a parchment as such, but then again, his students had rarely turned in essays deserving of an O. These students, taught by Harry Potter, had deserved such high marks, and Severus knew that the reason for the improved marks was not a brighter group of students: it was Harry's methods of conveying what he taught.

The last parchment marked, Severus placed it on top of the others, then tidied Harry's desk. Unlike Severus, Harry kept his work area almost immaculate. There were a few items on his desk, but not many. After the desk was free of parchment, quill, and ink, Severus found himself looking at the only picture on the desk, again — it was as if something were compelling him to study the picture of Harry with the young Severus. That Severus looked happy and content with his lot in life, an achievement which the adult Severus had never managed. Severus envied that little boy, and perhaps he envied Harry.

Once he tidied the office and put out the fire, Severus left and closed the door, thankful that he had no more lessons until Monday morning.

When Minerva had asked him to teach Harry's classes until the end of term, Severus had been apprehensive, but he'd agreed, knowing that it would be good practice for next term when he would be the Potions master.

His first few lessons had been rather difficult because the students hadn't reacted well to Severus's acerbic and authoritative methods, but after a second year had been brave (or possibly foolish) enough to approach Severus after one such lesson to point out that Professor Potter didn't raise his voice in class, all had been… if not exactly ideal, perhaps better, at least after an indignant Severus had regained his composure after being called out on his teaching methods. Through clinched teeth, he had asked what Professor Potter did when students misbehaved, and the student had said that the students rarely misbehaved because when they did, Professor Potter wouldn't help them or answer their questions. A flummoxed Severus had summarily dismissed the student as well as what she said, but in subsequent lessons, he had tried not to raise his voice. He hadn't completely succeeded in his endeavor, but as the days passed, both he and the students began to learn what the other needed and expected. Severus was not pleased that he was going to have to alter his teaching methods, but he could not argue with the marks he had been giving over the past few days.

As he turned the corner, he almost ran into Sean Derrington. The Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor seemed intent on being friendly to Severus. Harry, Severus could tolerate, but he didn't wish to be friendly with Derrington or any other staff members.

"Hello, Severus, how were the seventh years?"

"Tolerable," Severus replied, coolly.

"Did Jones give you any problems?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"I overheard him talking to some of the other seventh years. Apparently, he was planning on disrupting your lesson. I took five points as well as his privileges for Hogsmeade/Quidditch weekend."

A rather harsh punishment for merely voicing one's thoughts, but Severus applauded the interdiction. He nodded, but said nothing.

"Are you going to the hospital wing?"

Not that it was any of Derrington's business. "Yes."

"How is Harry? He was asleep when I stopped by this morning."

"He's not doing very well. His body won't let him keep down any of the potions Poppy gives him."

"Is he going to be okay?"

"I wish I could say yes, but he is growing weaker. He hasn't opened his eyes since Tuesday. If you'll excuse me, I must be on my way." Severus, not waiting for a reply, turned and continued towards the stairs that would take him to the ground floor. He should probably try to be friendlier, but it was not who he was, and Derrington was leaving in a week, so it wasn't as if Severus needed to work with the man in future.

As he continued toward the hospital wing, Severus retrieved the parchment from his robe pocket and opened it: it was a list of Harry's injuries that Severus had requested so he could try to create potions to help him. Thus far, he had been moderately successful, but the potions only worked for a few hours, and they didn't block the pain Harry was in, merely muted it somewhat. No matter how long it took, Severus was determined to help Harry improve. Unfortunately, Harry's immediate future looked bleak and painful.

_Concussion  
fractured clavicle  
seven broken ribs  
broken right arm  
fractured right wrist  
shattered right knee  
fractured left foot  
14 deep stab wounds  
50 superficial wounds  
abrasions on 60% of the body  
six different curses, including Sectumsempra  
potions found in system that weakened heart_

The first eleven injuries, while bad, were already healing and would one day not be visible, but the eleventh ailment would never heal completely, although its effects might never be visible. Poppy seemed to think that Harry would regain most of his strength, but it was likely that he would never be as strong as he had been before.

This was the only ailment Harry had not been told about; Poppy wanted to wait until his other injuries had healed. Severus didn't agree with her withholding such important information from Harry, but he did have to agree with the notion that Harry might give up and allow himself to waste away if he knew his heart was as weak as it was.

* * *

When he awoke, Harry heard breathing near him; someone was sitting by his bed. He tried to open his eyes, but couldn't. Why couldn't he open his eyes? He'd been in the hospital wing for five days. Poppy said he was getting better, but he was in even more pain now than he had been in the day he arrived in the hospital wing, and his eyes, which he'd been able to open the first day, now wouldn't open. Poppy said it was due to swelling.

Harry felt helpless and hated being so dependent on others, and the worst part, other than the pain, was his complete inability to decipher what time of day it was. His not being able to see disoriented him, and it was disconcerting.

From the way they were breathing, Harry knew that whomever was sitting by his bed was someone young, and there was only one student who would be allowed to see him.

"Mgn… M… a… g?"

"Hi, Professor Potter. I hope you don't mind me sitting by your bed. I was tired of lying in mine so Madam Pomfrey let me get out and help her clean her office, and I asked her if I could come sit with you."

"How…y…fee… you okay?"

"Madam Pomfrey says I am almost all better. Daddy Severus won't let me go to lessons next week; he says I am to stay in here until we leave for Christmas hols. But he and I are having supper in his rooms tonight. I was so happy when he asked me."

Harry smiled, but he knew Magnolia wouldn't be able to see it. He was happy that Severus seemed to be trying with Magnolia. He opened his mouth to try to say as much, but a pain shot through his body. He could feel his body beginning to convulse.

"Madam Pomfrey? Come quick! Something is wrong with Professor Potter," said a scared Magnolia.

Harry knew when Poppy neared by her breathing, and because she tended to make a distinct sound when she was taking his vitals.

"Magnolia? Could you do me a favor and go in my office and get me a vial of the blue potion that is on my desk? It has Professor Potter's name, Harry, on it in your Daddy Severus's writing."

Another sharp pain ripped through Harry's body and he began crying. Then his mouth was opened and he felt as Poppy placed three drops on his tongue. Almost immediately, the pain stopped, but the tears didn't. Harry was frustrated and exhausted, no matter that he had only just woken up after being asleep all afternoon. He thought he heard the door open. Poppy's hands moved his fringe out of his eyes, and Harry began to calm down, but then a pain worse than anything he had ever felt went through him as someone touched his left foot. He screamed, then felt nauseous. He was sick and he could feel it on his nightshirt and on the sheet and duvet. He was sick three more times, then felt himself being lifted from the bed. It was Severus. He smelled like Harry smelled when he had been creating potions.

"Harry, it is me, Severus."

As Harry fought off more nausea, he felt as Severus removed his soiled nightshirt and cleaned the sick off of him. Then a hand wiped his tears away and a cold flannel was placed on his forehead. A few seconds later he was lowered back onto a freshly made bed.

"Severus, will you please go turn on the tap?" asked Poppy. "Harry, I need to see if your wounds and bruising are better so we know how much potion to put in the water. Magnolia, love, please go wait in my office. We are about to bathe Professor Potter."

Harry heard as the door opened and closed, then felt as his pants were removed. He had never felt so helpless. As Poppy examined his lower body, Harry tried to think about something else. He didn't want to think about Poppy looking at his bum and bits. Surprisingly, it didn't bother him when Severus saw him naked, but he cringed thinking about Poppy doing so.

As Poppy touched his left foot, Harry again became nauseous, and was sick. He was lifted into Severus's arms, and, as he had done each previous time, he rested his head against the robe that smelled of ginger.

"Severus, I am going to increase the potion today. Put three vials in the water; perhaps that will help."

Harry didn't hear a reply, but he knew that Severus probably nodded. Harry had never thought about how much communication was non-verbal, but now that he couldn't see, he appreciated what sight meant. Yes, he had bad eyesight and didn't like that he had to wear glasses, but never again would he take his sight for granted.

Harry could feel the change in the atmosphere as Severus carried him into the bathroom — it smelled like vanilla, and it was warm, unlike the other room, which was kept cold. When he was set down in the bath, he clung to Severus; it hurt so badly. Severus never let him go, and began washing his face. The pain was unbearable, and Harry felt himself slipping away.

* * *

After Harry's face was cleaned with the medicated water, Severus moved to his chest, then arms, then legs, then his private bits. He then turned Harry over and cleaned his back. It had been this area that had been the worst, and even as the wounds were healing, there were still visible remnants of whip marks that would leave scars. Once Severus had carefully cleaned and treated Harry's back, he moved down to the legs, then bum, then he decided to wash Harry's hair.

As sad as it was that a mere bath could render someone unconscious, it did make it easier for Severus to bathe Harry — his body was relaxed, and he couldn't feel the pain.

Once he finished, Severus retrieved a towel and wrapped Harry in it, then he carried him to the bed, where he removed the towel and began applying salve to Harry's chest. He could hear Poppy speaking to Magnolia in the other room. His daughter was laughing, and Severus thought he had never heard a more pleasant sound in his life.

A groan from Harry returned Severus's thoughts to the task at hand. "Are you awake, Harry?" Severus grasped Harry's hand and felt a slight squeeze. "Can you open your eyes for me?" A few seconds later, he watched as a tear rolled down Harry's face. "It's okay, Harry, just rest."


	40. Chapter 40

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XL  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,600  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst, and mention of past marital infidelity  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Forty**

_Severus,_

Your letter was, as you can imagine, unexpected. I must confess that your past deeds make me wary of any dealings with you, but, as you said, Magnolia is family. Teddy and I would very much like to meet her. Teddy cannot wait to teach her some of his tricks. I must warn you now, Severus, raising a Metamorphmagus can be a rather exhausting undertaking.

Teddy and I are going out of the country for Christmas, and Teddy does not wish to wait until January to meet Magnolia. We could come to Hogwarts this weekend if that would be agreeable with you.

As you can guess, this is not entirely to help you or your daughter. My grandson has a godfather who is very ill. Perhaps seeing Teddy will help Harry.

Please reply by owl if this is amenable to you.

Andromeda Tonks

Yes, perhaps Teddy could help Harry. Severus penned a reply and sent it off with the owl who had been flapping her wings impatiently for the past ten minutes. That done, he entered the kitchen, sat at the table, and watched his mother preparing tea as she talked to her granddaughter. Severus had an idea that his daughter and mother were going to be inseparable, and that was more than fine with him. His mother visited Magnolia at least three times a day in the hospital wing, and she was the typical doting grandmother who sent her grandchild sweets and other items which parents would never approve of, yet allowed.

His mother and he had lived a chaotic life, and Severus couldn't help but think about everything they had been through. She had protected her son the best she could from his father's wrath, and then when Severus had been given a second chance after making a bad decision, his mother had pretended she was someone else for over sixteen years in order to protect him. Severus would never be able to repay his mother for the sacrifices she had made for him.

Many years earlier, before Severus had been de-aged, his mother had told him that she would do anything to protect him, including sacrificing her life. A love that selfless and complete had been impossible for Severus to comprehend, but looking at his daughter, he understood.

His having a daughter — it seemed surreal and impossible — but there was no denying that she was his — she looked like him in every way except for her nose and eyes. Even her mannerisms were his.

One trait that she had which was definitely not from Severus was her personality: she was every bit as outgoing and friendly as the curly-red-headed girl had been.

Magnolia turned her head and smiled at him. Severus returned the smile.

"Would you like a cup of tea, Daddy Severus? Nana Prince taught me how to make it the way you like it."

Severus nodded and watched his daughter carefully bring the cup of tea to him. "Thank you, Magnolia." He took a sip. "Strong, just like I prefer it to be. Magnolia, could you please sit down? I need to tell you some things." Severus looked over at his mother, who nodded her head and then mouthed that it would be fine. She then left the kitchen. Severus wished his mother would stay, but she'd said this was a talk he and his daughter needed to have alone.

"Is this about my mother?" Magnolia asked as she sat across from her father.

"It is. Would you like me to tell you about her?" Magnolia smiled and nodded. Severus retrieved a picture from his robe pocket and handed it to his daughter. "Her name was Narcissa Malfoy."

"She was so pretty."

"You have her nose and eyes." Pretty had never been a word Severus would think of as describing Narcissa, but children had a way of looking past flaws when it came to their parents, and Severus was no different. His mother was beautiful to him, even if her features were sharp and severe. "You also have her personality. With age she became more withdrawn, but in her younger years, your mother was quite the social flutterby. I see much of her in you; she would be very proud of you."

"What happened to her?"

Severus had no idea what to tell his daughter, but he would do the best he could. "Before I tell you what happened to her, I need to explain something to you that is very difficult for me to say, and it might upset you to hear it, but you need to know the truth." Magnolia gave him a slight nod. "I need to ask if you know how babies are _made_." Severus had almost used the word conceived, but Magnolia might not know what that word meant. Severus could feel the perspiration — this parenting business was not going to be easy. Never would he have imagined that he'd be having this conversation with anyone, but if he was going to be a proper father to his daughter, he knew this would probably only be the beginning of many difficult and awkward conversations.

"Yes, sir, I do."

Not exactly an assuring statement — she might have been told something that was untrue, but at the moment, Severus assumed she knew the correct method of conceiving a baby. "Your mother was married to another man, Magnolia. He had to go away, and when he was gone, your mother and I conceived you." Severus waited for his daughter's reaction, and he could tell the second she realized what he was saying. She frowned.

"That is bad, Daddy Severus. Why would you do that?"

"I don't have an answer for you, Magnolia. What we did was very bad and wrong, and no one should ever do what we did because it hurts so many people. I do regret that I caused pain, but I will never regret that you were the result, and neither would your mother." It was very important that Magnolia understand this. She was not a mistake. Severus knew what being called a mistake did to a child, and he would never ever do that to his child.

"How did she die?"

"She helped to save Harry Potter's life, and some people were very upset with her about that, thus, they had her killed."

"What happened to me?"

This was the part Severus had dreaded the most because he had no answers. "I wish I knew, Magnolia, but I have no answers for you. Someone took you, but I do not know how or why."

"It was her husband, wasn't it? He took me."

"No, he was in Azkaban, but it was someone from his family who took you, and he raised you as his own."

"He was good to me; he made me laugh and he taught me all about the wizarding world and he took me around the world."

"Yes, you seem to have been brought up with love, and in a happy environment. I am grateful to him for that."

"But what he did was wrong; he took me from my mother and you."

"Yes, it was very wrong of him."

"I'm sorry that he took me away from you and my mother."

Severus opened his mouth to reply, but then he thought about what she had said. Oddly enough, Magnolia had probably benefited from being taken away because both of her parents were soon killed or de-aged, and she most likely would have been sent to an orphanage. It was a sobering thought.

"You are here now, Magnolia, and that is what matters. Is there anything else about your mother you would like to know?"

"Did she have any other children?"

"She had a son, Draco. He went to Hogwarts with Professor Potter. He might possibly be coming over tonight to meet you. Would you like to meet him?"

"I'd like that very much."

Almost as if it had been planned, the wards went off alerting Severus that Draco had arrived. "That is him. Why don't you get the biscuits from the cabinet under the counter, and put them on the table while I go get him."

* * *

When Harry woke, he could tell that someone had turned him over onto his stomach, and he could feel Poppy's fingers as they applied salve to his back. It didn't hurt quite as much as it had the last time she had done this, but it was still uncomfortable. He tried to open his eyes, and was able to, even though it took him a few seconds to do so. He was staring at the bedside table: it was blurry, but he could see. He needed to ask Poppy where his glasses were. He then felt himself rise off of the bed and turn over.

"Good evening, Harry. How is your vision?"

"It's quite blurry without my glasses, but I can see." Poppy opened his eyes wide and examined them with a bright light, then told him to look to the left, right, then straight ahead.

"Your eyes look normal, but you still have quite a bit of swelling on your face, especially around your eyes, so it might be a few days before your vision is back to normal. When I finish applying the salve, I'll give you your glasses. You know, I think your glasses might have saved your eyes. They cushioned your eyes when your head hit the floor. You had a nasty gash above your right eyebrow where your glasses cut into your skin, but that is much more preferable to losing your eyesight."

Harry agreed. "How is my back?"

"Healing nicely, as is the rest of you. You have a lengthy recovery ahead of you, but the worst seems to be behind you. The extra ginger seems to have helped with the nausea. Oh dear, who could be stopping by at this late hour? I do hope no one is injured or ill."

Harry watched Poppy leave, then as she returned a few minutes later.

"Harry, Draco Malfoy would like to speak to you. I can tell him you are not up to visitors."

Harry glanced at himself and sighed. He looked awful and didn't want to face anyone, but it wasn't as if he could avoid people forever. "No, that's okay, I'll talk to him. Can you help me sit up?" She did, then she handed him his glasses. He put them on and was disappointed that he couldn't see clearly, but he had been warned that it would be a few days. He removed them and set them on the bedside table.

A few minutes later, Poppy entered with Draco, then left them alone.

"How do you feel?" asked Draco as he sat in the chair by Harry's bed.

"Not too good, but I'm better than I was."

"My father was behind this. I wish I knew why he was doing this."

"You and me both. Arthur is still going through all of the things that belonged to Cepheus Malfoy, so maybe there will be some answers there as to who is working with him. You didn't come to see me, did you?" Harry grinned. He knew where Draco had been.

"No, I came to see Magnolia."

"How did that go?"

"It went well. She seems to have recovered."

"Yes, she—" but Harry stopped when pain engulfed him. He shut his eyes and tried to slow his breathing. "Draco, get Madam Pomfrey." It hurt so badly. He was going to be sick. He felt someone touch his face.

"Harry, concentrate on my voice. You are going to be fine," said Poppy, her voice calm and low.

Harry was sick, and he couldn't stop, but eventually, he did.

"Mr. Malfoy, I need your help. Lift Harry and hold him while I change the bed clothes. I am trying to limit the magic used on him."

Harry felt as Draco picked him up, then as Draco brought him close to his chest. Harry leaned into Draco, who smelled wonderful, and let himself fall asleep.

* * *

Students were hurrying back to their common rooms before curfew in ten minutes. In less than a month, Severus would once again be walking the corridors and taking points for students who had violated curfew. He looked down at his daughter and thanked Merlin he was going to be able to spend more time with her since he would be teaching at Hogwarts.

"You certainly are quiet, Magnolia." Big blue eyes looked up at him.

"I was just thinking about something Draco told me."

"And what would that be?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"I would not have asked if I did not wish to know."

"He said that when he was my age, you helped him, and that you were always there for him, even when his parents weren't. He told me I was very fortunate to have you as my father."

Not many good things had been said about Severus in his lifetime, so when he heard something such as what his daughter had shared with him, it made Severus uncomfortable, but it also filled him with such warmth. "Draco will be a wonderful brother to you; he has a good heart, but like me, he rarely shows it." His daughter smiled at him, then walked ahead and entered the hospital wing. Severus followed. He hoped Harry was doing better.

He opened the door to the back room and frowned. Draco was holding Harry, who obviously had been sick, close to his chest, and Harry looked like he belonged there.

"I'm glad you are here, Severus. I am afraid he is going to need another bath. I have already used too much magic on him today," said Poppy as she made up a fresh bed for Harry.

Severus entered the bathroom and turned on the tap, then returned and took Harry from Draco. "How many vials, Poppy?"

"Two."

Harry burrowed his head into Severus's robe, and Severus found himself running his fingers through Harry's hair. He then looked at Draco, then glanced toward Magnolia. "Draco, please sit with Magnolia until I am finished with Harry." Severus then carried Harry into the bathroom and set him carefully into the bath. When green eyes opened and looked at him, Severus found himself mesmerized. "I am glad to see the swelling has gone down."

"Am I going to get better?" Harry asked as Severus cleaned his face with a flannel.

"Of course you are," Severus said as he continued to clean the sick off of Harry's face and chest. It was everywhere. Then he watched as Harry began to cry.

"I can't take this, Severus. I hurt so bad, and I get sick all the time and I am so weak, and look at me. I can't stop crying."

Severus wiped away the tears with his thumb. "After what you've been through, you have every right to be upset and to cry. They hurt you really badly, Harry. I will not lie to you: they nearly killed you. I can't tell you that it is going to get better tomorrow or the next day, but you will get better."

"Are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

"I wouldn't do that, Harry." Severus dropped the flannel in the bath and was about to let out the water when Harry's hand grasped his. Severus watched as new tears trailed down Harry's cheeks as his green eyes looked into Severus's.

"Yes you would."


	41. Chapter 41

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XLI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,930  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Forty-One**

With one last look behind him, Severus closed the door to the back room.

"Daddy Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Draco is going to the Quidditch match Sunday. He asked if I was going. You're not going to let me go, are you?" Magnolia asked as she climbed into bed and placed her wand underneath the pillow.

"You know the answer to that; we already talked about this, Magnolia. It is going to be too cold, and you need to rest so that you continue to get better."

"I would wear my wool cloak."

"No, and if you persist in this failed attempt to get me to change my mind, I'll owl Teddy's grandmother and tell them not to come tomorrow."

"Please let him come. I want to meet him; I won't say another word about the match on Sunday, I promise."

"I'll remember that. They will be here at eleven, so I'll be here to get you early. You can eat breakfast and get dressed in my rooms. Would you like that?" Magnolia nodded, still looking rather unhappy, and Severus knew that the Quidditch match wasn't the only reason. Harry's getting sick earlier had upset her quite a bit. That was one of the reasons he and Poppy had decided to move her into the main ward.

"Is Professor Potter going to be okay?"

Severus sat on the edge of his daughter's bed. "He is very ill and it is going to take a long while for him to recover, but he will get better."

"You will help him get better."

"Yes, that I will. Now it is time for you to go to bed, my dear. You have had a busy day and we don't want you to relapse." Severus leaned down and kissed Magnolia on her forehead. "Goodnight, Magnolia, I'll see you when you wake in the morning. If you need Poppy, you know what to do, yes?" Magnolia nodded. "See you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Daddy Severus."

Severus checked with Poppy, then left for his rooms. He had planned on making some more of the potion for Harry, but he was exhausted, and knew he needed sleep.

As he turned into another corridor, he was disheartened to see Arthur walking towards him. Whatever reason the Minister for Magic had for being at Hogwarts at this late hour couldn't be good.

"We need to talk, Severus."

"In my rooms?"

"Is Poppy's office alright? I don't have much time. You'll understand when I tell you what I found."

Once they were in Poppy's office, Severus stood against the door and took a deep breath as he waited for Poppy to leave — she said she was going to check in on Harry, then try to get a few hours sleep. Severus looked at Arthur and tried to guess what he was about to say. Was this about Magnolia? Or Harry? Or him? It could be about all three. When Poppy left, Severus watched as Arthur retrieved a parchment from his cloak pocket.

"A few days ago, a letter was found amongst Cepheus's things. It was written in a code that no one could decipher, but today, one of the Unspeakables figured it out. You should read what it says."

Severus took the parchment and opened it, knowing that whatever it said must be important, and not good:

_Cepheus,_

As you well know by now, Harry Potter is at Hogwarts, so tonight is the night. Unfortunately, this night will probably be our dear Snape's final one on earth. It will be a bittersweet moment for me when he dies, but he is a spy for the enemy, and the punishment for that is death.

Regrettably, Snape is not naïve. We have intelligence that tells us Snape has created an antidote for Nagini's venom. It is possible the antidote will not work, but we have to be realistic: he more than likely will survive. But he will be badly wounded.

It will be up to you to determine if Snape is alive or dead. This is not difficult, Cepheus. You will be hidden; we have already discussed where and how you will know when to assume the position. You merely need to perform the charm we discussed earlier. If he is dead, then you do nothing. You leave.

If he is alive, then you force his mouth open and pour in the yellow potion that I am sending with this letter (The potion has been made with Severus's blood, so if anyone else gets their hands on this potion, it will do nothing and will reveal nothing to them other than someone's botched potion). You would do well not to allow this potion to fall into the wrong hands unless you wish to see your own life end prematurely. Once you have given him the potion, you leave. It is all very simple.

Because I know that your curiosity could mess up this plan, I will tell you why Snape will be given the potion. The Dark Lord has been grooming someone to take his place should he be killed. The young wizard will not be ready to assume his duties for several years, but when he does, it would be an advantage for him to have a faithful follower such as Severus Snape.

Do not contact me. I will be the one doing the contacting.

Lucius

Severus looked at Arthur and handed the parchment back. At least now the why of what had been done to him made more sense. "So now we need to find whomever this person is." Arthur's face paled more each second. This was not good, and Severus, who was tired and wanted to go to bed, had an idea that he might not get to sleep anytime soon. "What else did you find out?"

"Today, as I was going through Cepheus's things, I found a picture that had been hidden by rather complex charms. It was a picture of someone I know."

"Who?"

"My son-in-law."

Ginevra's husband. Severus didn't know what to say. This was bad for so many reasons. He had never particularly cared for the Wealeys, but now he rather liked them and didn't look forward to Arthur's family being put on display if Arthur's son-in-law ended up being involved with all of this. Then there was the fact that this person was trying to get his hands on Severus, or at least that is what seemed likely — he had not been returned to an adult for no reason. "Perhaps Cepheus had pictures of the people he wanted to kidnap." But Severus knew that wasn't why the picture had been among Cepheus's things.

"I am afraid that is not the reason. In one of the pictures, Carl, my son-in-law, was standing with Cepheus and Magnolia."

This was getting worse. "Do you think he was willingly working with Cepheus and Lucius? They could have put him under the Imperius."

"It really doesn't matter, Severus. If he was working with them, it doesn't matter why or how, and I think you know that."

Yes, Severus knew that all too well. "Is he the type of person who you would think might be involved with unsavory dealings?"

"Not at all. He is a different sort of bloke, yes, but he loves Ginny, and he is good to her. Molly never has cared for Carl, and I must admit he is not at all whom I wanted for my daughter, but I have tried to be accepting of him. It is difficult for me to believe that he would be involved in this. Percy, Bill, and Charlie have gone to Liverpool to get Ginny."

"So you are not going to keep this quiet then?"

"For the next few days, yes, but I refuse to endanger my daughter's life just so we can build a case against her husband."

Severus understood, especially now since he had a daughter. "Are you going to tell Harry?"

"No, not until I find out what exactly is going on. I just hope that Carl did not marry my daughter in order to get nearer to Harry. That is my fear, Severus."

Rather than voice his opinion, which he knew Arthur already knew, Severus remained quiet, but he knew this was not a mere coincidence. Somehow, Ginny's husband had been involved in what happened to Harry. Severus only hoped that the girl had not been foolish enough to get herself involved in this. He doubted that would be the case, but there were ways to get people to do things. Severus knew that Arthur had to have already thought of this.

"I keep telling myself there could be a logical explanation and that my son-in-law is not involved in this, but I know that is unlikely, Severus."

"Does Molly know?"

"No, I am on my way home to tell her now."

* * *

Harry tried to calm his breathing after his last bout of sickness. He had his eyes closed but sleep wouldn't come. Instead, he listened to the breathing Draco Malfoy, who was currently running his hands through Harry's hair — he had been doing so for the past quarter-hour. It felt nice and gave Harry something other than pain to concentrate on.

"Whomever had you must have given you some lethal potions. I remember when my uncle was poisoned when I was younger. He was in the same kind of pain you are in, and he was sick all the time."

"Did he get better?" Harry asked. There was no response. "Draco?" Harry opened his eyes and glared at the blob that was Draco. "You're not supposed to tell me stories where people died from a potion when someone gave me one."

"Sorry, didn't think about that. Are you still in pain?"

"Yeah."

"Can't Poppy give you anything else to stop it from hurting?"

"She has, but it doesn't work for long. May I ask you a question?"

"Yes."

"Why are you still here?" Harry hoped he didn't sound rude, but he was tired and wanted to be alone.

"I don't know. I guess I should leave and let you get some sleep."

"You can come back tomorrow, if you want." Harry tried to smile, but failed.

"I have plans tomorrow, but I am going to do the ceremonial release of the snitch at the match Sunday, so I'll come see you after that. Do you need me to do anything before I leave?"

"Can you get me another blanket? I'm cold." A few seconds later he felt as Draco covered him with another blanket. "Put out the fire before you leave." Harry yawned and turned his head. He heard the door shut and, almost immediately, fell asleep.

* * *

Severus read through the journal entries again. When he had been younger, he had been emotionless, but this other young Severus had been quite emotional, much like Harry, and he had been passionate about life. As much as Severus was now happy to be here, he did feel regret that the young and happy Severus had been taken away from everyone, especially Harry.

After he finished reading the last entry for October 2009, Severus placed the journal on the bedside table and put out the fire. It had been a long day, and tomorrow promised to be another one. He hoped that Teddy would be able to cheer Harry up, especially since Harry's world was about to come crashing down on him when he found out that Ginevra's husband might be behind what happened to him.


	42. Chapter 42

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XLII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,930  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Forty-Two**

Most people drank tea or coffee to prepare themselves for the day ahead, but Severus's morning ritual usually had him in his workroom for at least an hour, before sunrise. Most days he conducted research on new potions, other days he merely set up his workroom for potions he needed to make later in the day.

Although it was later than usual, this morning was no different. Severus adjusted the fire beneath the cauldron and added more crystallized ginger, then stirred the potion for five minutes before once again lowering the heat so the potion could simmer.

As the potion frothed, Severus read the latest update on Harry's injuries. As he had expected, most everything was healing nicely. The exceptions were Harry's left foot, which had been broken in several places, and his constant sickness, which was a result of the potion that had damaged Harry's heart.

There was no way to reverse what was happening with Harry's heart, but there had to be a way to stop the constant sickness. Harry was becoming dehydrated, and he was losing weight at an alarming rate. Severus knew that he was going to have to tell Harry what was wrong with him, but he hoped it could wait until after Teddy left.

Once the potion was ready, Severus filled the twelve vials and turned off the fire. He set them beside the parchment, then went to get ready for the day.

He looked forward to his daughter and Teddy meeting, and he knew how much Harry looked forward to seeing Teddy. The day promised to be interesting. Severus only hoped that the news Arthur had told him the previous night would not surface.

There was the possibility that Ginevra's husband had known Cepheus in some other capacity, and it had nothing to do with Lucius Malfoy or a new Dark Lord.

A possibility, yes, a probability, more than likely, not.

The only certainty was that Harry needed to be told, and Severus had no plans to tell him before Teddy left.

When he entered the hospital wing, Severus was unsurprised to see his daughter sitting at the end of Harry's bed, talking to a much healthier looking Harry. She was talking about Hagrid and Grawp. Severus had to withhold his sigh. It was beyond him what the fascination was regarding Grawp or Hagrid. Harry had been the same way, and from all indications, still was.

Harry saw him immediately, but Magnolia, her back to her father, had not, and Severus put his finger to his lips; he didn't want to interrupt her most intriguing story. Instead, he leaned against the door and enjoyed hearing the excitement Magnolia was showing.

All of her scans were back to normal, and her magic levels were at about eighty-percent. By the time they left for Wales, she should be fully-recovered. Severus looked forward to spending the holidays with his mother and daughter.

Looking at Harry, who was now wearing his glasses, Severus was encouraged by his coloring: it was no longer pasty-looking, and the stab wounds on his arms were almost completely healed. His swelling underneath his eyes had also gone down, revealing more of those bright green eyes. One of his eyes still looked rather red from a burst blood vessel, but it looked much better than it had the previous day.

What bothered Severus was the lost weight. Harry was small to begin with, and the lost weight served to make him look even more gaunt and vulnerable than usual.

"Hello, Severus. I need to speak to you in my office," Poppy said as she entered the room and neared Harry. "How are you feeling this morning?" she asked as she took his temperature.

"Much better. My foot is hurting quite a bit, but I haven't felt sick this morning, and my vision seems to be back to normal."

"After I visit with Severus, I am going to put a cast on your foot since you are going to have visitors today; I don't want anyone injuring it further."

Severus didn't miss the glances that both Poppy and Harry gave him. He thought about responding, but decided not to. "Magnolia and I need to leave soon, Poppy." He watched as she felt Harry's forehead and frowned. She then turned toward him.

"Do you have a vial of the new potion with you? I want to go ahead and give it to him. His temperature has risen a few degrees."

Reaching into his robe pocket, Severus withdrew a vial, opened it, and handed it to Harry, who drank the potion.

"It tastes better."

"You did ask me to try to improve the taste," Severus replied as he felt Harry's forehead. "Try to sleep; in a few hours you are going to wish you could."

"When you and Magnolia leave, I will."

Severus nodded, told Magnolia he would be back to get her soon, then followed Poppy into her office and sat in the chair the matron pointed to. "Why has his temperature spiked again?"

"It's nothing bad; his body is merely fighting off infection; I imagine his temperature will continue to fluctuate for the foreseeable future."

"What did you need to talk to me about?"

"Harry asked me this morning if he were going to die. He told me that Draco mentioned that an uncle of his had died from a potion, and that his symptoms were just like Harry's."

Leave it to Draco to tell Harry how sick he was. "Yes, I am familiar with what happened to Draco's uncle, and yes, he died from a similar potion to what was given to Harry, but that was over twenty-five years ago, when there was no cure or method to slow the deterioration process."

"Yes, that is what I told him. He thinks we are hiding something from him, Severus. If you do not tell him the truth, I will."

There was defiance in Poppy's voice. Severus stood and walked out of the office and into the back room, and asked Magnolia to go into the other room. Once he and Harry were alone, he closed the door and sat in the chair by Harry's bed. Harry handed him the empty vial, then removed the pillows from behind his back so he could lie down. Severus helped him get situated and then removed Harry's glasses and told him to close his eyes.

"Your heart was weakened quite a bit, Harry. We can treat the condition and keep it as it is now, but your heart will never heal completely."

"So you lied to me," Harry whispered as he turned so that his back was facing Severus.

"Harry."

"What? I shouldn't be upset that you kept this from me?" Now Harry's voice was normal, but seemed to be getting louder with each word.

"Your heart is weak, but you are not going to die."

"But Draco said—"

"I know what Draco told you. That was at least twenty-five years ago when his uncle died. We have made advances since then, believe it or not."

"Will I be able to have a normal life?"

"I don't see why not. I would suggest you not go hunting Dark Lords, but you should be able to do most other things."

"Is there any way I could die from this?"

"Yes, just as there is a way that you could die right now talking to me, or just as I could die walking back to my rooms. We are all going to die at some point, Harry."

"No more secrets, Severus."

"No more secrets, Harry." Severus stood. "Poppy is about to come put a cast on your foot. After she is finished, try to get some sleep, okay?" Harry turned so he could see Severus, and nodded. Then he closed his eyes.

* * *

Someone was touching his hair. Harry opened his eyes and saw Andromeda. She handed him his glasses. Once he could see, he tried to sit up. Andromeda helped him.

"You look much better than what I thought you would. How do you feel?"

"Tired and a bit sore, but I feel better than I did yesterday."

"Are you sure you're up to seeing Teddy?"

There weren't many things Harry was up to at the moment, but seeing his godson, he could do. "Yeah, but only if it's not going to upset him. I know I don't look that good."

"I've prepared him. He was so scared you were going to die. So was I. I don't know what we would do if we lost you."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm Harry Potter," Harry replied, as he grinned. "So where is Teddy?"

"Magnolia is taking him on a tour of the castle; they'll be back in an hour. She seems like a lovely girl. I must confess that there was more than a little trepidation on my part when I found out she was Severus Snape's daughter."

"Andromeda, you know that Severus is a good person and that he was working for us and not against us."

"Yes, but I also know that at some point in his life, he made a conscious decision to follow Voldemort. You know that as much as I loved my sister, Narcissa, I never felt completely comfortable around her because she also followed Voldemort. I know she changed her views, but you can't forget about past deeds."

"No, but you can forgive them and try to move on. Voldemort killed my parents, Andromeda. I don't understand how anyone could have ever followed that evil man, but I do know that Severus Snape has changed. I trust him with my life."

"Perhaps he has changed. Poppy says that he seems different now."

"He is; you'll see for yourself when he gets here."

"Is Magnolia doing better?"

"Yeah. Severus and I have been working on her potion, and it seems to be working. I think once Teddy can talk to her and help her to control her abilities, she will be even better."

"If Magnolia is anything like Teddy and Dora, Severus is going to have his hands full."

"He'll be up to the task of dealing with her, Andromeda. He has never been one to let children do as they please." Harry grinned. "So how are you?"

"I'm okay. I'm not looking forward to Teddy coming to Hogwarts in September, however. He has been my life for the past eleven years, and it is going to be quite the change when he leaves."

"You could move closer to Hogwarts."

"I've thought about that."

"So where are you and—" but Harry's question died on his tongue as Severus entered. Harry watched as Andromeda's eyes traveled to the door where Severus had just entered. Harry's eyes went back and forth between Andromeda and Severus.

"Hello, Andromeda," Severus said in a cordial voice.

"Severus."

"Magnolia and Teddy will be here in a few minutes. Harry, are you feeling better?" Severus asked as he approached the other side of the bed and felt Harry's forehead.

"Yeah, still tired, but I'll be okay." Harry couldn't help but notice that Andromeda was staring at Severus's hand on his forehead. Harry had to stifle a laugh. He then turned his head and looked back at Severus. "Could you get a flannel and wet it so I could put it on my forehead?" The look on Andromeda's face, as Severus did as Harry asked, was priceless, and when Severus sat down on the edge of Harry's bed and placed the flannel on his forehead, Harry thought Teddy's grandmother might faint. He gave Severus a small smile. "Thank you."


	43. Chapter 43

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XLIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,830  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Forty-Three**

As much as Severus wished to grin and join in on Harry's little games, he couldn't. Perhaps Harry thought he was being _cute_ making a show of how he and a former Death Eater no longer loathed each other. In actuality, however, Harry was giving Andromeda another reason to keep her grandson away from his godfather. Severus frowned and left the flannel on Harry's forehead, then stood and walked to the window and watched a group of students as they walked toward Hogsmeade. He heard Andromeda ask Harry a question, but he didn't hear what the question was.

Then the door opened, and all thoughts about how foolish Harry had been, left Severus's thoughts when he heard his daughter talking to someone: presumably Teddy Lupin. Severus turned around and smiled when his daughter entered. It was good to see her looking so healthy. Teddy Lupin followed Magnolia into the room, and Severus couldn't believe how much the boy looked like his father. The only part of him that did not scream Remus Lupin, was his hair, which was currently bright yellow. Severus had the idea that he had not arrived with said hair color.

Lupin's son walked over to Harry's bed and said something which Severus couldn't hear, but Harry grinned and then looked toward Andromeda. It seemed to be a private moment and Severus wasn't certain he and Magnolia should stay.

"Daddy Severus, Teddy showed me how to change my hair. Can I try it?" Magnolia asked as she joined Severus by the window.

"No."

"But it won—"

"I said no, Magnolia. You are still recovering." Severus didn't think he had ever seen a lip stick out so far before. He didn't like it when his daughter was upset with him, but over the years of teaching ungrateful miscreants, Severus had learned that if you let children get away with one thing, then they'll think they have a free pass to get away with everything.

"Professor Snape," Teddy said from beside Harry's bed, "if you don't let Magnolia change her appearance, how will you know if I helped her or not?"

Severus looked down at the boy and tried to look scary. It seemed that Teddy Lupin had his mother's temperament. Lupin wouldn't have challenged Severus's authority. "There is intent behind magic, Mr. Lupin. You merely need to inform her how to curb her intent." Teddy didn't look convinced. He glanced toward Harry, and Severus did as well and could see that Harry was trying not to laugh. Severus turned to his daughter and Teddy. "Could the two of you please go into the other room for a few minutes? I need to talk to your grandmother and godfather, Teddy."

Once the two had gone into the other room, Severus approached the bed and looked at Harry. "She is not strong enough yet to change her appearance."

"Then tell me, Severus," said Andromeda, "why did you request I bring Teddy here if he wasn't going to be able to help Magnolia, and don't give me that tripe about intent. I've never heard such codswallop in my life. I think Magnolia is plenty strong. Matamorphmagi use very little magic to change their appearance. It is why they usually don't need a wand to channel the magic."

How dare anyone question his concern for his daughter. Perhaps she had a point, but Severus didn't want to delay his daughter's recovery. "I thought she might have recovered completely by now, Andromeda," Severus said as he sneered at Andromeda. No matter that she might have a valid point, she had undermined his authority, and Severus didn't take kindly to that. Trying to calm himself, he then looked at Harry. "What do you think?" Severus was not at all happy with the current situation.

"She is your daughter, Severus. Do what you think is best. But I do think she is strong enough. Just let her maybe try to change her hair and maybe her nose?"

"Andromeda, does Teddy have a limit as to how much he can change in a day?" Severus asked, his gaze still on Harry.

"Of course, he does. I am not certain if there is such a thing as a true limit as far as Metamorphmagi are concerned, but as long as he lives with me, there is a limit, and there are consequences if he goes over that limit. If you and your daughter want to go have a cup of tea with me, I'll share my methods of tracking Teddy's changes, and I'll share some stories with Magnolia about some of the things she shouldn't do."

* * *

For a few seconds after Severus and Andromeda left, there was silence. Harry closed his eyes, wishing he could sleep, but there was no way he was going to pass up this opportunity to visit with Teddy, so he opened his eyes and smiled as Teddy entered the room and sat down in the chair his grandmother had been sitting in.

Every time Harry saw him, the boy looked more and more like Remus. There was nothing of Tonks's that Harry could tell, besides the Metamorphmagi traits and the personality — Harry knew that Remus, no matter how much he might have wanted to, would have never challenged Severus's comments. Yes, Teddy was definitely a mix of both of his parents, but there was more of Remus. Harry had an idea that in about ten years, it was going to be difficult to look at Teddy because he would then resemble the Remus that Harry had known.

"My grandmother told me you were hurt bad. Are you going to be okay, Harry?"

He even talked like his father: soft-spoken and reserved.

"Yes, Teddy, I'm going to be fine. You can't get rid of me that easily." Harry tried to smile, but he couldn't. Teddy looked so somber. Harry had never seen a picture of Remus's parents, but he had an idea that if he had, they would look as solemn as their son and grandson appeared.

"Good, because you're my only connection to my dad."

Sixteen years earlier, similar sentiments had been shared between a thirteen-year-old and his Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Harry had never tired of his talks with Remus.

"You look just like your father, Teddy, although I must say that your personality seems to be your mother's."

"That's what grandmother says, and I don't think she means it in a good way," Teddy said, as a slight grin appeared. "But she also tells me that I look exactly like my father did, and that I seem to have an old soul like he had. Sometimes I think my grandmother doesn't want me to see you because you remind her of what happened to my mum, but this morning she told me that I was fortunate to have you as my godfather. She said you would always be there for me."

Harry nodded. He felt protective of Teddy in a way that he hadn't before. As an eighteen-year-old, being a godfather to an orphan had petrified Harry, but now, eleven years later, he felt more confident in his abilities. "And I will, Teddy. Anytime you need to talk, I am here."

"When I come to Hogwarts in September, do you think it would be okay if I came and talked to you?"

"Of course it would be okay... Teddy," Harry said as he closed his eyes and tried to keep his voice steady. Horrible shooting pains were making it difficult to speak. "Would you do me a favor and go get Madam Pomfrey for me? She is in her office." Harry tried to regulate his breathing and allow the pain to pass as he heard Teddy close the door and call for Madam Pomfrey to come help his godfather.

"Harry, where's the pain?" asked Poppy.

"Everywhere," Harry said through clinched teeth. "Teddy's not in here, is he?"

"No, he is in my office. Do you feel like you are going to be sick?"

"No."

"Where is the pain the worst, Harry?"

"My ribs."

"I do not want to cut your visit with your godson short, but you need to rest. I am going to give you another vial of potion, and then I want you to sleep."

Harry opened his eyes. "Could you ask Teddy to come back in here? He is afraid something bad is going to happen to me. I need to tell him that I am okay."

* * *

After Andromeda and Teddy left, and after he had taken Magnolia down to his rooms and told her to start on her lessons that she had missed over the past several weeks, Severus returned to the hospital wing, where Harry was sleeping.

"He is going to be sleeping for the next several hours; his visit with Andromeda and his godson tired him out," Poppy said as she checked on Harry. "I do hope that Teddy can return sometime soon; despite the fact that Harry overexerted himself, his godson's presence was exactly what Harry needed."

Yes, Severus had thought the same thing, and it had given him an idea. "Do you think that Harry is strong enough to go to London for the day?"

"He is in no condition to be going anywhere, Severus. He can't even walk at the moment."

"What if I took him to see Hermione and Ron? He wouldn't be able to do anything other than visit, but I think that getting him out might help him."

"Possibly, but I'd much rather him stay here until Friday, then go to Wales with you, your mother, and Magnolia."

Where had that come from? Why would anyone think that Harry would want to spend the holidays with Severus and his family? "He has already told Minerva he is staying here."

"Yes, I am aware of that, Severus. Unfortunately, I am not going to be here. If I have to, I will change my plans and stay with Harry, but my mother is not getting any younger, and she wants me to spend the holidays with her. You seem to be the only other person Harry feels comfortable with. I originally thought that he might could go to Ron and Hermione's, but they are going to spend Christmas with Hermione's family. I also thought about the Weasleys, but Harry feels uncomfortable around them. He needs to be under someone's constant care, Severus."

Yes, that much Severus knew. Perhaps he should ask his mother and daughter, but Severus knew what they would say, and there was no way he was going to allow Harry to think he was a burden. Poppy hadn't meant anything with her words about staying if she had to, but if Harry had heard those words… "You need to go spend the holidays with your mother, Poppy. Harry will spend the holidays with us."


	44. Chapter 44

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XLIV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,630  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Forty-Four**

Minerva and Eileen were on either side of Harry, ready to catch him if he fell, and Poppy stood about three meters in front of him, marking his destination. Harry looked at Poppy, took a deep breath and grasped the crutches, then pulled himself up into a standing position, which was much more difficult than he thought it should be. He glanced at Poppy again, then moved the crutches forward and took a small step. Then another. After the third, he was exhausted. He looked behind him and was disheartened to see that he had moved less than a meter, and Poppy was at least ten steps in front of him. To say Harry was frustrated would be minimizing how he felt. He tried to take another step, but nearly fell. If not for Minerva, he would have.

"That's enough for now, Harry," said Poppy as she pointed her wand at him and sent him back to the bed.

Harry frowned when Minerva removed his slipper and helped him lie down. The help was appreciated, but these were things that he should be able to do for himself.

"It's been almost a week. I know what you said about it taking a while for me to regain my strength, but I didn't even take three steps and I am exhausted. Is this going to be how it is forever?" Harry asked Poppy, who was about to remove the cast from his foot.

"Eileen, could you hand me my wand?" Poppy asked as she lifted Harry's left leg and examined the area above the cast. "No, you are not going to be like this forever, Harry. It hasn't even been a week; your injuries were rather severe and numerous. Give them time to heal."

"Will I be able to walk more than a few meters by the time we leave for Wales?" Harry asked, none too happy that his holiday plans had been made for him while he slept.

With a wave of her wand, Poppy removed Harry's cast and took scans of his foot. "Each day you need to work on building up your stamina. If you do that, then by Friday you should have no problems walking with crutches. I would suggest you not go walking through Diagon Alley or around Wales, but your normal every day walking should not be a problem."

Harry turned and looked at Eileen. "Are you certain that you don't mind me spending the holidays with you, Severus, and Magnolia?"

"You know the answer to that, Harry," said Eileen as she retrieved her cloak. "You should have heard Magnolia when she found out you were going to Wales with us. If I didn't know better, I'd say she has plans for you."

Harry thought he heard Minerva say something under her breath that sounded very much like: _and Severus_. He thought about asking her what she had said, but then Minerva grabbed her cloak and followed Eileen to the door. After telling him to rest, they left.

All Harry did was rest, and no matter how much sleep he got, he was still tired. It was disconcerting. He watched Poppy as she finished the scan of his foot, then as she bustled around the room, retrieving empty vials. Then she left after telling him she would be in her office. He stared at his foot and tried to move his toes, but couldn't. His right foot was somewhat bruised, but his left one was completely covered in purple and brown bruises, and it was swollen. Poppy had told him it would be a long time before he could walk without the help of crutches or a walking stick. The image of him hobbling around with a walking stick, teaching his students, wasn't one Harry wanted to see come true.

Harry closed his eyes and thought about the day he'd had thus far. His morning hadn't begun very well: finding out that his heart was weak, and would always be so, hadn't done much for his mood, and knowing that Severus and Poppy had kept that information from him upset him. This was his life, and he deserved to know if he was sick.

Fortunately, his day had improved. Seeing Teddy had been exactly what Harry needed, and he was happy to know that Teddy would be at Hogwarts in September.

When he heard footsteps, Harry opened his eyes and saw Severus and Poppy talking by the door. Severus looked distressed. Poppy then left and Severus walked over to Harry's bed, not even trying to hide how he was feeling.

"I have some bad news that I don't know how to tell you."

More bad news? Harry had a weak heart, people were making decisions for him, his boyfriend had been badly injured, his former lover's son had died, a child he had cared for had been taken from him… what other news could possibly be worse? "Tell me."

"Ginevra Weasley is in St. Mungo's."

"What's wrong with her?" Harry asked, thinking she had probably fallen or something such as that.

"She is on the same floor as Alice and Frank Longbottom," replied Severus, looking nervous.

Not just a fall then. Harry tried to sit up, and with Severus's help, he did. "Tell me what is wrong with her, Severus. The truth," Harry said, his voice shaking. He knew it was bad.

"Yesterday, Arthur told me that he found a picture of his son-in-law among Cepheus Malfoy's things. Bill, Charlie, and Percy went to go investigate and to get their sister away from her husband. When they arrived, he was gone, but Ginevra was found unconscious on the floor. They took her to St. Mungo's. She hasn't regained consciousness yet."

Harry went over everything he had been told. "Carl was working with Cepheus, wasn't he?"

"It would appear so. Arthur thinks it was him who kidnapped you."

"What did he do to her?"

"She has been put through the Cruciatus several times for lengthy periods."

There was no need to enquire what the results of said curses would do. "Has Arthur questioned Lucius about this?"

"Not yet, but he is going to administer Veritaserum to Lucius, then question him, in an hour."

"Do they think Ginny is going to be okay?"

"There is no way to tell until she wakes."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"Because I wasn't certain that Ginevra's husband was involved."

"You still should have told me. I am twenty-nine years old, Severus, not eleven. Don't you think I deserve to know these things, and don't you think I deserve to make my own decisions? How would you feel if someone told you where you were going to spend Christmas? I might not be with Ginny anymore, but I still love her. Wouldn't you want to know if someone you loved might be in danger? Leave me alone, I'm tired."

"Harry."

If he said anything, it was going to be out of anger, so Harry said nothing. He stared at Severus, then looked away.

"Do you want to lie down?" asked a concerned Severus.

"I want you to leave."

* * *

Severus read over the results of Lucius's questioning under Veritaserum, which confirmed what he had thought:

_Lucius had been behind both his de-aging and re-aging._

Lucius had been behind Harry's kidnapping and torture.

Cepheus Malfoy had been who Lucius had used to carry out his plans.

Lucius had known that Severus had gotten his wife pregnant.

Cepheus had taken Narcissa to Paris where her baby was born. He had then taken the baby and obliviated Narcissa.

Luicus had told Draco that someone might try to kill the young Severus so that Severus could be protected.

Lucius had Harry investigated to see if he would be a proper guardian for the young Severus.

Carl Roberts had been slated to become the next Dark Lord, and it had only been within the past few months that he had been prepared to assume the duties of being the Dark Lord.

Roberts's first act had been to kidnap and torture Harry. It had been on Lucius's orders.

Lucius had stopped Roberts's men from raping and killing Harry because of Severus's pleading with Lucius.

Roberts had used Ginny to send a note through the hospital wing Floo to alert Poppy that Harry was in the Forbidden Forest. 

The list went on and on, and Severus didn't know how he should feel. He was so very angry with Lucius, but there was a part of him that did still care for Lucius, and that part of him was devastated. Lucius had done unforgivable things, yet he hadn't completely lost his compassion. He had been worried for the younger Severus, and he had stopped Harry from being raped and killed. Those few decisions were not going to spare Lucius's life, but they would be what Severus held on to.

Severus looked up at Draco, who looked like he was about to be sick. Out of everyone whom Lucius had hurt, he had hurt his son worst of all. Now Draco was about to become an orphan — a twenty-nine-year old orphan, but an orphan, nonetheless. "You know there is no alternative, Draco. They delayed questioning him, but after finding out about Ginevra's husband's involvement, Arthur had to question Lucius. It is too risky to keep him alive — he has obviously been utilizing dark magic while in Azkaban, and that cannot be allowed to continue."

"Yes, I understand, Severus. Understanding, however, does not make it any easier to know that soon my father will not be here. When will they administer the kiss and then kill him?" Draco's hands shook as they held a copy of the transcript.

"Midnight."


	45. Chapter 45

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XLV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,900  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Forty-Five**

"You were warned at the beginning of the lesson to not speak unless you wished to spend the final two evenings of term scrubbing cauldrons and desks. I give no second chances, Mr. Martin and Mr. Drier. The two of you will meet me in here this evening at seven," Severus said from his desk as he looked at his pocket watch. Martin and Drier both nodded their heads, then returned to their seats, both looking properly stricken. Severus smirked at their backs, and the evil glint in his eyes dared anyone else to speak. There were only fifteen minutes until today's lessons were over, but there were two days remaining before the students went on holiday. Friday couldn't come quickly enough.

To witness the students, one would think they were already on holiday: they attended lessons and still had to be in their common rooms by curfew, but any teacher who thought that they could actually teach new material to their students during the final week of term was sadly mistaken. Severus should know — he had insisted on teaching until the bell rang on the final day of term for the first ten years that he'd taught. Age and wisdom had shown him the error of his ways, however, and now he knew better than to impart his knowledge on spoiled brats whose minds were already ruminating about how many presents they would receive.

His students (They were still Harry's, but Severus thought of them as his) were currently revising over what they had learned during term. Severus had spent the previous Sunday going over all of the lessons Harry had taught during term, and he had compiled a parchment for each group of students. He knew most of them weren't looking at the parchment, but it kept them quiet, most of the time, which allowed Severus a bit of peace, something he needed at the moment as he tried to figure out what had happened over the past five days between him and Harry.

Harry had been distant since Saturday, and Severus was at a loss as to why. Yes, he had initially kept the news about Carl Roberts from Harry, but at the time, he hadn't been certain there was any connection worth worrying Harry about. It was more probable that Harry was merely preoccupied with worrying about Ginevra's health — the two of them had been quite close at one time, so Harry's being worried about her would be completely understandable. Then there was Harry's health, and the fact that Severus and Poppy hadn't been honest with Harry about his heart. And as if those incidents weren't reason enough for Harry to be distant, his holiday plans had been made for him.

Whatever the reason for Harry's morose mood as of late, Severus had almost given up trying to talk to him. How many times did one need to apologize? After two days of less than frigid conditions when he was in the same room with Harry, Severus had given up and had enlisted the services of one Sean Derrington to help Harry with the few tasks he still needed help with.

Amidst all of the turmoil and confusion surrounding Harry, there was good news for Severus: At least his daughter was talking to him — certainly the fates would try their best to turn her against him as well, but Severus would try his best to prevent that from happening.

As of Sunday, Magnolia was no longer a patient in the hospital wing — until the end of term she would be residing with Severus. She had wanted to return to her dormitory, but her only choices had been the hospital wing or her father's rooms.

During the day, while Severus taught, Magnolia worked on the lessons she had missed, and Severus was impressed with how well his daughter was fairing; Magnolia's being away from lessons hadn't seemed to impede her in the least. When she wasn't busy with her school work, Magnolia spent time with her grandmother in the library. Each evening when Severus returned, she would show her father whichever intriguing book she had discovered. Monday evening she had returned with a book about Witch burnings and goblin uprisings. Tuesday had found her reading about Time-Turners, and when Severus had spoken to his mother during lunch, he found out that Magnolia was now learning about wizard bonds.

As soon as the bell rang and the room was empty, Severus entered Harry's office and put out the fire, then went to his office and retrieved his cloak. He and Minerva were meeting in an hour to discuss next term, but before they met, Severus had another stop to make.

* * *

After five days of gradually building his stamina and strength, a tired, yet upbeat Harry sat down on the bed and carefully pulled his left leg onto the bed, careful not to jostle his foot too much. He then pushed himself back and lifted his right leg onto the bed, then propped himself up with a couple of pillows. Exerting such considerable amounts of energy meant that, for the next few hours, he would need to remain in bed, which wasn't how Harry wanted to spend the evening, but as Poppy constantly reminded him, his body had been through a major trauma, and he should be happy to be able to do as much as he could, which was rather a lot, at least compared to what he had been able to do a few days earlier.

Severus or Sean still had to help him get in and out of the shower (there was a chair for him to sit in once inside), but other than that, Harry was now doing everything on his own, which was good because the following morning he was leaving for London where he was going to spend a couple of nights with Hermione and Ron. He would go to Wales on Saturday.

Severus didn't think Harry was ready to be on his own (Ron must not count as a male who could help), but Harry didn't care. He had worked hard to be able to walk on his crutches for more than a few meters, and no one was going to ruin his chipper mood. Even if he did overdo it while at Ron and Hermione's, it wasn't as if it would be the end of the world or anything as drastic as that. Sometimes Harry thought Severus needed to go roll down a hill for no reason at all.

As if he had known Harry was thinking about him, Severus entered the room. Harry acknowledged him, but didn't say anything — he hadn't forgiven Severus for not telling him about Ginny's husband, and he was still upset that he'd not been asked if he wanted to go to Wales. And it wasn't as if Severus had been too concerned about him over the past few days. Since Sunday evening, the only reason Severus came to see him was to give him his potions, which had now increased to two — one for the pain, and one for his heart.

"I thought you might need help getting into the shower. Derrington had a meeting this afternoon," said Severus from the doorway.

"Yes, he did," Harry replied, haughtily, "so I took a shower before his meeting so he could help me. If you wouldn't mind giving me my potions now, I'm knackered and wish to have a kip." Harry followed Severus's path as he walked to his bed, then he took the offered vials. He drank the contents, then handed back the vials. The pain potion didn't taste bad at all, but the one for his heart was disgusting. "Thank you." Then he moved his pillows so he could lie down. He turned his head and closed his eyes, then heard a rather deep sigh.

"No questions about how your darling students were today? Or how I survived teaching a group of students whose only concern is the fact that in two days they will be going home? You Potters did always have a flair for the dramatic. Perhaps you should remain here at Hogwarts for the holidays, Harry. Merlin knows we wouldn't want to overburden you by having you spend the holidays with us when you so obviously wish to remain here."

Before Harry could turn his head and respond, the door shut. If he could walk more than a few meters, perhaps he'd go after Severus, but it was better that he couldn't. Harry shut his eyes and decided it would be best to forget about what Severus had said, and to try and get some sleep, but that was impossible because a few minutes later he heard the door open again. It was probably Poppy.

"I know you're not asleep. Severus told me he just talked to you," said Draco as he sat down beside the bed.

Harry opened one eye, then the other, but didn't turn to face Draco. Why now? Draco had come to see him Sunday afternoon and they had talked about several things: their animosity toward each other while they were at school, their failed attempts in the love department, and their hopes for the future. It had been quite a revealing talk, and yes, somewhat awkward, but Draco and he had been so intent on not speaking about what had happened the previous evening to Draco's father (Severus had told Harry that Draco wished not to speak about it) that the other subjects seemed tame.

"Did he tell you I was trying to kip?" asked a ruffled Harry.

"He might have mentioned that."

"Get on with it then. Say what you came to say and leave me be, Draco."

"Look at me," demanded Draco, his voice clearly reflecting his angry mood. "I refuse to speak to the back of your head."

Reluctantly, Harry did as asked. "I'm looking at you. Now talk, then leave."

"Poor little Harry Potter. You cannot stand it when you are not in control, can you? You do not want the help, and you do not respect other people's decisions when they are only trying to keep you safe and healthy. Did you know that Severus did not tell you about your heart, or about Ginny's husband because he was concerned that the progress of your health might be impeded? And did you know that Poppy requested that Severus allow you to spend the holidays with him and his family so that he could care for you? And did you know that had it not been for Severus's intervention, you would have been raped and killed? That got your attention, I see. Yes, Severus asked my father to spare your life, and he did. Before he died, my father told me and Severus that he spared your life because he cared for Severus. As twisted and demented as my father was, he had heart enough to spare your life, and what thanks does the person who is responsible for that get from you? Severus has done nothing but help you and you pay him back by ignoring him and treating him as if he were me or someone who might deserve a bit of ignoring. Grow up, Harry."

As had happened not even ten minutes earlier, with Severus, Draco left before Harry could respond, but unlike last time, this time Harry had no choice: he could not ignore what had been said.


	46. Chapter 46

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XLVI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,640  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Forty-Six**

His mother and daughter's laughter and excited chatter as they discussed their plans for the holidays were the perfect tonic for Severus's less than pleasant mood as he entered his sitting room. For longer then he cared to remember, he had walked into his empty and silent rooms after a difficult day, and there had been no one to talk to. The atmosphere now was the complete opposite to how it had been during those dark times, and Severus never wanted that quiet and desolate feeling to return.

Magnolia exited the kitchen with a plate of biscuits and grinned as she sat on the sofa. Severus hung his cloak by the door, then joined his daughter on the sofa and accepted the offered plate of biscuits. With the exception of her paleness, Magnolia seemed to be doing as well as Severus had hoped she would by this point, and he knew that her paleness could be normal; it was difficult to know since her appearance was completely different than it had been previous to her illness. Severus was fairly pale himself, but not quite as much as his daughter.

"Nana Prince says she is going to take me to Diagon Alley to buy Christmas presents," said Magnolia as she took another biscuit. "I know just the thing for you, Daddy Severus."

"You do, do you?" Severus replied as he pointed his wand toward the fire and stoked it. "What would that be?" He then took a bite of the biscuit and awaited an answer.

"Oh no you don't. Nana Prince said you would try to get it out of me, but I'm not telling."

Severus took another biscuit and stood. "No more biscuits. Have you finished packing your trunk?"

"Yes, sir. Nana Prince and I went to my room earlier and I got what I needed."

"You packed your cloak?"

"Yes, sir."

"Your gloves?" His daughter gave him a look that said she wasn't stupid. "I am only doing my fatherly duty — making certain you have packed the proper attire."

"I have. I am twelve, you know. I do know how to pack for cold weather." Magnolia stood and took the plate of biscuits into the kitchen.

Not that Severus was up-to-date on what was now acceptable and what wasn't for a child to say to a parent, but he thought his daughter might possibly be pushing the edge of her limits. He considered broaching the subject, but decided it could wait until later.

Instead he walked to the kitchen and opened the door just enough so he could see around the door to where his mother and Magnolia were sitting, "Hello, Mother. I have a detention to oversee tonight, so I am off to do my packing. Magnolia, you are going to stay with your grandmother in her rooms tonight because I will be late." Severus could tell his daughter was about to complain. "And no, do not ask if you may remain here while I am gone. Don't look at me like that. I knew exactly what you were going to ask. I have been teaching for longer than you have been alive and I know all of the facial expressions."

"Yes, sir," said a glum-sounding Magnolia.

"And Magnolia?"

"Yes?"

"I need you to do me a favor. Professor Potter is thinking about remaining here for the holidays. I need you to convince him that would not be in his best interest."

"You want me to go see him tonight?"

"Yes. Your grandmother will go with you." Severus closed the door and walked to his room. Harry didn't stand a chance against his daughter and mother.

* * *

Another successful walk — Harry had gone five meters further than last time. He was confident that he'd be fine in London as long as he didn't try to do too much.

Once he was sitting on the bed, Poppy scanned his foot, and her expression was much more encouraging this time. As she lifted his right foot to compare the two, Harry was relieved to see that the bruising did not look quite as bad as it had earlier, but compared to his other foot, he knew there was a long way to go before it was normal again.

"The swelling has gone down, Harry, but you have many months to go before your left foot is ready for you to walk on it. Do not put any pressure on it whatsoever while you are away, and I am quite serious. You could set back your progress permanently if you disregard what I am saying."

There were many things Harry wasn't serious about, but he knew how precarious his current situation was, and he didn't fancy using a walking stick or crutches for the remainder of his life. "I probably won't have an opportunity to disregard what you are telling me, Poppy. It'll be a major feat if Hermione even lets me out of the house."

"That would probably be best, but I am not daft enough to think you plan on spending the next three days indoors. The exercise will do you good, but I can't emphasize enough that you need to take it easy. It is not only your foot. Your—"

"Poppy, I understand. I won't overdue it. My foot and my heart are going to be fine." If this was going to be how everyone treated him for the remainder of his life, it was gong to be a stressful next few years, and Harry wasn't looking forward to being coddled. "Did Severus bring you enough potions to get me through Saturday morning?"

"He did. What is this I hear about you not going with him and his family to Wales?"

Talk about being dramatic — Severus was a bloody thespian. "Is that what he told you? That I wasn't going?"

"Yes."

"I never said I didn't want to go."

"No? You certainly did your best to act as if you did not wish to go. What was Severus to think?"

"Not you too," Harry said exasperatedly. "Okay, perhaps I've been acting a bit immature, but to be fair, Severus hasn't been fair to me. Perhaps if others would treat me with a bit more respect, I'd respond in kind." The look on Poppy's face told him she was not impressed with his comment.

"I never thought I would say this to you, Harry, but I think you and Severus are perfect for one another."

"Pardon?" Was Poppy barking mad?

"I've never met two people more suited for one another."

"Er… you're not serious… are you?"

"Oh, yes, I am quite serious."

"Seveus Snape… and me? We'd kill each other."

"No, I don't think you would."

The door opened and saved Harry from continuing this ridiculous conversation. Eileen and Magnolia entered.

"Hi, Professor Potter. How are you feeling?"

"Much better, Magnolia. Are you all packed and ready to go to Wales?"

"I am. Daddy Severus says you aren't going to Wales with us. Why?"

Just as Harry had thought. Severus had sent his mother and daughter to change his mind, even though Harry had never said he wasn't going in the first place. "You'll want to tell your father that in future if he wants something, he needs to take care of it himself. You should also inform him that I have every intention of going to Wales with the three of you."

After Magnolia and Eileen left, Harry asked Poppy for some parchment and a quill, then began writing.

* * *

When Severus lit a fire in the fireplace, the first thing he saw was the letter on the sofa. His mother had no doubt placed it there for him to see. He pointed his wand at it, then opened it when it flew into his hands.

_Severus,_

It has been brought to my attention that I have been acting a bit immature. Have I? If so, please accept my apology. I could blame the way I have acted on my pain, but I won't. I will, however, tell you that I am scared, and I have never reacted well when scared. When I found out that I could die because of my heart, that helpless feeling descended over me. So yes, I probably have been reacting badly, and I know that I have been selfish. You have helped me, and I have taken that for granted. Thank you for taking such good care of me. I am certain I don't deserve it.

I do want to go to Wales, Severus.

Harry

Ten minutes later Severus walked into the back room of the hospital wing, but as he's expected, Harry was asleep. Severus neared the bed and watched Harry's chest rise and fall. He heard someone enter the room and looked up to see Poppy. She motioned for him to follow her. He nodded, then carefully felt Harry's forehead, which felt perhaps a bit warm, but not enough to be of concern.

He entered Poppy's office and shut the door. "Is he going to be okay with Ron and Hermione?"

"Yes, Severus. I have told him to not overdo it, and he knows how serious his foot and heart are, so I doubt we'll have any problems from him. I have also contacted Hermione, and she assures me that they'll keep a close eye on him. And it is only for two days, then he will be with you."

Severus nodded. "I'll be here to see him off, to be sure he has his potions."

"I do hope you and Harry use the holidays to come to terms with a few things," Poppy said, a small grin on her face.

"Such as?"

"Do I need to even say it, Severus?"

Severus continued to look at Poppy, then shook his head before he opened the door and left.


	47. Chapter 47

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XLVII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,900  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Forty-Seven**

Number 93, Diagon Alley had never looked quite so festive and colorful in its thirteen previous holiday seasons. As Harry entered the storeroom, he looked behind him and thought that Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes definitely added character to the immediate area. Many of the neighboring establishments appeared no different than if it were a day in June — they were obviously owned by older wizards and witches who had grown up considering Christmas merely another day of work — most of Diagon Alley's establishments, however, were festooned with baubles and any other holiday-related decoration one could imagine, and the children bundled up in their cloaks and scarves, as well as the man dressed as Father Christmas, completed the holiday picture that Harry knew he'd remember long after 2009 was over.

Once in the storeroom, Harry sat in the recliner that George had conjured. It looked rather out of place among the boxes of merchandise, shelves and worktables, and Harry felt a bit odd sitting in it when everyone else was either standing or sitting on a table or stool, but he appreciated the thoughtfulness that George (most likely on Hermione's orders) had shown.

Everyone seemed somewhat more tense than usual, and Harry had no doubt that Ginny's condition was foremost in their thoughts. He wanted to ask about her, even though Hermione had already told him there was no change, but his thoughts were diverted when George entered the room carrying a rather ghastly wrapped present.

"Harry, mate," George said, trying to sound and look serious (and failing on both counts), "normally, I'd wait until Christmas to give this to you, but I thought you might want this early. Happy Christmas." A huge grin appeared on George's face as he looked at Ron.

Harry didn't miss Hermione's disapproving look as he took the package and tore into the wrapping paper that only George would use, to find… a walking stick that had been painted red and had the words: _Watch out… here comes Harry Potter _painted on it in white letters that were not difficult at all to read. He examined it and laughed.

"Thanks, George. I guess I won't have to worry about anyone nicking my walking stick." Harry grinned as his eyes took in the rather colorful contraption, but he could see that Hermione looked anything but happy about the gift that George had given him.

Harry thought it was brilliant. None of his friends, other than Hermione, had any idea how serious his foot was, but they didn't need to. Harry'd had enough seriousness and melancholy — he was ready to have a little fun. "Now when I walk down the corridors, the students will know I'm coming."

"You'll be like Mad-Eye, except rather than a wooden leg, you'll have a wooden walking stick," added Ron as he ignored his wife's glare.

"You could also use it to hit students on the head when they misbehave," said George as he took the walking stick from Harry and twirled it around and acted as if he were going to hit Ron on the head.

"Or you could use it to hit them on their hands when they do something they shouldn't," said Charlie as he entered the room from the shop. "Come to think of it, I could use it to keep order in here."

"You lot are horrid," said Hermione as she stood and exited the shop. Harry knew she wouldn't go far.

"So how are you, Harry?" asked Charlie.

"I'm okay; things are taking longer to heal than I'd like, but there's nothing for it. I just have to wait and be patient."

"Yeah, we know all about being patient," added Ron.

"How are your Mum and Dad?" Harry asked no one in particular since all three of the others had the same mum and dad.

"Not very good," replied Charlie as he took a seat on the table nearest Harry. "Mum is a mess and she won't leave Ginny's side. Dad's been working late every day trying to find any information he can on Carl, but there's nothing."

"Has there been any change with Gin? Is she going to be okay?" Harry took a biscuit from the tin George handed him, then passed it to Charlie.

"The Healers say her brain activity seems normal, but she hasn't given any indication that she is about to wake up. If I ever get my hands on that husband of hers, I'll kill him," said Ron, as he looked toward the door Hermione had recently exited.

"No, you won't, Ron. You are going to be a father to the child that Hermione is going to bring into this world. We Weasleys die for noble reasons, not selfish ones," Charlie said as he took the walking stick from George and handed it back to Harry. "Harry, stay as long as you want. George and I have to get back to work."

Hermione chose that time to reenter the storeroom, and Harry knew they were about to leave.

Later that night as the three of them ate supper, and as Ron asked Hermione how her day had been and if she felt okay, Harry couldn't help but think about what he was missing. If he and Ginny had stayed together, they'd probably have two or three kids, and Ginny wouldn't currently be lying in St. Mungo's, fighting for her life, but that line of thinking was never good because Harry knew he wouldn't be happy had he and Ginny remained together. Still. It was lonely not having someone to share his evenings with, and Harry envied Ron and Hermione.

"What are you thinking about, Harry? You look about a million miles away," said Hermione as she poured herself more pumpkin juice.

"Huh? Oh, nothing really." Hermione didn't believe him, and Harry knew she'd get him to talk — she always did. "So when will I get to know if you're having a witch or a wizard?"

"When the baby's born. We're not going to find out. What? Don't look at me like that, Harry."

"Hermione, you plan out everything. You are the most prepared person I know." Harry was genuinely shocked. "I figured you'd want to have every last detail planned for the baby."

"Yes, well, after I talked to Molly, I decided it would be best to wait. She said with each of her seven children, she and Arthur always looked forward to seeing their child for the first time, not knowing anything about them. I always thought I'd want to know, but Ron and I agree that it'll be best to wait. I think it's a girl, but Ron thinks it's a boy. What do you think?"

"I think you're going to have a little witch with red hair and blue eyes." Harry couldn't wait. It had been three years since Bill and Fleur had their youngest.

"You need to be a father, Harry. You were so good with Ronnie," Ron said, as Hermione glared at him.

"It's okay, Hermione. Ronnie's gone, and it's okay to talk about him. I'm not going to go all mental," Harry said as he tried to smile. "And I'm not saying I wouldn't want to be a father, but that doesn't seem very likely since as far as I am aware there have never been any births that resulted from two wizards buggering, and before you say it, Hermione, no, I don't want to adopt a child and raise it on my own. I have huge amounts of respect for single parents, but I don't think I want to start out parenting as a single parent."

"Carter seems like a nice enough bloke. Do you think you and he might get serious enough to consider adopting?" Hermione asked as she stood.

Not bloody likely, but Harry decided against voicing the thought. "We're a long way off from that, Hermione; we've only been out twice, and seeing as how I nearly got him killed, I doubt he'll want anything to do with me now."

"Does he know about you yet?" Ron stood and took his and Harry's empty plates.

"About me being a wizard? No. Hermione and I are going to see him tomorrow. He got out of hospital today."

"You never did tell me. How did Snape know where you would be that day?"

Harry grinned at Ron as he stood and took the empty goblets and followed Ron into the kitchen. "Severus made me tell him the previous evening."

"_Severus_ made you, did he? Since when did anyone make Harry Potter do anything?"

"Since I decided I might not be quite as resilient and self-reliant as I once thought."

"So you chose Snape to be the one you trusted?"

"No, actually it was he who decided to trust me when he was the young Severus. I guess when he was re-aged, I decided that he wasn't all bad."

* * *

One day to go. Severus dismissed the students, but remained seated behind his desk, thinking about everything that had happened over the past few weeks. Not even four weeks earlier he had been an eleven-year-old, now he was an adult, had a daughter, and... as much as he did not want to admit it, he found himself becoming more and more enamored with Harry Potter. Initially the fascination had been mere curiosity, but now it had morphed into much more, and Severus was beginning to believe that he wanted to be more than Harry's friend. Harry had tried valiantly to make the two of them friends, but Severus had tried to resist. So how would Harry react now if he knew that Severus wanted to be something more?

The door opened and his mother entered.

"Why the sad face?" asked his mother as she walked to the front of the room and sat in one of the front row seats.

"Harry." Severus looked at his mother as he stood. He hadn't planned on telling anyone about what he was feeling, but his mother had always been there to help him, and at the moment, he really did need the support of his mother.

"You have feelings for him."

"Yes." Severus walked to Harry's office and quenched the fire, retrieved his cloak from his office, then returned to the classroom and stood against one of the desks. He sighed as his mother smiled at him.

"Tell him, Severus."

"It's not as easy as that, Mother. I would rather have him as a friend than not have him in my life at all, and I cannot tell him while he is still recovering."

"Do you honestly think such news would upset Harry, and that he wouldn't return your feelings?"

"I have no idea how he feels about me, but I cannot imagine that he would return the feelings I am having for him."

"I don't think he has any clue how he feels, Severus, but I do think he feels the same about you as you do about him."

"Perhaps you are correct, Mother, but I don't want him to confuse his feelings of protectiveness that he had for me when I was younger, with feelings that mean more than that. I won't say anything until I know for certain how he feels."


	48. Chapter 48

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XLVIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,725  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Forty-Eight**

A disquieted Severus entered his office for the final day of term. What in Merlin's name had possessed him to tell his mother that he had feelings for Harry? Yes, it was the truth, but not a truth he had wanted to make public to anyone… ever. Especially not his mother, who would love nothing more than for her son and Harry to discover that they belonged together.

Truth be told, Severus wasn't even certain how profound his feelings for Harry were. Perhaps his feelings were fleeting, and would go away with time. More than likely, they would. There were absolutely no indications that Harry Potter and Severus Snape belonged together, and, in fact, there was more evidence than would be needed in the Wizengamot to prove that the two were not meant for one another.

Harry exasperated him to no end, then there was the fact that Harry was the wizarding world's sweetheart. Why would he ever want to be with someone such as Severus Snape, the former Death Eater? And why would Severus want to be with someone whose passion for life was so completely opposite to his?

Severus was erudite (or he tried to act as if he were) and an introvert, while Harry could not be bothered about acting cultured, and bordered on being an extrovert. He did have a penchant for the melancholy and, at those times, Harry could revert as far inside himself as any recluse, but more often than not, he exhibited the traits of an extrovert. Severus had only ever been with other men who were similar to him, and Harry was about as dissimilar to Severus as a person could be. Therefore, he and Harry being together would be a fallacy — they could never work together.

There was nothing for it — Severus needed to find out how real (or not real) his feelings were. It might be that all of the suggestive comments his mother and Poppy had been making were behind these feelings. Regardless, Severus knew that he would have plenty of time over the holidays to observe Harry and to examine his own feelings. He needed to discern if there was any possibility that the two of them would ever work together. Part of Severus actually hoped that the answer to that question would be no. He had no right to be interested in someone who was twenty years younger than him, even though, physically, nine years were all that separated Harry and him now.

Everything about Harry should deter Severus from pursuing this inane possibility. It should, but it didn't, and Severus had no idea why. It made absolutely no sense, and was enough to make Severus want to scream at the unfairness of it all.

* * *

"I thought we might go see Ginny this afternoon, Harry," said Hermione as she poured more pumpkin juice into his goblet. "But if you would rather not, I'll go see her tomorrow after you leave."

Harry took a bite of toast. Did he want to go see Ginny? He did, but wasn't at all certain he was prepared to see her. "Yeah, we could do that. I'd like to see Gin."

"Ron Flooed earlier and said that the healers seem to think she'll wake soon, but he didn't tell me why they think that."

"Do they still think she might be like the Longbottoms?" Harry sent his plate to the sink and finished his pumpkin juice.

"No one knows, but Arthur and Molly seem resigned to the possibility. Well, we should go. I told Carter we'd be there at ten."

A few minutes later, after casting Impervius to protect his foot, Harry and Hermione walked out into the dreary, rainy weather and climbed into the waiting taxi. Not being able to Apparate was limiting, and Harry didn't like his usual mode of transportation being restricted. Poppy said he might be ready to Apparate and Floo by January, but Harry didn't think he'd try to Floo for quite a while. He had never been one to navigate the Floo very well, and now, when he needed to be careful, it would not be at all good for him to re-injure his foot by landing on it as he exited the Floo.

As Harry looked out the window, he began to worry. Hermione had talked to Carter on the telephone, and she said he sounded the same as before, so that was a good sign, but how would he look, and how would he react to what he was going to be told?

While Harry visited with Carter, Hermione was going to buy a few items at Marks and Spencer. She'd asked if Harry wanted to do any Christmas shopping, but he'd said no. He had promised Eileen and Magnolia that he would go with them.

Fifteen minutes later Harry rang the doorbell and anxiously awaited seeing how Carter looked after his unfortunate indoctrination into the magical world by way of _Sectumsempra_. Harry was going to have numerous scars, so he surmised that Carter would as well.

When the door opened, Harry was relieved to see that Carter didn't appear to look any different, but he did seem uncomfortable, however, which was Harry's first clue that this meeting with Carter might be their last. "Hi, Carter."

"Harry. Come in."

Per Carter's instructions, Harry entered the sitting room and sat on the sofa. Carter followed a few seconds later with a footstool for Harry, then he sat in a chair by the fire. Harry propped his foot on the stool and tried to get comfortable.

"You've lost a lot of weight, Harry."

"Yeah, almost a stone. You look well. How do you feel?" Harry didn't want to talk about his reduced weight or anything else relating to his injuries.

"Okay, fine, we won't discuss what happened to you. Hermione said you wouldn't want to. I feel fine, but my chest doesn't look at all good. The doctors told me there would be severe scarring."

"About that, Carter, I'm sorry. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have had to go through that."

For the next hour, Harry told Carter everything: about him being a wizard, and how he had been kidnapped. He left out the details; Carter didn't need to know how badly he had been injured, and Harry knew that Hermione had already told him.

Much to Harry's surprise, Carter knew that he was a wizard. He'd been with a few other wizards and they had all given off similar vibrations when they were having sex. Even though Carter had never penetrated Harry, they had come close to it.

Carter then left the room and returned with a bag and handed it to Harry. Because of the somber look on Carter's face, Harry now knew without a doubt that this was going to be his and Carter's final meeting. It saddened him somewhat, but he had been prepared for this outcome.

"Your clothes. I couldn't find your coat though."

"Thanks. Severus, the er… the wizard who found you — he discovered that my coat was by the door and took it with him when he left with you."

"I was told I could have bled to death had it not been for my being rescued so quickly. Please thank him for me."

"Yeah, I will. So this is it for us, yeah?" Why he wasn't more upset, Harry hadn't a clue. All he knew was that he was almost relieved that he and Carter might not go out again.

"Yeah, it is. I'm sorry, Harry. The reason it never worked with me and the other wizards was because I was jealous of their abilities. I like you too much to want to be jealous of you."

"It's a bit daunting, the wizarding world. We do things on a rather grand scale according to Muggles… er non-magical folk, that is."

"Yeah. So what are you doing for the holidays?"

"I'm going to Wales with a friend and his family."

"His? Is he someone you are interested in as more than a friend?"

Harry laughed nervously. He was becoming a bit uncomfortable with the repeated references to him and Severus being more than friends. "Severus and me… er no. Definitely not. Are you going to your mum and dad's?" Harry asked, wanting very much to not think or talk about Severus.

"Yes. My sister and brother are going to be there; it'll be a reunion of sorts. We haven't all been together in five years."

Speaking of being jealous… Harry envied the fact that Carter had a family to spend Christmas with, but this was nothing new. He'd always had similar feelings toward anyone who had a family: Ron, most of all.

* * *

Severus was reading an article in the _Daily Prophet_ when someone knocked on his office door. He pointed his wand and determined that it was Derrington. No doubt he had a message for Harry. Severus opened the door and forced a smile as the other wizard entered.

"I am about to leave and wanted to pop in and say hello, Severus."

And goodbye, Severus almost said aloud. "Harry wanted me to tell you goodbye for him. He tried to tell you himself, but when he stopped by your office yesterday morning, you were meeting with Minerva."

"I stopped by Wednesday night to see him, but he was already asleep. Please tell him I am going to miss our talks and dueling sessions."

Severus nodded.

"Take good care of him, Severus. He's truly one of a kind."

Yes, Harry definitely was one of a kind, but Severus didn't know what to make of Derrington's comment about taking care of Harry. He nodded and left it at that.

"I am happy that I was able to finally meet you; your reputation was not easy to live up to, Severus."

"From what I have heard, Derrington, you are quite adept at Defense."

"My students are fortunate to have Harry next term."

"Quite," Severus replied, wishing that Derrington would leave. He glanced down at the _Prophet_.

"I'll take my leave. Goodbye, Severus."

Severus merely nodded and watched as Derrington left and closed the door, then he closed the _Prophet_, stood and doused the fire, and left for his rooms, very much looking forward to his three weeks in Wales with his mother, daughter…

And Harry.


	49. Chapter 49

**Title**: To Live Again: Part XLIX  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,800  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst, sexual content, mentions of past het sex  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Forty-Nine**

"Carter likes you too much? Is that really what he told you, Harry?" Hermione asked as she helped him through the window. Once she joined him inside what Muggles thought of as _Purge and Dowse_, a department store closed for refurbishment, she continued her commentary. "That is not a reason one usually associates with ceasing a relationship. There has to be more to it, such as he is afraid he'll get blown to bits or hexed if he continues to see you," Hermione said, a slight grin on her face.

That was what Harry thought, but hearing the thoughts voiced — even jokingly — were rather unsettling. "Er, thanks, Hermione. That makes me feel loads better."

"Well, you are Harry Potter," teased Hermione.

"Yeah, I guess I'm too dangerous," Harry said facetiously. "He did tell me to tell you that you must let him know when the baby is born."

"I will, although there is no way he won't hear about it. His mum and my mum have been the best of friends for longer than Carter or I have been alive. So the two of you are really not going to see one another again?"

Hermione seemed genuinely disappointed, and Harry knew that she was. For the past year she had relentlessly talked about how wonderful Carter was, in an attempt to convince Harry to go out with him. She had been certain they would be perfect for one another. Had it not been for the near-death experience, they might have, but _might haves_ didn't count for a lot. "We might go out for a coffee sometime, but nothing more than that," Harry answered as he surreptitiously perused the inhabitants of the rickety chairs along the wall. One never knew what they were going to find in the reception area of St. Mungo's, but that was not the only place to run into strange sights.

His visit to St. Mungo's in fifth year had been something of an adventure for Harry. While there to see Ron's dad, He, Ron, and Hermione had seen Gilderoy Lockhart, whose mind hadn't recovered from the backfired memory charm he had attempted during their second year, and they had seen Neville and his grandmother visiting Neville's parents, who were not dead, yet did not truly live. The young and adventurous Harry had been captivated with the maladies and curses he had seen people suffering from.

Now the sights and sounds within the walls of St. Mungo's had the opposite effect: they served to depress Harry. Instead of seeing the potential patients as intriguing and interesting, he now viewed them as sad and desperate. As he walked down the corridor toward the lifts, he heard babies crying, and adult wizards screaming. A young witch almost ran into him as she tried to rid herself of the cauldron that surrounded her. Hermione had to help him steer clear of the hopping witch.

Had there been room, Harry would have been admitted to St. Mungo's when he'd been tortured. As happy as he was that he'd remained at Hogwarts, he knew that he should have been admitted. Poppy, with Severus's help, had done the near impossible in order to progress Harry to the point he was at now. There were months, and possibly years of physical therapy that remained, but he knew he had survived the worst of it.

As they stood in the lift, which was crowded with healers, patients, and visitors, Harry could see that Hermione was not fairing well with the odd-looking wizard who stood next to her.

"I don't like this place at all," said Hermione as the wizard, who just so happened to be sporting peacock feathers instead of hair on his scalp, began calling her names that were not proper.

When the lift opened to reveal the fourth floor, Hermione and Harry exited. "It's the next ward on the right," said Harry as he looked back and glared at the old wizard who was looking at Hermione's backside.

"I wonder how he came to have peacock feathers sprouting from his head," Hermione said, trying not to laugh.

"I'd guess he tried to gain access to someone's home who had peacocks guarding the premises. Hermione," Harry said, his voice much lower as he looked toward the room where Ginny was. "What if Gin wakes up and doesn't know who we are?"

"Don't think that way, Harry. Oh dear, they are beginning to serve supper. I knew we should have come earlier. I doubt they let us stay long." When they reached the Janus Thickey Ward, Hermione opened the door and began to enter.

Harry hadn't taken more than two steps when he heard Severus's voice. What was he doing here? "What are you doing here?" Harry asked Severus when the wizard looked behind him to see who had opened the door.

"I'll explain later," was the terse reply Severus gave before returning his attention to Ginny, whose eyes were now open.

Arthur was standing on the other side of the bed, and he looked tired. Harry was surprised that Molly wasn't present, but he had an idea that she was somewhere in St. Mungo's.

"I will begin experimenting immediately to see if I can create a potion to help her, Arthur," Severus said as he reviewed a parchment one of the healers handed him. "Perhaps if we begin intense therapy now, she will have the opportunity to return to how she once was."

_To how she once was_? "Ginny?" Harry asked as he walked to where she could see him. Her eyes continued to stare straight ahead.

"Harry, if you want to say something to her, I am certain that she can hear you and understand what you say," Arthur replied. "Molly has been talking to her constantly in the hopes that she'll wake."

Harry nodded and tried to smile as he turned his attention from Mr. Weasley back to Ginny. "Hi, Gin. I know you're going to get better. Severus will help you. I love you, Gin." Ginny's eyes never wavered, and it was almost more than Harry could take. He had never been nervous around Ginny, but what did one say when someone they once were intimate with was in the condition that Ginny was in. "You have to get better because Ron and Hermione are going to have a baby."

"Harry, might I have a word?" asked Severus as he walked toward the door.

Once the door was closed and he sat in a chair that Severus had conjured, Harry looked at Severus. "What's wrong with her?"

"You know what is wrong with her, Harry."

"But you're going to help her get better. She's going to be okay, yeah?"

"Harry, I'm going to try, but I'm going to be honest with you. It is unlikely that Ginevra will ever be as she was."

No, that wasn't an option. "You'll make her better, Severus. I know you will. _Please_?" Harry mouthed the _please_ because he couldn't say it out loud.

"I am going to do everything in my power to help her, Harry. Now, I think it would be best if you and Hermione returned to her home. I can tell by looking at your eyes that you have overexerted yourself."

Harry shook his head. "I want to sit with Ginny."

"Do what you want to do, Harry; it's only your health at stake, but that doesn't matter to you, does it? I'll be at the Weasley's home tomorrow at noon."

After Harry watched Severus enter the lift, he returned to the ward and sat beside Ginny on the bed. He didn't say anything, only ran his hands through her long, red hair. She had to be okay.

* * *

After four hours in his workroom, Severus reluctantly put out the fire. He hadn't made any progress regarding the potion for Ginevra. There had to be an ingredient he was missing. Perhaps after sleep he would be ready to begin anew. He walked to his bedroom, removed his clothing, then went to have a shower.

His inability to find a cure for Ginevra upset Severus, but at least one of his dilemmas had been resolved: he now knew without a doubt that Harry and he had no future together. They were too different.

This realization, while a relief, left Severus feeling somewhat maudlin. While he hadn't allowed himself to think that Harry and him would begin a relationship, he had begun to hope for a future which would include someone else in his life. He had begun to think that there was happiness to be had with another man (Lily and Narcissa had been the only witches he had ever been attracted to, and now the thought of being with a witch did not appeal to Severus in the least.).

After he stepped out of the shower and dried himself, Severus let the towel drop, then examined his body in the mirror. He was of average height and weight, but his body was covered with scars, and his face was not attractive in the least.

He ran his hands over his body, and the last thing he touched was his penis. While it was not as thick as Lucius's or the few others he had either swallowed or had inserted inside of him, it was much longer than average.

With men, he had, with one exception, always bottomed, and had not once come out of being buggered without intense pain and blood coating his anus. If he were fortunate enough to ever be with another man, Severus would top, and he would care for the other man and soothe him as he entered him.

Narcissa, the only witch he had ever been with, had loved his lengthy penis, and Severus had loved having it inside of Narcissa. She had been a responsive lover, and had never complained when he tried to go deeper.

Severus preferred men, but he was fairly certain that he would never again have an orgasm such as the ones Narcissa managed to pull from him.

A few tugs were all it took before Severus could see his penis rising toward him. He then reached behind him with his other hand and inserted a finger into his anus. The double sensation was not anywhere near as intense as having someone inside of him or of him being inside Narcissa, but it served its purpose in less than ten minutes.

Breathing heavily, Severus looked at his chest and at the wall where white, creamy ejaculate pooled, and closed his eyes as his breathing returned to normal. He had never been one for hand-jobs, but he thought perhaps he needed to take advantage of them. It was amazing how much it improved his mood.


	50. Chapter 50

**Title**: To Live Again: Part L  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,600  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifty**

Before Harry left with Hermione, Poppy had made him promise her that he wouldn't overdo it. He'd nodded and assured her that he knew his limits, because, of course, he knew what he could and couldn't do… or so he thought.

He had overdone it, and he hadn't known his limits.

Not even a second after he woke, Harry knew he was in trouble: his chest felt as if someone were sitting on it, and he knew he had a high temperature — he could feel the heat radiating off of his face. He wanted to ignore how bad he felt, but he wouldn't.

"Hermione?" he called out, knowing that she would hear him no matter where she was in the house. She had set up a charm on his room that would magnify any sound made. As expected, she entered the room within seconds, and gasped when she saw how he looked. She felt his forehead and shook her head before leaving.

Harry prepared himself for a verbal lashing as he heard Hermione speaking through the Floo in the sitting room. A few minutes later, when Severus entered the guest room/soon-to-be nursery, the worry on his face was evident, and Harry felt terrible for worrying everyone.

Severus's hands worked quickly to divest Harry of his shirt, then his wand scanned the much too warm chest. He then set down the wand and placed both hands over Harry's heart and gently pressed down as he closed his eyes and chanted several words. He then removed his hands and opened his eyes. He glared at Harry.

"Did I not tell you that you had overexerted yourself, Harry? I do not speak merely to hear myself modulate. Usually, there is a reason I articulate my thoughts verbally," he continued as he opened a vial and helped Harry drink its contents. "When will you ever learn? Your temperature is dangerously high, and your heart is in danger of ceasing to function. If you weren't already so ill, I'd be tempted to throw you over my knee and give you a fair few lashes for endangering yourself as you have."

"Didn't mean to overdo it, Severus," Harry whispered as Hermione placed a flannel on his forehead. "I'm sorry."

"Yes, and I didn't mean to become a Death Eater, yet I did, and it almost got me killed. If you are intent on killing yourself, Harry, continue as you have been. Those you leave behind will miss you, but life goes on, yes? I certainly won't grieve your loss. You so obviously wish to join your parents."

"I don't wish to die, Severus," Harry said, trying to glare. "I said I'm sorry."

"Sorry does not bring back dead people, Harry."

"Am I going to die because of what I did?" Why hadn't he listened to Severus?

"Not if I can help it. Your progress has been set back, but you should improve as long as you do as you are told in future. You are coming with me and you are going to do exactly what I say, Harry. When I say jump, you jump, and when I say sleep, you will sleep. If my rules are too stringent for you to follow, you will go to St. Mungo's where they will isolate you from everyone else. The choice is yours, Harry."

St. Mungo's might be better for him, but he didn't want to go there. "I'll do what you say, Severus."

"Give me your word, Harry. I do not wish to observe you die, so if you have plans to disregard my orders, tell me now."

"You have my word, Severus. I'll do exactly what you say." Then Harry grinned. "But you better not take advantage of that. I'd rather wait until I can make the choice myself before you bugger me." Harry tried to keep his tone serious, but he failed. "I'm just taking the mickey out of you, Severus; you don't have to look so terrified. I am aware that I'm quite safe with you. I would be the last person you'd want to bugger."

"No, not the last person," replied Severus, a slight grin on his face. He then left the room and returned a few minutes later. His eyes scanned the room and then glanced at Harry's trunk. "My mother and Magnolia have left for Wales. You and I will return to Hogwarts and remain there until Monday. If you are doing well enough by then, we will leave for Wales. Do you have any belongings anywhere else, or is everything in your trunk?"

"My shampoo is in the shower and there are a pair of silk, green boxers on the floor near the shower, but everything else is in my trunk," Harry said, distractedly. He was still trying to figure out who was behind him in the _Severus wouldn't want to bugger_ department.

Twenty minutes later, a bundled up Harry was holding on to Severus, who was holding him protectively against his chest. Severus had decided the safest way to travel was by Apparition, but, of course, Harry could only do so if someone were holding him. He felt ridiculous wrapped up in two blankets, but it was only a few degrees above zero outside, and the only clothes Harry wore were a pair of boxers.

Hermione was going to Apparate as well, and bring his trunk. Harry wondered why Severus didn't shrink it, but he thought Hermione probably wanted to feel as though she was helping. Harry felt terrible for upsetting her as he had.

"Do not let go, Harry," said Severus, his voice serious.

"Don't worry. I don't wish to be splinched." To prove his point, Harry tightened his grip around Severus. "Don't forget, you can't take advantage of me until I have the choice to say yes or no." Harry grinned; he was having fun with this.

"Fortunately for you, Harry, I am not into young men who have heart ailments that could kill them if they are excited."

Harry sighed. "Are you always this pleasant? I am here and am able to hear, you know. If a damn erection could kill me, I'd rather have not known that."

His comment was ignored and Harry was told to close his mouth and eyes, and a few seconds later he felt the wind as it whipped around him, and knew they were at Hogwarts. He knew Severus wouldn't run because that might exacerbate his injuries. What seemed like hours later, they reached the castle and Harry thanked Merlin when they were inside where it was warm. He opened his eyes and tried to see where they were going. Instead of heading upstairs toward the hospital wing, they began descending stairs.

"Where are we going?"

"You are going to stay in my rooms. I want to have you with me at all times. Poppy is leaving in the morning, but she will be down in a few minutes to give you a complete medical."

Yes, St. Mungo's might have been preferable, but it was too late now. When he was laid down, Harry removed the blankets that were covering him; he was sweating. He closed his eyes as Severus left the room. Harry heard him talking and knew he was speaking to Hermione. Hermione then entered the room and kissed him on the forehead.

"You're going to be okay, Harry."

* * *

Severus returned to his bedroom and found Harry sleeping. He was breathing a bit erratically, and his coloring was not at all good. Severus was frustrated. Yes, Harry would improve, but for the next fortnight, and possibly more, he was going to once again be restricted to bed. Harry was not going to like that at all.

Severus summoned a flannel and a bowl of water, and began sponging Harry, whose hair was matted to his forehead. His temperature had risen once again. Severus went to the bathroom and turned on the tap. He had thought his days of giving Harry baths were over.

When he lowered Harry into the water, green eyes opened and looked at him. Severus smiled. "I guess you didn't think I would be giving you any more baths, did you?"

"No. It's rather embarrassing having your former teacher seeing your bits as they bathe you. I kind of like to reserve that for the people I am intimate with. You've probably seen me naked more times than Ginny."

"I've taken absolutely no pleasure in it, I assure you," Severus said as he poured the contents of a vial into the water.

"Oh, thanks, am I that pathetic looking?"

It was evident that Harry was being cheeky, but Severus would take that over an unresponsive Harry, any day. "That is not at all what I meant, Harry, and you know it."

"I think it's unfair that you get to see my bits, yet I don't get to see yours."

"You, are sick. I, am not. Fairness has nothing to do with it."

"Still, you could show me. Just to make it fair, of course."

"And you could desist with this line of questioning. I have no intention of showing you my bits until you… how did you say it? Oh yes, until you can make a choice… _if_ I give you the opportunity to do so." Severus smirked as he began to wash Harry, who did not say another word.

As Severus was about to clean Harry's _bits_, Harry took the flannel and cleaned himself, then handed the flannel back and smiled as Severus turned him over and cleaned his backside.

Severus knew he would be giving Harry no more baths.


	51. Chapter 51

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,236  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifty-One**

The Prince home, located in Northwest Wales, was not too small, nor too large, and Harry thought it the perfect place to spend Christmas, even if the dry, green countryside did not exactly exude a festive atmosphere as the white, snow-covered moors of Scotland did.

Smells of the holiday season, however, did create a festive feel and no matter where he had been inside the Prince home during the past three days, the aromas of gingerbread, cinnamon, and wassail had wafted throughout the house.

Currently, it being the eve of Christmas, at half-ten in the evening, there was also the smell of taffy coming from the kitchen. Magnolia checked every few minutes to see if it was ready, but as of yet, it wasn't, and Magnolia was becoming impatient.

Harry, restricted to the sofa or bed for two more days, watched Magnolia and Severus decorate the tree. Severus was working on the upper-half, placing tin icicles on the branches, and his daughter was doing the same near the bottom. The tree was sparsely decorated, but Harry thought it beautiful; it complimented the room in every way.

As Harry's eyes scanned the sitting room, he once again found himself mesmerized by the large portrait of the Prince family that hung on the wall above the mantel. From an early age, Harry had been fascinated by family pictures because they were a glimpse into what a normal and happy family must be like, something Harry had never experienced. The three inhabitants of the portrait seemed so very alive, and Harry had spent hours imagining what their daily activities must have been like.

Within the portrait, Eileen's parents, who looked to be in their thirties, sat on the very sofa Harry was currently lying on, and their three-year-old daughter, Eileen, her long brunette ringlets setting off her piercing blue eyes, sat on her father's lap. They were all smiling and looked to not have a care in the world.

From the clothes they wore, it was easy to discern that the Princes had most likely been wealthy. Harry hadn't enquired about that, however, because he had the idea that very little money remained, and he also had an idea where that money had gone.

His eyes traveled to the spot in the portrait where the tree now stood, and Harry wondered what the Prince's Christmases had been like. Had Eileen helped her father decorate the tree as Magnolia was now doing with her father? Had Mrs. Prince made gingerbread, taffy, and wassail, and hummed Christmas carols the way her daughter did now? Had Severus been as impatient to eat the taffy as Magnolia now was?

If the walls could speak, Harry knew he'd hear stories of love and happiness. Severus had relayed a few of his favorites over the past few days, and Harry knew he would have loved to be part of such a wonderful family.

Harry's thoughts returned to the present when Eileen entered the room with a plate of biscuits and taffy and a pot of tea. She looked at the tree, a huge grin on her face.

"I do believe this just might be the best tree we've ever had. Magnolia, love, you have done a wonderful job."

"Daddy Severus helped," said a grinning Magnolia as she looked at her father.

"Yes, your father has always been my tree decorator. The two of you work well together. Harry," Elieen said as she turned toward him, "would you do us the honor of placing the angel at the top of the tree?"

Harry's immediate inclination was to say no because he was aware of how special the angel was to the Prince family, but the look on Severus's face changed his mind. This was not merely a request. Harry knew precisely what it meant, and he would not allow this opportunity to pass him by. He was in awe that he'd been asked. "I'd be honored to place the angel at the top of the tree, but I'll need my wand since I can't stand without my crutches" (Severus had taken them upstairs to prevent Harry from trying to get up and walk around), Harry said as he looked pointedly at Severus, who had not given him his wand back since Saturday.

"Oh that won't be necessary, dear. Severus will help you," replied Eileen as she set down the plate and tea in front of Harry.

Harry, as well as Severus, looked at Eileen as if he had just been told magic wasn't real. Harry opened his mouth to protest, but closed it, knowing that Eileen would have her way. He watched as Magnolia carefully removed the beautiful angel from the box it had been in, and he understood why Eileen and Severus had spoken with such reverence about the angel. It looked so very fragile, as if it would break into a thousand pieces if mishandled. According to Severus, it was two-hundred years old. As Magnolia walked over to him and placed the angel in his hand, Harry studied it, then looked up and found Eileen, Severus, and Magnolia looking at him. Magnolia and Eileen were grinning at him, and Severus's expression was impossible to read, but Harry thought he understood.

Severus approached Harry and lifted him into his arms. Harry felt completely ridiculous, but he didn't say anything as he was carried the few meters to where the tree stood. Then he turned his head toward Severus and whispered so only he could hear. "You should do this, Severus. I'm not family."

Oh how he wished that were different.

"My mother has asked you to do this, and it would upset her if you declined, Harry. My mother knows what she is doing."

Yes, Harry knew what Eileen was doing as well. He'd had a lot of time to think over the past few days of being confined to Severus's bed, and what he had discovered had initially upset him quite a bit, but slowly, he'd accepted that perhaps there were worse tragedies in life than developing feelings for someone who cared for him. He still wasn't at all certain how he felt, but he thought he knew how Severus felt, and he knew without a doubt what Eileen thought and wanted to happen.

Harry nodded and whispered for Severus to lift him a bit higher so he could reach the top of the tree. He carefully extended his arm, and when it was hovering over the top of the tree, he lowered it and set the angel on the twig that sat atop the tree. He turned the angel so it faced them, and then withdrew his hand as Severus returned him to the sofa. Harry's gaze remained on Severus, and only wavered when Magnolia ran to the sofa and sat beside Harry with taffy her grandmother had given her. Harry accepted the offered taffy and then returned his gaze toward Severus. He felt the need to speak, but he had no idea what to say. Nothing would be adequate to express the feelings he was currently experiencing.

Just maybe Harry had finally found the family he had always longed for, and perhaps Christmas from now on would be a time of year Harry looked forward to with excitement and hope rather than with dread.

* * *

Severus sat at the table across from his mother and shook his head as she looked at him. "I know what you're thinking, Mother, but don't. Harry's been acting quite odd since Saturday, and I have no idea why, but he has been distant with me."

"Don't you? Severus, didn't you notice the way Harry looked at you as you set him down on the sofa?"

Yes. Yes. Yes. Severus had seen the way those green eyes had met his black eyes. "Yes, I did."

"And that does not answer your questions about how he feels about you? Severus, I have stood back and watched the two of you over the past month and there is not a doubt in my mind that the two of you belong together. Yes, as your mother, I am possibly overstepping my boundaries, but Severus, please do not allow this opportunity at happiness and love to pass you by. I have never in my life met anyone as full of love as Harry, and whether he realizes it or not, he is falling in love with you. And I am quite certain you are already in love with him."

Severus wouldn't deny the truth. "I will not initiate a relationship with Harry, Mother."

"Why not? You know that Harry is not going to be the one to initiate anything with you."

"Yes, I am aware of that fact, Mother."

"I love you dearly, Severus, but you are as stubborn as they come. I cannot believe that you would allow love to pass you by. Think about this carefully, Severus. Sometimes we have to go after what we want, and I think Harry is worth everything, love. If I could do this for you, I would, but I can't. Only you can do this."

Severus watched his mother leave the kitchen, then stood to follow, but as he opened the door, his eyes fell upon the mistletoe that had so conveniently been placed over the sofa where Severus would have to stand when he carried Harry from the sofa, up the stairs, and into his bedroom. Severus opened his mouth to make his displeasure known, but then he thought better of it and decided to say nothing. He had lost the battle, and perhaps he wanted to. His mother was seated by the fire talking to Magnolia.

"What's wrong? You don't look so good, Severus," said Harry as he looked up from the book he was reading.

"I am feeling fine. What are you reading?"

"_The Tales of Beedle the Bard_. I found it in the room I'm staying in. Some of the stories are a bit disconcerting."

"In what way?" Severus asked as he took the book and found his name on the front inside cover.

"If I were a child reading about a man who had removed his heart and then tried to retrieve a heart out of another, well… that might scare me."

"It is only a story that is supposed to teach a lesson, Harry," replied Severus as he handed the book back to Harry.

"I know that, but still."

Then Severus had to sit down, and he could feel the blood draining from his face as he sat by Harry's feet. Why had he never thought of it before?

"What?" Harry asked as he sat up.

"Nothing," Severus replied, not wanting to alert Harry to what he was thinking… until he was certain it could work. It would be the perfect solution, but it would never work. Wizards used magic and were not inclined to adopt Muggle methods. But Severus had to find out if this were an option. He knew it wasn't, but perhaps he could make it one.

"Severus, tell me why you suddenly look like you saw a ghost."

"It's late, you should go to bed," Severus said as he stood and retrieved Harry from the sofa as if they had done this forever. Then he froze, remembering the mistletoe, but when he looked above him, it was no longer there. He turned and looked at his mother, whose face was as white as his had been seconds earlier. She, no doubt, had had the same thought as Severus. He mouthed thank you to her, then began ascending the stairs after Harry said his goodnights to Eileen and Magnolia.

"What is wrong, Severus, and don't tell me that it's nothing."

As much as Severus wanted to ignore Harry's question, he wouldn't. "I think there might be a way to cure your heart, but I do not wish to talk about it yet, Harry. I promise you that once I know if this is an option, I will tell you. Please do not ask me to elaborate," Severus pleaded, knowing that if asked, he'd tell Harry, and he didn't want to give him false hope.

As Severus entered the room Harry was using, he carefully set Harry down on the bed and covered him up. He then performed a cleaning charm on Harry's teeth and face. As he was about to leave, he hesitated and Harry looked at him, about to ask what he was doing. Severus then knelt beside the bed and took one of Harry's hands in his. It was almost as if someone else were dictating his movements. "I don't want to lose you, Harry."

"I don't want you to lose me either, Severus. Hold me... please?" whispered Harry, his expression and voice revealing his nervousness.

As shocking as the request had been, there was no way that Severus would not do as requested. There was a vulnerability to the younger wizard that made Severus realize that Harry might not be with him forever, and it sent Severus into a momentary panic, but he regained his composure and removed his robes and shoes, then climbed into the bed beside Harry and lifted him so he was lying on Severus's chest. "It's going to be okay, Harry. I won't lose you. I won't," Severus repeated as he ran his fingers through Harry's hair.

It didn't take long for Severus to hear Harry's breathing even out. He waited half an hour then carefully placed Harry in the bed and covered him. He retrieved his robes and shoes, then leaned over the sleeping Harry and kissed him on the forehead. "I love you, Harry."


	52. Chapter 52

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,264  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifty-Two**

Harry grasped his crutches and stood from the sofa, excited to finally be able to go outside without help. He doubted he'd get very far, but he had to begin rebuilding his strength if he ever wanted to regain his independence, and that was his number one goal: to be able to do for himself again.

It was nothing short of a miracle that he had convinced Severus and Eileen to allow him out a day earlier than Poppy had suggested, but Harry knew that his constant whinging had finally had the desired effect. He might be an adult, but he would never be too old to whinge in order to get his way.

As he looked around the sitting room and balanced himself before he took his first step, Harry grinned at the amount of wrapping paper and ribbon that littered the floor. Christmas at the Prince home, while much more subdued than the Weasley Christmases at the Burrow, had been lovely and fun, filled with the sounds of a twelve-year-old excitedly opening her presents. She had received a new broom, cloak, two sets of robes, a kite, and various other trinkets that a young witch couldn't do without.

The kite was the reason Harry was about to go outside. Magnolia had talked her father into helping her fly it, and they had finally gotten it to catch the wind. According to Eileen, it was fairly high in the sky.

Eileen a few steps in front of him, Severus immediately behind him, Harry carefully stepped outside of the Prince home for the first time with only his crutches to help him. As he had expected, he was already beginning to tire; nevertheless, he relished the weariness — it meant that he was exerting energy and not having to rely on someone else to do so for him.

Even if it took him a year, Harry was going to fly again. That was what he was aiming for, so these first steps might be small, painful ones, but they were necessary to get him to where he wanted to be.

As the ground beneath him changed from pavement to grass, Harry stumbled slightly, but regained his footing and found himself leaning against Severus to regain his breath. He watched Magnolia turn toward him and wave.

"Look how high it is, Professor Potter! Daddy Severus helped it go as high as it is. Do you want to fly it?"

Harry shook his head. He'd always wanted to fly a kite, but at the moment, he wasn't at all certain he could handle the stress of keeping the kite in the air and keeping himself upright. "Thanks, but I think I'll just watch."

"You've let it out too much, Magnolia," Severus said as he took the crutches from Harry, picked him up, and carried him the few meters to the blanket. "Wind the string around the spool a few times so the kite is not quite so high."

As Severus helped Harry sit down on the blanket, Magnolia slowly brought down the kite and ran over to sit beside Harry. Eileen set out a plate of biscuits. Harry retrieved one and popped it into his mouth. Magnolia ate two biscuits, but when her father stood, she did as well, and they went to fly the kite again. Harry loved watching Severus with Magnolia — he was so good with her.

"You have been distant this morning… more than usual. Might I enquire why that is, Harry?" asked Eileen.

Were all witches so intuitive? Harry had never been able to fool Molly — she seemed to always know when he was troubled, and Eileen seemed no different. "I need you to be honest with me, Eileen." Harry picked up another biscuit, but instead of eating it, he looked at it, then glanced at Eileen and frowned.

"I think I have been honest with you from the beginning," replied Eileen, her expression serious. "What has you upset? Are you feeling unwell?"

"Other than tired, I am feeling about as well as I can at the moment, but I need to know the truth about my future. I know my heart is weak, but I thought it would get better over time, but it's not going to get better, is it?" Harry asked as he watched Severus launch the kite into the sky. Magnolia reached for the spool, but Severus shook his head and held the spool away from her. Harry had an idea that Severus was enjoying the kite more than Magnolia was.

"Why would you think that you are not going to get better, Harry?"

"Severus thinks a heart transplant might help, and he wouldn't think that if I were going to get better with rest."

"Is that what he told you? That you need a heart transplant?" asked a troubled-looking Eileen.

"No, not exactly, but he alluded to it, and I know that's what he meant."

"My son's heart is in the right place, but he had no right to upset you with talk of a heart transplant.

"Do I need one?"

"No, Harry, you do not."

"Do wizards receive organ transplants? I have never heard of anyone receiving one in the wizarding world."

"No. Wizards rely on their magic. Organ transplants are considered a Muggle innovation that is not needed in the Wizarding world. There are a few Healers who are experimenting with them, but I don't think we will see any transplants in our lifetimes."

"Are you certain my heart is not weak enough for a transplant? Why would Severus mention it if I didn't need one?"

"Dear, your heart is nowhere near weak enough to warrant a transplant. Severus is getting ahead of himself, and I apologize for his worrying you needlessly. Yes, you do have a weak heart for a wizard, Harry, but the effects are not quite the same as a Muggle would suffer with the same condition. Wizards and witches have much stronger hearts than Muggles because of the magic they are born with. When you were tortured and given the potion, the extra magic that imbued your heart was removed and left you weak. You will never again be as strong or powerful as you once were, but you should lead a mostly normal life. If you were a Muggle, you would be monitored, but you would not be a candidate for a heart transplant. Without adding magic to the equation, your heart is now much weaker, but what makes it as weak as it is is the lack of protective magic. That is what has everyone so concerned."

"So even if I did need a transplant, I'd have to get a heart from another wizard?"

"Yes, and even then it might not work. Your body might reject the foreign magic."

That was a lot of information to digest, but at least he didn't seem to be in as dire a situation as he had thought. Hearing that he'd lost magic wasn't at all comforting, but it was no less than Harry had expected. He knew how weak and listless he felt, so the magic deficit made sense. "So what you are saying is that I would not be as weak as I am now if I were a Muggle? The lack of magic is making my heart worse?"

"That is correct. If you never attempted to use magic again, you would certainly improve quite a bit, but I don't think any of us are naïve enough to believe that you would give up using magic."

Giving up his magic was not an option that Harry wanted to even consider. "How much of my magic have I lost?"

"It is impossible to measure the precise amount lost, but within a few months, once you have begun to heal, Poppy should be able to make a fairly accurate guess as to how much magic you have lost."

"That is why Severus has not given me my wand back since Saturday?"

"Yes. We can't allow you to do any magic until you have regained some of your strength."

* * *

"Why would you even hint about a transplant, Severus? Harry does not need one, and you are aware that heart transplants are not an option in the world we live in," Eileen said as she warmed her hands by the fire.

"No, mother, you are incorrect. There are wizards who do perform transplants; most wizards and witches do not consider it an option, but it is one."

"Yes, and these so-called healers are not going to experiment on Harry, Severus. I cannot believe you would consider putting Harry in such peril. I thought you cared for him."

"You know I do, Mother, and no, I would never endanger Harry's life. I just feel so helpless and want to consider all avenues possible to make him better."

"If you really wish to help him, cease worrying him needlessly. He feels badly enough as it is and thinks he is a burden. He is no longer bed-ridden, Severus, and you need to help him regain his strength. Take him on walks. Help him do his exercises. Tell him how you feel about him."

Severus almost laughed, but when his eyes fell upon a sleeping Harry, he decided against it, and glared at his mother instead.

"Magnolia and I are going into the village to visit the cemetery. While we are gone, you might want to assure Harry that he will be fine as long as he takes it easy and does not do too much. He thinks he is a breath away from dying, and you are the one who made him think that way, so you need to be the one to correct that mistake."

All Severus could do was nod. His mother was the only person who could make him feel like a recalcitrant child, but instead of upsetting him, it assured him and made him feel wanted and loved. His mother loved him unconditionally and cared about him. She understood that her son often reacted without thinking.

After his mother and daughter left, Severus stood and walked over to the sofa where Harry was sleeping. He sat down and felt Harry's forehead. It was somewhat warm, but that would be normal for someone who had been walking and exerting energy for the first time in almost a week. Severus summoned another quilt and made certain that Harry was warm enough, then he went round the sitting room and picked up the wrapping paper. Normally, he would have insisted that Magnolia retrieve the discarded paper, but after they had returned indoors, Harry had almost immediately fallen asleep, and Magnolia had been sent into the other room so as not to wake him.

After the last of the paper was thrown away, Severus stoked the fire and then grabbed a handful of Floo Powder. He was about to throw it into the fire when his left arm suddenly erupted in pain.

Severus momentarily froze.

Not that he needed to, but hands shaking, Severus rolled up his left shirt-sleeve and shook his head at the inflamed mark on his forearm. Someone was calling him, and Severus had an idea who it was. He turned and looked at Harry, then threw the Floo Powder into the fire. He then called out _the Burrow_ and stuck his head into the flames.

"Severus, I didn't expect to hear from you. Is Harry okay?" Molly asked, as Bill and Charlie looked on, all three of them looking quite concerned.

"Harry is fine, Molly. Might I have a word with your husband? It is important."

"Yes, let me go get him."

Severus watched as Molly left the room, then as Bill knelt down as if he were about to say something.

"Ginny has woken up and seems normal, Severus. Please tell Harry."

"I will. Has there been any news regarding her husband?" Severus asked as he massaged his left arm that was now throbbing with pain.

"No. Has he called you?" asked Charlie as he knelt beside Bill.

"That is why I need to speak to your father," replied a nervous Severus. He did not want Harry to awaken and overhear him speaking about this to Arthur.

When Arthur entered the room, Severus told him he was being called, and that he needed to answer the call.

Ten minutes later, Arthur and Charlie Flooed into the Prince sitting room. Arthur placed several charms around Severus so that his every movement would be tracked.

"I will be able to follow you wherever you go, Severus, and if you are able to physically touch Carl with your right elbow, the two of you will be portkeyed into a cell in Azkban."

Severus nodded and looked at Harry. He had to think that he would be back and that he would see those green eyes again, but what if this were going to be the final time he saw Harry? It was a possibility Severus did not wish to contemplate.

"You'll see him again, Severus," Charlie said as he sat by Harry. "You'll be fine."

"If not, please tell him… please tell him that I regret we had to part this way. He'll be angry with me for not waking him, but it is better this way. He is ill and I do not wish to worry him. Please also tell my mother and daughter that I love them. Merlin willing I will be back soon."

With that said, Severus walked outside and made his way to the Apparition point and then touched the Dark Mark.


	53. Chapter 53

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,870  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifty-Three**

Severus had no idea where he would reappear, or whom he would see when he arrived, and even with all of the charms that Arthur had placed on him, there were no guarantees that they would work. Most of them hadn't been in use when the Dark Lord had been alive. As such, Severus was reliant on what he'd been told, and he had always been one of those persons who preferred to know things that interested him through personal experience rather than the second-hand variety.

For the most part, that aspect of his personality hadn't presented a problem for him, but there had been a few times where second-hand knowledge should have been more than enough to quell Severus's curiosity. It hadn't, and that stubbornness had been the near-fatal flaw that had taken him from mere social outcast to reviled Death Eater.

What was that saying? Curiosity killed the kneazle?

It had nearly killed Severus.

Severus, normally not bothered by what he could not control when it came to his duties as a Death Eater, now found himself nervous and more than somewhat terrified; he did not wish to die, and he was not prepared to leave behind a grieving mother, daughter, and… Harry.

When his feet hit solid ground, Severus opened his eyes and looked around. He did not recognize his surroundings, although he did think he was perhaps in Ireland. That was as much as he could narrow his location, however. One other person was present, but their head was covered, making it impossible for Severus to identify the person who had called him.

"Welcome, Severus. Did you think I had forgotten about you?" asked a laughing man who stood several meters away. He removed his cloak and grinned as he neared Severus.

He looked to be in his thirties and, unlike the Dark Lord, this man was very much human — his short, sandy-blond hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, and well-toned build reminded Severus of the foreign Quidditch players he'd fancied as a young lad.

Ginevra's husband had played Quidditch in France for five years.

"What are your plans, Roberts?" Severus asked, keeping his voice as steady as possible. He'd had plenty of time to rehearse what he would say, but the actuality of the situation, as it always had, proved to be much more nerving than he'd expected. He only hoped that he and Arthur had made the correct decision.

Initially, they had agreed that it might further their cause if Severus played along as if he were willingly going to follow this new Dark Lord, but that option had quickly given way to the truth. This attempt to resurrect a movement that had caused such destruction and death could not be allowed to happen.

"You know very well what my plans are, Severus," Carl Roberts replied as he continued walking toward Severus. "You are going to help me become the next Dark Lord."

Severus opened his mouth to respond, but the curse hit him before he could speak.

* * *

Harry sat beside a crying Magnolia, holding her hands and wiping away her tears. Eileen was outside with Arthur and Charlie, waiting for Severus's return. It had been seven hours since he had left, and Harry was frantic with worry. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he was so busy trying to comfort Magnolia that he hadn't much time to think about what could happen to Severus, but he did know that Severus might never return to them, and that thought terrified him. He looked down at Magnolia and wiped away a tear that had escaped and was about to fall off of her chin. Harry felt so very helpless as those blue eyes, bright with tears, looked up at him.

"My daddy has to come back, Professor Potter. I can't lose him, too."

Harry wanted to tell Magnolia that her father would return safely, but he wouldn't make such a statement because there was a possibility that Severus wouldn't return to them. All he could do was comfort her as she leant her head on his shoulder. "I want him to come back, too, Magnolia." Harry wouldn't allow his emotions to show. He had to be strong for Magnolia and Eileen. "We all want him to return to us," Harry said as he shut his eyes and willed away the emotions that were so near the surface.

"Why did he leave before I got back? He didn't even tell me or his mother goodbye, Professor Potter."

"I know he wanted to wait, sweetie, but he couldn't. He would never do anything to purposely hurt you or your grandmother. He loves the both of you so very much, Magnolia. I know you don't understand, but your father did what he had to do."

"But what if I never see him again? What will happen to me?" she asked as the door opened and Charlie and Eileen entered.

"If my son is unable to return, Magnolia, you will live with me, but I think my son will return. Your father has too much to live for," Eileen finished as she smiled at Harry.

When Magnolia finally fell asleep more than an hour later, Harry lay her down, then stood and walked to the door with Charlie.

"You're really good with her, Harry."

"She's very special to me," Harry said as they entered the sitting room. His foot was beginning to hurt, and he knew he needed to have it re-wrapped. "I need to take my pain potion. It is on my bedside table. Could you get it for me?" Harry asked Charlie as he sat down on the sofa. A few seconds later, he drank the potion and took a sip of the pumpkin juice Charlie had summoned from the kitchen. "Thanks."

The door opened, and Harry could feel the bitter-cold wind as Eileen entered and removed her cloak and gloves.

"Where is Arthur?" Harry asked Eileen as she stood in front of the fire.

"He has gone to the Ministry; he'll be back as soon as he has any information."

With Charlie's help, Harry unwrapped his foot and looked at it as Eileen entered the kitchen to make a fresh pot of tea. Compared to his other foot, it looked horrible, and as Charlie touched it, Harry gasped and shook his head. He tried to move his toes, but it was still too painful. Harry wondered if he would ever be able to move them again.

A few minutes later, Eileen sat down and summoned a new bandage and rewrapped his foot, then helped Harry to situate himself so that he was leaning against the arm of the sofa as his leg rested on two pillows.

"I am going to go check on Magnolia. Charlie, do not let him get up." Eileen stood and turned to Harry. "You should probably try to get some sleep, Harry. It is late."

Once Eileen had exited the room, Harry looked toward the door. "Why haven't we heard anything? Your dad said that he'd be able to track Severus. I want to know where he is, Charlie."

"As do we all, Harry. My father is doing all he can to get Severus back."

"He has to be okay, Charlie. He has to," Harry whispered.

"You care for Severus a great deal, yes?"

"Yes." Harry had given up denying to himself and others that he had feelings for Severus. Unfortunately, it might be too late to tell Severus how he felt, and the thought of that sent Harry into panic whenever he thought about it.

"Does he know how you feel about him?"

"No. Well, possibly he does, but I've never said anything. It's not something that I've been aware of for long."

"If he makes it back from this, you should tell him, Harry."

"I will." Harry closed his eyes.

A loud crash woke him. He sat up, opened his eyes, and looked around the almost completely dark room. Then someone lit the fire and Harry could see. He saw Arthur and Charlie speaking by the fire, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. He coughed so they would look at him.

"Severus is in his room, Harry, but he is unconscious. He…"

Whatever else Arthur said, Harry didn't hear. He wasn't certain how he did it with his bad foot, but he managed to get his crutches and walk to Severus's room in mere seconds. He opened the door and saw that Eileen was tending to her son, who didn't look good at all. His chest was covered in bruises and blood.

"Is he going to be okay?" Harry asked as he walked to the other side of Severus's bed and carefully scooted himself over so that he could touch Severus. He caressed the pale cheek, and ran his fingers through Severus's hair.

"He should be fine, but he is going to be quite sore for some time. One of our neighbors, a Healer, has put him in a deep sleep, but he should wake tomorrow morning."

"Did they catch Carl?"

"He is in Azkaban."

Harry tried to lie down, and with Eileen's help, he did. No matter that he was somewhat self-conscience about Eileen's presence, he wrapped himself around Severus and closed his eyes, needing to be near the man he now knew he loved. He was not exactly comfortable lying in bed with his jeans and jumper still on, but all that mattered was that Severus was going to be okay. He felt as Eileen kissed his forehead, and then heard her leave the room. He found Severus's hands and carefully threaded his fingers through the larger ones.

* * *

Before he opened his eyes, Severus could feel the pain, and it was everywhere. As a young Death Eater he had felt this amount of pain on an almost daily basis and his body had quickly acclimated itself to the repeated torture, but it had been years since he had been through that. The pain was unbearable and he had to will himself not to moan or scream.

He opened his eyes and looked around him. He could see the early morning light peering through the window, and he felt something against his side and then noticed that his hands were being held. He turned his head, wincing as the pain lanced through his chest, and found a sleeping Harry curled up against him. Severus smiled and, as painful as it was, he unthreaded his fingers from Harry's, lifted an arm, and wrapped it around Harry, then pulled him closer. He would not deny how he felt any longer.

He closed his eyes and listened to Harry's heart.

Someone entered the room, but Severus didn't have the energy to open his eyes again to see who it was. Fortunately, he didn't have to — it was his mother — she covered him and Harry, kissed him on the forehead, and left.

There were a million questions running through Severus's mind: had they caught Carl Roberts? Was he injured badly? How had Harry ended up in bed with him? None of the questions needed to be answered immediately, however, so Severus allowed Harry's breathing to lull him back to sleep.


	54. Chapter 54

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LIV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2.210  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. Will be SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifty-Four**

"No, please don't. Please don't. No, please don't. No. No. No. Please don't kill him," Harry pleaded in between sobs. Then someone was shaking him and calling his name. A trembling Harry opened his eyes, his breathing erratic. "Severus?" Harry found that Severus's hands were on either side of his face, caressing his cheeks. The repetitive motion served to calm Harry somewhat, but he was having a difficult time catching his breath. It had been more than a week since that had happened.

"It's me — Severus — I'm here, Harry. I am safe."

Harry's wide eyes nodded as his own hands went up and began touching Severus's face. He was alive. It was Severus. He wasn't dead. Harry must have been dreaming; it had seemed so real. Ginny's husband had been holding his wand to Severus's throat, threatening to kill him. "He was about to kill you. He was laughing at me as he held a wand to your throat."

"It was only a dream, Harry," Severus said, his voice raspy.

"I was so scared. I thought he was going to kill you."

"Harry. Look at me. Look me in the eyes. I am here. I am not going anywhere," Severus said as he wiped away the tears that were now trailing down Harry's face.

Once his breathing returned to normal, Harry realized whose bed he was in and how close to Severus he was lying. The previous few hours came back to him and his eyes grew wide as they took in the bruised and battered chest of Severus, as well as the swelling underneath Severus's eyes that would no doubt turn into bruises. "He hurt you. Are you in much pain?" Harry asked, knowing the answer. Of course Severus was in pain. Harry sat up and faced Severus.

"I've felt worse, but yes, the pain is quite severe. I've been given a pain potion, but it isn't helping much."

"I'll go get your mother so she can give you another one," Harry replied as he began to get off of the bed.

"Not yet," Severus whispered as he halted Harry's movement with a hand on his shoulder. "It has only been two hours since she gave it to me. I'll be okay. If you'll kindly lie back down beside me, I can get the rest I need. Before you had your nightmare, I was resting quite well."

"Sorry," Harry said, sheepishly, as he situated himself so he was once again lying beside Severus. "It's been a while since I've had a nightmare." When Severus's pale hand grasped his, Harry threaded his fingers through Severus's and grinned as their eyes met. "You do know that your mother is never going to allow us to forget this," Harry said as he closed his eyes and burrowed his face as close to Severus as possible without actually touching any of Severus's skin.

"Yes, I am quite aware of that fact, as she proved earlier," said a nervous-sounding Severus. "When she was in here to give me my pain potion, she wore a ridiculously huge grin on her face and told me if I hurt you, I'd have to answer to her. I told her that had I died tonight I would have hurt you. She said that I had lived because it wasn't my time to die yet. She said I had years of life to live with you and my daughter. She's right. I have too much to live for to die right now."

Harry yawned as he thought about what Severus said. He had no doubt that Severus was out of his comfort zone at the moment, but at least he was talking to Harry and not acting as if nothing had changed. "Me too."

"Now let us sleep, Harry; we have our entire lives to talk."

"There's so much I want to say to you, Se—" Harry said, but stopped when a finger touched his lips.

"Our entire lives, Harry. Sshh. I need sleep, and so do you. Things are going to become chaotic when news breaks of what has happened regarding Carl Roberts, and I need my rest to deal with everything, as do you. My mother told me that your foot seems worse, and as was evidenced when you woke up minutes ago, your breathing is labored. You no doubt did more than you should have today."

Yes, Harry knew that he had overdone it, but it had been a wonderful day, or at least it had until Severus had left unexpectedly. "Perhaps I did overdo it when I went outside, but I can't stay indoors forever, Severus," Harry said, feeling a momentary bout of hopelessness. Was he ever going to be normal again?

"I know, Harry. It's just hard seeing you in pain. Enough talk for now. Sleep."

Harry opened his mouth to retort, but shut it at the look Severus gave him.

"I might have decided to allow you to sleep in my bed, Harry, but I am not above sending you away, and do not doubt that I would do such a thing."

* * *

When Severus next woke, sunlight poured into the room, allowing Severus to see that Harry's coloring did not look at all good. He listened to Harry's breathing, and that was off as well, even more than it had been earlier. Severus was about to call his mother when the door to his bedroom opened and his mother entered.

"The charm I placed on Harry to alert me of distress went off."

Severus felt Harry's forehead. "His temperature is higher than I'd prefer it to be, but it does not seem dangerously high. His breathing, however, has me worried. Poppy told me this could happen." At his mother's questioning look, Severus shook his head. He hadn't meant to voice that last thought. "I believe that Harry has fluid in his lungs. Poppy and I have discussed this, and we discussed the treatments for Harry if this happened. I think that he should be fine as long as he is careful and as long as I keep a close watch on him. I made a potion for this eventuality. Could you get a vial of it for me? It is in the red vials on the first shelf in my workroom."

After his mother left, Severus carefully sat up so he could have easier access to Harry. Severus was still in pain, but he ignored it as he waved his wand over Harry. As he had feared, there was fluid in Harry lungs. When his mother returned with a vial of the potion, Severus woke Harry and told him to swallow the potion.

"So sleepy," Harry said, his eyelids fluttering as Severus held his head up.

Severus lay him back down and covered him. "Go back to sleep, love."

Harry was asleep within minutes, and the change because of the potion was immediately evident. Harry's breathing returned to normal, and his skin's palor changed so that it was merely pale.

"Are you certain that he is going to be okay, Severus?" asked his mother as she looked nervously at Harry.

"No, Mother, I am not at all certain, but his condition can be managed. If he gets any worse, I will contact Poppy."

"How are you feeling? You don't look at all well, Severus."

"I feel just as you say I look, Mother, but my concern is Harry. Now that he is sleeping peacefully, I shall join him. Rest is what I need."

"Harry is important to all of us, Severus, but do not forget that you have a daughter. She needs her father, so you need to take care of yourself."

As Severus, with his mother's help, got comfortable, he nodded. "I don't want Magnolia to ever have to worry about me not being here for her. I will be fine, and I will make certain that I take care of myself. With you, I know I am in good hands."

"I love you, Severus."

"I love you, too, Mother."

"Get some sleep now. Magnolia and I are going into the village to do some shopping. Charlie is here; he refuses to leave until he knows you are able to care for Harry properly."

If it were any other male that had shown such an interest in Harry, Severus might be jealous, but it was different with Charlie Weasley. Severus had always known that Harry was close to the family of red-heads, but he hadn't realized how important Harry was to them. Knowing that so many people cared for Harry gave Severus great comfort.

"Thank him for me."

"I will. Now you get some sleep."

Severus carefully wrapped his arms around Harry and closed his eyes.

"The two of you look perfect together, Severus," said his mother before she kissed him on the forehead.

* * *

Harry opened his eyes and was disappointed to see that he was in his bed, and not in Severus's, then fear overtook him. Was Severus worse now? What if something had happened to him? Harry found his crutches beside his bed and carefully stood. It took him a while to make his way to the stairs, but when he reached them he heard voices from the sitting room on the ground floor. He could see Magnolia, and he heard Eileen, but he neither saw nor heard Severus. "Eileen?" Harry called out, hoping his voice would be heard.

"Professor Potter! You're awake! You've been asleep all day," Magnolia said as her grandmother made her way up the stairs.

"How are you feeling, Harry?" asked Eileen.

"I am fine. Where is Severus?" Harry was now frantic with worry.

"He is asleep in his room. He is fine. Charlie, will you please help Harry downstairs?"

When Harry was comfortably on the sofa, Magnolia sat down beside him.

"Daddy Severus is going to be okay. He was hurt, but not too badly.

"Magnolia, dear, why don't you go check on the lamb," said Eileen as she returned from checking on Severus. She sat down beside Harry as Magnolia and Charlie entered the kitchen.

"Is Severus really going to be okay, Eileen?"

"He is. Carl Roberts underestimated the Ministry it seems. He threw a fair few curses at Severus, but fortunately for us, Carl grabbed Severus and found himself inside an Azkaban cell before any permanent damage could be done to Severus."

"Why was I moved? I fell asleep beside Severus."

"He woke up moaning because of the pain and we did not want him to wake you so I asked Charlie to take you to your room," Eileen repled.

That made sense, but Harry wished they would have left him with Severus; he had been sleeping so well… well, other than the nightmare, that is. But, hadn't he woken again in order to take a potion? He wasn't certain about that, but he thought he remembered Eileen standing by Severus's bed. He had taken all of his usual potions at the regular time, so what other potion would he have been given? "Did you give me a potion?"

"I did. Your breathing was somewhat labored. Severus said he had made you a new potion, so we gave you that. Severus said you improved almost instantaneously."

Another potion to add to the other two he was already taking. Harry didn't know if he'd be taking them for the remainder of his life, but he had an idea that he would. Oh well, if the potions kept him alive and functioning as he should, then he'd gladly take them. "What time is it?"

"It is half-four on Boxing Day."

"Has Severus been sleeping all day?"

"He has."

All Harry wanted to do was go lie with Severus, and he knew Eileen was probably chomping at the bit to ask him about him and Severus. "What is Charlie doing here?" As soon as he asked, he saw Eileen's expression change from a frown to a grin.

"I am glad you asked; it almost slipped my mind to tell you that Ginny is awake and is talking; she seems to be normal, but they are watching her carefully."

A heavy weight lifted from Harry, and it was not merely metaphorical; he actually felt himself lighten. He had been so worried about Ginny, and had almost resigned himself to the idea that she would never be the same again. "I want to go see her."

"We thought you would, but that won't happen for a few more days. Charlie will take you early next week. He is here until Severus is well enough to take care of you."

In the past, such a comment would have made Harry frown; he absolutely hated it when others had to rearrange their lives to accommodate his, but now he understood that it was just another facet of life. He would do anything possible to help Severus, and he knew that the Weasley family would do the same for him. "I want to go sit with Severus, Eileen."

"That will work out well. Magnolia and I have been preparing our Christmas meal since we were unable to do so yesterday. It will be ready in half an hour, so you can sit with Severus until then."


	55. Chapter 55

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LV  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,665  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifty-Five**

Harry's eyes studied the intricate patterns that had been carved into the wooden frame that housed the portrait of Eileen and her parents, then his gaze traveled to the bottom left corner of the portrait, where he had recently discovered a small dog — a corgi — sleeping on a rug. The dog looked so real, and at one time, had been, but now, it, as well as its human owners were, was merely a memory of an earlier time.

Normally, a portrait such as this probably wouldn't have held Harry's imagination captive as this one had, but unlike most portraits in the wizarding world, this one was not magical, and Harry wondered why. He wished he were able to speak to Eileen's parents, but he wondered how a portrait of a living person would work. Certainly, even if it were a magical portrait, Eileen, as a little girl, would not be able to speak in the portrait. Harry decided to do some research on magical portraits.

Hearing the door from the kitchen open, Harry turned away from the portrait and grinned when Eileen entered the sitting room and sat beside him.

"How is your foot, Harry?"

"It's okay; it hurts, but that's nothing new. Did Magnolia go to bed already?"

"Yes. Severus told her she had to go to bed early if she wanted to go flying with Charlie in the morning. So what has you so quiet? Severus and I are discussing the merits of teaching our children about Muggles, and we wondered what you were doing out here."

"Just been thinking," Harry replied. It wasn't as if he could do much else while most of his movements were restricted.

"You do a lot of that out here looking at that portrait of my parents and me. You aren't the first person to be captivated by it."

Harry looked at the portrait and decided to ask about it. "Why don't your parents move and talk?"

"My father told me that when he was a child, he spent hours in his grandparents' home talking to his great grandfather's portrait. He didn't want his children or grandchildren to do the same with him and his wife. He said that people need to live life in the present and not in the past. He had the portrait done by a Muggle, and I can remember my mother not being too happy about that. She was not anti-Muggle, but she did believe that since we were wizards, we should utilize the wizard way of life in everything we did."

A few minutes later, Eileen left Harry to ponder what she had told him about the portrait. He thought he could understand why her father had thought the way he had. Harry knew from experience how a portrait of a person could become a crutch for someone, much like the crutches Harry had to use on a daily basis. Dumbledore had been that crutch for Harry — he had always been more than happy to give Harry advice, and Harry had sought it, probably more than he should have.

His musings were halted when a frowning Severus exited the kitchen, limping, and Harry wanted so badly to make a comment about how Severus should have listened to his mother — Eileen had pleaded with him to remain in bed, but he had insisted on eating Christmas dinner with his family, and, as usual, he had gotten his way — Harry kept his mouth shut, however, because Severus was not one to be messed with on a good day, and this was most definitely not a good day.

"How are you feeling, Severus? You're walking better now," Harry said, trying to sound cheerful. Severus sat down and carefully lifted Harry's bandaged foot, then resettled it on his lap. Harry grinned.

"I think perhaps my mother was correct, Harry — not that she'll be made aware of that fact," Severus said, as he looked at Harry with that look that he was so good at. "I am not quite ready to be up and around, much like you. Don't we make a pair? Both of us invalids."

Was that Severus's attempt at levity? It needed work, but Harry was impressed. "Do you want Charlie to help you to your bed? He is reading in the other room."

"I can manage to get into bed myself, Harry, and I shall be doing so soon, but I wanted to speak with you first," Severus said, his voice serious, or more serious than usual.

Uh-oh. Harry had known this was coming. Thus far, Severus had been heavily medicated, but he hadn't had any pain medication in a few hours, and Harry knew Severus was thinking clearly now, and that he had not been thinking as clearly earlier. Pity, that. "About?" he asked, trying not to show any nervousness.

"About me waking up and finding you curled up against my side, holding my hands."

"Oh, that." Harry felt himself beginning to tremble, but forced himself to stop. He was not a timid boy; he was a fully-grown wizard who would not shy away from this... from Severus.

"Yes, that. Would you mind telling me what possessed you to do such a thing?" Severus lifted Harry's foot and began examining the area around the perimeter of the bandage.

"You scared the bloody hell out of me, Severus. When I woke up and you were gone, you can't imagine what I felt. Yes, I know you had to go and I know that you had no choice, but Merlin, Severus, had anything happened to you… When I woke up and was told you were alive, albeit injured, I was relieved that Magnolia and your mother still had their father and son, happy that you hadn't been killed, and grateful that you had not been taken from me, but I was also terrified that you would still die. After everything else that I have been through, I don't think I could handle it if anything happened to you. I didn't want to leave your side. Maybe I shouldn't have done what I did, but what's done is done, yeah?" Harry gave Severus a hopeful grin.

"Yes, what is done is done, but now I need to ask you a few questions and I want you to be honest with me, Harry. Completely honest."

All Harry could do was nod.

"First, are you looking for a father-figure?"

A father-figure? Harry shook his head. "No, Severus. I don't have a father; I haven't had one since I was fifteen-months old. I don't want another father."

A curt nod was Severus's response. "Second question: Are you looking for a family?" Severus asked, his voice softer than it had been, but still exuding a sense of seriousness.

How should Harry answer this? Yes, he wanted a family — he longed for a family of his own, and he knew Severus was aware of that fact. However, he was not trying to become a member of a family by using Severus. Had he wanted to use someone for a family, he could have used Ginny or one of her brothers long ago. "I wish to someday have a family, Severus; there isn't much else that is more important than that to me. But no, I am not looking for a family." He left the _I_ _want to be with you_ unsaid.

Another curt nod. "Do you wish to enter into a relationship with me or were you simply concerned with my welfare?"

"The former," Harry said as he looked into Severus's eyes, not breaking the contact. "I care very much about your welfare, Severus, but that is not the only reason I took the initiative and fell asleep in your bed. I have tried valiantly over the past few days to deny what I feel, but I can't, and I won't any longer." Harry was beginning to feel apprehensive. What if Severus told him that this couldn't happen?

"And please tell me what this feeling is that you have so valiantly tried to deny, Harry?"

"You're going to make me say this?" Harry asked.

"Oh yes. If you do not, then this conversation is over."

Harry swallowed. Why was Severus being so cross with him? What about how Severus felt? Shouldn't he have to say what he felt? "I think I could be falling in love with you, Severus. I don't know for certain, but that is how I feel."

"Were you in love with Brian?"

"Yes," Harry said as he looked down at his lap. Why did Severus have to bring up Brian?

"Do you still love him?"

Harry looked up at Severus, knowing that his face reflected the hurt he was feeling. "Do you still love my mother, Lucius, and Narcissa? I'll always love Brian, Severus. But the difference now is that I'm not in love with him. It's you I want now. The question is: do you want me?" Harry held his breath, but then let it out when Charlie entered the room.

"Severus, do you need any help to your room?"

"No, but Harry does."

A few minutes later, as Charlie helped Harry lie down and get comfortable, Harry couldn't concentrate on anything other than Severus, who was lying on the other side of the bed. Harry had hoped to talk to Severus about their feelings, but he had never ever expected that Severus would allow Harry back in his bed anytime soon. When Charlie finally left, Harry turned towards Severus, whose eyes were closed. No. They needed to talk. Severus couldn't go to sleep yet.

"I do," said Severus, a small grin on his face. His eyes remained closed.

Harry didn't have to ask what the _I_ _do_ was in response to. He knew that he had to look ridiculous with the huge grin that had replaced the frown — thank Merlin Severus's eyes remained closed. "You do?"

"I do. Now go to sleep; we can talk more in the morning."


	56. Chapter 56

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LVI  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,730  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifty-Six**

Every bone, each muscle, and all of the joints in Severus's body ached as he reluctantly extricated himself from his warm bed, and each twist and turn reminded him that he had narrowly escaped death not even two days earlier. As he retrieved his dressing gown from the end of the bed, his gaze fell upon Harry, who looked to be sleeping peacefully. He was curled around the place where Severus had been moments earlier. Severus wished he were still in the bed beside Harry, and as soon as his daughter and Charlie left to go flying, he would be. With one final look at Harry, he exited his room and walked through the short passage that connected his room to the sitting room.

"Daddy Severus, what are you doing up? You don't look so good," Magnolia said as she walked toward him.

Anyone else would have received a rather disparaging retort for saying such a thing; his daughter merely received a weak glare. "I don't feel _so good_, either, but I wanted to see you and Charlie before you left." Severus made his way to a chair by the fire and sat down, then looked at Charlie. "Charlie," Severus said, his voice now serious and threatening, as only Severus and his voice could be when he meant business, "I do not want my daughter flying very high. I trust you, but accidents happen and, at the moment, we do not need any other injuries."

"We won't be flying high at all, Severus, and we won't be gone long. We will be back by eleven."

Severus gave a curt nod then looked at his daughter to check that she was dressed properly for the cold weather — of course, she was. "Listen to Mr. Weasley, Magnolia. I know how much you like to fly, but you are in an unfamiliar place, and that is a new broom you are holding. Until you know how well it and you work together, I do not want you trying anything risky, and the broom will reveal what you have done, so do not think you can get away with anything." His daughter's frown elicited a slight grin from him. "I was not born yesterday, Magnolia, and I was once your age, believe it or not. I put my mother through quite a traumatic few years when I was around your age. As such, any child of mine will be monitored when they fly, no exceptions. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," replied a not-so-happy looking Magnolia. "Is Professor Potter feeling any better?"

Glad to have put the broom business to rest, Severus looked toward the passage that led to his bedroom. "He has yet to awaken, but I think he will be feeling much better this morning," Severus replied through slightly clinched teeth as a pain shot through his back. He looked at Charlie and motioned with his head toward the door. He didn't wish his daughter to see him in any more pain than she already had.

"Okay, we should go, Magnolia," Charlie said as he stood and walked to the door and grabbed his broom and two of the cloaks from the cupboard where everyone kept their winter apparel. "I'll call when we are on our way back, Severus."

"Bye, Daddy Severus," Magnolia said as she joined Charlie by the door and took her cloak from him.

Severus nodded and watched his daughter and Charlie leave, but he wanted to tell her she couldn't go. It was such a disconcerting feeling — never wanting to let his daughter out of his sight, but he knew he would have to get used to it. His mother assured him it was a normal reaction, and had said that she still worried about Severus. This parent business was not for the faint of heart, and it terrified Severus, yet it also gave him such an immense sense of pride. He had helped to create this wonderful person.

Standing, he made his way back to his bedroom and, after moving Harry, who had claimed Severus's side of the bed in his absence, climbed back into bed, mindful of his back, which continued to spasm. He didn't wish to take any further pain medication, but if the severe pain persisted, he would have no choice.

Once he was lying comfortably next to Harry, Severus decided that he was only getting out of his bed for the remainder of the day if he absolutely had to. His mother would be in soon to give Harry his potions, and she would no doubt also bring breakfast for them and try to get Harry to eat, which was no easy feat.

Thinking about food made Severus hungry, but he would wait for his mother; he was serious about not getting out of bed. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

"Severus?"

Severus opened his eyes and watched as his mother sat beside him on the bed. She held out a potion and he reluctantly took it and downed the contents. How his mother knew what he needed when he needed it — he guessed it was the same way he knew when his daughter wasn't feeling well — it was called being a parent.

"Charlie told me you looked to be getting worse rather than better."

Severus nodded. "He read me well, but I will be fine with rest," Severus said, dismissively. He looked over at Harry. "I wish we didn't have to wake him." Severus moved fringe away from Harry's forehead.

"I wish the same, Severus, but we have no choice. After I give him his potions, the two of you need to eat. I have prepared a light breakfast for Harry, and your usual Boxing Day fry up that you missed yesterday morning."

Severus looked at the two trays that were set on a table in the corner of the room, and smiled in anticipation. His schedule at Hogwarts rarely allowed him the opportunity to have a large breakfast, and the fact that his mother had been disguised as another person for so long had meant that she hadn't been able to do a proper fry up, on Boxing Day, in years.

He forced himself to look away from the food, then leaned over so that his mouth was near Harry's ear. "Harry, you need to wake up. It is time to take your potions." The only response was a slight groan and muffled _no_, or that is what it sounded like. "Yes. You need to take them now. Come on, Harry. The sooner you take them, the sooner you can go back to sleep." Normally, Severus would have shaken him by the shoulders, but Harry's collarbone had been fractured, and even as it had healed quite a bit, Severus refrained from possibly aggravating it.

Green eyes opened. "If you were not you, Severus, I'd be tempted to hex you. I was sleeping good," Harry said as he sat up and took the vials that Eileen handed him. After drinking the potions, he handed them back and began to lie down again.

"Oh no you don't, Harry," Eileen said as she walked over and retrieved his tray from the table and brought it to the bed. "You need to eat breakfast. There is barely enough here to feed a baby, so I expect you to eat it all. If you wish to go back to sleep, eat."

A glare made Severus grin. It was rather fun watching his mother mothering someone other than him.

"I need to use the loo first, then I'll eat, then I'll go back to sleep," Harry said as he grabbed his crutches.

"Let me help you," said Eileen as she stood.

Harry looked at her and shook his head. "I am not an invalid. I can do this myself. You and Severus and Charlie treat me as if I can't do anything for myself. Poppy told me I could get up the day after Christmas, and it is two days after Christmas." It took a few minutes, but he finally stood, then walked to the door and left the room.

Eileen began to follow, but Severus cleared his throat and shook his head. "Let him do this by himself, Mother. He is correct; we have been coddling him as if he were a baby, and he is not. He is perfectly capable of doing for himself… other than bathing or showering," Severus added as his mother opened her mouth to no doubt say the same. "Yes, he overexerted himself on Christmas, and yesterday was not a good day for him because of me, but there is no reason why we should treat him as if he cannot do anything for himself."

Harry entered before his mother could respond, but she nodded and turned to go. "I will come back later to retrieve your trays."

After his mother left, Severus began eating, and looked over to see if Harry were doing the same — he wasn't. "You mightn't be an invalid, Harry, but if you continue to refrain from eating, you will be too weak to do anything, then you will not have a choice about whether or not my mother, Charlie, or I help you. Is that what you wish to have happen?"

Harry took a bite of toast, and after swallowing, looked at Severus. "No, that is not what I wish to happen." Then he took another bite.

Severus smirked in satisfaction. He had always known how to get what he wanted. "I do not think I shall be getting out of bed anytime soon, but last night my mother mentioned that she wanted to work in our garden today. It is rather neglected at the moment, but there is an area out there to sit and read, or just to think if you want to get some fresh air."

Harry took another bite of toast and took a sip of his pumpkin juice. "Yeah, I think I'd like that. May I ask you a question?" Harry asked before taking another bite of toast.

"You may," replied a curious Severus before he took a bite of sausage.

"Why were you cross with me last night when you were questioning me about how I felt about you and Brian?"

"Cross? I was not cross at all with you, Harry. I merely needed to know how serious you were, and what your feelings were. You have talked about Brian on occasion and I am aware of how close the two of you were. It would surprise me if you did not still love him, and I just needed to hear how you felt about him. No one from my past is still alive, so it matters little whether or not I still love them or not."

"Oh," Harry said as he looked down at his plate, "I hadn't thought about that."

Obviously. "I do not trust easily, Harry, and you are aware of that. As much as I care for you, I refuse to become involved with anyone who might decide after a year or so that they want to be with someone else."

There were many ways Harry could respond to such a statement, but he decided on the safest and least likely to provoke a prolonged conversation about the future. "My prospects are few, Severus. You have nothing to worry about regarding me wishing to be with someone else. You are the only person I want to be with. If you are going to worry about a future with me, you might need to be more worried about my health than my love life. It's going to be you who gets hurt if something happens to me."

Severus had just taken a bite of his egg, but found that he had lost his appetite. He swallowed it, then set down his fork. "You will improve, Harry."

"And you know this how?" Harry finished off the first piece of toast and washed it down with pumpkin juice.

"I just do," Severus said, but he refused to look at Harry.

"I am aware of what my chances are, and I know they are good, Severus. I am a wizard; I have always been healthy, and I have a good family history. However, I don't have a fraction of the energy I had before I was kidnapped; I am always tired; I want so badly to go outside and fly and go see my friends and play with my godchildren. There is so much I want to do, Severus, but I can't, and I don't know if I ever will be able to again. So I might be like this for the remainder of my life, which would be okay as long as I can spend it with you, but you have to know that I might not ma—"

Severus had heard enough. He reached out with a hand and touched Harry on the chin. He looked into those green eyes that had so captivated him, although he had no idea what he was searching for. All he knew was that he couldn't listen to Harry speak of dying. Then he leaned toward Harry and kissed him on his lips. Their lips barely touched, but Severus knew that Harry was touching his very soul.

Reluctantly, he pulled back after only a few seconds. He hadn't planned to kiss Harry yet; he had wanted to wait for the perfect moment. Harry looked surprised as he touched his lips with his right hand, and a huge grin overtook his face. Then he leaned in and kissed Severus.

It was soft; it was Harry kissing him; it was what Severus had searched for and had thought he would never find; it was possibly beyond even his ability to comprehend how completely his body and mind needed and wanted Harry in every way.

It was… perfect.

Severus kissed Harry back and almost allowed himself to get lost in the moment; instead, he reluctantly pulled away.

"I love you, Harry," Severus said as he looked into Harry's eyes. He felt himself beginning to tremble. He couldn't believe what he had said, but he had meant it. He waited for a response, hoping it wasn't a negative one. Harry grinned and let out a small laugh, which didn't exactly reassure Severus; in fact, it rather annoyed and upset him. "Please humor me and inform me what it is that is so funny about me telling you that I love you?"

"Oh, nothing at all," Harry replied, his expression and voice now decidedly different. "I was just thinking of that first day of first year when you asked me all those questions and I couldn't answer them. You looked at me as if I were a troll. Now here you are telling me that you love me. We've come a long way, I'd say."

"Indeed." Severus allowed a small grin, but still felt far more nervous than he wished to. He had expected Harry to say the same to him.

"We had our pity kisses, Severus, now I want a real kiss… please?" Harry added, his voice shrill.

Severus retrieved his wand, pointed it at his and Harry's trays, and sent them back to the table in the corner. "As you wish, but if you do not mind, I would rather do this lying down; it is more comfortable, and my back would thank me."

Once they were both lying comfortably on their sides, Harry wrapped in Severus's arms, Severus leaned in and began kissing Harry, who fit so perfectly in his arms. He never wanted to let go of him.

Neither of them were up to doing anything much, and the thought of his mother walking in on them was not all appealing, therefore Severus was careful to keep the kiss as innocent as possible, which wasn't at all easy as Harry continued to let out small moans in between kisses. Then Harry sucked on Severus's tongue and Severus knew he had to stop. Reluctantly he pulled away and smiled at Harry, whose eyes were closed.

"Don't stop, Severus."

"We must, Harry. As much as I need you, I need rest." As if his body agreed with that assessment, Severus yawned. A few seconds later his head found the pillow and he closed his eyes. Then he felt Harry kiss him on his forehead.

"I love you too, Severus."


	57. Chapter 57

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LVII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,280  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifty-Seven**

Harry entered the ward and wished that he weren't alone as he looked around the large room. Charlie had gone to the Ministry to see what was going on with Carl, and had said he'd be back as soon as he could. Harry felt extremely uneasy; he had never been comfortable around people who were ill. All of the patients, including Ginny, were asleep, and Molly stood by one of the windows looking out at a dreary view of London, but no other Weasleys were present. Harry cleared his throat to alert Ron's mum of his presence, and when she turned around, Harry was relieved to see her smile.

"Harry, I'm so glad you came," she said, in a whisper, as she walked over and hugged him. "Ginny will be so happy to see you."

Harry hugged her back. "Hi, Mrs. Weasley."

"Harry, it has been ten years since I told you you should call me Molly."

"I know, and I try, Molly, but it just doesn't seem right, but I'll try, I promise. How is Ginny?" Harry again looked around the ward. There was such a sense of sadness that pervaded it, and Harry wondered if others experienced the same feelings.

"She is doing wonderfully. Her memory of the immediate past has not returned, but she seems to know everything that happened two years ago and before that. Arthur says it would be fine with him if she never remembered the last two years. I have to agree, but I know Ginny wants to remember everything."

"So everything is okay with her other than her memory?" Harry asked as he glanced toward the bed again.

"For the most part, yes. She gets a bit confused at times, and she has been crying a lot, but the healers say that is normal for someone who has been through what she has. The kids each take turns staying the night with her, and I've been here every day."

"Can she talk?" The image of Ginny from Harry's previous visit wouldn't leave him; she had stared through him, and it had been such an eerie experience.

"She can, but she doesn't, at least not to me. Bill and George seem to be the ones who can get her to talk the most. Again, the healers say this is normal and that all of her scans show that she is fine and will eventually begin to talk as she did before. You know, Harry? When Fred died, I thought my world had ended. A mother who has to bury her child, buries a piece of her heart with them. I didn't think there was a sorrow worse than the one I felt then, but when I had to sit by my daughter, with the knowledge that she might never wake, and that if she did wake, she might be little more than a body who breathes, it broke me. My little girl was so close, yet so far away. Now it seems that she is coming back to us, and if she decided to never utter another word to me, I would be fine with that. She is alive, and she is normal. Everything else is extra."

Harry nodded, feeling a bit awkward at such a display of emotion from Mrs. Weasley.

"So, Harry, dear, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Harry replied, not wanting to talk about his health, but he knew Ron's mum wouldn't let it go. Harry was like a son to her, and she knew he wasn't doing well.

"If you ever need to talk, Harry, you can always talk to me… about anything."

Harry nodded and swallowed, and nearly sighed in relief when he heard a small voice coming from the bed. He turned around and walked to the other side of the bed and sat down in the chair after removing a book that someone had set there. He smiled and looked at Ginny, whose eyes were open, and looking at him. "Hi, Gin," Harry said, trying to sound cheerful. The smile that Harry saw on Ginny's face made him smile.

"Harry," Ginny said, in not much more than a whisper.

"It's good to see you, Gin."

"Where is Severus?" she asked in her regular voice, only the slightest bit of raspiness audible.

Harry frowned and looked around. Molly shook her head. What did Ginny mean? She couldn't possibly know about them. Harry returned his gaze to Ginny. Of all the people for Ginny to ask about, Severus would have been the last person Harry would have expected. "Severus is not here, Ginny. Do you want to talk to him?" he asked, not at all certain about what he should say. Severus had been trying to make a potion to help her, but as far as Harry knew, Severus hadn't had any luck, and then he had been injured. Harry was about to ask Ginny another question when she smiled, and it wasn't merely a small smile like the ones Harry was accustomed to seeing from Ginny — it was a huge grin. Harry again looked at Molly, who was now standing at the foot of the bed.

"You and Severus are happy?" Ginny asked, as if it were a part of every day conversation.

Harry had no idea what to say. How did she know? "Yes, we are. How do you know, Ginny?" Harry asked as he looked back at Ginny.

"I saw the two of you the other day when you came to see me. The way he looked at you — I knew that he was the one that was meant to be with you. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't." Ginny then turned her head and looked at her mother. "Hi, Mum."

Harry backed up against the wall as Molly moved to where he had been standing, then Charlie entered the ward. Harry motioned for him to join him by the window, then told him what Ginny had said and asked.

"And here I was worried that she would be upset when she found out about the two of you," Charlie replied as he looked out of the window.

"Yeah, I was a bit concerned that she might still think we were together. That would've been awkward."

"Yeah. So, how is it with Severus? I've wanted to ask since yesterday, but didn't want to pry, and you never look as if you're in the mood to talk when I'm helping you get in and out of the shower."

"Would you like it if someone else had to help you on a daily basis, and help in a way that meant they would see you naked? When you're helping me into the shower, Charlie, I think my only thoughts are: how many more people are going to see me naked? It's not at all anything I am comfortable with, so yeah, that's not the best time for me to have small talk." As soon as he finished speaking, Harry could tell that Charlie had been hurt by his words, and he felt bad. He hadn't meant to sound so ungrateful. If it weren't for Charlie, Harry had no idea what he'd do while Severus was recovering. "I'm sorry. You've helped me so much, Charlie, and here I am being ungrateful."

"Don't be sorry, Harry. I know it can't be easy for you, and I'm sorry for prying. You and Severus are none of my business, and I really have no desire to hear about how good he is at buggering." Charlie then grinned and shook his head.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I'd say he is probably quite proficient at the art of buggering, but we haven't done that yet so I don't know. As I was leaving this morning, he did tell me that he can't wait to make me scream. I can't either." Harry laughed at the horrified look on Charlie's face.

"Too much information, there, Harry. Snape having his cock inside of my little brother's best mate… well, it's a bit weird."

"Not weird at all, Charlie, and you do forget that I'm not a normal wizard. I am Harry Potter, so I can't settle for a mere normal wizard, can I?" Harry asked, cheekily.

"Too true: our little Harry is anything but normal," Charlie said as he winked when Harry glared. "No one other than Snape would do, I guess. Well, since you and he are together, what are you waiting for? If I had a bloke like him in my bed, I'd—"

"Yeah, we all know what you would do, Charlie, but Severus was almost killed the other day. I don't think he is in any condition to either bugger or be buggered yet. I'm in no hurry. I just want him to be okay. What did you find out about Carl?" Harry asked, wanting very much to change the topic of conversation.

Charlie sighed and didn't look at all happy. "I knew you were going to ask about that. I am afraid you're not going to like what I have to tell you, Harry. Roberts seems to be immune to Veritaserum. Dad and Kingsley have tried everything they can think of, but nothing works. He isn't talking."

Harry had been afraid of this. Things had been going a bit too effortlessly, and Harry'd known that something would happen to thwart their forward progress. "So there could be others who are working with him, and we have no way of knowing who they are." Harry didn't look forward to telling this to Severus.

"Yep, that seems to be the situation, but from everything Dad has found, it seems that Carl was working alone."

"I don't believe that for a minute, Charlie, and I know you, your dad and everyone else doesn't either. Not when Lucius was behind this. And don't forget about Steele."

"Yeah, well, the Ministry is doing all they can. Unfortunately, we might have to wait for someone to make a move."

"Yeah, that's what scares me, Charlie. Severus is going to be who they want. I won't lose him."

"Harry?" Ginny called out.

Harry took a deep breath and walked to Ginny's bed, careful to mask the disconcerting feelings that now overwhelmed him. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I am going to kip, so I might not be awake when you leave. Thank you for coming to see me."

A few minutes later, Charlie and Harry returned to the Prince home, and Harry's first stop was Severus's bedroom. Harry crawled into the bed and kissed a sleeping Severus. "Time for your potion." There was no response, so Harry kissed him again, and was startled when the mouth he was kissing opened and began kissing him back. Harry hadn't meant to initiate a kiss, but the further his tongue was sucked into Severus's mouth, the less guilty he felt. Then he was pushed away, and frowned as Severus opened his eyes.

"Give me your hand, Harry," said a barely awake Severus.

Harry did as asked, and then closed his eyes when his hand was placed around Severus's cock, which was not quite erect, but was well on its way to being so. Severus squeezed once, then removed his and Harry's hands.

"This is what you do to me when you kiss me, Harry. As much as I wish to continue this, we can't. Tomorrow my back should be better."

"Sorry," Harry said as he tried to look the part. "I didn't intend on giving you an erection; I merely wished to wake you so you could take your potion."

Severus took the vial, downed the contents, then handed the empty vial back to Harry. "How is Ginevra?"

"Good. She talked to me, and even asked where you were. It was a bit weird; she said she knew we would get together. She saw us talking the other day when we were at St. Mungo's."

"Interesting. So she should make a full recovery?"

"Probably not completely, no. She has no memory of the past two years, and she has a bit of trouble processing information, but it's a miracle she has recovered as she has."

"Indeed, and there are worse things than not remembering not-so-good memories. It is probably best that Givenva's time with Roberts is beyond her reach. Did you hear any news of Roberts?"

"Yeah, I did." Harry then told Severus what Charlie had told him, and Severus merely sighed, then turned over onto his stomach and let out a small groan, which meant that Severus was in pain. "I was hoping the potion would work," Harry said as he began to rub Severus's lower back area and tried to remember the areas Severus had requested Harry massage when his back had spasmed earlier in the day.

"The potion is working, Harry. Over the years I have suffered vast amounts of trauma to my body, and it has changed the way my body heals. Now, me being older, injuries take even longer to heal. It is a fact of life I must live with. Oh yes, can you massage that area a bit more. Yes. That's it. If you could continue massaging that area non-stop, Harry, I'd be forever grateful."

"You're quite certain that my hands will not give you an erection?" Harry asked as he leaned over Severus and whispered in his ear.

"Unless your hands take a detour south, I think I'm safe," Severus said as he closed his eyes. "I think I want to sleep now. If I am feeling well enough tomorrow, I would like you to join me when I inform my daughter that her father is now seeing _The Chosen One_."


	58. Chapter 58

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LVIII  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 1,870  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifty-Eight**

A rather brisk breeze replaced the relative calm of minutes earlier, and Harry found it difficult to write as the wind began blowing the page opposite into the one he was reading and taking notes on. He sighed as he looked up into the sky. Ominous large thunderheads threatened, and rain would certainly not be far behind. He marked his place with his notes, closed the potions book and ink-well, then stood and looked around him. It was amazing how Eileen and Charlie had transformed the large backyard in less than three days from an overgrown mini-forest (Magnolia's description) to the variegated and redolent garden (Severus's description) that Harry now looked at.

As he looked behind him and watched Eileen gather her garden tools, Harry decided that he was going to have a garden at his new home in Bristol; it would be the perfect addition to add in the large back yard, and it would be perfect for cultivating potion ingredients.

"Leave it to the weather to ruin a perfectly beautiful day," Eileen said as she sat down in the chair beside the one Harry had been sitting in. "I have yet to get to the _Helleborus Argutifolius_, which I had hoped to get to today. It will cease to bloom in a few weeks and I would like to enjoy it for a few days before we have to return to Hogwarts on the tenth."

Harry started to ask a question about the plant she had mentioned, but stopped when he felt the first drops of rain. He retrieved his book and other items he had brought outside with him and began walking towards the door.

"Did you get any work done, or were you reading?" Eileen asked as she joined him.

"I managed to complete the lesson plans for January, so I'd say that's a good day's work."

"Yes, it is. Tell me, Harry, are you disappointed that you won't be teaching potions?"

Harry looked at Eileen, wondering why she had asked such a question, but nodded. "Yeah, I guess I am a bit disappinted, but I'd do anything for your son, and teaching Defense won't be a hardship at all."

"You don't think that Severus's teaching Potions will put any distance between the two of you, do you?"

Oh… now Harry understood this line of questioning. Eileen was worried about her son, which Harry understood. "No, never. I have a passion for potions that your son gave me, and I have a passion for Defense Against the Dark Arts that Remus Lupin gave me. Both subjects are infinitely interesting, but they are just that — subjects. I love your son. I love him very much, Eileen. Whatever I teach and whatever he teaches — that is what we do during the day. I could teach History of Magic and be perfectly happy if I had your son to come home to at night." And it was the truth, although, Harry fervently hoped he'd never have to resort to taking over for Binns.

"And you are certain that you wish to be with Severus forever?"

This talk of forever made Harry uncomfortable, but he had no intention of ever leaving Severus for someone else. "I am, Eileen. I don't want anyone else; I only want Severus."

"Now that Miss Weasley is no longer going to be married, there is no chance of the two of you getting back together?"

"No. She and I were over long ago, and she knows that I prefer wizards. I'll always love her, and I have said this to Severus. He wasn't aware that we were almost engaged, but I told him about that, and I explained to him that she would always be important to me, but that we would only ever be friends. He said he was perfectly fine with that and that he trusted me. I would never do anything to take that trust away, Eileen."

"I don't think you would ever do that, Harry; I just had to ask. My son's happiness is paramount, and as his mother, I will always want what is best for him. I know that I have said this many times, but I couldn't be happier for the two of you. I had hoped that the two of you would eventually see what I did, and it is so very gratifying to see that you have finally done so."

Eileen went upstairs, and Harry continued into the sitting room where Severus was seated, reading a book. "Good book?" Harry asked as he set down his book and other items on the coffee table, then sat down beside Severus, who looked better than he had the day before.

"Not particularly, no. It is rather predictable. When I read a book, I wish to have to think, and for the protagonist to have to think as well. What is the fun when everything they are told turns out to be the truth?"

Harry didn't have an answer. "Perhaps you need to find another book to read."

"Perhaps so. I found it in the library upstairs, and decided to read it while I wait for Magnolia. She is sending an owl to her friend Amanda, but should be down soon."

"How is your back?" Harry asked as he took a biscuit from the plate that was beside Severus.

"Tolerable," was the curt response.

"And that means?" Harry asked, hoping against hope, but knowing what the answer would be.

"And that means no, Harry, not today or tonight, perhaps not for several nights. Have you changed your mind yet? Is this decrepit old man and his limitations going to drive you away?"

Harry took a bite of the biscuit. "Never," he answered. Then he smiled, his mouth open.

"Lovely; I've always wanted to see what a chewed up biscuit looked like."

Harry smirked and looked toward the stairs and watched as Magnolia ran down them.

* * *

"Okay, I sent the owl with my letter to Amanda, Daddy Severus. You needed to talk to me?" Magnolia asked as she jumped from the third step from the bottom onto the floor and entered the sitting room.

An amused Severus looked at Harry, then leaned in so his daughter wouldn't hear what he said. "When I was thirteen, I jumped from the seventh step from the bottom. As far as I know, that is the record."

"Only seven?" asked a grinning Harry.

Severus opened his mouth to make a cheeky reply, but he quickly changed his mind. "Yes. When I attempted eight, I slipped on the bottom step and hit my head."

"Ah, so that's what happened," replied Harry before popping another biscuit in his mouth.

Severus glared at Harry, then turned toward his daughter, who now sat by the fire, and he noticed that her nose looked smaller. He sighed, looked at Harry, whose grin was now huge, and knew that this was a battle he didn't wish to take on. Harry wouldn't be much of a help in this situation; in fact, Severus could see the future now: Harry and Magnolia sitting at the dinner table, Harry urging Magnolia to make her nose bigger, or her ears larger. It wasn't at all a comforting image.

"Your daughter has taken her first steps as a Metamorhpmagus, Severus. You must be so proud."

Severus acted as if he hadn't heard Harry. He instead looked at Magnolia again. "Not happy with your nose?"

"I love my nose just fine, thanks; I only wanted to see what I would look like with another one. I even tried one that looked like yours."

A slight chuckle from Harry elicited another glare. "You do remember what we discussed regarding your abilities, yes?" Severus asked, his voice as serious as he could make it.

"Yes, sir. I won't do anymore changes than we already agreed on, and I know that I'm never to use my abilities to make people think I am someone I am not… unless it is an emergency and my life is in danger."

"Very well," Severus said, a bit of resignation obvious. "If you will humor me, I would very much appreciate it if you returned your nose to its original form. I have some rather important news to tell you."

"Okay."

Severus watched in fascination as his daughter transformed her nose from the too-small-and-narrow variety to the Malfoy-aristocratic variety. He glanced at Harry and saw that he was also fascinated, but at least he had been around a Metamorphmagus. Severus was not at all certain he would ever be accustomed to this ability that his daughter possessed.

"Okay, it's back to normal, so what do you have to tell me?"

Severus looked at Harry, not knowing what to say.

"Do you want me to tell her, Severus?"

"No. I need to do this." Severus noticed that his daughter was looking at Harry, a contemplative expression on her face, and then she opened her mouth. Severus tensed. What was his daughter about to say?

"Perhaps I am about to get myself in loads of trouble, Daddy Severus, but are you and Professor Potter per-chance together now?"

What a relief. Severus looked at Harry and smirked. "That was not so difficult." He chose to ignore the snort and returned his attention to his daughter. "We are, Magnolia." He didn't anticipate Magnolia being upset, but he did think that it might take her a while to be comfortable with the idea of her father and one of her professors being togther.

"You are?" she smiled and looked at Harry. "You're really together?"

Harry nodded. "Really. We are."

"Does Nana Prince know?"

"She does," replied Severus. "So you are okay with this?"

"Yes. Yes, I am more than okay with this! Amanda and I have been saying that the two of you should get together. I can't wait to owl her and tell her that you're together. And I imagine that Madam Pomfrey will be happy. She also thought the two of you should be together."

"She did, did she? Do you have any questions for us?" Severus hoped not.

"No, I don't think so."

Feeling immensely relieved, Severus looked at Harry. "Your turn."

Harry nodded and smiled at Magnolia. "When we are not at Hogwarts, you may call me Harry, Magnolia, but at Hogwarts, you must continue to address me as Professor Potter."

"Yes, sir. I'm glad that you and Daddy Severus are together, Harry. I didn't like it when he seemed so lonely."

"Thank you, Magnolia," Harry said.

Severus didn't know how to respond to his daughter's comment, but it did propel him to do something he hadn't thought he would do. Thus far, he had kept his hands to himself — he had thought it would be best to do so. Now, however, especially after his daughter's comment, Severus changed his mind. He reached for one of Harry's hands, covered it with his, then looked at his daughter. "Your father has many faults, Magnolia, but he is trying his best to improve. Harry is helping me do that, and I love him very much." Severus then looked at Harry and smiled as green eyes and a small grin met his gaze.

Severus was no longer lonely.


	59. Chapter 59

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LIX  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 5,160  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst, lots and lots of slashy male foreplay (not going to warn for each one - they are surprises) and sex, and adult language  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Fifty-Nine**

This chapter is dedicated to Severus Snape, whose love for Harry's mother, Lily, saved Harry and several other students' and Order Members' lives. Happy Birthday, Severus.

"So when is _Potter Manor_ going to be ready for us to come see it?" Ron asked as he finished off his second pint. "We're going to have some great parties there, mate."

Harry shook his head and grinned as he walked to the refrigerator. Ron would never change; it was as if he were an eternal teenager. "It should be ready in February, and stop calling it that. It's nowhere near as big as Malfoy's home. And don't be so certain about the parties. Severus isn't one to entertain. You have no idea how much he protested this small New Year's Eve get-together."

"It's not as if he has to be here or at any party you have, Harry. He can go work in his dungeons or whatever he calls them. I still can't believe you and he are together. It's Snape, Harry!" exclaimed Ron as he ran his fingers through his hair and then whispered, "_greasy_ _git_."

Harry rolled his eyes and stuck his head inside and looked for the butterbeers that he had put in to chill earlier. Most people liked their butterbeer warm on cold, blustery nights, but not Harry. He found two bottles and withdrew them, then closed the refrigerator and shook his head as he slid one of the bottles to Ron, then leaned against the counter. There was no getting through to his best mate, and Harry knew there was no sense trying. Ron would come round eventually, when he saw that Severus wasn't going anywhere. "Hermione told me that you and she found a house near your parents."

"Oh, okay, so Snape's off-limits," Ron said as he sighed (the overly exaggerated kind). "Too bad, but I understand. I might not like it, but I understand. I wouldn't want to listen to anyone talk down about Hermione. Sorry about that, Harry. Yeah, we thought that it'd be better to be near Mum and Dad. Mum can watch the baby during the day."

Harry opened his mouth, not even knowing what to say. Perhaps impending fatherhood was making Ron grow up… something certainly was, Harry mused. "Hermione's parents can't be too happy about that," Harry said as he opened his butterbeer.

"No, but they understand. Both of them work, and they didn't want us to leave the baby with someone else, so this really is the best thing for everyone. Besides, I'm fairly certain that we'll be at her parents' house quite a bit," Ron added, not looking particularly happy about spending extra time at his in-laws.

"Will you and Hermione continue to work in London?"

"For now we will, but I can't imagine that we'll do that for long. So how are you? You look better. Hermione was frantic with worry the day Snape took you back to Hogwarts. She thought it was her fault that you had done too much."

"No, it wasn't her fault, Ron; I overdid it, is all."

"So you're better now?" asked Ron as he opened his butterbeer.

"It depends on what you mean by better," Harry said as he shrugged his shoulders before he set down the butterbeer and hopped up onto the counter. He was careful not to hit his foot, but failed, and grimaced when pain shot through his ankle and foot.

"Your foot's gonna get better, yeah?"

Harry took in a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, trying to will away the dizziness, then reopened them and berated himself for being so stupid. "Probably so, but it'll never be the same. Yesterday morning I wiggled my toes for the first time, so that's good. It would have been better if whoever did this to me would have removed my bones instead of crushing them. Madam Pomfrey said had that happened, Skele-Gro would've worked, but with the bones crushed as they were, that wasn't an option."

"And your heart?" asked Ron, a bit hesitantly, as he popped a biscuit into his mouth.

"It's weak, and I've lost a lot of magic. If I give up magic, I could possibly live a long life, but if I don't, I don't think I have a lot of time. Severus assures me that I'm not in that dire of a situation, but I know my body, and I know how I feel."

"Well, Harry, you have to admit that you've always been a bit dramatic. Maybe you just think you're worse off than you are."

"Could be, but I don't think so, Ron."

"So are you going to give up magic?"

"No. It's a part of me, and it's who I am." Harry wished they could change the topic of conversation — talking about his health was quickly eroding the good mood that he'd had.

"Yeah, I can understand that. I don't think I could ever give it up either. So what does Snape say about you not giving up magic?"

"He understands, and he says it's my decision. Mind you, he won't admit that there's anything terminally wrong with me, so he doesn't think I need to give it up in order to live longer."

"You're going to teach this term, yeah?"

"Yeah. Er… I didn't think about this earlier, but have you thought about coming back to Hogwarts? I've heard that the Quidditch instructor is leaving after summer term."

"Can't say that I've ever given any thought about that, no, but that could be something that would work. I might owl McGonagall and ask her about it. Okay, as much as I wish I could stay in here and talk to you, I've got to go find Hermione and play the part of dutiful husband and father-to-be."

Harry followed Ron out of the kitchen into the sitting room, where George and Severus looked to be in a deep conversation by the fireplace. Charlie was with them, but his eyes seemed to be glued to Draco, who was talking to Magnolia by the stairs. Harry grinned and pointed toward Magnolia, who was sporting green hair and a rather large pair of ears.

"I bet that drives Snape spare," Ron said as he saw Magnolia. "Does she change a lot, like Tonks did?"

"I'm rather proud of how well Severus is doing concerning his daughter being a Metamorphmagus," Harry said, his pride certainly evident, "and no, she's on a strict limit as to how many changes she can go through in a day. In fact, she has reached her limit for today." Magnolia turned and waved at him and pointed to her ears. Harry smiled, but then held up his hand and gave her the look that meant no more changes. He expected her to be upset, but she nodded and changed her hair and ears back. He could see that Ron was staring at him, and turned toward him. "What?"

"That's not normal, Harry. A twelve-year-old is not supposed to conform that easily. It's against the code of being a wizard-in-training."

"I'll remember to tell your child that when they are so brazen as to listen to what you and Hermione tell them," Harry said, grinning. "I don't see Hermione or Eileen, but I know where they are. Follow me." Harry opened the door that would take them to the garden.

"They're outside? It's freezing outside, Harry."

"Yeah, well, Eileen and Charlie have been working to get the garden in shape all week, so I'm guessing Eileen wanted to show Hermione how it looks." Just as he thought, Hermione and Eileen were discussing something over by the Hellebore plant that Eileen had finally had the chance to prune.

"Hermione is going to want a garden now," said a sighing Ron as he examined the wide variety of plants.

"Yeah. Gin and I spent a lot of time working on the garden at the Burrow. It was a lot of fun. I think I'm going to do one at the new house."

"That'd be good. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, but Ginny gets to go home next Monday."

"So she's okay? Has she got her memory back yet?"

"Not from the past two years, no, but yeah, she seems fine, and she's now talking to everyone. She was none too happy that the healers wouldn't allow her to come here tonight."

"Ron, Harry," Eileen said as she and Hermione walked toward them. "I was showing Hermione what Charlie and I have done to the garden, but it is getting a bit too cold for Hermione to be out. Let us join the others in the sitting room. It is almost midnight."

* * *

Severus opened the door and plastered a grin on his face as he entered the sitting room and approached an inebriated Draco, who was now speaking to Charlie Weasley, who was well on his way to joining Draco in the inebriated as well as sexual sense. Lucius had to be rolling over in his grave as his son rubbed against Charlie and ruffled his hair. Severus thought briefly about somehow separating the two, but who was he to deny the two a bit of sexual relief? As far as he knew, Draco wasn't interested in wizards, but who said he had to be to have sex with one?

Changing course and now walking toward Harry, who was speaking to Ron and Hermione, Severus again wondered how he had allowed himself to be talked into this.

As far back as he could remember, Severus had spent New Year's Eve either alone or with family, and he'd had every intention of doing the same this year. He had wanted him and Harry to welcome in the New Year in bed, making love, which was why he had been telling Harry they couldn't do anything more than the occasional kiss for more than two days. Now, instead of showing Harry how much he loved him when the clock showed 12:00, Severus would be entertaining a houseful of people (well, perhaps it was little more than a handful, but even one other person's presence prevented Severus and Harry from having sex, so houseful, handful — what was the difference?).

Although his prospects didn't look favorable, Severus hadn't quite given up on his original plan; where there was a will, there was a way. He approached Harry. "Harry, a word?" Severus asked as Ron looked at him skeptically, which he had been doing most of the night. According to George, his brother was having difficulty processing that his best mate was in a relationship with the _greasy git_.

Severus led Harry to the fireplace so they could have some privacy. "Do you think you could get away for about an hour?"

"We can't leave our guests, Severus."

"My mother is the one whose idea this party was; she can be the hostess until we return."

"Er… okay. I hate to leave everyone, but yeah, I can get away. Where're we going?"

"It's a surprise," Severus said, barely able to contain his excitement. He looked around, found his mother, and nodded. After she smiled and nodded in return, Severus led Harry outside, then lifted him and his crutches into his arms. "Close your eyes, Harry."

"Okay," was Harry's only response.

Not quite believing that Harry was being so cooperative, Severus tightened his hold, then Disapparated, and reappeared a few seconds later. He looked around and smiled when he saw that he had indeed Apparated to the correct place.

"May I open my eyes?" asked Harry.

"Not yet." Severus began walking, then pointed his wand at the door and whispered an unlocking charm, then entered the house and lit the fire in the sitting room. He then sat on the sofa, Harry still in his lap. "Okay, you may open your eyes now, Harry," Severus said, his voice trembling. Why was he so nervous? He watched Harry open his eyes and realize where they were. A huge grin found its way to his face and then he reached up and kissed Severus on the cheek.

"We're at my house." Harry looked around, then looked back at Severus. "They haven't finished it, have they?"

"No. They'll be back on the second. I wanted to do something special for the New Year, and I thought perhaps we could welcome in 2010 making love in your house. I know how proud you are to have it almost ready. You're not upset I brought you here, are you?" Severus fervently hoped not.

"Upset? Are you serious? I think this is bloody brilliant. I can't think of a better way to welcome in the New Year. We do need to clear up one bit of information, however. We aren't going to make love in my bedroom; it's yours as well, Severus, so let's go to our bedroom and make love."

_To read the not-safe-for-this-site scene, you are going to have to go to 'HP Fandom.' If you are unfamiliar with the site, you simply put the name of the site together and add dot net in a google search, and the site should come up. 'To Live Again' should be one of the recent fics posted, but if you are reading this some other time in the future, it won't be, so you can go to 'authors' and look for 'mk malfoy' or you can go to 'search' and type in 'To Live Again.' Sorry for the inconvenience, but there is no way I am risking losing all of my fics and feedback! Enjoy reading!_


	60. Chapter 60

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LX  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 2,900  
**Summary**: Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. SS/HP  
**Warnings**: mentions of sexual activities  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Sixty**

Severus opened the door as quietly as he could, and he and Harry tried not to make any noise as they entered the sitting room. The house was dark, cold, and quiet: everyone, no doubt, still slept. Severus pointed his wand at the fireplace, lit a fire, then entered the kitchen to prepare him and Harry an early breakfast. Harry joined him several minutes later and kissed the back of his neck, and Severus decided that this was an addition to his morning routine that he could most definitely become addicted to. He had spent far too many mornings alone and lonely, and the prospect of Harry's green eyes and beautiful grin being the first sights he saw when he woke each morning gave Severus another reason to thank Merlin that he was alive.

"It is freezing in here, Severus," said a chattering Harry as he found the pockets in Severus's robes and placed his hands inside.

"Go sit by the fire; I'll call you when breakfast is ready," Severus said as he covered Harry's hands with his. "You should get off of your foot; I think our activities over the past eight hours have rather set back both our recoveries, so I would prefer you not do too much for the remainder of the day." The tea began to steep, reminding Severus that he had other things he needed to be doing. He reluctantly withdrew his hands. "You need to take your potions; they are on the second shelf above the table on the right side. I moved them last night so they would not be knocked over," Severus said as he turned around and kissed Harry. He then went to retrieve the beans in what Harry called the refrigerator… which reminded him of a question he had intended to ask the previous night, but he'd had other more pressing matters on his mind, such as a naked Harry and an erection that had made cognizant thought almost impossible. "Why did you decide to have a Muggle refrigerator in your home?" Severus asked as he watched Harry take the first potion. "Why not use a cold box, like what we have here?"

"I like the convenience of them," Harry replied as he opened the second vial. "A long time ago, when I thought about having a home of my own, I said that no matter what anyone else thought, I would have a refrigerator. It's the only Muggle appliance I have. And now, it seems like a good thing I have one. I won't have to use magic to chill things. It must take a lot of magic to keep things cold."

Although Severus didn't understand the allure of such a contraption, and thought that this Muggle convenience that Harry so liked did a poor job of chilling drinks and food, he nodded. Harry had grown up with Muggles, so, of course he would be more inclined to use and want Muggle appliances. "When I was a child, my mother would renew the charms each morning and they would last until the following morning." Severus pointed his wand at the beans and warmed them, then made toast, put the beans on, then carried the two plates to the table and placed one in front of Harry. "Tea?"

"Yes, please," Harry replied. "Mmm, beans on toast; I haven't had that in a while. Er, Severus?" Harry said, his tone now much more serious as he gave Severus an odd look, "how did you know that I liked beans on toast? I don't think I've had them since you were younger, and I can't imagine that I would have ever mentioned what types of food I preferred."

Severus prepared his and Harry's tea, then joined him at the table. Could his memories be returning? Over the past week, he had seen his mother's responses to some of the stories he had been sharing with Harry, and while she hadn't said anything, she had given him some rather peculiar looks. Severus now wondered if his memories he'd shared were from his second childhood, and not his first. It would make sense, but Severus was hesitant to believe that he could be getting his memories back. He wanted to remember them so badly, and he didn't want to get his hopes up only to have them dashed. "Have you noticed me saying any other things that seemed not right?"

"Not that I can think of, no," Harry replied as he shivered.

"You should go have a shower after you eat. I don't want you catching cold," Severus said as he watched Harry's body shake.

"Yes, Father," Harry said, cheekily, as he rolled his eyes at Severus. "Er… sorry. Kind of just slipped," he then added, his grin now gone.

Not amused, a perturbed Severus set down his teacup, pushed back his chair, then stood. "I'll ask that you not address me as father again," Severus said, his voice not showing any emotion as he retrieved a butterbeer for Harry (a non-chilled one) and set it down beside his tea. "This will help warm you for now." Harry nodded and looked properly chastised. Severus shook his head and wondered again what he had got himself into with Harry, who certainly knew how to ruin a perfectly good mood. "I think I should talk to my mother. Perhaps I am getting my memories back," Severus said, his voice now almost inaudible as he sat down once again and took another bite of his breakfast.

"Yeah, I think that'd be a good idea. Do you want to get the memories back, Severus?"

Oh yes. He did. "I do." Severus wanted to remember the happy memories from his second childhood, and he wanted to remember his time with Harry. As a boy, Severus hadn't had any male role-models that he wished to emulate, and knowing that someone had cared enough for him, and had taken time out of their day to mentor him, it meant more to Severus than he would ever admit to anyone, and that it was Harry who had done this… it was enough to cause Severus to clear his throat and turn his head away from Harry.

The kitchen door opened. Severus turned towards the door and watched his mother enter.

"Bore da,***** Severus and Harry." "Sut mae******?"

"Good morning, Mother. It has been a most invigorating morning. I can't complain," Severus answered as he grinned at Harry.

"Good morning, Eileen," Harry said, grinning as he looked from Severus to Eileen. "Severus and I watched the sunrise this morning, so it's going to be a really good day, I think."

Severus had to stifle a chuckle. He and Harry had watched other things rise as well as they had lain in the dew-dampened grass.

"I can't tell you how good it is to see the two of you so happy," said Eileen as she looked at both Harry and Severus. "Don't worry, Severus, I do not plan on asking any questions. It is a mother's right to be happy for her son, so just allow me that, okay?"

Severus nodded, but held his breath, not at all certain that his mother meant what she said about not asking questions.

"After the two of you left last night, we had a rather bad storm come through, so I insisted that everyone stay here. I put Magnolia in your room, Severus. I thought it might be better to have her downstairs, apart from everyone else."

"You mean apart from Draco and Charlie, no doubt," Severus replied. "Thank you for that. I am not quite prepared to have to tell her about the mechanics of how males have sex." Truth be told, Severus would never be prepared for such a talk.

"While I agree that she does not need to walk in on anyone having sex, she is almost a teenager, Severus," replied Eileen as she prepared her tea. "If she does not already know what is involved, which I am almost certain she does, she will find out, and wouldn't you rather her know the truth rather than half-truths?"

Severus took a sip of his tea and sighed as he looked at Harry for help, which he immediately realized he wouldn't receive. "She has told me that she knows how babies are created, but what you say is correct, therefore, I'll have a talk with her later today, Mother. For now, I need to know if you have any plans for the next hour."

"No. Why?"

"I need to ask you some questions regarding my childhood."

* * *

Harry, still shivering, banished his plate, teacup, and empty butterbeer bottle to their respective places (he was quite happy to finally have his wand back), then left the kitchen, wanting to give Severus and Eileen privacy. He did need and want to have a shower, but he would wait until after Severus and his mother talked, or until either Charlie or Draco woke up. In another week, he should be able to get in and out of the shower without any help, which he looked forward to. His being treated as if he were the fragile angel, that still sat atop the Christmas tree, was not at all pleasant, and was about to get on Harry's last nerve.

"Hey, Harry," said a familiar voice from the sofa.

"Hey, Draco," Harry said as he neared the fire. "You look like you've been thoroughly ravaged. Charlie still asleep?" Harry ran his eyes over Draco and thought that he didn't look half-bad... for a pretty boy. Once, not so long ago, Harry had been into men like Draco, but not now. Now Harry preferred the dark and weathered type. Nonetheless, Harry would have to be blind not to appreciate how beautiful Malfoy was with his creamy-white skin and grey eyes. Draco's mixture of dark and light blond hair was sticking up and out in every direction, and he had on a pair of jeans, no shirt, no socks, and, from the look of his jeans, that didn't hide much, no pants.

"Yes, when I left him, he was sleeping, and how did you know what we did?"

Harry gave Draco a look that said he had to be joking. "Er… I hate to let you in on the secret, Draco, but _everyone_, with the possible exception of Magnolia, knew what you and Charlie were about to do. You were practically humping his leg the last I saw."

"Oh. I guess I had a bit much to drink."

"Yeah, I'd have to agree, but you weren't the only one. Charlie was fairly pissed as well. So is this a one-time thing with you and him?" Harry asked, hoping Draco's answer would be no, but fearing it would be yes.

"And this is your business how?"

"It's not. Just curious is all," was Harry's attempt at feigning indifference.

"I don't know what's going to happen; his family doesn't like me at all. Can't say I blame them, though. I quite like Charlie, but I don't think I can deal with his family right now. It's just too much with my father dying. I don't need any more stress in my life."

Harry could understand that. "You didn't seem that happy last night when you arrived. It didn't occur to me until just now, but I guess it was a bit weird for you to be here at Severus's mother's house."

"Yeah. I almost didn't come. Severus is the one who encouraged me to go ahead and attend. I know he doesn't have any memories of what I did to him, Harry, but Eileen does, and I'll never forget how upset she was with me when I told her and Severus about his past."

"Why did you do it, Draco? Why would you tell him? I just don't understand." Harry really did want to know why, and he also wished he understood what it was about his former nemesis that made Harry not be completely exasperated with him. Draco's actions of the past few months should have made Harry furious. Instead, Harry found himself feeling sorry for Draco.

Draco shook his head. "I probably made a mistake by telling Severus everything I did, but I did it because I thought his life was in danger. Now, of course, I know that I was little more than a pawn that my father used to play his little game. What's done is done, though, and we can't change it," finished a frowning Draco, a bit of fringe falling into his eyes as he lowered his head.

"Yeah," Harry answered, again feeling pity for Draco, who had lost just as much as he had. "I wasn't thinking about how Eileen, or Severus, or you would feel when I invited you here last night. One of the reasons I wanted you to be here was Magnolia, and I also knew that Charlie liked you. I didn't mean to make you, Eileen, or Severus feel uncomfortable; that is the last thing I wanted to do, Draco."

"Don't worry about it, Harry. Severus and I are working through our differences, and we'll be fine. I can't say that we'll ever be close again, but I think we have agreed that, for Magnolia's sake, we need to get past what has happened. And as for Eileen, she actually came and sat down by me for about half an hour and talked to me about what happened. I could tell that it still upset her to think about it, but she told me that everything happens for a reason and that I was welcome in her home anytime. Harry, had I been her, and had she done what I did, to my son, I don't think I'd be able to forgive her."

"Eileen is a remarkable person, Draco. She has been through so much, yet nothing gets her down. I watch her daily and marvel at the energy she has." Harry grinned as Charlie made his way down the stairs. "Hey, sleepy head. Get your beauty sleep?"

"Not really. Didn't get too much sleep last night," Charlie said as he yawned and sat beside Draco.

"Hm, yeah, buggering kind of cuts into sleep. Funny that," Harry said as he grinned and allowed his eyes to wander over Charlie's body. While he was not as gorgeous as Draco, his body was tanned, well-toned, and compact, and of all of the Weasley brothers, Charlie was the best-looking one in Harry's opinion. He and Charlie had shared a kiss and a bit more once, eleven years earlier, but that was a secret that no one knew about. It had been that encounter that had made Harry realize he might be interested in blokes a bit more than witches.

"So where did you and Severus go?" Charlie asked. "One minute the two of you were here, and the next, you were gone."

"He took me to my house." That was all the information Harry was going to share, but a huge grin overtook his face as he thought about what he and Severus had done not even two hours earlier.

_As Severus pushed Harry back so that he was lying in the dew-covered grass, then kissed and entered him, again and again, Harry decided that there were definite advantages to having a home in the country: noise was at a minimum, neighbors were too far away to stop by and chat, and if lovers wanted to make love outdoors as the sun came up, they could, without much worry of disrupting anyone else's sense of propriety._

Harry turned his head and watched the sun as it began to rise, thankful that Severus was here to witness it with him. As the sun continued to rise, so did Harry's urge to scream, and when the sun was too bright to look at, Harry let out a strangled cry as his orgasm roared through his body and out through his cock. He was certain that he was going to pass out. He didn't, and was rewarded when he felt Severus's orgasm vibrate through him. 

What a wonderful memory it was. Harry's grin increased.

"And?" said Draco, as he turned so he could lie down and rest his head in Charlie's lap.

"And nothing. I don't kiss and tell," Harry replied.

"But you and Severus… er you made love, yeah?" Charlie asked. "You know Draco and I did," he added as he ran his hands through Draco's hair and leant down to kiss him.

The door to the kitchen opened, and Harry was relieved to see that Severus was smiling as he held a piece of parchment in his hands — that was a good sign. Harry turned back to Charlie and Draco, who were both looking at him, awaiting his answer. They looked like two little boys who expected sweets. Harry so hated to disappoint them, but he hadn't been lying — he didn't kiss and tell. It wasn't his fault that Charlie and Draco had been pissed and had practically mauled one another where everyone could see. "That's for me to know and for you not to know," Harry said as he stood and gave the two an exaggerated grin.

He wasn't daft — they knew what he and Severus had gone off to do, as did everyone else in the house, other than Magnolia (hopefully).

_*****_ _Bore da – good morning in Welsh  
__******__ Sut mae – how are you in Welsh_


	61. Chapter 61

**Title**: To Live Again: Part LXI (final chapter)  
**Author**: MK Malfoy  
**Characters**: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore, Eileen Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley  
**Rating**: M+  
**Words**: 3,600  
**Summary**: **Now Complete!** Why is there a student who looks like a young Snape? This fic is canon-compliant with the exception of the epilogue. SS/HP  
**Warnings**: angst  
**Disclaimer**: I own none of what I write about; it is all Jo's and her friends!

**Chapter Sixty-One**

As he was about to put on his pants, Harry stood in front of the mirror and stared at his reflection. He was far too skinny, much too pale, and he knew that this was not going to be one of his good days.

The previous evening, while walking outside, he'd tripped and fallen on his left foot. Fortunately, Severus had been with him, had carried him inside, and had played healer. He hadn't allowed Harry to move without help until a couple of hours earlier; in fact, Harry was somewhat surprised that Severus had allowed him to shower without help.

Now Harry's foot throbbed, and it seemed to make his entire body hurt. He sighed. It wasn't fair. He had felt so good for the past week, and had been able to go all day with minimal pain and without tiring. Today, he doubted he'd make it until two without a kip.

Of all the days — he, Severus, Eileen, and Magnolia were to return to Hogwarts in the afternoon, and he was to go see Ginny and all the other Weasleys after the Welcoming Feast, which he was going to do, no matter how tired or bad he felt. He couldn't wait to see Ginny and everyone else. According to George, even Draco would be at the Burrow, so Harry knew it would be an interesting evening.

He dressed, then began to walk toward his room, but stopped when he saw that Magnolia was sitting at her desk. He knocked on her door, and when she asked him to enter, he did.

"Are you working on your essay that you told me about last night?" Harry asked as he sat on her bed.

"Yes, and it's harder than I thought it would be."

Harry let out a brief laugh, then shook his head when Magnolia glared at him. Oh how she reminded him of when he had been twelve. That was one age Harry definitely would not want to repeat. "Just wait until next year. Your father assigned us some rather difficult topics to write essays on in third year." Harry grinned when Magnolia sighed. "Lucky for you, he is your father." That comment received another glare, so Harry decided to lighten the mood. "I just had an idea. Since it is our last day here, and you and I seem to be the only ones who enjoy picnics, would you like to eat with me in the garden?" The huge grin that Magnolia gave him told him that he had been forgiven.

"Yes, that would be fun. I can't believe it's already time to go back to Hogwarts. I'm ready in a way, but then I'm not."

Harry understood exactly how Magnolia felt. "I'll leave you to your writing. I'll come get you when lunch is ready." Harry slowly pulled himself into a standing position and began to walk out of the room, but stopped when he heard Magnolia's chair move across the wood floor. He turned around and saw that she was looking at him oddly. No doubt she could see that he wasn't feeling well, but she had no idea what had happened. He didn't want to worry her needlessly.

"What?" Harry asked.

"It's nothing," she said, not at all convincingly, as she shook her head.

Harry noticed how sad she looked. "Magnolia, if you need to talk, you can talk to me, anytime, okay?"

Magnolia nodded, then turned back toward her desk.

* * *

Severus closed the small journal and ran a hand over it as he thought about what it represented: The words within had been written by someone who Severus was unfamiliar with, yet he felt as if he knew that little boy, because that little boy had lived the life Severus had dreamed about as a small child as he had cried himself to sleep each night.

For the past month, night after night, Severus had read entry after entry, but no more would he do so. It had become an unhealthy obsession.

Voices from the garden drifted through the window and roused Severus from his thoughts: Harry and Magnolia were eating lunch, and laughter gave proof that the two were having a grand time. Severus had declined their invitation to join them; he'd given the excuse of packing, but the truth was that he wanted to give Harry and Magnolia some time together. It was important that his daughter and Harry got on well, and to further that, he tried to give the two time each day without him.

Returning his gaze to the journal, Severus set it down, knowing that he'd never read its contents again, then looked at his old and battered trunk that held his belongings. His grandmother (his mother's mother) had given it to him on his eleventh birthday, and the years had not been kind to the black trunk. While Severus had thought about buying a new one that was larger and better looking, he hadn't been able to part with this one — it held too many memories: some good, mostly bad, but all of them lessons, and he didn't want to forget any of them.

"You look content, Severus."

Severus turned and nodded toward his mother, who was holding folded clothes in her arms as she stood in the doorway of his bedroom. "I am." Severus then closed his trunk.

"You'll never know how good it is to hear you say that, Severus. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. So you are packed and ready to go?"

"I am."

"Do you know if Magnolia has packed all of her things yet?"

Severus smiled and nodded. No matter that he was an adult and had a daughter, it was nice to know that he had a mother who would always remind him that someone was looking out for him. Yes, it was often exasperating when his mother asked him questions and treated him as if he were a child, but he knew that one day she wouldn't be there to ask him, and that day would be when Severus would trade everything in the world just to hear her mother him. "Yes, she is packed and ready to go. Harry said he has a few more items to pack, but we will be ready to go by half-four," Severus replied, a bit of sadness in his voice, which he knew his mother wouldn't miss.

"You're not ready to return to Hogwarts, are you?"

"Not particularly, no. Harry and I are just now getting to know one another, and I do not want that to change." Severus picked up the journal and then looked out the window at the Black Grouse that was perched on a tree limb.

"Nothing has to change, Severus. Harry told me that you were moving into his rooms. Just because the two of you will be teaching does not mean that anything has to change."

"Yes, I am aware of that, Mother. Perhaps it isn't so much Harry and me that I am worried about. I am concerned about how the students are going to accept me, and I am apprehensive that Harry will resent me for taking Potions away from him."

"Severus, look at me," said his mother in a much softer tone of voice.

He did as asked.

"You will do fine as a teacher; I have the utmost confidence in your abilities. As for Harry, he doesn't, nor will he ever resent you for teaching Potions, Severus. He has told me as much."

"No matter what he says, Mother, he cannot possibly predict how he will feel about it in the future."

"How very right you are. Harry is human, and yes, I do think he is going to miss teaching Potions, but he has agreed to this, as have you. There is no going back, so I think it best if you do not dwell on that which you cannot change," was his mother's matter-of-fact response.

Severus grinned. "You always did know how to pull me out of my self-pity."

"Yes, well, I have had quite a bit of practice at it, haven't I? I have packing to do, but I have brought you the essay to read that Magnolia wrote for the time-capsule that she and I have been working on this past week. I asked her if it would be okay if you read it, and she said yes, but she would rather we not question her about what she has written, at least not now."

Severus nodded as he took the parchment that was lying on top of a flannel, and placed his journal where the parchment had been. "I have decided to add this; it is doing me no good." It was a foregone conclusion that his mother wouldn't think this was a good idea, and her expression spoke her thoughts better than words ever could.

"Are you certain that you wish to part with it? There are no guarantees that you will regain your memories of your second childhood, Severus, and I know that you have received comfort from reading about your happy times with Harry and me."

Every word his mother spoke was the truth, and it was difficult thinking about parting with the journal, but Severus knew himself better than anyone else, and he knew that if he did not do this… well, he just needed to do this. "Mother, my life is in the here and now, and the past is the past. I think it best if I add the journal to the time-capsule. That way, I do not have the temptation to re-read about how things were then."

"I think I can understand that, Severus. When you are finished reading the essay, you know where the time-capsule is. There is a smaller box within that has Magnolia's name on it."

Severus nodded and watched his mother turn and leave, then he opened the parchment to see what his daughter had written.

_Hello. My name is Magnolia Druella Snape, I am twelve years old, and the date today is 10 January 2010. My grandmother, Eileen Prince Snape, and I have decided to make a time-capsule so that our family members in the future will know what our lives in 2010 were like. I am not a very good writer, but I wanted to write down some of my thoughts about the past few months because it has only been since then that I have known that I am a member of this wonderful family. Here is my essay:_

_My friend, Amanda, says that we all live our lives in shades of grey, and that there is no black and white. I would have to agree with her. My life has certainly never been black or white._

_Before 31 December 2009, my name, legally, was Magnolia Steele. On 01 January 2010, my name became, legally, Magnolia Druella Snape. I will always retain parts of both of those identities._

_Until almost two months ago, my father, legally, according to the law, was Ophiuchus Steele. Today, my father, legally and biologically, is Severus Snape. I will forever have two fathers._

_Almost two-and-a-half months ago, I had a best friend by the name of Severus Snape. Today my best friend is my father. That is strange, but strange is not always bad._

_These occurrences prove that my life has not been a normal one, but thankfully everyone who has had a say in my upbringing never hinted that there was anything abnormal about my existence. For this, I am grateful._

_I loved the man who was my father for twelve and a half years. He made certain that I was cared for and that I had what I needed. I learned about the world around me, and I was taught how to be polite and respectful toward others. He helped to nurture my curiosity, and there never was a stupid question as far as he was concerned._

_If circumstances had been different, and had I not been taken away from my biological parents, my life would now be completely different. No one can say if I would have been worse or better off, but I do not dwell on the past; I would much rather concentrate on the present — a present that includes Daddy Severus, Nana Prince, and Harry. They are the three most important people in my life, and I love them so very much. Following is a brief paragraph or two about each of them._

_Harry is one of my professors at Hogwarts, and he and Daddy Severus are now together — yes, that kind of together! Some people might think it odd that two men would love each other and want to spend their lives together, but if you saw Harry and Daddy Severus together, you wouldn't think it odd at all. They are in love, and it is a beautiful thing to see. Yes, I might only be twelve, but I know enough to know that they are meant to be together. I hope they are able to be together for a very long time._

_About a month ago, Harry was kidnapped and hurt very badly. He looks so much better now, but his heart is still weak; he tries not to show it, but I can see it in his eyes. When I asked Daddy Severus if Harry would get better, he smiled and said yes, but then he told me that we should not dwell on the future because then we tend to forget to live in the present. I am trying to heed his advice, but it isn't easy. Harry makes Daddy Severus happy, and he is the coolest professor ever, so I don't want anything bad to happen to him._

_Nana Prince is Daddy Severus's mother, and she is the best grandmother ever! I don't know much about her past, but I know it hasn't been an easy life for her. It was her idea to do this time-capsule, and I am so happy she came up with this idea._

_Daddy Severus was hurt a few weeks ago, but he seems to be doing much better now. I think his back might be hurting him somewhat, but he never lets anyone see him in pain, at least he tries not to._

_He has told me a little bit about some bad choices he made when he was younger, and I know that he is afraid I might make bad choices as well. I assured him I won't, but he said that every child makes bad choices — it is a part of growing up. I guess he's right, but I am going to try really hard to make him proud of me. I love him so very much and am so thankful that he is my father now._

_There has been a lot going on over the past few months, and I know very little about it, but what I do know is that it isn't easy being a grown-up. I have watched Nana Prince, Harry, and Daddy Severus day after day, and have seen the stress on their faces. It isn't fair that they have had to go through so much, but then again, I know that there are other people who have it far worse than we do._

_Four months ago, I was a happy twelve-year-old, and today I am a happy twelve-year-old. There have been significant changes that have occurred in my life, and not every minute of every day has been easy for me. I miss my father, I miss my red, curly hair, and I will never feel complete because I never met my mother. I don't know what part of me is her, and I don't know what she would have thought of me._

_There will always be unknowns in my life, and that is probably how it should be. If we knew all the answers, life wouldn't be very interesting, would it? Harry says I am an old soul; he told me that sometimes he thinks I belong in another time. Perhaps he is right, but I wouldn't give up being here for all the sweets and the best Quidditch broom that could be made. I know that my life is not perfect, nor will it ever be, and I know that the future will present me with difficult challenges. I will be ready for all of this when the time comes, but for now, I am going to enjoy being a twelve-year-old who loves to fly, who loves to owl her best friend every day, and who loves to get away with things only a child could get away with._

After reading the essay, Severus smiled as he entered the sitting room and placed the essay in Magnolia's box. He was so very proud of his daughter, and wanted nothing more or less than for her to be happy. So much had been taken from her, and it was important that she be able to live the remainder of her childhood without too much worry.

He would honor his daughter's wishes and not discuss what she had written — those were her private thoughts — but Severus did intend to speak with Magnolia and explain to her what had happened to Harry the previous evening, because it was obvious that she was worried. Her worry was not without merit, but Severus did not want his daughter thinking that it was Harry's heart that had him feeling and looking ill.

Severus turned to go, but stopped when Harry entered, holding a small parchment in his hand. It looked very much like… Severus opened his mouth, then shut it and reached out and took the parchment when Harry offered it to him. He turned it over and closed his eyes briefly.

It was his birth announcement, and it had been years since Severus had seen it. If he recalled correctly, the last time he had seen it was the day his father left. Severus recalled begging his father not to go (no matter the physical and emotional abuse, his father had been the only one working, and Severus had thought that he and his mother would starve without his money), and that his father had opened the cabinet where all of their keepsakes were stored. He had then proceeded to tear in half almost everything, but his mother had grabbed the birth announcement before his father could get to it. Unfortunately, he did manage to tear the front of the card off, but the part with the information on it was undamaged, and that was the only keepsake that had survived that horrific day.

Severus read over it, then looked at Harry. "Where did you find it?"

"When you came to Hogwarts, the second time, you carried that around with you, everywhere. I didn't understand why, but I knew it was important to you. When you were kidnapped, the first time, you dropped the announcement, and Draco found it a few days later and brought it to me. I've had it since. I should have given it to you sooner; I apologize for not doing so, Severus. I just wanted to keep it because it reminded me of you as you were when you were eleven."

"There is no need to apologize, Harry. I think perhaps we should put it in the time-capsule as a joint contribution." Severus watched Harry nod, then walked back to the large box and found Harry's box within, and set the announcement inside as he told Harry just why the birth announcement was so important to him. He noticed that there were a few other items in Harry's box that he recognized. One of the items he had only seen from afar, but he knew what it was, and he couldn't believe Harry would part with it. He felt Harry's arms surround him from behind.

"I have carried that pouch with me everywhere, Severus, but it's time I let go of it. It's a part of my past that I need to put to rest. I think we have both let go of things today that we needed to," Harry added as he coughed. "I can't believe you're not keeping the journal."

"Like you, Harry, I need to put the past to rest," Severus said as he covered Harry's hands with his and laced their fingers together. The past wasn't important. All that mattered was the present. He and Harry were going to face an uncertain future, and Severus knew that they were not out of danger on several different fronts, but whatever happened, they would face it together. "How are you feeling," he asked as he released Harry's hands and turned around so that he could look into Harry's eyes. They looked tired. Severus felt Harry's forehead and sighed.

"Not that great, but I'll be okay. I think I'm going to lie down for a bit and then finish packing."

Severus nodded then pulled Harry to him. As Harry's head rested against his chest, Severus kissed the dark, messy hair. What had he ever done in his life to deserve Harry?

A few hours later, Harry and Severus stood at the Apparition point, ready to Apparate to Hogwarts, but before they left, Severus looked behind him at the rolling hills, and thought of how far he had come from the little boy who had dreamed of flying kites during his first childhood, and the little boy who had, according to his mother, run with balloons during his second childhood. He wouldn't trade his lives for anything.

It wasn't often that a person had the chance to live again.

**The end!**

* * *

Thank you for reading "To Live Again." It has been such a fun experience writing this fic, and I have appreciated all of the feedback. I have no plans for a sequel, because I have no time to write one at the moment, but if in future, I do have the time, then a sequel could possibly happen.

Thanks again,

MK Malfoy


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